Out Of This World
Pondering
The week after the incident was spent riviving our usual routine, working through it with the heavy paranoia resting on our backs. By Thursday I had a few irrationally frightening ideas as to why Ada had tried to kill Ben, all of them outrageous. All except one.
I knew I should have said something; not only was it eating away at my brain but if it was true, it was also life threatening. Shameful to say, I was too scared. Scared that as soon I said it, made it known to another human, it would become real. Panic only starts when we first smell smoke.
I had hardly slept for four nights in a row. My skin was pasty, my eyes red with heavy bags dragging down my bottom lids. I kept the curtains closed and when my parents weren’t home, I engaged the phone. When Ben came to take me for a walk, a breath of fresh air, it took half an hour of coaxing to do so. Finally, hood up, large sunglasses on, I stepped out of the house, clinging onto Ben like he was a life vest. I kept my eyes fixed on the path below and he kept his eyes glued on me. They were all worried- they thought I was going slightly insane with paranoia. Even though Ben fussed over me less than everyone else, I knew he was the most worried.
“Kim, what’s eating you?” he said, like he didnt know. And really, he didn’t.
I shrugged.
Tell him, tell him now.
“Ben, I need to tell you something,” I said lowly, stopping in my tracks and sitting on the pavement.
“Yeah, I need to tell you something too,” he said, sitting next to me.
“You first.”
Chicken.
Ben nodded. He took a deep breath, he played with his hands, reached over to play with mine, then went back to his. I stared at him in wonder. He looked at me, then looked at the ground, then looked back at me. Was he in pain? I watched his hesitant, awkward movements, and his lips struggle into a smile. And then, he said it.
“Kim, I love you.”
I knew I should have said something; not only was it eating away at my brain but if it was true, it was also life threatening. Shameful to say, I was too scared. Scared that as soon I said it, made it known to another human, it would become real. Panic only starts when we first smell smoke.
I had hardly slept for four nights in a row. My skin was pasty, my eyes red with heavy bags dragging down my bottom lids. I kept the curtains closed and when my parents weren’t home, I engaged the phone. When Ben came to take me for a walk, a breath of fresh air, it took half an hour of coaxing to do so. Finally, hood up, large sunglasses on, I stepped out of the house, clinging onto Ben like he was a life vest. I kept my eyes fixed on the path below and he kept his eyes glued on me. They were all worried- they thought I was going slightly insane with paranoia. Even though Ben fussed over me less than everyone else, I knew he was the most worried.
“Kim, what’s eating you?” he said, like he didnt know. And really, he didn’t.
I shrugged.
Tell him, tell him now.
“Ben, I need to tell you something,” I said lowly, stopping in my tracks and sitting on the pavement.
“Yeah, I need to tell you something too,” he said, sitting next to me.
“You first.”
Chicken.
Ben nodded. He took a deep breath, he played with his hands, reached over to play with mine, then went back to his. I stared at him in wonder. He looked at me, then looked at the ground, then looked back at me. Was he in pain? I watched his hesitant, awkward movements, and his lips struggle into a smile. And then, he said it.
“Kim, I love you.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Really short but that's just because the next bit had to be written in Ben's POV. So go check that out.