Falling From Grace

{Katrina aka Kat's POV}

"Fuck, not again." I looked around at my surroundings, the entire room was blurry and spinning. "Fuck. What the fuck happened?" I heard a hoarse voice come above me as I tried to focus. That's right, I went to a party and got ditched last night. Then I ended up coming home with Zena's brother's friend Matt and then we ended up having a party of our own. I felt around some, suddenly feeling a pair of strong arms tightly wrapped around my frame. Oh that's right, he wanted to get a little frisky but the drugs wouldn't let it happen so instead I had to babysit until he came down enough to fall asleep. What a shame that was, I was really hoping to have some more fun with him too besides the kissing and cheap feel up. "Oh shit. Shouldn't you be in school? What the fuck did we do last night? Please tell me we didn't fuck." I close my eyes and sigh deeply. Well I guess now was as good a time as ever to get up. I took one look up at him and all I saw was a blob. Or not. "Calm down dude, I can't even see straight yet." His heart is thumping hard in his chest but he's still gripping onto me none the less.

Off in the distance I can hear my phone buzzing from my bag. Shit, it had to either be Zena or my parent's. "Shit, I guess I can let that go to voicemail." I'm rubbing and practically clawing at my eyes to try and gain a clear vision but it's pretty much useless at that point. "Can you see clearly?" I was going to have to at least ingest a good gram before I could get my brain back on track. "I guess. What do you want?" I instruct for him to find any remnants of the blow and to pass it my way. He slides out from underneath me before digging through what I'm assuming to be my backpack. Within a few minutes, I can feel him hand me a rolled up dollar bill. He helps keep my hand steadied as I snort up actually a generous amount. I guess we didn't do it all last night, what a shock. Almost instantly the high hits and I can feel the rush, my vision is clearing and I feel like rambling on for the next hour. Instead, I get up from his bed and begin to hunt for my phone. I had ten missed calls and fourteen texts. Most from Zena asking if I was alive and only one from my Dad, saying that they would be calling the school to see if I made it. Fuck. Too late for that one.

My fingers are completely numb as I type away furiously on the keypad to Zena about what happened last night.

KitKat: Zena! I'm alive! You'll never guess where I am.
ZenaBear: I'm assuming at some random dude's house?
KitKat: Harsh. No, not just any random dude. I'm with Matt.
ZenaBear: WHAT?! MY BROTHER'S FRIEND MATT?! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
KitKat: Uh..he took me home from that party but nothing happened, I swear.
ZenaBear: Wow. I g2g I'm in class. We need to talk!

Well, that was not what I was expecting to happen. "You know you still didn't answer my question. What happened with us last night?" He's sitting on the edge of his bed with one hand resting under his chin while the other is fidgeting away. Clearly, he's quite concerned about this but frankly I was too high to really give a shit. "Nothing happened. You got a little excited with the coke but we only made out. You couldn't handle the buzz in the end and asked me to lay with you til you fell asleep. Scouts honor, I swear." He lets out an exasperated sigh before running his hands up and down his face. "Thanks for not taking advantage of me, I guess?" I let out a giggle, but try my best to keep it together. "You're welcome although truth be told, you're a lot of fun to hangout with and a great kisser." That was the only issue I had whenever I was on a good one, the word vomit. He gets off of the edge before coming close to me. I wasn't sure what to do at that point so I just stood there awkwardly. He reaches up a hand and puts it to my cheek, giving it a light stroke. Uh oh.

"Look Kat, you're a crazy chick and fucking cute as hell but you're my best friend's little sister's friend. I know you're not a kid, clearly, I can see that. But I don't think in all good conscious I could do this shit with you again." Ouch, talk about another low blow. My mind was trying hard to comprehend what exactly he was saying but again, the lovely intoxication of the drugs didn't let that fully sink in. I just shrugged my shoulders in response which obviously didn't seem to convincing to him. "Hey, Kat. Are you listening to me? We can't hangout. I don't want anyone to know about this." I again just shrug before reaching for my bag and hoisting it over my shoulder. "Yeah, I hear you. I gotta go, thanks again Matt." I don't wait for a reply or to see if he's following after, I simply wander through the house before I reach the front door and close it gently behind me. High or not, I knew he meant that we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore. At least, not in that type of situation. I had absolutely no idea where I was going to go, school and home definitely weren't an option. So against my better judgement, I headed to the park.

The place was basically empty with the exceptions of a few people jogging or walking their dogs throughout the various pathways. This was the perfect place to hideout for the next few hours until school was out and I could head back without any problems. I trudged through the thick brush and settled on a spot in a clearing that was covered by various leaves and bushes. It looked like someone had been here before, noting the tons of empty beer bottles and cigarette butts everywhere. I looked at my phone, seeing it was only ten o clock in the fucking more. Only five more hours to go until the homestretch. I laid down on a lonely log before promptly shutting my eyes. The comedown was going to be happening any minute and I didn't feel like dealing with it. I probably wasn't going to sleep but at least I was going to be semi comfortable while I crashed.

Just as I was about to drift off into what felt like a really good dream, the sounds of feet heading in my direction jolted me from my foggy state. They were growing closer by the minute and before I could even grab my bag to leave, I was face to face with the bodies they were connected to. It was Zena's brother Zack and his friends Brian and Jimmy. They were equally surprised to see me as I was to see them, that was for sure. "Hey! What're you doin in our spot kid?" I dusted off my backside before again slinging my bag over my shoulder for the second trip of the day. "I was just leaving, don't worry guys." But before I can get anywhere, I'm instantly stopped by Zack. "Kat, you can stay, he was just teasing you. Actually, shouldn't you be in school?" I couldn't help but to snort at that comment. Wasn't it obvious by now that wasn't my ideal place to be? "No, I've had a long night if you can't tell." He looks me up and down before passing over a cigarette. "I figured. Sit, stay a while." I do as he insists and sit back on the log I had previously been occupying seconds ago.

Brian is passing around 40oz bottles of Mickey's beer to both Zack and Jimmy and as tempted as I was, I politely decline the offer. "Suit yourself, kid." My blood was slightly boiling more each time they referred to me as that but I wasn't about to let them know that. "So I heard you know how to be the life of the party, huh?" Jimmy speaks up this time and I laugh but shake my head some. I guess word travels fast in this town. "Well I sure know how to liven up your parties, if that's what you mean." He raises a questioning brow at me before reaching into his pocket and tossing over a bag of what looked to be magic mushrooms at me. You have got to be kidding me. "Really? Shrooms? That's the best you've got?" He fakes a heart attack, before shooting a glare in my direction. "Guys! Are you really going to let this little human talk about my stash like that?!" I couldn't help but to laugh rather loudly as Zack and Brian follow suit. "She's kinda right Jim, Kat can party her fucking head off. I watched her snort like five grams of blow in a single line."

Somehow, the way that sounded, made me feel like a complete loser rather than some type of winner. "It's true, at your party the other night, she fucking knocked back a whole bottle of vodka and then a whole eight ball. She's legendary." Again, clearly not something that I should proud of or honored by. My stomach is starting to sour as the guys continue to brag about my habits so I smoke the cigarette all the way down to the filter before I can feel my teeth start to grind next. I was seriously needing a bump, but I wasn't about to act like a fiend in front of people. It was bad enough I had made a clear wrong impression on Matt, now I didn't want to make an ass out of myself in front of Zack either. "Hey, are you alright?" I'm shaken from my thoughts by a nudge in my side. "Kat? Are you good? You look like you're about to be sick." I'm unable to answer as indeed, I do become sick, and proceed to puke all over the place. Right in front of everyone, right on myself. Fuck fuck fuck. Why does everything happen to me?