Past or Future?

My feet felt like jelly, my vision was blurry. Looking at some Christmas lights, all I could see was pigments of red, white, blue, yellow. I smiled, this time of the year always made me excited and happy. It's as if all the burden and struggles throughout the year is turned into one long vacation celebrating this magical season. But this year, why does it have to be a disaster? I walked slowly taking my time knowing that I would have to face Joville and explain. Joville. Her name makes me smile goofily, that girl really worked hard to win my heart and what did I do? I guess I'm no different to those people who make mistakes when it comes to love.

The familiar color of the roof came to view. Almost there, I consoled myself, maybe we drank too much seeing that I can barely walk straight on my own. I grabbed the locks as quietly as I could but with my situation, it took time inserting the key in the lock which caused scratchy noises. I was now standing at the door, I leaned heavily on it taking a deep breath.

Suddenly the door opened, catching me off guard, I lost my balance and fell heavily on the person. Two paws went over my back licking my elbow. I groaned, shakily I kneeled and grabbed Atlas' face and nuzzled it. Sleepy faced Joville greeted me with a frown.

"You do know that you're heavier than me don't you?" she rubbed her eyes, yawning.

Without another word, I quickly grabbed her in a tight embrace placing my head on her shoulder inhaling her wonderful scent. Joville tensed but didn't hug me back, her arms flat on her sides. "I know you're mad at me and I understand that but please, Joville, hear me out"

"I smell cigarettes Art, did you?"

"No, no that's not on me, I don't smoke" I closed my eyes and inhaled once more. Without meaning to, I feel asleep hugging Joville.

***

The first thing I noticed when sleep was slipping away from me was hair, lots of it and the smell of Atlas' shampoo. I opened my eyes and I was correct, my arm was draped around Atlas and I'm on the couch. I heaved myself up in sitting position and looked around. There were tablets and a glass of water on the table, gratefully I took it and looked for Joville. A sticky note was on the fridge

"went to groceries , talk later xoxo"

I decided to take a shower while waiting for Joville. I checked my phone a message from Dan,

"I got home alive, what about you? Reply as soon as you can" I chuckled, even though things weren't so shining shimmering for us, he still manages to joke around. I charged my phone and headed onto the shower.

Twenty minutes later I was at the kitchen eating some cereal. Someone knocked on the door, I frowned maybe Joville forgot her keys. When I opened it, a bouquet of white and blue roses were in front of me. I stepped back surprised, the person behind peeked and it was Jella! Oh no..

"You don't look happy seeing me" Jella pouted "Here" she handed me the flowers.

I smiled timidly motioning for her to come in. Atlas wagged his tail recognizing Jella. This is a really bad time for her return damn.

"I didn't know you were coming today. Any special reason?" I prayed to all the gods out there for Joville to be a bit longer in the store. Seeing them both in here puts me in a very unlikely situation.

"Well, it's almost Christmas time and I wanted to see you" she smiled taking a seat across me.

"Cereal?" I offered.

Jella nodded smiling warmly at me "How have you been?"

"Still the same, and you? Where did you go?" I handed her the bowl and the milk.

"I had a lot of thinking and meditating, also I improved myself on some skills and tried new things to learn. Being away from you made me realize that not all lovers can be reunited as one, there are some who remain friends, some prefer to be strangers and also some of them continue their love story. As for us, Nikola, I think all those time apart changed you and me.

When we first met here, I knew you were excited and so was I but as the truth from our past unraveled, we didn't look at things the way we did before, we grew up and matured. While I'm rambling all of this, I want you to know that I care about you in a friendly way. I'll be migrating to another country for the better but I'll always keep in touch. You will always have a special place in my heart Nikola, never forget that. As we drift apart, I do hope if not Joville, someone out there would love and treat you the way a respectful partner should be treated. This is our last meeting talking about this and I've already said all my heart desires" Jella reached out placing her palm on the back of my hand, tears glistening her eyes.

I looked at her solemnly not believing this was happening. "I'm not saying that I was happy you went away but part of me does. When I decided to kiss you on that beach, it was a spur of the moment. I guess seeing you made me think that you could be mine again and do it differently but you are right, things did change.

Over the course of you being away, I became closer to Joville and saw sides of her that I didn't know. Well, mostly it was her who was trying real hard to win me. Being with her made me giddy and happy, she showed how much she cared about me in a way no one else did and because of that her intentions on me became clear. You and Joville are very much different but each of you engraved something on me that I will never forget. I wish the same to you, if not Ruby, maybe someone else, someone who would be willing to know you better than I do. You made a mark in me Jella and thank you for that, we'll keep in touch okay? See how we improve as the years go by"

I wiped an escaped tear with my other arm, this shit right here is so damn emotional I can't barely get the words out. We stood up and hugged each other longingly, the familiar scent of Jella invading my nostrils. This hug may or may not happen again but I'm grateful Jella has decided for the best.

"Uhurm"

Surprised, me and Jella jumped scrambling to get away from each other like deer caught in headlights.

"If I'm interrupting something, I can just go back and-"

Jella quickly grabbed Joville's shoulders and hugged her tightly making me open my mouth. Joville looked at me angrily but as Jella whispered something in her ear, her face began to relax not taking her eyes away from me. They hugged for a while and eventually Jella let go, they looked at each other knowingly and then looked at me. I didn't know what was happening, I just stood there blankly. Jella hugged me again quickly.

"I guess this isn't goodbye but see you very, very soon" Jella smiled warmly at me.

I nodded "See you real soon, take care of yourself" she then turned to Joville "Don't forget what I told you, you are one lucky girl" they hugged again quickly and went out of the door. Joville looked back facing me, an unreadable expression on her face. I squirmed uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot

"About last night. . ."

"You were drunk Art and you fell asleep on me"

"I'm sorry Joville, things were getting bumpy for us so I decided to drink for a bit with Dan. I know what we did was terrible but it doesn't matter now, I love you Joville. I really do and I would do anything just to be with you" I bit my lip and looked down.

"Anything?"

I looked straight into her eyes "Anything"

Joville smirked oh no. . that evil smirk "Carry me and run across the living room ten times"

I gaped at her "Seriously?"

She held up the bags "This included also"

Always be careful when you say you'd do anything for a person.