Something's Gotta Give

Jade's Point of View

“ARE YOU FUCKING READY?!” Jack yelled as he slid down the bannister a few mornings later. I really hoped this wasn’t about to become a habit, but knowing Jack, it probably would be. I made a mental note to string some garland along the railing to hopefully prevent further incidents.

“No, I’m not.” I winced at his loudness, taking a sip of my coffee. You would think I would have adjusted to Jack’s constant high volume over the last twenty-four years, but it always threw me first thing in the morning. “And I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Can I just get a half hour of peace and fucking quiet in the morning?”

“Not when we have Christmas shopping to do!” Jack replied. He planted himself next to me on the couch with such force it made my coffee almost swish over the rim of my cup. “Besides, you need to get out of your room.”

As predicted, the true weight of Jay having cheated on me hit me after we’d gotten home from Skye and Alex’s last week. I’d spent the past few days primarily in bed, unable to find the will to get up with the exception of when we’d had Kendall over. The idea of walking around a house that Jay and I were supposed to live in together depressed the living shit out of me. I should have sold it instead, but we were all moved in and it was too late to do anything about it. I was not about to re-pack up an entire house that I’d just unpacked and do it all over again.

“I’m out of my room right now, aren’t I?” I said. “Besides, I don’t remember you saying anything about Christmas shopping.”

“I did,” Jack said defensively. “I might have whispered it under your door while you were sleeping so you couldn’t protest, but I definitely mentioned it.”

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Jack. “Fine, I’ll go. But I’m going to hate every second of it.”

“So glad to see you’re in the Christmas spirit!” Jack teased.

He allowed me to finish my coffee in relative peace, save for humming that stupid “I was born to love you” song that Chevy Chase sings in Caddyshack while he scrolled on his phone. When I was done, I took a quick shower, did my makeup, and got dressed. I made my way downstairs (by foot, not ass on the bannister) and Jack was putting his coat on.

“I texted Skye to see if she and Alex want to come with us, so we’ll have to swing by to pick them up,” Jack said.

“Skye got Alex out of his room?” I asked. That was surprising. From what she’d told me, she’d barely seen him since his failed proposal.

“Well, let’s just say she’s working on it,” he said. “Hopefully she can, otherwise I’m gonna need to take some drastic measures.”

“I don’t even want to know what those are,” I told him, slipping my own coat on and grabbing my car keys. As a rule, Jack was never allowed to drive me or the rest of us around because none of us wanted to die by way of fiery car explosion, which was sure to happen with him behind the wheel. “Let’s go.”

About half an hour later, we were all at the mall. Skye had managed to convince Alex to reluctantly join us, but he looked totally wrecked, like he hadn’t slept since I’d last seen him. For all I knew, he hadn’t. Once we arrived, we decided to split up between guys and girls so we could shop for each other, and then reconvene at the food court in about an hour to mix our groups up again. While Jack and Alex went their way, Skye and I walked along, brainstorming what to get the guys.

“Your brother is so hard to shop for,” Skye said. “I literally never know what to get him.”

“You think? He’s super thrilled to get anything. He always loves whatever you get him,” I told her. “Whenever I’m stuck on what to get him, I try to come up with the absolute stupidest gift I can think of that will make him laugh.”

“I forget, what’d you get him last year?” she asked.

“You know that picture of him from, like, Warped Tour or whatever where his neck is super scrunched up and he’s making that stupid face?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I sent it to one of those websites where you can have people paint a portrait out of a picture you send them, and he loved it,” I said. “Which maybe wasn’t a great idea, because now it’s hanging in the guest bathroom across from the toilet, so he stares at you while you’re going to the bathroom. It’s haunting.”

Skye laughed. “Sounds very on-brand for Jack.”

“Anyway, you know he’s happier giving presents than anything,” I said. “And like I said, he always loves what you get for him, so I wouldn’t stress too hard about it.”

While we walked through the mall, we talked back and forth about what to get everyone for Christmas and firmed up plans for Christmas Eve. Since Kellin would have Kendall on Christmas Eve, we’d have to have another mini-Christmas celebration for her on a weekend when she was at Skye’s. We both got a bit of shopping done before it was time to meet the guys at the food court.

We had a quick, uneventful lunch and decided on how we were going to split up. This time, it would be Skye and Jack shopping together while I went with Alex. After we cleared our table, we divided again. Alex and I headed to the bookstore so we could pick out some books for Kendall and maybe find one or two for Skye. The two of us were silent as we walked, and the quiet was unnerving.

“So how’ve you been doing?” I asked him, desperate for something to say.

“Not great,” he said, his tone flat. “What about you?”

“Also not great,” I answered. I hated to admit it, but the news had rattled me more than I thought it would. “Jack kind of forced me out today.”

“Yeah, Skye did, too,” he said. “Think they were in cahoots together?”

I scoffed. “Possibly. Who knows with them?”

We didn’t say any more about it as we walked, instead brainstorming exactly what we wanted to get for Kendall and Skye once we got to the bookstore. Inside the store, we figured it would be more time efficient for one of us to look in the kids’ section and for the other to check out the adult fiction. I volunteered to search the kids’ section since we both agreed it might look slightly weird for an adult man in the store with no child to be looking through that area.

About fifteen minutes later, I had a few books loaded into my basket when I looked over and saw Alex walking towards me.

“Oh, there you are!” he said brightly, a complete one-eighty from the dull, unenthused way he’d been speaking all day. It was a nice change, but still, strange, and made even stranger by the fact that he was approaching me with his arms out like he was about to hug me.

I was about to quip that I hadn’t been aware that I was missing, but he quickly closed the space between us, put his arms around me in an embrace, and kissed me right on the lips. It caught me completely off-guard, and I could feel my face twist in confusion.

A few seconds later, he ended the kiss, but kept hugging me. My instinct was to push him off of me and ask him exactly what the fuck he thought he was doing, but the way he was holding me coupled with everything I was carrying made it nearly impossible.

“What the-” I started to ask, but he shushed me.

“Sorry, but just go with me on this for a second,” he whispered. “Can you just pretend to be my girlfriend for, like, ten minutes? I swear, I’d owe you for eternity.”

“Why do I need to pretend to be your girlfriend?” I asked, keeping my voice down.

“Because Isabel just walked in, and I don’t want her to think she totally wrecked me.”

“So you want to use me to make her jealous?”

“Sort of. I guess so, yeah.”

“Alex-”

He cut me off again. “Just ten minutes! And then you can punch me for kissing you, if you want.”

“Fine,” I relented. “But ten minutes, and ten minutes only. I’m not kidding. And also, stop hugging me because the bags are cutting off circulation in my arms.”

“Got it,” he said, and let go of me. Alex stuck close as I finished picking stuff out for Kendall and while we looked for a book for Skye. He didn’t kiss me anymore, thank God, but he held my hand as we walked around.

I was almost starting to think he’d been imagining things since I hadn’t seen Isabel the whole time we were in the store, but I finally got a glimpse of her as we were checking out. She was near the front of the store looking at the new releases. She was pretending to not notice Alex and me, but I caught her looking at us while Alex pulled out his wallet. We made eye contact for the briefest of seconds, and she quickly looked away, embarrassed to have been caught.

Just to rub it in a bit more, I kissed Alex on the cheek as we were walking out, right where I could make sure she’d see. We walked a little further into the mall, hands joined, and as soon as we were out of the line of sight from the bookstore, we dropped them.

“Was she mad?” Alex asked eagerly.

“Oh, she was definitely bothered,” I said with a laugh. “I hate to say it, but I think that worked.”

We laughed again and high-fived, and then Alex stood with his arms out. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“For what?”

“To get punched.”

“Oh. Nah, I’m not gonna do that.”

“Really?”

“Really,” I said. “But if we’re ever in a similar situation and I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, you’d better do it, no questions asked.”

“Deal,” Alex agreed. “Should we spit-shake on it?”

“What? No. Eww.” My face contorted in disgust. “We’re absolutely not doing that. But one other thing.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Don’t ever just walk up to me and kiss me again without warning, or I will rip your testicles from your body.”

Alex nodded, looking terrified. “Understood.”