Until You Met Me

Twisting her fingers in the material of her jumper’s sleeve, Molly rested her shoulder against the living room doorway, her stare settled on Gerard who was sat on the sofa, trying to say goodnight to his parents so that he could end their video call. She knew what was coming when it ended. After the way that that had left things prior to dinner with her family, she knew that they had both been waiting for a moment where they had been entirely alone to pick up where they had left off, but whilst she didn’t like that they had left the conversation unfinished, she didn’t quite know what she would say when it started again.

She hadn’t noticed that things had changed. She hadn’t realised that she had stopped dropping subtle hints, or that their parents had stopped dropping unsubtle ones, but when Gerard had pointed it out, it had quickly become obvious to her that he was right. She couldn’t remember the last time that her mother had enquired about a date, or she had found herself sitting at lunch, talking to Sofia about a wedding magazine that was settled between them, and she knew when it had stopped. For a moment, after Gerard had told her what had happened between him and Ava, Molly had really doubted that they were going to be able to fix things, and as happy as she was that they had, it hadn’t stopped the tiny nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her that it was still too good to be true.

“Molly?”

Molly blinked a couple of times, refocussing on Gerard who looked up at her, a tired smile on his face. “Huh?” she spluttered.

Gerard tipped his head towards the computer. “My parents want to say goodnight” he said.

Molly shuffled towards the sofa and sat down in front of the camera, offering Gerard’s parents a warm smile. “It was good to talk to you” she said “And thank you for the gifts. They were really lovely” she added.

“Thank you for ours” Montserrat mused “I assume you picked them” she added.

Molly laughed, shaking her head. “It was a team effort” she said.

“I told you” Gerard chirped impishly.

Montserrat rolled her eyes good-naturedly before Molly let out a yawn, something which made the older woman smile gently. “I’ll let you go” she said “Goodnight, you two” she added.

“I’ll call soon” Gerard said “Night, mama” he added before the call ended.

For a few moments, both Molly and Gerard stared at the laptop screen, wordlessly willing the other to break the silence that had settled between them before Gerard leant forwards and closed the laptop down. Leaning back into the sofa, he lifted his arm up, wordlessly encouraging Molly to settle against his side. He didn’t want it to feel like a confrontation. The conversation that he had started in Molly’s childhood bedroom wasn’t intended to be a fight, and he wanted Molly to know it. He just wanted to know what was going on, and if there was anything he could do to help make it better.

Molly hesitated for a moment, her expression slightly uncertain, before she moved into the space next to him.

Gerard’s arm settled around her shoulders, his hand squeezing her arm gently. “What’s going on?” he asked.

Molly reached her hand up, tangling her fingers with his. “Honestly?” she asked.

Gerard leant over, kissing the top of her head softly. “I just want to know what’s going on” he said “Whatever it is” he added.

“I didn’t notice that they’d stopped” Molly admitted after a moment of quiet “Not until you said it earlier, but now you’ve said it, it’s really obvious. I don’t know why my parents have stopped, or yours, but I...I think I know why I am hesitating” she added.

Gerard squeezed her fingers gently. “Ava” he murmured.

Molly’s answer was a slightly hesitant nod.

“We’re not as OK as I think we are, are we?” Gerard asked.

“I wouldn’t say that” Molly argued gently “I think we’re in a good place. We talked, we figured things out, and I think that the last couple of months have been good, but there’s this little voice at the back of my head that keeps telling me that this is...It’s too good to be true. For a moment, I really thought that we’d messed this up beyond the point of fixing it, but we hadn’t, and we’re here, but there’s just this little part of me that’s worried that if we try and push it forwards...”

“Then it’ll break all over again” Gerard finished for her.

Molly reluctantly nodded her head.

For a moment, Gerard didn’t say anything. He watched Molly’s fingers, which were twisted in the sleeve of her jumper, before he glanced back up at her face. “We don’t know that that will happen” he said gently.

“Gerard...”

“I understand why you’re worried” Gerard interjected, cutting off her protests “And honestly, there’s a part of me that’s worried, too. We both know that we have hit a lot of bumps since we started this, and there’s no guarantee that we won’t hit another one, but slowing things down isn’t going to prevent it from happening if it is going to happen. I know that I love you, I know that that isn’t going to change, and I know that I am not really one to talk about not slowing things down when I have asked you to do it so many times before, but I really don’t think that hesitating is going to change anything. We don’t know what is going to happen next” he added.

He understood her hesitance. What had happened with Ava had followed a series of bumps that they had hit, and he could understand why they had made her apprehensive about what was to come next, but he wanted her to realise that they didn’t know what was going to come next, and that slowing things down and hesitating about things that, a couple of months ago, she had been so excited about, wasn’t going to change anything. Whether they slowed down or not, they still wouldn’t be able to see what was going to happen next before it happened.

“You’re not scared?” Molly asked.

Gerard shook his head. “I’m always scared that we’re going to lose this” he answered “But I still want to keep trying. Where we are is nice, but where we’re going, it’s got the potential to be amazing and I think it is worth the risk” he added.

Molly chewed on her lip, her eyes studying his face, before, finally, a small slow smile brightened her features. “You know I have been waiting for you to get excited about wedding planning for months, right?” she prodded.

“Well, you’ve finally got what you wanted” Gerard quipped, slipping the business card that Poppy had given to him out of his pocket and placing it onto Molly’s knee.

Molly grinned down at it. “We’re planning a wedding, then” she said.

Gerard pressed his lips to her temple. “Yeah” he murmured “We are” he added.