Past or Future?

"Art just let me help, you have nothing to be ashamed about" Joville insisted from the other side of the door.

"You've helped me a lot in other things but I can handle this on my own" I bit my lip struggling to pull my shorts down to take a pee.

After three weeks in the hospital, I was finally discharged. When we got home I was so ecstatic seeing Atlas again, I missed my best friend so much. Things here were a little bit difficult for me specially using only one hand. When I eat, I spill some of my food, I can't balance properly. Joville insisted she wanted to be my personal nurse until the day I remove my cast off. I told her she was being ridiculous but that girl doesn't take no for an answer. Helplessly, I agreed but on one condition and that is to pay her in which again she argued and declined. I suggested she could stay here, I had a spare room but it needs a bit of cleaning and without hesitation she agreed, finally.

"Are you done?" Joville shouted from the other side.

"Just a sec" I flushed the toilet and washed my right hand, opening the door Joville looked at me studying my features.

"Uh yes? I told you I can handle the bathroom and not letting my cast get wet" Joville walked over to me and placed a hand at my back "I'm not disabled Joville, I can walk, I can eat, I can do things"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. C'mon, I made you some soup" she smiled warmly.

We headed to the kitchen and sat down on the table. Joville placed a bowl and handed me a spoon. She settled herself and slowly blew on the steam of her bowl.

"I told you before, you can take a picture, it'll last longer" Joville smirked looking at me.

I hadn't noticed I was staring at her, embarrassed, I looked down and began blowing on my soup.

"Do you want me to-?"

I cut her off "No, it's okay. You've done a lot already"

Joville rolled her eyes but continued to look at me. Shakily holding the spoon, I managed to put some soup on it and placed it on my mouth. It was good, I smiled appreciatively. From the corner of my eye, I could see Joville's intense gaze on me, this makes me squirm.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked not looking up concentrating on my soup.

"Because I want to" she stated simply.

"There has to be some kind of exchange or payment in doing this" I was skeptical.

"Look at me, Art"

Pressing my lips, I looked up. Her eyes were soft, her expression calm. "I am doing this because I want to. I want to take care of you, I want to see this weak side of you. I know at first you didn't want to because it made you uncomfortable and shy and I understood that but seeing you struggle on your own clenches my chest. It hurts me Art, it hurts me that I couldn't take the pain away. When you were at the hospital, every night it was like I was imagining the world without you and it looked so miserable and unhappy. As long as it takes for you to fall for me, I'm willing to take it no matter what"

I looked away completely swooned by her words "I don't deserve you Joville, you should find someone else"

She stood up and sat on the chair next to me, cupping my chin gently she leveled my eyes to hers. "You're doing it again. Look, Art, it's not for you to tell me that. I'm picky when it comes to people but when I saw you in the office on my first day, something inside me awakened. I didn't know I could look at a girl like that, never dated one before but I couldn't help it. My eyes itch wanting to see you" she placed her lips gently on my forehead.

I opened my mouth to speak but words were tangled in my throat. Joville's dad asked me to look out for her but then again look at it now, it's the other way around.

"It's all right if you have nothing to say, I completely understand, it's too overwhelming, I can see that" she gave me a small smile. Grabbing my bowl, she went to the sink. When she finished I was still there not moving, not knowing what to say or what to do. Joville looked at me worriedly.

"Art, you okay? You look pale. Did I say something that upsets you?"

I felt dizzy, when I looked at Joville's face, it's disoriented. The surroundings moved, a noisy beep sounding my ears. I groaned, my head falling back, I felt weak. The sound of Joville's voice faded and darkness clouded my vision.

***

I woke up dizzily, there was weight on my stomach and my forehead was draped with cold wet towel. Slowly, I opened my eyes, Atlas was laying down on my stomach. Joville was on the couch sleeping uncomfortably, her position would definitely give her a stiff neck by the time she wakes up. I took a moment to absorb the scenery, Joville looked peaceful, her face beautiful, her back moving up and down synchronized to her breathing, lips a bit parted. I may be stubborn and hard headed but I'm impressed with the amount of patience she has on me. Joville jerked and opened her eyes looking at me and jumped.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" her eyes full of worry and fear.

"I'm okay now, no headaches what not" I gave her a small smile.

"Good. I called the doctor earlier to tell him what happened and he said it was a minor shock. Your brain was given too much information and it hadn't absorbed it well leading to dizziness and eventually you blacked out on me"

"I'm sorry, Joville"

She waved me off "It's all right, though warn me first if you do that again. It gives me a heart attack"