Until You Met Me

For an excruciatingly long moment, Ava’s office was silent.

Gerard’s question lingered in the air between him and Ava, practically begging for her to have an explanation immediately, but despite the amount of times it looked like she could, she didn’t make a sound. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to force out some kind of word, but whether it was apology or excuse or explanation, it wouldn’t come. She didn’t have an answer. Absolutely nothing she could have said would have changed the moment that had preceded that one, and she and Gerard both knew it. There had been a kiss between Ava, Molly’s best friend, and Gerard, Molly’s fiance, and no words that either of them said was going to change it, or alleviate the weight that both of them felt in their chests.

“Ava” Gerard’s voice was a harsh whisper, caught somewhere between angered and panicked “What the hell was that?” he spat.

Ava squeezed her eyes shut. “I...I don’t know” she spluttered.

“You don’t know?” Gerard pressed incredulously.

“I was trying to tell you something” Ava’s voice was almost a yell “You weren’t listening. I didn’t think” she added.

Gerard let out a pained noise, pacing away from Ava slightly before he rounded on her again, exhaling a shaky breath as he tried his hardest to compose himself. “I am sorry if I ever did anything to make you think that there was something between us” he said “But I can assure you now, there’s never been anything between me and you. The only connection we have is that we both are close to Molly. That’s all it is. You’re Molly’s friend” he added.

Ava blinked. “Not even before Molly?” she asked “Before Jack? I thought...”

“Not even then” Gerard interrupted “Ava, you’re Molly’s best friend. I was just being nice” he added.

Ava sunk back against her desk, her eyes glassy with tears, before she buried her face in her hands.

Gerard watched her for a moment before he shook his head, clearing his throat slightly. “Ava?” he asked.

Ava slowly looked up at him. “What are we going to do?” she whispered “If...If Molly finds out what happened, she’s going to...” she trailed off with a soft sob.

Gerard nodded his head wordlessly. He knew what Ava meant. If Molly knew what had transpired between him and Ava, she was going to be devastated, but he didn’t know that there was a way to avoid it. He knew just how easily one of him or Ava could let something slip out by mistake, and that the pain that Molly felt would only be made worse if she found out that they had both been keeping it from her.

“Are you...are you going to tell her?” Ava asked.

Gerard exhaled a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think I have to” he replied “If we kept it from her, and one of us let something slip...”

“I am not going to let anything slip” Ava interjected insistently.

“Ava...”

“She will never forgive me for this” Ava cut him off again “Gerard, I know I have done a really terrible job of showing it lately, but Molly is my best friend. I love her, and I can’t bare the thought of losing her. I know how much I am asking of you right now, especially since it is my mistake in the first place, but can you...you maybe not tell her?” she pleaded.

Gerard’s eyes searched her face for a moment before he shook his head, diverting his stare down towards the floor. “I can’t lie to her” he said.

“Gerard...”

“You think I want to go home and tell her that this happened?” Gerard snapped “You think I want to admit that I ignored the advice she gave me about not sticking my nose into things, and that this is how it ended up? She is going to be hurt, Ava. Whether I go home and tell her, or one of us breaks down in a few weeks and tells her, or if one of us lets it slip by accident. There is no way that this stays a secret” he added, his voice growing softer.

Ava wanted to argue. She even got as far as opening her mouth, but the words never came. Instead, she shrunk back against her desk again, once more burying her face in her hands.

Gerard watched her, listening to the sound of her crying, before he shook his head. “I am going to go” he murmured.

Ava lowered her hands. “Can you tell her that I am sorry?” she whispered “I’d say it myself, but...” she trailed off when Gerard offered her a pained smile. They both knew what the likely outcome of Gerard’s telling Molly was. Her friendship with Ava had been on the ropes for a while, and the idea that she had kissed Molly’s fiance was likely to be the final blow for it.

“I’ll tell her” Gerard said.

“I’m sorry” Ava mused “For this...this whole thing. I just thought that there was something. I thought that maybe I had been wrong about the way you looked at Molly, but I know now that I wasn’t. You love her” she added.

Gerard nodded his head, still not quite able to shake the weight in his chest. “I do” he replied “I think I have for a lot longer than I have admitted” he added.

Ava’s answering smile was pained, as was the one that Gerard replied with before he slowly made his way towards the door. Stepping out into the hall, he pulled the door closed against after himself before he leant against the wall next to it, exhaling a shuddering sigh. He knew that he was going to do the right thing. He and Ava had kissed, and no matter how hard they worked to hide it, the risk was too great that they’d let something slip, something that would only end up hurting Molly more, but he couldn’t swallow the dread in his throat. He knew how hurt Molly would be, and he hated that there was nothing he could to stop it from happening.