Until You Met Me

Neither of them spoke for a couple of minutes.

Molly disappeared into her bedroom, returning with an oversized sweatshirt wrapped around her, and Gerard just stood in the hallway, hoping that the few seconds she disappeared for would give him enough time to come up with a way to break the ice. He had thought that he would know what to say. When he had climbed into his car, he had been sure that seeing Molly again would be enough of a motivation to find some words, even if they weren’t the right ones, to say to her, but he had drawn a blank. He knew that she was waiting for him to speak first. Molly had laid her cards out. Her voicemail, although not overly long, had explained her position to him, and she was waiting for him to explain his to her, but words had failed him.

“Any new texts from Tiago?”

The words were out of Gerard’s mouth before he could stop them, accompanied by a nervous smile, and he regretted them immediately when Molly turned and moved to walk down the hall again. Jogging to keep up with her, he gently caught her wrist, stopping her before she could move into her bedroom and close the door in his face. “I’m sorry” he murmured “That was a bad joke. I just...I didn’t know what to say, and that came out. It was stupid, and I’m really sorry” he added.

Molly looked up at him, the starts of a tired smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“You wanted to talk” Gerard answered.

“I wanted to talk hours ago” Molly corrected with a soft sigh “Not at two in the morning. Why are you here now?” she asked.

“I didn’t see the text” Gerard said “Leo had tapped the notification, and he didn’t tell me. I didn’t know that you’d reached out until he saw that I had missed your call. I got here as quickly as I could” he added.

Molly’s eyes searched his face for a long moment, looking for any sign that he wasn’t telling the truth, before she slowly nodded her head. “You listened to the voicemail?” she asked as she walked into her bedroom, sitting down on the side of her bed.

Gerard followed after her tentatively, stopping in the bedroom doorway. “I did” he confirmed “I’m sorry that I haven’t made a move to contact you in the last few days. I just thought that we needed the space” he added.

Molly twisted her fingers in the sleeve of her jumper. “You usually suck at giving me space” she murmured.

The laugh that Gerard let out in response was half pained, and half surprised. “That’s true” he conceded “I just thought that we really needed it this time. This isn’t like the time you got annoyed with me for throwing away your favourite shoes. It was a...a real couple fight, and I didn’t think that rushing back in here and trying to make it right was the right thing to do. We both say stupid things when we’re annoyed, and I...I didn’t want to say something stupid” he added.

Molly nodded her head, her eyes watching her fingers as they toyed with the sleeve of her jumper.

Gerard watched her for a moment, allowing a silence to settle over the two of them, before he shook his head, diverting his stare towards the floor. “I’m sorry I overreacted” he said softly.

“I am sorry that I didn’t tell you when I got the first text” Molly replied, shaking her head ruefully “I think you were right. I thought if I told you, you’d freak out, and I just...I didn’t want to face that. I understand why you’d be insecure when it comes to Tiago. I was really serious about him, and I didn’t initiate our breakup, so I get why you could be worried, but I want you to know that you have absolutely no reason be. Being in love with you might be something that’s new, but having love for you isn’t. You’re my favourite person, and I wouldn’t risk you for anything, not even Tiago” she explained, flashing him a faint smile.

Gerard let out a reluctant laugh, shaking his head slightly.

“I’m sorry if that sounds a little rehearsed” Molly continued, determined to not let the silence settle again “I’m paraphrasing some really cheesy admission I made to my mother earlier. Basically, I want you to know that I...I’d choose you. Over anyone else, I would choose you” she added.

Gerard’s eyes stayed on the floor for a moment before he looked over at her. “I’m scared, Molly” he admitted.

Molly’s forehead furrowed as she blinked up at him. “Scared of what?” she asked.

“All the things you’ve been scared of since we started this” Gerard answered “All of the things that I have tried to reassure you about, I am terrified of happening, too, and I...I don’t know what to do” he added.

For a moment, Molly didn’t know what to do or say. She wanted to comfort him, to tell him that she was scared too, and that they could figure things out if they stuck together, but she couldn’t find the words that she knew he would find if their roles were reversed. He was the confident one out of the two of them. Whenever Molly had had doubts, or found herself getting worked up over something, Gerard had been right there, assuring her that it would be alright, but hearing that he had the same doubts had knocked her. If they both thought that things could go wrong, she didn’t know that there was a reason to keep going.

Gerard finally stepped a little closer to her, crouching down ahead of where she sat. “Molly?” he murmured.

“Do you think we made a mistake?” Molly whispered softly, her eyes glancing up into his nervously.

Gerard held her stare before he looked away, something which caused Molly to sniff, trying, and failing, to stop her eyes from growing tearful.

At the sound of her sniffle, Gerard flinched before he pushed himself up to his feet again. “I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt, Molly” he murmured.

Molly let out a pained laugh, but didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned and shuffled across the bed, curling up against her pillow with her back facing Gerard. Gerard stared at her, trying to think of something else to say and to fight the urge that he had to wrap his arms around her, before he finally shuffled out of the room, pulling the door closed after himself.