Death, Love and Family

The second I heard the door open I shot out of my seat and rushed to the front door. The first person through the door was Zacky he looked upset but for the most part he seemed to be the strongest of the guys. Jimmy and Johnny were next they had to hold the other up because they were drunk and depressed. Then came the worst Matt and Brian, both of them walked in arms around each others shoulders keeping each other together even though they were both falling apart.

Both of them had tears running down their cheeks, falling from the red blood shot eyes. It broke my heart even more to see two of my best friends and two of the strongest men I know falling apart, their hearts ripping at the seams. I ran to them both and wrapped my arms around them only to have them both collapse on me each wrapping an arm around me and squeezing me tightly. They cried on my shoulders and I rubbed their backs whispering in their ears "Shush..............calm down sweets it's gonna be alright........we're gonna get through this some how I promise....everythings gonna be alright."

Not two seconds later Amy and Sara ran around the corner. Amy came over to Matt and Sara came over to Brian. I called in Thor and Cam to help drag them out to the living room where they could sit.

Once Thor had set Matt down on the love seat I sat on one side of him as Amy sat on the other. She wrapped her arms around her brother and held him as he cried for his wife.

I rubbed his back and kissed his forehead as I got up to go check on everyone else. I looked at Amy who had tears in her own eyes, seeing her brother like this tore her up not to mention Val was her sister in law but might have well have been a blood sister. She and I locked eyes and she nodded slightly telling me she had control of him at least for the time being. I bent down and kissed his forehead again "I'll be right back hun." I said before walking over to Brian who was being comforted by Sara.

Sara looked up at me with tears threatening to fall from her eyes and manage a slight smile and a nod. I gave her a quick half smile then bent down so I could talk to Brian.

I crouched in front of him brushed the hair out of his face, I cupped my hand under his chin and moved his head up so he was looking at me. I said "Brian sweeite, hey...it's gonna be alright.......we're all gonna make it through this ok.......we're all here for you!"

He looked at me with his sorrow filled brown eyes the sparkle of life was gone from the they no longer held that querky twinkle. He nodded, I moved my hand to cup his cheek he leaned into my touch as I wiped his tears away "I miss her and Val, Niki!" he whispered sadly.

I nodded and blinked the tears away, I said "I know you do hun, I miss them too........we just gotta stick together now and we'll make it though........and hun don't ever forget they'll always be watching over us........they will always be in here."I put my hand over his heart "Always in our hearts." He nodded again and leaned on Sara for support.

I stood up and kissed the top of his head then Sara's cause she's wasn't in much better shape then he was. Michelle and Sara we much like Val and I. They we're insepereable, they were best friends attached at the hip, like sisters.

I sighed and walked towards Johnny and Jimmy. Leana was sitting in Jimmys lap comforting him as best she could while still trying to hold herself together as well. I put a hand on either of their shoulders squeezing breifly before hugging them both tightly. Jimmy was a mess Val was the one to take him in when he need the most help she took care of him when he couldn't take care of himself so her .........................death tooks its toal on him pretty harshly. Leana had become one of our group she was like a sister to us always the one to cheer us up but even she had lost her spark. I kissed their foreheads before walking to Johnny and Lacey. To Johnny Val was a sort of mother figure in the begining. She always took care of him on tour and made sure the guys didn't beat him up too bad so loosing her was like loosing a mother to him. He had bypast the sorrow and was now in shock, he had slipped into a different world in his head so he could escape the pain of reality. I wrapped my arms around them both and hugged them tightly "Niki, I don't know what's wrong with him he hasn't said a word to me." Lasey said to me freaking out slightly.

I squeezed her tightly and said letting go of her "It's alright sweetie he's in shock, just let him stay there for a bit he dosen't need to feel this pain right now Val was like a mother to him..........let him escape reality for a bit and just be there for him when he snaps out of it ok?"

She nodded and leaned her head against my chest saying "Thank you Nik I don't know what's we'd do with out you................oh the Berry brothers went over to Matt's to get some of his stuff so he could stay with you or Brian where ever he's staying they didn't think it was gonna be a good idea to leave him alone in that house."

I nodded understanding why they would think that. I sighed and kissed her and Johnny on the head before walking into the kitchen to get something to drink. When I got in there I found Zack leaning against the counter. "Hey Zacky." I said dully. I wasn't very cheery at the mommet, I was actually competley destressed. Zack walked up to me and hugged him tight to his chest.

"Hey Niki, how are you holding up?" he asked.

I just shook my head against his chest and said "Well I'm hanging in there for everyone else but to tell you the truth I'm a complete mess.........................Zacky they were my best friends.........................why............. why did Val and Shelly have to go?" I asked him finally letting the held in tears fall from my eyes.

He gently rubbed my back and said in tears himself "I don't know sweetheart........................I don't know but I miss them...so much," he took a deep breath and let it out stopping his tears he pulled back and wiped mine from my face "Val loved you like a sister you know and she would want you to be strong right now especially for Matt...................................do you remember what she told you a few years ago at their wedding?"

I nodded and said "Yeah, she told me that if anything ever happened to her that she wanted me to take care of Matt for her and make sure he didn't do anything stupid...................and when he moved on she told me to make sure that he didn't choose some random girl that he chose some one he fell in love with.....I have to be strong for her and for Matt he needs me................Zack I don't know if I can do this."

He wiped away the new tears that were forming and said "Hush now, I know you can do this Niki. Val knew you could do it and thats why she asked you to, she would never ask you to do something she knew you couldn't do............here take a shot of JD then go back out there and comfort him cause god knows he needs it."

He handed me a double shot glass filled with Jack Daniels which I shot back and sighed as the amber liqud slightly burned down my throat. I hugged him again and said "Thanks Zack I needed that...........are you gonna be ok? Is Gena here some where?"

He nodded and said "Yeah she is in the bathroom cleaning herself up."

I nodded again and said "Alright.......I'll see you soon then?"

He smiled sadly the smile not reaching his eyes and nodded just as Gena came out of the restroom. I walked out of the Kitchen and back to Matt. I spent the rest of that night cradeling him as he weapt. He fell asleep with his head resting in my lap, I was brushing his hair back, as short as it was, it always made him sleepy and as long as he was asleep he was free of pain. I sighed as looked down at him "I'm here for you Matthew, no matter what I promise Val that I'd be there for you if anything ever happened and I'm keeping my promise but please just please don't give up on me. Things are gonna be hard but we can make it through you're going to have to be strong, I already lost her I can't loose you too, I don't know what'd I'd do if I lost you too."

I leand down to kissed his forehead and I heard him whisper "You won't loose me Niki."