Until You Met Me

Letting his bag drop out of his hand, Gerard ran his other hand over his face, irked with himself for being surprised by the silence that still filled the house. He kept hoping that it would be different. Every time he had come home in the week that had passed since Molly had asked space, there had been a tiny flicker of hope in chest that he would find her there, waiting to tell him that she had figured everything out and was ready to come home, but every time he was greeted with the same echoing silence and the same twisting sensation in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t just going to happen. He knew that Molly wasn’t just going to appear without warning and tell him that everything was going to be alright, and he hated himself for getting his hopes up. It only led to him getting hurt over and over again.

Exhaling a frustrated sigh, he shuffled his bag out of the way of the door before he heard the stairs creak, something which caused him to look up.

Poppy, who was halfway down the steps, felt her heart break for him when she saw his face fall. It was all to clear that she wasn’t who he wanted her to be, and the pain on his face when he realized it was painful for her to see. “Sorry” she said softly “Molly said you’d not be back for a while. I can go” she added.

Gerard shook his head, trying his hardest to force a polite smile. “It’s fine” he said.

Poppy nodded her head slowly. “She just wanted some clothes” she said, breaking the heavy silence that had filled the room.

“Is she staying with you now?” Gerard asked, his stare fixed on the floor. Poppy and Molly didn’t look a lot alike, but the resemblance was still enough that it meant that looking at Molly’s older sister hurt.

“She is” Poppy confirmed “Albert was happy for her to stay as long as she wanted, but she didn’t want to impose. His apartment is pretty small, and she thought she was getting in the way. She called me a couple of days ago and moved into my spare bedroom last night” she added.

“Moved in?” Gerard meant it as a joke, an attempt to lift the stifling awkwardness that existed between him and Poppy, but his tone was too hurt. Instead of earning a half-hearted smile, he watched as Poppy flinched, immediately regretting the way she had phrased what she had said.

“I didn’t...”

“It’s fine, Pop” Gerard interrupted gently “I know what you meant” he added.

Poppy deflated a little, glancing around the room like it held the answer about what to say next, something which caused Gerard to sigh before he pointed at the bag that she had dropped onto the step ahead of her. “Did she ask for anything specific?” he asked “I could help you find it” he added.

Poppy smiled. “She did say something about a favourite work dress” she quipped.

“It’s blue and white” Gerard replied without hesitation “It looks like a separate top and a skirt, but it’s a dress. It should be near the front in the wardrobe. It how things are organized in there. The stuff she actually wears at the front, other stuff pushed towards the back” he added, chuckling a little to himself as he remembered arguing with Molly about it as they had unpacked their things in their new bedroom.

“Can you show it to me?” Poppy asked.

Gerard nodded his head wordlessly before he shuffled up the stairs towards the bedroom, Poppy trailing after him. Padding across the room, he pulled the door to the wardrobe open and fished the dress out, offering it out to Poppy who stood behind him. “Anything else?” he asked.

Poppy gently pried the hanger out of his fingers before she looked up at him. “Pyjamas” she said “Underwear” she added.

Gerard offered her another silent nod before he started to walk around the room, retrieving the things she had asked for.

“She misses you”

Gerard’s hands fumbled with the clothes he was holding, partially surprised by the sudden sound of Poppy’s voice, but also by what she had said.

Poppy smiled sadly. “She told me not to say anything” she continued “You know how she is” she added.

“Stubborn” Gerard quipped as he padded back towards the bed, folding the clothes into the bag.

Poppy nodded.

“I miss her, too” Gerard said after a moment of quiet “But I don’t think that there’s anything I can do about it. I told her what happened, and she said that she needed space, and I am trying my best to give it to her. I’d give anything to have her back here, Pop, but the longer she isn’t, the harder it is to imagine that she will be some day. I don’t know what to do. If I did, I would have done it already” he added.

Poppy twisted her fingers in her sleeve, a mannerism so similar to Molly that Gerard couldn’t help but look away from her again.

“Is she OK?” Gerard asked, focussing on the pyjama t-shirt in his hands.

“Depends how you define ‘OK’” Poppy answered “She’s not herself, but she goes to work and she spent last night catching up with me and Felipe like everything was normal” she added.

Gerard sighed gently, pushing a hand back through his hair. “Her engagement ring...” he trailed off when Poppy ducked her head, trying, and failing, to hide the look of sympathy on her face.

Exhaling a slightly shaky breath, he took a moment to digest what Poppy had confirmed without saying a word, before he let out a sad laugh. “This really is serious, huh?” he chirped.

Poppy gently wrapped her hand around his wrist, squeezing it softly. “She just needs some time, Gerard” she said gently “I know it’s the last thing you want to hear right now...”

“This isn’t my fault, Pop” Gerard’s voice was sharp as he cut in “I was just trying to help, and what did I get for that? Molly isn’t here. She isn’t wearing the engagement ring I gave to her. I haven’t seen her in a week, and I don’t know when, or if, I am actually going to see her again. I want to give her the time and space she needs, but that is hard when I know this isn’t my mistake. What’s happened to Ava? Has she actually faced any kind of consequence? How come my life goes to shit, and she’s fine?” he pressed.

Poppy didn’t say anything. It was clear that Gerard just needed to get it off of his chest.

Gerard sighed at her silence, shaking his head apologetically. “Sorry” he muttered “I just...I miss her and I don’t know what to do about it. Unless Ava talks to her, tells her that it’s her problem and not mine, I just...I don’t see it working, and that’s pretty hard to get my head around. A week ago, we were preparing to start planning a wedding and now it’s just done” he added before he padded away from the bed, muttering something about a pair of shoes Molly loved.

Poppy watched him walk away before she glanced over at the opposite wall, studying the picture of Molly and Gerard that hung there. She knew that Gerard wasn’t wrong. The longer that Molly stayed away, the harder it would be for them to pick up where they’d left off, but she also knew that there was only one way that things were going change, and that was if Ava owned up to what had happened and reassured Molly that Gerard only had eyes for Molly.