Until You Met Me

“Gerard?”

Gerard lifted his head at the sound of his name, his stare darting towards the doorway where he was sure that Molly would appear in only a matter of seconds. He wanted to talk to her. After he had gotten home after his lunch with Cesc, he had spent hours agonizing about what he wanted to tell her and the best way to do it, but now that she was there, all of the words that he had planned out had abandoned him, leaving him more concerned than ever that he was going to say the wrong thing and end up pushing her away. It wasn’t what he wanted. As overwhelmed as he felt at how quickly things seemed to be moving forwards between them, the last thing he wanted was for Molly to think that he didn’t want them to move forwards at all, but he was worried that that was what she would hear. He was worried that she could see his request to just take a step back, to enjoy where they were for a little while before they moved forwards, as him not wanting to move forwards at all.

Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, before he pushed himself to his feet and walked towards the hall. Stopping in the doorway, he propped his shoulder against the frame, watching as Molly took off her shoes before she turned to look up at him, her usual warm smile brightening her features. “You could have just called back” she chirped “I know this place is big, but I would have been able to find you eventually” she added.

Gerard shrugged, his lips quirked in a half-smile. “Have you considered that maybe I was just looking forwards to seeing you?” he teased.

“You saw me this morning” Molly retorted “I don’t think even you could miss me that much in a few hours” she added as she stepped towards him, greeting him with a soft kiss on the cheek.

Gerard smiled softly at the contact before Molly stepped past him, padding into the living room. “How was lunch with Cesc?” she asked “It’s been a while since you two saw each other, right?” she added, sparing him a curious look over her shoulder.

Gerard nodded his head slowly. “It has been” he confirmed “And lunch was nice” he added.

Molly offered him a slightly confused look, a little surprised by his vague answer, but she didn’t press it.

Gerard watched her as she padded around the room, settling into what had quickly become her spot on the sofa, before he shook his head, a hand rubbing at his jaw uncomfortably. He knew that he had to say something, that he had to be honest, and hope that Molly understood where he was coming from, but he knew that once the words were out of his mouth, there was no taking them back. Molly would know that he was overwhelmed, and that he wanted to slow down, and he would see her reaction, whether it was good or bad, and he would know where it left them.

“Are you alright?”

Gerard blinked a couple of times, refocusing on Molly who looked up at him, a soft frown on her face. “Huh?” he spluttered.

“Are you OK?” Molly asked “You look nervous. Is something wrong?” she added.

Gerard opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, half thinking about lying and insisting that he was fine, before he let out a soft sigh. “Can I admit something to you?” he asked.

“Always” Molly replied.

Gerard hesitated for a second before he stepped towards the sofa, settling down into the space at Molly’s side. “I’m worried that once I admit it, you’re going to be upset, and that’s the last thing the I want” he said “I want you to know that I want this. I want to find a place to live together, and I want to get married. I want to do all of the things we’re talking about doing, but I just...I thought we’d have more time” he added, turning to look at her nervously.

Molly’s face didn’t fall like he’d been expecting it too. She didn’t move away from him, or get the look on her face that had appeared when he’d admitted to having doubts about their relationship. She just smiled ever so slightly and moved to twine her fingers through his. “I know what you mean” she said.

“You do?” Gerard asked, his expression soft in surprise.

Molly nodded, the smile on her face growing slightly rueful. “I loved looking at wedding dresses with Pop this morning” she said “It was a lot of fun, but there were also what felt like hundreds of questions that I felt completely unprepared for. The shop assistant wanted to know all sorts of wedding details that I haven’t even thought about yet, and it just...I don’t know? It was exciting, but it was also overwhelming and it made me think that maybe...maybe we should tackle things one at a time. We’re trying to buy a house, and we’re trying to plan a wedding all whilst trying to enjoy being a newly engaged couple, and it’s a lot to do all at the same time. So maybe, I might have been thinking that it might be an idea to take a step back and try and slow things down a little. What do you think?” she asked.

Gerard blinked a couple of times, his thumb gently brushing over her engagement ring, before he nodded his head. “I got scared when you told me that you were going to look at dresses” he admitted “I know it shouldn’t have been a surprise. We had agreed to start planning, and the idea that you were doing just that really shouldn’t have surprised me like that, but it did, and it made me think that...that maybe I need a little more time to settle into being engaged before we start planning. I want to do it, and I want to find a house, but I just...” he trailed off when Molly leant up, pressing her lips to his gently.

Carefully cupping the back of her head, Gerard drew out the kiss for a few moments before he pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers. “Can we slow down a little?” he asked softly.

Molly smiled up at him gently. “We can go as slowly or as quickly as you want” she mused “Just as long as, at the end of it, I am still with you” she added.

Gerard kissed her again. “I’d love nothing more” he murmured.