Where Did You Come From?

"I'm so fucking excited we got both of you. This show is gonna be great. When did you get into town?" Howard asked as we sat on the leather sofa in front of him, headphones on and mic in our face.

"Uhh... twenty minutes ago?" Norm answered, rubbing his face nervously. When he told me interviews mess with his anxiety he wasn't lying.

"And to clarify for the listeners- you worked all day right?"

"Yeah- we were in the woods getting eaten by mosquitoes all freaking day!" I exclaimed laughing. "We shot till god... three a.m. then were back on set at seven. Its been wild."

"Ok D... been dying to ask and I'm so excited to be the first... how did this happen? Got a thing for crossbows and bikes? This story blew up so quick" Howard asked as I looked over at Norm who was laughing as he put an arm around my back.

"Umm... yeah. It just... its good. We are happy. Well... I am. We share a ton of common interests. We are just both pretty private people." I shared with a smile.

"And then someone shot you!" He exclaimed and I nodded. "But you're okay now though?" I nodded again.

"Tis a scratch..." I joked.

"The news articles all said it was an obsessed fan- shot at Norman and his girlfriend, you, took the bullet. The love on social media was insane. You had fans of the show, of his, of yours...." he chuckled as he contuined; "... Jesus the support from the whole rock community. They covered it hard. You had people like Sharon Osborne talking about this on her show. Jimmy Kimmel.."

"We heard. We are very thankful for all this support. I feel like we need to go on a thank you tour." Norm joked. "But seriously, we feel all the love and I'm just glad she's okay. Scared the shit out of me."

"The video with you holding her in your arms... covered in her blood..." Howard said sadly... "I was watching the news when it popped up. I was on the phone in seconds. Terrifying..." Norm put his arm around me a little tighter and I knew he was as done talking about it like I was. I had to do something.

"Well... I'm here now. And im promoting our Mental Health benefit concert Sunday from six to ten- 'Life Matters' right in Central Park. All proceeds to the show will be donated to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline..." I quickly changed the subject- ready to move on. Its been a long day.

*************************************

"Sorry about that... the questions..." Howard frowned as he shook Norman's hand. "D... I'm so sorry....." He pleaded as he pulled me in for a hug.

"It's really okay...." I consoled him. "You gotta do what you gotta do..."

"Yeah... man its okay. It's good to meet you." Norm added, patting his shoulder.

"You going to the rock show with her?" He asked, his eyebrows raised and Norm nodded. "Shes got four hundred ex boyfriends, uncles, dads and brothers there... including me. You're in for a ride brother." Howard laughed. "Good luck.... you are gonna need it."

**************************************

I unlocked the door to my condo- looking back at Norm who nodded silently. I shared with him how bad it was and how much I desperately did not wanna come here, or for him to come with- but I needed clothes and he insisted to come so he could carry my things.

The place looked like it did when I left, aside from the flowers and gift bags on my kitchen counter my manager told me she left- things people sent her for me after the news broke. I turned on the lights, dropping my keys in the small table by the door and dropping my purse on the floor.

"Make yourself at home." I told Norm, studying his face as I slowly pulled off my jacket and slipped out of my heels. He looked at the pictures of Mark, Kailee and I hanging on the walls- the toys in the toy box, her framed artwork hanging beside mine. "Imma head to my room, its right thru there.." I pointed to a closed door off the living room. "That is... was... Kai's room. I don't...." I shrugged as he nodded silently. "The other is my studio... where I wrote, made art... all that.... feel free to check it out."

I went into the bedroom, box of condoms on the bed and a note from my sister 'Safe Sex! See you tomorrow!' taped to it. I chuckled, tossing it beside the dresser on the floor with my dirty laundry. Pulling out my empty duffel I packed up all my clothes from my closet and dresser- along with the two cartons of cigarettes I had in my panty drawer, an ounce of medical weed from California beside it.

I feel almost content. Things were going good but... Im so stupid! I brought him here. Why did I bring him here? Why?!

I sat on the bed, head in my hand and allowed myself to feel again- wondering if I could every fully get past my grief. I was doing good- despite my shoulder hurting like a bitch- I was doing better than I have in years. I was stuck in my grief for so long. I just couldn't escape it.

"Hey- uhh... you have a mountain of cocaine in your living room..." Norm said from my doorway, looking extremely uncomfortable as he stared at me, judging my response maybe? I didn't know.

"Yeah.. I know." I replied. "I warned you it was bad."

"I looked in the fridge for a drink- found hard liquor, wine and beer." He smirked, approaching me and sitting down, taking my hand in his. "No judgement right? I don't care about your dirty laundry. I'm almost guaranteeing you my house is not much better- having a mini panic attack about us going there." He told me honestly and I chuckled, laying my head on his arm, inhaling the scent of his leather jacket and cologne.

"I got some weed in my panty drawer. Wanna get stoned?" I asked and he chuckled.

"When don't I wanna get stoned?!" He asked me loudly. "Light that shit up!"

***********************************************

"Bondage ropes?" Norm asked me as we laid naked in my bed, panting hard. "That was.... oh my.... oh wow....." he managed to get out in between labored breaths. "I think you just became my favorite person."

"Wanna bring them home with us?" I asked, looking up at him as he nodded with a smile. "Norman Reedus... I am so incredibly in love with you." I whispered as he smiled at me, pulling me close and kissing my lips.

"I love you too baby. I haven't told a woman that I loved her and meant it.... since Helena." He sighed, tracing a finger close to my bandaged shoulder and nodded slightly. "And I have literally never been in love before I fell in love with you. I know that now."

"You're high." I chuckled, kissing him deeply for several seconds, exploring his body with my fingertips while laying on my stomach. My arm hurt- but it was manageable. It was decently healing. I did my best not to use it while we were getting down and dirty but the current ache was definitely our workout.

"Yeah." He laughed, smiling at me again. The way he looks at me, its like I was the only one in a room. "Drunk too..." he added, holding up the mostly empty bottle of tequila we shared. "But I'm still in love with you Danielle."

"Let's see if you survive the weekend first..." I shot back. "Howard was right. They all can be overbearing."

"The ex boyfriends?" He asked as I sat up, grabbing the bowl and lighting it, inhaling it deeply then handing it over.

"Oh god. I was waiting for you to bring that up." I muttered. "They weren't exactly.... boyfriends.... if ya catch my drift."

"I'm sure I do... but I'm enjoying the shade of red on your cheeks right now so.... continue..."

"Shut up." I looked away as I hit the bowl again. "I am a hot, blonde, drug using, not caring, self centered child of a rock God. My teens were filled with lots of rock star penis. Sorry to say...." I finally looked back at him, the satisfaction on his face was killing me. "Then I was a married, faithful mommy for eight years. Then I was a person filling a void for two years... umm.... friend of mine.. Corey Taylor saw me at a party one night overdose.. saved me and had me come stay with him- go on tour, work out, write, do art again.... get off the dope. I decided after I was taking a hiatus from music and I started doing makeup full time. Art in my freetime."

"Not judging...." he whispered as he rubbed my leg, listening intently.

"So I had no sex for almost six years. No dating. Heavy drinking after work. Occasional cocaine bender. Weed. But I didn't even bother making a friend. I kept in touch with old ones when they reached out but I dunno. I was frozen. No interviews. No shows. When I was doing AHS I stayed with Chester Bennington whenever he was home and we were in LA. Sometimes Corey. Brian. Rest of the time I was with Dave Ghrol. His first wife is my moms sister. I hate being alone. I'm terrible alone...."

I hit the bowl again then lit us each a cigarette, smiling at him as he still looked at me. I didn't know how. I was a whole trainwreck.

"Would it make you feel less shitty if you knew I have had a ton of one night stands and two week relationships? Then I get bored. I can't sit still like... ever. I got the walker gig I was thrilled for a fresh start; stayed women and drama free for almost five years. But I fucked up a few months ago and almost died because of it. My girlfriend had to save me. I couldn't react. Amber was right. Imma peice of shit."

"No judgement..." I softly spoke, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "I just want you to know that.... umm...."

"Yeah?" His raspy voice answered, smiling despite the guilt and shame on his face.

"You're my peice of shit whore..."

"Oh fuck off!" He smirked, picking up a pillow and wailing me in the face with it as I giggled.

"Seriously tho. I am desperately, hopefully, stupidly in love with you." I leaned down, kissing his lips as I slid my body down to his. "I really am addicted to you."