Eyes Over Easy

Jimmy's P.O.V.
"Mr Sullivan, i'm afraid there's bad news" I was just happy she was alive, she looked so dead in my arms back at the house, it scared me,
"Our test's show previous useage of coca-" what.
"wait, what? how long?" I asked, how the hell l didn't I notice,
"yes, I mean there was signs, her weight, for one, and our tests cannot determin an exact date but by our calculations at least 2, maybe more years" oh god.
"you never noticed any irregular habits during your relationship?" her doctor asked me,
"no, I mean she never really ate much so I assumed thats why she was so skinny for her heght and shit", he nodded
"yes well cocaine is a natural appetite supressant" huh
"im sorry, what does that mean?
"it means that it would reduce a persons appitite",
"oh, okay" his face suddenly took a turn for the worse and he coughed awkwardly, I sighed inwardly, it could not get worse,
"uh, Mr Sullivan, I think there are some things you should discuss with Roxanne before we decided what to do about her 'addiction'" he seemed uncomfortable,
"why? whats wrong with her?" I asked unsure I actually wanted to know, he shook his head, "I'm afraid I can't discuss this, its something she needs to tell you" he spoke sincerly, turned his back and walked to another room, I shook the bad toughts from my head, and braced myself for more shit news that was bound to come.

"Oh, roxy baby" I rushed over to her bed, of course she had her own room, she was paler than usual, she looked lifeless, just staring out of the window, she didn't even acknowledge me when I walked in. As soon as I got to her bed I let myself sit gingerly next to her legs, she inhaled sharply and took the shakiest breath i've ever heard,
"I lost her" she spoke like she hadn't had a drink in months, I scooted closer to her and grabbed her hands,
"Lost who baby?" I asked, confused
she had tears coming down her face, with all the tubes latched onto her it was hard to tell though!
"my baby, our baby, I lost her, im so sorry, I didn-"
"ssshh baby" I soothed her, "what do you mean?" I asked, "what baby?"
she drew another shaky breath,
"I didn't know, I would of called you, I would never-" she broke off with a sob, I puled her into me and rocked her back and forth, I had a baby,
oh god,
"I never even thought you know, I thought it was the fucking drugs, like last time" she laughed hysterically,
"what like last time?" I asked softly, I needed her to tell me.
"losing weight, throwing up, feeling dizzy not once did I ever think"
her body racked with sobs, I couldn't take it, this was my fault,
"i'm so sorry sully, you would of been the best daddy ever, im such a fuck up" I shook my head furiously
"No, roxy this is my fault, I should of taken you with me, I shouldn't of just left you," this time she shook her head, weakly I might add,
"no, I gave up you know, I did it because I wanted to make myself better, for you" she smiled,
"I didn't want to be a druggie, you took my mind off the drugs" she looked tired, I layed so that we were posistioned on the stupid sized hospital bed, she started to close her eyes
"damn medication, makes me sleepy" I laughed lightly, she nuzzled her head into my neck
"im so sorry jimmy, I found out to late, I already lost her" I ssshhed her softly, she was falling asleep quickly but noit before saying 4 words that made tears well up in my eyes, those words made it all too real,
"I love you sully"

Roxie's P.O.V
When I woke up Jimmy wasn't in the room but my doctor was,
"wheres my jimmy?" I asked, oh god my voice sounded awful,
"he's calling your friends, miss winters I believe we need to talk about rehabilitation possibilities" he spoke gently, jackass
"okay, i'll do it but I need it to be as private as possible, really, I can't let this kill my acreer, before you say 'well you should have thought about that' you don't any of the crap i've had to put up with in my life I am 23 years old for fucksake I'-"
"Miss winters you language" H easked sternly, I scowled,
"sorry, but I know that doesn't excuse taking drugs and noone will ever regret it more than me, I killed my own baby, i'll never forgive myself for that, I don't want to kill my career too" he looked uncomfortable, I wasn't ging to cry, I'm all cried out. then he nodded
"I think I have a soloution, we can have you stay in the hospital maybe another week and start your rehabilitation process here, then we can have our specialist come visit you at your home, 3 days a week to check progress, assuming you'll have someone to stay with you?" shit
"I-", "I will be staying with her Doctor reynolds" Jimmy answered for me, now my eyes welled with tears, I killed his baby and he's still here,
"well, that will be all, I'll leave you two for now,"doctor reynolds nodded and walked out of the door. He walked over almost nervously,
"the guys are in denver, but they left as soon as I told them what happened" he sat at the edge of the bed, okay maybe he doesn't forgive me, I looked down and let the tears fall freely down my cheeks,
"baby, whats wrong?" he asked gently
"you hate me, I mean I get it, I don't forgive myself, I'm so sor-"
"what?, I dont hate you, No this was my fault, I shouldnt of left you"
I smiled, I didn't deserve him, god I didn't, I held my hands out for him he didn't hesitate to come over and hug me withen an inch of my life,
"just never do that to me again, I was so scared" he spoke into my hair, I shuddered,
"I swear, never again im gonna get clean and I'm never gonna turn back"
he nodded and placed a soft kiss on my lips,

"I promise"