Until You Met Me

Sinking down onto the mattress, Gerard ran his hand over his face, his stare fixed on the half-packed cardboard box that was sat on the floor ahead of him. He should have been done with it sooner. After he had received Ava’s text, telling him that Molly had packed up all of the things that he had left in her apartment, he had told her that she could stop by that afternoon to drop it off, and he had taken it as a sign that he ought to return the favour and pack up the things that Molly had left in his bedroom, a task which had proven to be a lot easier said than done. He didn’t want to do it. He liked how Molly’s things had appeared in his home, and the idea of removing all traces of her had caused the ever present knot in his stomach to grow even tighter, something which meant that the box in front of him wasn’t even close to containing all of her things.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he exhaled a tired sigh before he reluctantly pushed himself back to his feet, slowly ambling around the room to collect a few more of her things. He had thought about calling Molly. After Poppy’s visit, and too long staring at the returned door key that she had left in his hands, he had agonized for days about the prospect of calling Molly and asking her if there was any chance that they could talk, but every time he got even slightly close, he talked himself out of it, reminding himself that he was the reason that they were where they were because of him. Poppy had been right. Molly’s only fault had been being honest about how much he had meant to her, and in response, he had pulled away, and he knew it wasn’t something he could ask her to talk out. He knew that, if she wanted to talk, then he had to allow Molly to take the lead.

Placing Molly’s things into the box, he stared at them for a moment before the sound of the doorbell reached his ears, causing him to glance at his watch. Realizing what the time was, he pushed a tired hand back through his hair before he moved to head down the stairs, opening the front door to Ava who stood outside, a small cardboard box clutched in her hands.

Ava’s eyes looked him up and down a couple of times before she stepped forwards, offering the box out to him. “This is for you” she said.

Gerard hesitated for a second before he took it out of her hands, flashing her a smile that was nowhere near genuine. “Thanks” he replied.

“Have you got Molly’s things?” Ava asked after a long moment of awkward quiet “I could get it back to her” she added.

“Do you have a few minutes?” Gerard asked “I was just finishing packing it up” he added.

Ava nodded her head slowly. “I can help” she said.

“You want to help me?” Gerard asked, his voice soft in surprise “I was half expecting you to throw this box at me” he added.

“I won’t say I wasn’t a little tempted” Ava replied “But, honestly, I kind of want to talk to you. Don’t mistake that for me not being so unbelievably pissed at you for hurting Molly. Can we talk?” she asked.

He wasn’t wrong to be wary. After spending the morning with Molly, and seeing how hurt she was, there was a part of Ava that just wanted to yell at him, to point out how much he had hurt Molly, but she knew that it wouldn’t help. Molly loved him, and as much as Ava hated that she had gotten hurt, she knew that Molly still wanted to work things out with him, something she wanted to try and help with. She just wanted Molly to be happy, and, up until a few days previous, there was no denying that Gerard had made her happy.

Gerard stepped out of the doorway, allowing Ava to step past him. “How is she?” he asked.

Ava, who’d been walking through towards the living room, shook her head. “Did you really just ask that?” she asked “How do you think she is, Gerard? The guy she’s been in love with for who knows how long just broke her heart. Do you want me to tell you that you didn’t do any damage? That she got over you easily?” she added.

“Ava...”

“This is exactly why I tried to warn you off doing this, you know” Ava spoke over him like he hadn’t said a word “Do you remember? When you stepped in for Dani, I warned you about playing with her feelings. I told you that, if you weren’t one hundred percent sure of how you felt about her, then you shouldn’t do it, but you did it anyway, and now look at what you’ve done. You want to know how she is? She’s so hurt, Gerard. She has no idea what she did, or why you two have gone from everything to nothing, and that’s on you. How...”

“Don’t you think I know how badly I screwed this up, Ava?” Gerard interrupted sharply “Do you think I need you to come here and tell me? I know what I did, I know what the consequences are, and nothing you can say will make me feel worse about it” he added.

“Then what the fuck are you going to do to fix it?” Ava pressed, her voice just as sharp.

Gerard blinked.

“She loves you, you idiot” Ava continued, seeing the slightly confused expression that had appeared on Gerard’s face “Did you really think that that would just stop? She’s hurt, obviously, but she loves you, Gerard” she added, her expression softening ever so slightly.

Gerard opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to come up with an answer, something which made Ava sigh. “Do you love her?” she asked.

“I do” Gerard answered without hesitation.

“Then fix it” Ava mused “Don’t just sit here and wait for her to come to you. Don’t tell yourself that she has to make the first move, because she won’t. She thinks that this is what you want. She thinks that you think you two made a mistake, and it is entirely up to you to prove to her that you don’t think that. You have to fix it, not her. Your mess, your problem” she added.

Gerard nodded his head slowly. “I can try” he murmured.

“Don’t try” Ava said “Do it” she added before she turned and walked back towards the front door, slipping out of it.

Gerard stared after her, watching the door swing closed behind her, before he ran his hand over his face, already trying to figure out what his next step ought to be. He didn’t know if he could repair the damage. He had hurt Molly badly, and he didn’t know that that was something he could fix, but he knew that he had to try. He couldn’t let their story end like it had.