Park

I was sitting against a tree in the park, book in my hand
and the other slowly moving though Yoongi's hair.
His head was on my leg and I'd pulled his cap off to
gain access to his soft, black locks.

It was the first warm spring day. The birds were out and about,
the flowers were growing in all their beautiful colors,
shapes and sizes. It was a very good day to be outside.

We'd made the decision to go to the park the minute we'd
met up at the coffee shop. Yoongi needed his poison and
I wasn't too opposed to some tea but after that we'd found
ourselves walking towards the place we were in at the moment.

Not a big fan of the sun, we'd chosen the biggest tree we could
find so we were mostly in the shade but warm enough to
not need a coat or a blanket. Although Yoongi looked so
at ease, a blanket would have made a perfect addition to his
sleeping form.

I didn't know if he was really sleeping or just relaxed and
had his eyes closed but days like these were scarce for him.
So I didn't interrupt his calm state and just read my book that
was very, very addictive. So it was pretty much a win-win for
the both of us.

A gentle breeze sweeped over us and Yoongi stirred a bit.
The corners of my mouth twitched up in a smile when he
turned on his back after he'd been on his left side mere seconds
before. I looked at him and felt blessed to have someone like him
in my life.

When we first met, I didn't really know how to act around him because
of the way he sometimes said things. Yoongi always chose his words
carefully and was always honest. He didn't really enjoy or liked
small talk at all and I was all for it. So we had to find a way to communicate
in the beginning but when we had been paired in an assignment at school,
we found similiarties soon enough.

Cut down to today and we'd been friends for nearly ten years and
still going strong. He'd been the person I would go to for advice.
Even when I'd broken up with my ex boyfriend, he was the one to
comfort me even though he really didn't understand. He didn't like
Minho, at all so naturally he was wondering why I was so upset.

But he cared enough to put that aside and be there for me when
I needed him, as was I. When he went through his first heartbreak,
I was there to distract him and focus on other things while also
giving him his space to tell me whatever he needed.

I was taking a small break from reading, just looking at Yoongi
and then at other people walking by. A man caught my eye, he
was smiling and I couldn't help but look at him. He had a very
nice smile, instantly bringing this man to my attention.

He was with another man who was also laughing and they
seemed to be friendly enough to each other. I couldn't help
but follow the first man I'd seen with my eyes, unknowingly
staring and realized too late that his eyes met mine.

I felt my cheeks heat up and my eyes shot to my own two
feet in front of me. I swallowed, wondering why I didn't just
look away when I should have when I was here with Yoongi.

I looked up slightly and saw the man nowhere so I breathed out
in relief. It was a good thing he wasn't there anymore because I'd
made a fool out of myself already, staring like that.

I resumed my reading and my fingers also found Yoongi's soft
hair again so I did as before and forgot all about the man I'd
locked eyes with for a while.

"Yoongs? It's getting late, we best get going."
I said as I softly ran my hand over his cheek.
"Time to wake up, sleepy head."

He groaned.

"I know you don't want to get up, I hate to be the one to wake
you but it's almost time for dinner. I'm getting hungry."

"Mhm."
he said before opening his eyes and stretching himself
out.
"What do you want to eat?"

"Jjajangmeon. I've been craving it for days."
I replied when I saw him sit up.

"I could go for some Jjajangmyeon."
Yoongi mumbled when he stretched out one more time.
"This has been the most relaxed day I've had in ages."

"I wonder if you'll be able to sleep tonight, though. You've
slept for a long time."
I grabbed his hand that he'd held out for me so I could
get up easily.

"Oh, I'll be fine. Besides, I didn't sleep the entire time."

"You could've fooled me. You didn't move for a long time
and I almost wanted to check your vitals."
I mumbled and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"Always so dramatic."

I smiled and shoved his shoulder playfully.
"Shut up. Be nice."

"You look great today."
he said and I chuckled.

"That's a downright lie."

"It isn't!"
he said, incredulously.
"Aish! You can't take a compliment anyway so I wonder why I even
bother trying."

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as we started walking.
"Thank you for the compliment, Yoongs. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it. Especially coming from my number one guy ever."
I replied as I grabbed his cap and put it on my head.
"You have such a small head. This fits me perfectly."

"Maybe yours is just too big. I wouldn't be surprised."
he said with a grin and I rolled my eyes.

"You're never getting this back again."

"Then I don't want to eat jjajangmeon."
he replied and I huffed and reluctantly gave him his cap
back.
"That was easy."

"That's because I'm hungry and really, really want to have
jjanjanmeon. I would've put up a bigger fight if I didn't."
I shrugged.

We made our way over to his apartment and decided to
watch some tv while waiting for our food. We did this more often
than not, having dinner at each others' place. Even though Yoongi
had a busy schedule from work, he always made sure that we saw
each other whenever he could. More often than not we'd heard what
a lovely couple we were.

I always laughed at the thought of us as a couple. He was Yoongi,
my best friend in the whole world. I'd never looked at him that
way nor did he when it came to me. When I was with Minho, he
had to accept Yoongi and when Yoongi was with Mi So, she had
to accept me. Needless to say that they were both not very fond
of the relationship that Yoongi and I had. Ultimately, I think that's
what drove our relationships apart.

"Do you ever think about Mi So and how she's doing?"
I asked Yoongi and he took a while to answer.

"Sometimes. But I think it's best we went our seperate ways
in the end."

"Do you miss her?"
I asked and Yoongi looked at me this time with an unspoken
question in his eyes.
"I'm just curious, that's all."

"No, I don't. Do you miss Minho?"

I shook my head.
"I used to but not anymore. I miss someone I can be a couple
with, if you know what I mean. But I don't miss Minho."

"I know what you mean."
he said and I smiled at him.

"Do you think that maybe we are too close for anyone
to accept how we are?"
I asked then.

"Wow, what's with all the questions?"
he asked, being the curious one this time.
"Is everything okay?"

I nodded.
"Yeah, just thinking about stuff. I'm fine."

Yoongi gave me a look.

"I'm fine, Yoongs. I promise. Just answer the question."

He sighed.
"I don't know if it's easy to accept but I don't think anyone
I'm gonna be with is gonna have a choice. You're my best friend,
Moon. I won't ever let anyone get inbetween us even if they
try. We've been through so much together, it'll be an easy choice
if anyone ever makes me do it. You'll always come first."

I blushed at his words.
"Someday maybe you'll find someone though and-"

"And she will still have to accept you and how we are.
We might not see each other every day when that day comes
but that doesn't mean anything between us will change."
he said with a firm voice.
"I'm not gonna let that happen."

"Neither will I but you already know that, right?"
I asked and he gave me a small smile and a nod.
"I love you, Yoongs."

"Aish, don't do that. Now you're gonna make me say it
back!"

"It's so rude if you don't and I won't share the food with you."
I replied with a smile and he huffed before he hung his head
low in defeat.

"I love you, too."
he mumbled and I squealed before wrapping my arms around
him and placing my head on his shoulder, kissing his cheek.

His cheeks flushed a bit and I chuckled.
"You're the best."

"I know."
he said with a grin and he was back to his normal self.

The food came, we ate and we just had a nice evening in.
When it was time for me to leave, I hugged him like I always
did and he hugged me back reluctantly, like he always did.

"There's gonna be a day you'll have to miss my hugs, Yoongs.
Make the most of it while you can."
I said as I walked away.

"But I get them everyday!"

"Someday they will stop and then you'll be sad!"
I replied and raised my voice a little so he could hear me.

"You never stop!"
he replied before I head the door close and I chuckled.

He was right, I was never going to stop hugging him. I loved
hugs and Yoongi's hugs, when he really gave me one and not some
half-assed 'i need to because you're hugging me' hug, were great.

As I made my way over to my apartment, I decided on a hot
chocolate so I made a quick stop at the coffee shop on the
corner of my street. When I'd ordered and had my drink in
hand, I walked outside and made a right to my apartment
when I noticed a man on the other side of the road.

I frowned because the man looked familiar and when he looked
up and into my eyes, I realized it was the same man I'd seen at
the park that afternoon. I'd forgotten all about him for the rest of
the day. I caught myself staring again before looking at my
feet and quickly making my way towards my apartment.

"What is up with me and staring at this guy."
I mumbled to myself and shook my head, trying to erase
the image from my head.

When I walked inside, I sent Yoongi a text that I was home,
took a shower and stayed up for a bit before making my way
to bed. The conversation between Yoongi and I was very reassuring
and it made me feel loved by him. I already knew he did in his way
but it was nice to hear that he and I were on the same page.

Then the face of the unknown man came to me and I was starting
to wonder who he was and why exactly he caught my eye. Thinking
about a why and a how, I drifted off to sleep.

---

A few days went by, working and not seeing Yoongi much.
He was very busy at work but he'd promised me that he
would meet me after dinner at my place for a movie and
just hanging out.

I was making my way over to the coffee shop on the corner
of my street again, having just come off work. I walked inside,
ordered the hot chocolate I'd craved for the entire day and wanted
to walk out. I looked up and saw the same man I'd seen in the park
and then later that same day, sitting at a table. He had made me look
up because I'd felt a pair of eyes on me. It had been him.

He smiled and I was instantly captured by how his face lit up
when he did that. I smiled back and I wanted to walk out but
he stood up and walked over to me, quickly.

"Hi. Would it be extremely inappropriate if I asked you if
you maybe wanted to sit with me?"

I looked into his eyes and I gulped.

"Erm.. I have somewhere to be.."
I mumbled and I saw his smile falter a bit.

I looked at the clock and saw I had about a half an hour before
Yoongi would arrive.

"Of course, sorry for bothering you."
he gave me a small bow and then sat down again.

I looked at the clock and then back at the man before slowly
making my way over to him.
"I've seen you around."

He looked up at me and nodded.
"I have seen you, too."

I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and smiled.
"Maybe I can sit down for a while. I don't have much time, though.
I have a friend coming over."

"I'm happy with everything you can give me."
he said with a bright smile and I was once again, caught staring.

I shook my head and blushed a bit before I sat down.
"I think I can spare about twenty minutes. If we can last that long."

He chuckled and the sound was like music to my ears.
"I think we'll manage. I'm Park Seo Joon."

"Jeon Moon. Nice to meet you. So are you new around here?"
I asked then, not seeing him anywhere before last weeks' first
encounter.

"I am. Sort of. I'm not staying for long. I'm here for about six months
before I have to leave again. It's for work. You live around here?"
he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"I do. About five minutes from here. I always come here after
work and get something for the last few minutes of my walk.
So, can I ask what you do for work?"
I asked and took a sip of my drink.

We'd decided soon enough that we weren't going
to use formalities. I didn't feel the need most of the time.
We were in a very natural conversation, talking like we'd
already met each other before and getting to know each other a
little bit more.

It was a good thing that Yoongi texted me that he'd
be at my place in ten minutes.

"Oh, it's this late already?!"
I asked and saw we'd been chatting for almost an hour.

"Oh, didn't you have somewhere to be?"
Seo Jun asked me with a little worry.
"Did I make you miss anything?"

I smiled.
"No. My friend just messaged me, I have to get going now."

I stood up and Seo Joon did as well.

"Would it be okay if I was here again, tomorrow?"
he asked.
"I'd like to see you again, if that's okay."

I smiled.
"I would like to see you again, too. This was nice.
I'll be here tomorrow, probably around the same time."

"I'll be here. Have a nice evening, Jeon Moon. And thank you
for sitting with me."
he said with a bright smile.

"I hope you have a nice evening, too. I'll see you tomorrow,
Park Seo Joon."
I replied with a small bow and then walked off to meet
Yoongi.

I'd barely put the key in the lock when I heard Yoongi
behind me.
"You're late?"

I shrieked and threw the keys in the air. He caught them
without missing a beat and I turned around.
"Don't do that! You scared the crap out of me!"

He chuckled and handed me the keys.
"Sorry."

I shoved his shoulder and then proceeded to open the door.
"Yes, I was late."

"Rough day at work?"
he asked as we walked in.

"No, I just met someone at the coffeshop on the corner."
I replied, placing my bag on the kitchen table and grabbing
my phone out of it.

"You met someone?"
he asked with his eyebrows somewhere behind his hair.

"Yes, I met someone. I've been seeing this guy here and there.
Last week when we were at the park and then that same
day while I was walking home. Today he sat at a table and
asked me to sit with him so I did. It was a good thing that
you let me know that you were almost here, I'd lost track
of time competely."
I replied while in the process of taking of my coat and shoes,
putting them where they belonged and then my bag as well.
"He seemed nice."

"You sat down with a random guy?"
Yoongi asked with a frown.
"People get kidnapped like that."

I chuckled.
"I was at the coffeeshop and I got a good vibe from him. I was fine.
Besides, he was a complete gentleman and we had a very
nice conversation. I'm meeting up with him again tomorrow.
I should've had dinner yet but I haven't. Are you hungry or did
you eat?"

"I ate. Meeting him again tomorrow? Like a date?"
Yoongi wanted to know and I nodded.

"Yeah but not really a date. I think I'm just gonna make some ramen."
I said as I thought about dinner.
"I don't feel like cooking much."

"So make ramen. Where are you meeting him?"

"At the coffeeshop after work."
I responded while making myself some dinner.
"He wanted to meet me again and I didn't really feel
like saying no. He has a great smile."

"I'm sure he does. What's his name?"
Yoongi asked as I felt his eyes on the back of my neck,
following my every move.
"How old is he?"

I chuckled and turned around.
"His name is Park Seo Joon and he is only a year older
that I am. Any more questions?"

He seemed to think about it.
"What does he do?"

"Yoongs, is there a reason you're asking me all this?"
I wanted to know as I walked over to stand in front of him.

"No."
he crossed his arms over his chest and looked to his right.

"Yooooooongs?"
I asked and he scrunched his nose.
"Come on, tell me!"

"I don't know who the guy is and I'm worried that something
bad might happen."
he said with a small voice.

"Aw, Yoongi."
I wrapped my arms around his waist and this time, he wrapped
his arms around me without hesitation.
That always meant something. It could mean a few things but
right now, I figured it was worry. I placed my head against
his shoulder and enjoyed the warmth of his embrace.

"I'll be careful. That's why I am meeting in a public place
with loads of other people. Besides the staff there know me
so even if he tries something funny, they'll be there. Don't
worry, please?"
I asked gently applying a little pressure with my arms.
"I'll be fine."

His chin was on my head and I felt him take a breath.
"I can't help but worry anyway, though. Can you at least promise
me that if something doesn't feel right, you'll let me know?
I'll come get you, no matter where I am."

I felt my heart swell at his words and snuggled a bit closer.
"I will. Thank you."

"Mhm."
he mumbled and I felt the tension leave his body.
"You smell nice. Like peaches."

"It's my shampoo."
I mumbled as I felt myself relax completely.

"Promise you'll never change shampoos ever again."
he said as he sniffed my hair and I chuckled.

"Okay, deal."
I said and just stayed in his embrace before I realized that
this was maybe a little too close for just being best friends
and I cleared my throat and released him.
"So, you're okay?"

He nodded, his hands on my shoulders.
"If you say you'll be fine, I believe you."

"I'll be fine."

"Okay. I believe you."
he replied and I smiled at him.
"I think you were making ramen?"

My eyes flew open and I ran over to the stove. I was
just in time and Yoongi was already on the sofa when I joined
him with my dinner.
We had a nice evening talking about alot of things but also
just enjoying each others' company before Yoongi announced he
was tired and was headed home.

"See you tomorrow?"
I asked as he walked over to the door.

"Sure. My place?"
he asked while putting on his converse.

"Sure. I'll text you when I'm on my way."
I replied and he nodded.

"See you tomorrow."

"Text me when you're home!"
I yelled after him just before he closed the door behind him.

I got a text twenty minutes later from Yoongi, saying he was home.
I was already in bed and just sent him a kissy face emoji before I
placed my phone on my night stand and dozed off.

---

The next day I got off work a little late and I hurried my way
over to the coffeeshop. When I arrived, I saw Seo Joon was sitting
at the same spot as the day before. I was a little out of breath and he
chuckled.

"I'm here!"
I said with a huff and sat down.
"I'm sorry, work ran late and I had no way to contact you."

"It's okay, really. I'm glad you made it."
he said with a dazzling smile.

I felt my stomach do a little jump and I smiled back at him.

"I hope you didn't wait too long?"
I asked and he shrugged.

"It was worth the wait."

I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't
so I just closed it and felt a blush on my cheeks.

"I hope you didn't think that I stood you up."
I said then with a nervous chuckle.
"I'm not like that and I hate being late."

"Moon?"
he asked and I looked up at him.
"It's fine. You're here. I understand why you're late and
even so, it's no big deal. Can I get you anything?"

I felt myself calm down at his words and nodded.
"A hot chocolate please. If you tell them it's for me, they'll
know exactly what I want."

"They know you that well here?"
he asked and I chuckled.

"I see them everyday."

"Hm, so they're a good source of information if I want
to know someting about you?"
he asked and I felt another blush on my cheeks.

"Probably."
I replied.
"But you could also just ask me."

"Maybe I will."
he said before giving me a small wink and standing up to
get my hot chocolate.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. This man was something
else, flirting to an extent to make it fun and not awkward. I quite
liked it.

"Here you go."
Seo Joon said as he put the hot chocolate in front of
me.
"You like it with cinnamon?"

I nodded.
"Very much so. Sometimes they add a little bit of hazelnut
and that's also very delicious. They know they can surprise me
with one of both and I don't care which."

"Maybe I should try one sometime, too."
he replied as he kept looking at me with a hint of curiosity
in his eyes.
"You know, I was a little surprised you decided to say yes
when I asked you to meet up with me today. I didn't think
you'd do it."

"You didn't?"

He shook his head.
"That day in the park you were with someone. I kind of thought
that maybe he was your boyfriend?"

"Oh, that's Yoongi. He's honestly my best friend in the entire
world. We've grown very comfortable around each other
so I can see why you would think we were a couple. You're not
the first, to be honest. I still think that our parents are waiting
for us to break the news to them but Yoongi and I are not like
that."
I said with a fond smile.
"He's someone who I love dearly but as a friend. We've never
been anything more."

"It must be nice to have a best friend like him."
he said with a small smile.

"It is. He's always there for me and I am, for him."
I took a sip of my drink and smiled.
"It's so good."

Seo Joon chuckled.
"You're making me curious now."

"Well, taste it."
I said and held the cup out for him.

"Are you sure?"
he asked with slightly big eyes.

"Well, sure. I don't mind."
I replied with a shrug.

"Okay, if you're sure."
Seo Joon took a sip and I awaited his reaction.
"Oh, this is really good."

"See? Told you."
I said with a proud grin.
"I never lie."

"You don't?"
he asked and I saw a glint in his eyes.
"Why did you say yes yesterday?"

I took a sip before answering him.
"When you asked me to sit down yesterday I was a little hesitant
at first but I trust my instincts when it comes to meeting new
people. So I sat down."
I said with a small smile.
"Why did you ask me to meet you again today?"

"It doesn't happen very often that I meet someone
and lose track of time the first time I meet them. So
I figured it was a good sign. Plus, you're nice company to
have as far as I can tell."
he replied.
"Not to mention that you caught my eye at the park."

"I did?"

"Very much so, actually. You were reading and there was this
soft breeze. Somehow it looked like this movie scene where-"
he said and he cleared his throat with a frown.
"Never mind that."

"Ah, come on. Don't leave me hanging!"
I said with my eyes wide.
"You can't do that to me."

"Ah but this is gonna sound incredibly cheesy and I hate it."
he mumbled, looking at the cup in my hands.
"I might come off as some kind of creep."

I chuckled.
"I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm not one to scare off easily."

"You're really gonna make me say it?"
he asked with a slight chuckle and a shake of his head.
"It's gonna be the corniest thing you've heard today. No, scratch
that, this year. This decade even."

I laughed now and placed my hand on his.
"You're only making me more curious, now spill!"

"Aish! Fine. It looked like this movie scene where everything
was in slow motion and your hair gently just went with the breeze
and.. I don't know. I thought you looked.."
he sighed.
".. kind of beautiful. Which sounds incredibly superficial and I
swear I'm not like that."

My mouth had fallen open slightly, my cheeks flushed.
He thought I'd looked beautiful?

"Moon?"
he asked, placing his hand over mine that was frozen in place.
"Moon?"

I cleared my throat.
"I'm here, sorry. I just.. I didn't expect you to say that at all."

"I told you it was cheesy."
he mumbled and then I squeezed his hand.

"But it was very sweet of you. So thank you very much for saying
that. For what it's worth I erm.."
I said and frowned.
"I think you are quite handsome, to be honest."

I saw the surprise on his face and then I chuckled.
"Look at us, flustered and complimenting each other. We're
off to a perfect start, aren't we?"

He laughed and so did I. Then I realized that my hand was still
between his. He looked down at our hands as well and quickly
released them.
"I'm sorry."

"No, no it's fine. Really."
I said and smiled at him before taking another sip of my
hot chocolate.
"I was the one who initiated it, anyway. So if there's an apology
needed, I should be the one to say it."

"There's definitely no need for an apology."
Seo Joon said and he chuckled.
"I quite like you, Jeon Moon."

"Already? Wow, I'm not even trying yet."
I replied and earned a laugh from Seo Joon.

"I think it's best if you don't try, then. I might like you too
much, too soon."

"Wouldn't want that to happen."
I said with a smile.

The rest of the meeting with Seo Joon went by without
a hitch. He even got himself a hot chocolate because I'd
told him to get one while we were here. When it was time
for me to go over to Yoongi, I sighed.

"I'm supposed to meet Yoongi tonight so I think it's
best if I head over to his. This was a very nice evening
to spend here. I don't think I've ever been here this long
with anyone."
I said as I grabbed my bag from under my seat.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
he asked and I chuckled.

"Definitely good."

"Can I see you again?"
he asked then and I nodded.

"I would like that very much."
I handed him my phone.
"Put your number in? I'll call you."

He smiled and gave me my phone after he'd
put his number in.
"I'll look forward to the call. I had a great time."

He stood up and I did as well.
"I'll see you soon?"

I nodded.
"I have a feeling you will."

"Good. Have a nice evening."
he said and I stood on my toes and gently
pecked his cheek.

"You too! Bye!"
I gave him a small wave and then started walking over to
Yoongi's place.

He was waiting for me after I'd texted him I was on my way.
It was not like him to be overly curious but he wanted
to know everything about my date.

"It wasn't a date, Yoongs!"

I tried to answer everything as good as I could but
Yoongi kept coming up with more questions. After about
thirty minutes he seemed content and we could get on with the
evening. It didn't last very long anymore but it was still nice to
see Yoongi for a while.

---

About a week later, I had already given Seo Joon a call
and we'd agreed to meet up for dinner at a restaurant. This
time, it was a date, no question about it. I dressed for the occasion
in a little black dress with heels. I applied little to no make up
and let my hair fall down my back, nothing fancy.

The dinner was delicious, the drinks were good and the company
was great. Seo Joon and I didn't have any trouble to talk or
getting to know each other at all. It all felt strangely familliar,
like we'd already met before and were just meeting up to talk
about the old days. I felt at ease when I was with him and I caught
him smiling alot which made me smile, too.

"I can't believe how much I ate, I'm so full."
I said as I rubbed my stomach.
"But it was so good. I don't know how you find this
place only being here for a month. I've been here for years
and never went here."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."
he said with yet another smile.

I'd had some wine and I felt that I was loosening up
a little, my mouth losing some of it's filter.

"Do you know how handsome you look tonight?"
I asked and Seo Joon placed his elbows on the table, his hands
clasped together in front of his mouth.

"I have absolutely no idea."
he replied with a glint in his eyes.

"Oh, you must know how women look at you."
I replied with a frown.
"Those eyes, those cheekbones. You can't not see
that."

"But I don't care how women look at me."
he replied.

"You don't?"
I asked and he shook his head.

"No. I only care how you look at me."

"I think that is a great answer."

He shrugged.
"It's the only honest answer I can give you."

"I like honest answers. Those are the best ones."
I said.

We'd collected our check and Seo Joon insisted on paying
so I was waiting by the door when he walked over to me
and handed me my coat.
"Ready to go?"

I linked my arm with his.
"Yes, sir. Where are we going?"

"Are you up for a short walk through the park?"

"Oh, I'd love that. It's so pretty in the evening with all
the lights on."

"The park it is."
he said and we walked over to his car.

We took the small drive to the park and we got out
just when it was starting to rain a little bit.
"Oh, we should probably-"

"Only if you don't want to get wet. I'm fine with a little rain."
I said as I stood on the side of his car.

"Are you sure?"
he asked, hesitant.
"I don't want you to get cold."

"If I get cold we can always just walk back to the car,
right? And it's only a small drizzle."

"Whatever you say, miss Jeon."
he said as he held his arm out for me to grab.

We walked slowly because there was honestly no need
to hurry. We had all the time in the world. When we got to the
big tree Yoongi and I had been under when we'd first seen each
other he stopped.

"If I close my eyes, I can still see you sitting there in the
shade. You were so captured in your book, it made me
want to know what you were reading."
he mumbled as he looked up at the branches and leaves.

"I was reading The Law of the Lines."
I replied as I thought back to that day.
"It was very good and I was kind of sad that I finished
it."

"Moon?"
he asked and I turned to him.

"Hm?"

"I.."
he started but then it started to pour down. There was no use in
running and I just laughed as I felt myself get soaked.

"You'll get cold!"
Seo Joon said and I just shrugged it off.

"It's already done, though."

He looked at me incredulously when I took off my shoes.
The water dripped down my hair and I faced Seo Joon
again who was shaking his head, running his hands through
his hair and pushing it back. His shirt clung to his body and I could
see that he was pretty fit. I sighed. Of course he was fit, too.

I felt a small shiver run through my body and he frowned
in worry.
"Come on, let's get to the car. I really don't want you
to catch a cold."

He grabbed my hand in his and we quickly made our way to his
car. When we arrived at it, he opened the door for me and let me in
before jogging over to the other side and climbing in himself.
He ran his hands over his face and through his hair again, getting most
of the water off and I looked in the mirror to find that the minimal
make up I'd put on was mostly in place. I ran my fingers under my eyes to
get rid of the mascara and eyeliner but other than that, it was fine.

Seo Joon quickly put on the heater of the car and I felt another
shiver run through my body.
"Okay, so maybe it was colder than I thought."

He nodded and looked at me.
"I'll get you home. You can take a shower and warm up."

"That sounds like a good idea."
I mumbled and gave him my adress.

When we'd arrived at my place, Seo Joon turned the car off but
stayed in his seat, as did I.

"I had a great time tonight."
I said with a big smile, facing him.
"Apart from being cold from the rain, it was a perfect evening."

"I'm glad you think so. I had a great time, too."
Seo Joon replied mirroring my smile.
"I'll call you, maybe we can do this again?"

I nodded.
"I would love that. Or maybe if you're free tomorrow, you can
meet me for lunch somewhere?"

"I'll make sure I can meet you. Tell me when
and where."
he replied instantly and I sighed, softly biting my lip.

"You look pretty great with your hair and shirt all wet,
you know."
I mumbled and blushed.
"It's quite unfair."

He chuckled.
"Thank you but why is it unfair?"

"Because you shouldn't look like that when you're soaked.
I mean, look at me. I definitely don't look like you do."
I said pointing at him.
"You look like you came off a runway."

"I think you look beautiful, Moon."
Seo Joon and I huffed.

"I look like I've just fallen in the pond."

His hand touched my cheek as he slowly ran his thumb over
my cheek.
"No, you don't."

There was silence between us before he leaned over and gently
placed his lips on mine. I was slightly surprised but managed to
compose myself quite easy. I lingered for a while before breaking
the kiss and opening the door.

"Thanks for tonight. I'll text you tomorrow. Drive safe and please
let me know when you've arrived home?"
I asked and Seo Joon nodded before saying goodbye.

I got out of the car and hurriedly made my way inside of the building
to get to my apartment and take that very needed hot shower.
I hadn't expected the kiss as much as I should, thinking back.
He kept telling me I looked beautiful and that he had a nice night
but I didn't really expect him to kiss me just yet.

I was overthinking everything in the shower, the best place to
get my thoughts in order but I couldn't feel like something
was nagging at me. I just couldn't figure out what it was.
After replying to Seo Joon who'd texted me that he was home
and a short conversation with Yoongi, I went to bed and slept.

---

The next day, Seo Joon and I indeed met up for lunch. I felt my
stomach do a somersault when I saw him walk over in his suit,
looking extremely handsome.

"Don't you look handsome in that suit."
I said before I gave him a kiss on his cheek.

He chuckled.
"Comes with the job, I'm afraid."

"Well, you look great. I love the tie. It brings our your
eyes."
I said as we made our way inside of the restaurant we
were having lunch.

"Thank you. You look great yourself."
he said and I chuckled.

"Just jeans and tshirt. I can do better than that."

"No need, you still look stunning."
he replied and I waved my hands.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. So how's work today?"
I asked and we started to talk but I was interrupted
by my phone ringing.

"Oh, it's Yoongi. Do you mind if I take it?"

Seo Joon was fine with it so I answered the call.
"My favourite human being in the world, how have you been
this fine day?"

Yoongi chuckled.
"You're happy today."

"I always am. I'm having lunch though and I have company
so what's up?"
I asked with a wink at Seo Joon.

"Who are you with?"
Yoongi asked and I just knew that he already knew.

"Seo Joon. We are having the best meal right now and I
could bring you some but I don't want to."

"What, are you with him again?!"
he asked, a little flabberghasted.

"Yes, I am. So what's up?"
I wanted to know.

"I wanted to ask if you had time to come over tonight.
There's something I want to talk to you about. But if Seo Joon
is there then maybe it's best if we do it another time."
he mumbled.

"What? Don't be silly, I can-"

"It's fine, Moon. I'll see you later. Never mind. Have a nice
day."
Yoongi sighed and then hung up on me.

I frowned and lowered the phone.

"Is everything okay?"
Seo Joon asked and I scrunched my nose.

"Not entirely sure."
I sent Yoongi a quick text, asking if he was okay
and then put the phone away.
"But let's not dwell on that. So, I was listening
to you talking about the best coffee you've ever tasted?"

Seo Joon chuckled and began where he left off but there
was a bit of unease in my stomach at Yoongi's reaction. I didn't
understand it at all.

When lunch time was over, we said our goodbyes and went
back to work. I was a little worried though; Yoongi hadn't
contacted me again and when I called him he wouldn't answer.

I was deep in thought when I was making my way home, just
having picked up my hot chocolate. It bothered me so much that
Yoongi didn't reply to me or call me back after I'd left him multiple
messages to ask if he was okay.

The situation made me more and more frustrated, the more I thought
about it. So when, after the tenth call, he still didn't pick up, I scoffed and
called Seo Joon to see if he wanted to meet up with me. He did so I told
him to come over and it took him less than an hour to be at my apartment.

I let him in and decided then and there that I was going to
have a good time, trying not to think about Yoongi and why
he would act like he did.

So, when he kissed me after a while, I happily returned it.
His lips were hot and heavy on mine and I felt completely
at ease at the way he was holding my body against his.
His shirt and my shirt were discarded soon enough, while
we made our way to my bedroom.

---

It had been about a week since Seo Joon and I first met up
at my apartment. It hadn't been the only time he came around
and I had also been at his place. We would eat, watch a movie
and mostly end up in the bedroom. It wasn't a relationship yet
but I found myself wanting to be with him alot.

Yoongi had been absent but I hadn't given up yet. I was
calling him everyday and leaving him messages, trying to
be my normal self. The response was quite pathetic, he wasn't
his normal self but he'd made it clear that he needed some
space for a while so that's what I wanted to do for him.

After about ten days, I couldn't take it anymore and went
over to his apartment on a friday evening. When I knocked
on the door, I waited for a while but there was no one to answer.
I called him and heard the phone ring from behind the door so
I pounded on the door again.

"You should've muted your phone, Yoongs. Come on,
let me in!"
I said while raising my voice and keeping up the pounding.

When, after a few minutes, the door opened, I saw a sleepy
Yoongi and he grunted before turning around and allowing me
to step inside and follow after him.

"You look like shit."
I said, taking in his appearance.

"It's good to see you, too."
he said as he downed the drink that was in his
hand.

"Are you drunk?"
I asked and saw a half opened bottle of Whisky on the
table.

"I'm not drunk, I had fallen asleep and now I am taking
my first drink of the day."
he replied before filling up his glass and downing it
again.
"That's number two."

"Honestly Yoongi, what's going on? I haven't seen you in ages.
You're ignoring most of my messages and all of my calls.. Are you
mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"
I asked, stepping closer.
"I don't know what I did."

"I'm fine. How about you?"
he mumbled as he sat down.

"You don't look fine. You look extremely unhappy."
I said as I sat down next to him.
"Please, talk to me?"

He sighed, grabbed the bottle and poured himself
another drink.
"I can't, Moon. Not this time."

It felt like a punch in my stomach.
"Why not?"

He placed his head in his hands and then ran his fingers through
his hair, stopping at his neck.
"Because I just can't."

We sat in silence for a while until I turned to face him and placed
my hand on his shoulder.
"I'm here if you can. I'll always be here."

"Unless Seo Joon calls, of course."
he said with a bitter undertone.

"Seo Joon? What does he have to do with anything?"
I asked, confused.
"Is there something he did?"

"Never mind, I shouldn't have said anything."
Yoongi replied, and now taking a swig from the bottle.
"Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be out and about,
frolicking with perfect Mr. Park?"

I huffed.
"What the hell, Yoongs. That's unfair."

"Oh I'm being unfair? Tell me you haven't frolicked."
he said, looking me dead in the eyes.

"What does it even mean?"

"You slept with him, didn't you?"
he asked then and I saw the look in his eyes.

It worried me quite a bit, certainly after I saw him down
another Whisky.

"Why is that relevant?"

"You can't answer a question with a question. Also,
you're avoiding an answer so it's definitely yes."
He chuckled.
"That was fast."

"Maybe I should just leave if you're gonna be like this.
I came here to talk, to help if you needed any but if
you're just gonna sit here and talk to me about the choices
I make.. They're mine to make and no one else's. Besides,
unlike someone I know, he's been very nice and kind to me."
I said as I stood up and looked at Yoongi.
"When you're done being an asshole, you know where to
find me."

I walked over to the door and opened it before I heard a
small sniff from the couch. I turned around and saw Yoongi
hunched over, his head in his hands.

"Yoongs?"
I asked, closing the door again.
"Are you.."

I walked over, sat down in front of him and gently pulled his
hands from his face. His eyes were full of sorrow and pain.
My mouth fell open slightly in shock and then I wrapped my
arms around him as tight as I could.

I had no idea what was going on but I did know that he needed
someone to hold him and be with him. I'd been that person for
many years and I wasn't planning on stopping now.

He seemed calm enough after a while and I leaned back,
looking at him. I placed my hands on the side of his face gently
and made him look at me.

"Talk to me, Yoongs. Please. I can't help you if you don't
tell me what's wrong and I hate seeing you like this."
I said, looking into his chocolate brown eyes.
"Let me help."

He sighed.
"I don't think you can, Moon. Not this time."

I frowned but then nodded.
"Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm just tired, that's all."
he mumbled and I smiled at him.

"So let's get you into bed."

I stood up and helped him up, too. The Whisky had definitely taken
an effect on him, he was stumbling quite a bit. I wrapped
an arm around his waist and pulled one of his arms around
my shoulders to walk him over to the bedroom.

I sat him down on the bed, pulled off his shirt, shoes and socks
before pushing him down on his pillow gently and tucking him in.
Looking at him under the blankets, I felt my heart go out to him.
I didn't know what to do so I just sat down on the bed,
gently running my hands through his hair.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me.
"Why are you still here?"

I looked down and smiled.
"Because that's what I do, remember? I take care of you whenever
you feel low or sad. You might tell me that I can't help you but
I can. Maybe not the way I would like to but I know how to
calm you down a bit. If that's all I can do for now, I'll gladly do it."

"Lay down with me."
he said then so I pulled off my shoes, my shirt
and bra but kept on my tank top and my pants.

I got under the blankets with him and faced him as he was
slowly falling asleep.

"Moon?"
he asked after a minute.

"Mhm?"

"I'm sorry."
he said, opening his eyes a bit.
"I haven't been a very good friend lately."

"It's okay, Yoongs."

"It's not and I'm sorry."
he said, grabbing my hand in his.
"Sometimes I don't know how to be your friend
anymore."

I frowned.
"What do you mean?"

"I love you, Moon."
he mumbled as he pulled our intertwined hands to his lips
and gently placed his lips against my hand.

"I love you, too."
I said a little confused. He never really said it without a good
reason.

"But do you see me?"
he asked.

I remained silent for a while.
"I do."

"Will you love me, Moon?"

"I already do, Yoongs."
I replied, getting more confused by the second.

"No, you don't."
he said with a sigh and I didn't know how to respond
anymore. I heard Yoongi's breath even out and become
heavier, indicating that he had fallen asleep. I turned on
my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to understand what
Yoongi was telling me but I couldn't.

---

When I woke up the next day, Yoongi was still asleep.
His arm had found it's way around my waist and our noses were
almost touching. I moved back a bit what made Yoongi stir
and wake up, as well.

"Hey."
I whispered.
"How are you feeling?"

He groaned in response before pulling me closer and
burying his face in my neck.
"I have a headache."

"Well, you did drink alot in a very short amount
of time yesterday."
I replied and placed my arm over his.
"Other than that, how do you feel?"

"Fine."

"Can we maybe talk about last night for a minute?"
I asked.

"Now?"

I sighed.
"No, I guess not specifically now."

I stared at the ceiling once again until Yoongi unburied his
face from my neck and placed his head on the pillow again.
"What do you want to talk about?"

"It's okay, we don't have to do it now."
I asked as I got out of bed.
"I have to go, anyway."

"Moon-"

"Forget it, Yoongi. We can do it some other time."
I replied and walked over to his bathroom to get myself
cleaned up a little.

When I was done, I walked over to his kitchen, drank some water
and while Yoongi walked into the living room too, I sighed.
"I'm not mad or anything okay? It's just that.. If you don't
want to talk about it now, that's fine. We'll talk later, yeah?"

"Yeah, sure."
he said, looking at me with a sad look.
"You can't hang out today?"

"No, I'm sorry."
I replied, not telling him why but he guessed anyway.

"Seo Joon?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat I felt when I saw him
frown when he said his name.

"Yeah."
I cleared my throat.
"I think that if you met him that maybe you would like
him, Yoongs. He's very sweet and very caring towards me."

"Yeah, maybe."
he just said and sat down on the sofa.
"See you later."

I nodded.
"Bye Yoongs."

I walked out of the apartment and down to my place where
I found Seo Joon leaning against his car.

"Seo Joon?"
I asked and he smiled.

"Hey."

"You're early?"
I asked as I walked over to him and gently placed my lips
on his cheek.
"I thought we were supposed to meet at your place?"

"We did."
he replied as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my
forehead.
"But I was bored and figured I'd see if you were up for breakfast,
too."

I smiled.
"Yeah, that sounds good. Been here long?"

"About ten minutes. Where've you been?"
he asked as we made our way op to my apartment.

"At Yoongi's place."
I answered.

"You stayed over?"
he wanted to know and I nodded.

"Yeah, I kind of fell asleep. He had a bit to drink and
wasn't feeling too great. I put him in bed, we talked a
bit and then we both fell asleep."
I explained, walking inside of my apartment.

He frowned.
"Is he okay?"

I shrugged.
"Not sure. I tried to talk to him this morning but something's up
and I can't seem to figure out what."

"Maybe give him some space? You've been friends for a long
time, maybe he just needs to figure some stuff out without
anyone trying to help him?"
Seo Joon asked, placing a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Sometimes people need work things out on their own."

I nodded.
"I know. I just hate seeing him like this. And I can't shake the
feeling that somehow, I have something to do with it. It drives
me nuts."

"Well, since when has he been acting like this?"
Seo Joon asked.

"I don't know, about a week or two?"

"Ever since I came in the picture."
he said then and I frowned.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. I don't know why,
though. He hasn't met you so he can't not like you."
I replied.

"Maybe he's afraid that you won't be as invested in your
friendship? Maybe he sees me as some kind of threat?
I'd be happy to talk to him if you think that helps."

I smiled at him.
"I don't think it'll help anything but it's very sweet of you
to suggest it. "

I sighed.
"But why would he see you as a threat?"

"Because I'm a man and I've caught your attention?"
he asked and I chuckled.

"That, you have."
I said and placed my lips on his for a soft, sweet kiss.
"How about that breakfast?"

He smiled.
"Hmm.. Maybe some excersize beforehand so we can have
a big breakfast?"

He placed his hand behind my head and pulled my lips to his
and I greedily pulled him to me.

"That's an even better idea."
I mumbled against his lips before I pushed him backwards into my
bedroom.

---

That day was spent mostly at my house, eating and watching
movies. We spent a good amount in the bedroom too. When he
left for the night, I went to bed and slept quite well until
I was awoken by my phone going off.

I groaned but when I looked at the caller, I picked up without
hesitation.
"Yoongs? Why are you calling in the middle of the night?"

"I'm at your door."
he just said before hanging up.

I stared at my phone for a minute before I heard knocking
and realized that he was actually here. I groaned but still got up
and opened the door for him.

"Why in the name of all that is holy are you here at this
ungodly hour?!"
I asked, exasparated.
"I was very much asleep."

"I'm sorry, I know this is probably the most stupid thing
I've ever done but I can't wait any longer. We need to talk."
Yoongi said as he pushed past me to walk inside my apartment.

"Well, sure. Come on in."
I mumbled as I wiped my eyes.
"Do you want-"

"I need you to listen first, Moon."
he said, clenching and unclenching his hands.

"Okay. You look nervous."
I said as I stood across from him.

"I do?"
he asked with a humorless chuckle.

"Yeah, like you're about to drop a bomb on me. Do I need
to sit down?"
I asked, a little worried at my friends demeanor.

"You can. You can stand, whatever you want."
he replied as he started pacing and rubbing his neck.

"So, the reason I've been.. off. I've been feeling incredibly low and
incredibly sad for a few weeks now and at first, I couldn't put
my finger on it. I just didn't understand what it could be until
I heard you talk about Seo Joon in the way that you did. And do."
he looked at me and stopped walking for a minute.

Then he resumed his walking and started to talk again.
"I was fine with how things were before you told me you
met someone at the coffee shop. And I've thought long and
hard about this, that's why I haven't been the best friend lately."

"I'm not sure I follow."
I said but he held his hand up.

"Wait, let me finish."
He clenched his fists again.
"I think that subconsciously I always knew this but I didn't
know how to tell you so I just shut myself off to it and went
on the way we were but the truth is.."

He was looking for words.

"The truth is?"
I wanted to know.

He took a deep breath, looked at me and I saw his shoulders
slump.
"The truth is that I care about you, alot. And I've been so happy
when it was just us and I think that I thought that maybe you didn't
need anyone else. Because I don't. I only want you with me."

"You.. Are you.. What?"
I asked, not really keeping up with what he was trying to say.

"I didn't want to risk our friendship but it's eating me inside
ever since you've met Seo Joon. I'm sure he's a great guy but
I don't want you to be with him. Because I want you all to myself,
how selfish that might sound. I love you, Moon. And not just as a
friend but I've been in love with you for a long time."

My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't utter another word.

"And now you've met Seo Joon and I'm probably too late
to tell you this. And maybe it's not what you want to hear but
it's the truth."

I was staring in the distance, not knowing how to react or what
to say. How was I supposed to cope with this when I always
thought that we were just friends and nothing more. That we were
a perfect example of a boy and a girl just being friends without it
being complicated.

"I'm-"
I started but I was a little out of breath.

"I understand if you don't know what to say, Moon. I'll
leave."
Yoongi said then and walked past me but I grabbed his arm.

"You can't leave, not like that."
I said and I heard my own voice shaking.
"You can't leave me here after you've just told me all this."

He looked at me and nodded.
"Okay, I'll stay."

I was shaking from head to toe, not knowing what to do.
My breathing became a little irratic and Yoongi looked
worriedly at me.

"Moon, take a deep breath for me."
he said, voice stern.

"But Yoongi-"
I said.

"Do it."

I breathed in through my nose and out through my
mouth. I repeated it a few more times before my heart
and my breathing was slowly back to it's normal pace.

All the while, Yoongi was staring into my eyes and I
was staring into his. I felt my eyes tear up and Yoongi
sighed before wrapping his arms around me.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same, Moon. I don't expect
you to. I just needed you to know."
he said while softly caressing my hair.
"I never expected this to happen, either. I was fine as your
friend. But I can't deny that I feel something more for you, now."

"But what changed?"
I asked while holding on to him for dear life.

"I don't know. You've always just been you but I guess that
recently, I've been seeing you. Really seeing you. How sweet
you are and how you care for me. How you love me unconditionally,
no matter how much of a jerk I am. How much I just enjoy being
with you without it being awkward or weird. All those things have
just made me fall in love with you."
he admitted.
"I am not going to find this with anyone else, Moon."

"You don't know that."
I replied and he chuckled.

"I kind of do. You were right in front of me, all this time.
I can't believe that I haven't seen you sooner. I'm sorry."
he mumbled in my hair.

"You don't have to say sorry for anything, Yoongs."

We stayed in each others' embrace for a long time.
I broke away eventually, taking a small step back
but holding on to his shirt.

"So what now?"
I asked, unsure of what to do.

"And now, nothing. You have Seo Joon and I will find
a way to deal with it. It might take a while though so don't
give up on me any time soon."
he said with a sad smile.
"I just have to accept it."

"Accept what?"
I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Everything."

I felt my heart break for him.
"I don't know how I feel."

He shrugged.
"That's fine. I understand. I could strangle myself for making
things complicated between us but I really thought that I owed
you an explanation as to why I was distant all of a sudden. It's not
your fault, it's all mine."

"I don't think it's anybody's fault. You can't help the way you feel."
I said and he scrunched his nose.
"Don't do that. It's cute and makes me want to squish your cheeks."

Yoongi chuckled and took a step towards me and kissed my
forehead before wrapping his arms around me once more.
"I think it's best if I go, now. You have a lot to think about and
I don't want to be in your way."

"Oh, can't you stay?"
I asked, pleading.
"It's late anyway and you're here now."

"What about Seo Joon?"
he asked and I saw his face change instantly.

"What about him?"

"Won't he be upset that I'm staying the night?"
Yoongi wanted to know.

"I don't know. But I do know that I need you here right now
so if he doesn't like it, he can talk to me about it. It's my decision.
And he's not my boyfriend so I can do what I want with whoever
I want."
I mumbled.

Yoongi smiled.
"Okay, I'll stay. I thought for sure by now that you were
together already."

I sighed.
"We're not. Besides, he's leaving in a few months so I don't
know if that's the best thing anyway. He's only here for his
job because he lives in Seoul. That's almost two hours away."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"No, you were too busy falling in love with me."
I said and shoved his shoulder playfully.
"You never asked me anything about him."

"That's because I really don't want to know what you've
been up to, with him. It's hard for me to be happy for you
at the moment but I promise that I'm trying."
he said with a small shrug.

"But what about when I was with Minho?"
I asked as I was thinking back.
"You've never like him either."

He thought about it for a while and then gave me an apologetic
smile.
"I think that's because I was jealous of him and the way
he could kiss you and hold you whenever he wanted. It's
the same now, with Seo Joon only now I know what it is."

I felt a blush on my cheeks.
"But.. That means that you would.. You want to do that
with me, too?"

He cleared his throat and his hand flew to his neck, a nervous
habit of his.
"Ultimately, yes."

I nodded in silence, a little lost for words.

"How about a drink?"
I asked after a minute or so.

Yoongi nodded.
"Yeah. A drink would be good."

I smiled at him and grabbed some drinks for us. He always made
sure he had some Whisky at my place and although I didn't really
drink it, I was in a state of not giving a damn. So I decided I would
drink some, too.

We had a good night, drinking and talking. In the end we fell asleep
in my bed and I remember holding him tight. I didn't want anything
to change but I had a feeling everything already had. I desperately
held on to him, hoping that we would remain friends like we always
had. I couldn't lose my Yoongi.

---

A week went by and then another one and I just noticed
that I wasn't my ususal self. Seo Joon came over every now
and then but I just wasn't completely present when he was
there. Yoongi kept popping up in my head whenever I was
with him and I almost felt guilty for finding someone when
I knew how Yoongi felt. It was eating me up from the inside
and I didn't know what to do.

Also, I'd been thinking about our future and had realized
that we really didn't have one. Not together anyway. Seo Joon
was great and he was an amazing guy. But I couldn't be with
him the way that I should be, if we'd start a real relationship.

"You haven't eaten anything, Moon. What's wrong?"
Seo Joon asked and I sighed.

"I'm just not hungry, that's all."

"You haven't been hungry for days, I'm starting to worry
about you. Is everything okay?"
he asked, a frown on his handsome face.

"Yeah, I'm-"
I started but decided that lying wasn't an option anymore.

I bit my lip before answering his question, truthfully.
"Okay, no. I don't feel all that great, to be honest."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"
he wanted to know and I shook my head.

"Nah, I don't think you can but thanks for asking.
I think that maybe.. Maybe it's best if we just take it
slow from now on. I'm not exactly in a happy place and
I don't want to bother you."
I replied, as I looked into his eyes.

"But-"

"I know, we're having a nice time. And yes, you're great
and you're very handsome. Not to mention a very good kisser
among other things.. But you're leaving in a few months and
I'm not looking for a long distance thing."
I said and I knew in my heart that is was the truth.

It was only half of it but it was definitely on my mind.
He was leaving, no doubt about it and he'd mentioned that
he'd never leave Seoul. I, on the other hand, had everything
in Daegu, including Yoongi. I would never just up and leave
for some guy I'd met.

"Is this maybe about Yoongi, too?"
he asked after a few silent minutes.

"Honestly, yes. He's told me about his feelings and now
I am so very confused. I don't know what to do and it's
not fair to you or him if I keep doing what I'm doing now.
You deserve better."
I replied and I felt a kind of sorrow in my heart. But also
some sort of relief.
"I am very conflicted at the moment."

He nodded.
"I can see it in your eyes. But can I be completely honest?"

I nodded and he took a deep breath before talking.

"I think you're right when it comes to us. We're having fun and
I really like you alot. I adore you even."

"But?"
I asked, knowing what he would say.

"I think that we would be very unhappy if we'd decided
to even try the long distance thing and I completely
understand that you don't want to move to Seoul. I don't
want to move here. So there's a decision to make but I think
we both know what that will be. I was hoping to delay it a bit,
though. I really like being with you."
Seo Joon said with a sad smile.

I nodded.
"I like being around you, too. Very much, actually."

"It's a shame that we're both too stubborn to move
somewhere else."
he replied with a chuckle and I grinned as well.
"Even so, you've raised the standards for any future
dates for sure."

"Yeah, I'm awesome like that. I'm a very good date to have."
I said with a grin and Seo Joon laughed.

"This is exactly why you definitely are."
he said and then grabbed my hand in his.
"Can I see you again, though? I'd like to remain friends
if you're up for that."

I nodded.
"Without a doubt. You're good company to keep. I like
talking to you."

"The feeling is mutual."
he squeezed my hand before releasing it.
"So.. What are you going to do about Yoongi?"

I frowned.
"I have no idea. I never expected him to tell me that
he felt the way he did and I'm so confused."

"So, give it some time. You've been friends for so long..
Maybe time is all you need to figure things out."
he replied, before taking a bite of his ramen.
"But before you do anything else, eat. You've hardly been
eating and I won't take no for an answer."

I rolled my eyes.
"Fine, fine. I'll eat."

I took a bite.
"Happy now?"

"Extremely."
he replied and I chuckled.

"Hey, Seo Joon?"

"Hm?"
he asked and I smiled at him, thankfully.

"Thanks. For everything."
I said and he frowned a bit before he smiled.

"Of course. You, too."

I gave him a nod and the rest of the meal we talked
about everything and nothing, both knowing that this was
it for us as a 'couple'.

I was grateful that he was so open and talkative, it made
it so easy to tell him what was on my mind. I'd fallen in love
with him a little bit and I think that I'd always feel that way
about him. But it wasn't enough for the both of us and I was
happy we'd spoken about it and he was handling it so well.

All I had to do now was to figure out what to do about
Yoongi and his feelings.

---

I was at my home when there was a knock on the door.
Already expecting Yoongi, I opened the door and let him
in with the food he'd gotten for both of us.

"I haven't seen you in ages!"
I exclaimed, giving him a quick hug that he only half
accepted.

"You've seen me two days ago."
he replied and I rolled my eyes.

"My point exactly. A Yoongi a day keeps the doctor
away, I always say."

"You never say that."
he said with a shove against my shoulder, gently.

"I did just now. Want anything to drink?"
I asked as I walked over to my fridge.

He made a noise in agreement so I grabbed us both
a coke and sat down before digging in. I didn't eat much, still.
But some of my stress had been relieved after I'd had the
talk with Seo Joon so I was on the right path.

I decided I wasn't going to drink much but Yoongi soon
found the Whisky. It was a friday after all, Yoongi liked
to drink a bit in the weekends to ease some of his stress
that came with the job.

After his third glass, he was getting a bit tipsy and wanted me to
drink as well and I agreed to one. One Whisky would be enough to
let me relax some more before heading off to bed.

"You drove here?! Yoongs, why are you drinking then?"
I asked when he was about to stand up to make his way
out.

"Well, I can walk home just fine."
he mumbled and I saw him walk.
"See? I'm good."

"Walk in a straight line."

"Yah! I'm fine, Moonie."
he said, running his hands through his hair.
"I don't need to walk a straight line to my house anyway,
as long as I get there."

"I am not letting you walk the streets like this, you might
get hurt. There's absolutely no way."
I said feeling steady on my feet.

"I'm not twelve, you know. If I say I can do it, I can
do it."
he mumbled looking at me with his nose scrunched.

"So stop arguing like a child and accept that you're staying
here, who cares?! It's not like you've never stayed over before."
I replied as I stood up and walked over to him.
"Just stay."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, though.
What would Seo Joon say? And besides, it might be
a bit difficult to not do anything stupid now I've had
something to drink and I don't want things to become
awkward between us."
Yoongi said with a little worry in his voice.

I smiled.
"I'm sure we'll be fine. And as for Seo Joon, that's
over. We both decided that it was best to just break
it off now when we both knew that there really wasn't
a future for us."

Yoongi frowned.
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?"

"No, you're not and I'm fine."
I replied with a chuckle.

"I am sorry! I want you to be happy and if that's with
Seo Joon than I want it to be with Seo Joon."

I looked him in the eyes and he kept his eyes locked on
mine so I could really see he wasn't lying.

"Thanks, Yoongs."
I said and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"But I'm fine and I don't think that I will be more
happy when I'm with Seo Joon. He's really nice and all
but.. It's not gonna work."

He'd wrapped his arms around me and buried his nose
in my hair.
"You haven't changed your shampoo."

I smiled.
"Of course not. You made me promise."

He hummed and seemed content with my answer.
We stayed like that for a while, his heart beating a bit
faster at first but slowly calming down to it's regular pace.
I could feel it through his shirt because my head was close
to it.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now,
Moon."
he mumbled after a while.

My stomach did a backflip and my heart skipped a beat.
He'd never said anything like this to me and I was kind
of blaming the alcohol as well but still. It was a strange
yet somehow comforting sensation to hear him say that.

I didn't know what to say but squeezed him a bit
tighter and he did, as well.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't say stuff like that."
he said after a minute or so.

"It's okay."
I replied, softly.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't make it weird for you."

I sighed and took a small step back.
"It's never gonna be weird with you, really. You're my
Yoongi and I'll always be too close for comfort, whether
you like it or not."

He smiled as he placed a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'll hold you to that."

"You probably won't remember in the morning so sure,
you should."

"I'm not that drunk."

I chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose.
"Sure, you're not."

I walked over to my bedroom and grabbed the clothes I would
be sleeping in before exiting and making my way over to
my bathroom.

"I'll be out in a sec, I'm gonna take a quick shower."
I announced before I closed the door.

I rinsed myself, didn't bother to wash my hair and was
out and dressed in ten minutes. I walked out in my sleeping
outfit and walked into an empty living room.

"Yoongs?"
I asked and figured that he might be in my bedroom.

I walked over and found him on the left side of the bed,
clothes on and beanie still on his head. He was on his side,
his hands tucked between his legs and I smiled. He was
definitely asleep. I walked over, pulled the beanie off
his head and pulled his shoes off before crawling
under the sheets myself.

"Boo."
he said after a while what made me jump.

"Yah!"

Yoongi chuckled at my shocked face and I could only
scowl at him.

"Not funny."

"It kind of was."
he said with a glint in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes.
"You suck."

"You know that's a lie. I'm a genius, you know that."
he replied as he sat up and pulled his shirt over
his head before getting rid of his pants.

He crawled under the blankets as well and faced my way.
It was something he alway did whenever I stayed over, I'd
seen him in his underwear on more occasions than I could count
and it didn't phase me at all.

"I'm really sorry things didn't work out between you and
Seo Joon, Moon. You know that right?"
he asked then, biting his lip.

I shrugged.
"Yeah, of course. I wouldn't want you to be sad either
so I get where you're coming from. But it's okay."

He just nodded before closing his eyes. I grabbed his hand under
the covers and held it in mine, intertwining our fingers.

"I'm happy when you are, Yoongs. And I realized that ever since
you told me how you felt, I haven't been happy. I was afraid
that maybe I'd hurt you too much by going out with Seo Joon
and I just couldn't go through with it."

He opened his eyes and looked at me for the longest time.
"I hope you'll find someone who's good to you, someday."

I didn't expect him to say that, brushing aside his own feelings
for me like that. I swallowed a lump in my throat before I
released his hand and placed mine on his cheek.

When he told me that he actually, finally saw me for
the first time, I didn't know what he meant. I knew now.
It was like there was this layer that had peeled away and in
front of me was the most caring man I'd ever met. He was
there for me when I needed him and things were never
forced between us.

While looking at his face, it was like I saw it for the first time.
Soft, pink lips and chocolate brown eyes with the best smile I'd
ever seen. Because when Yoongi smiled his biggest gummy smile,
you knew he wasn't faking it. And I knew I would never find anyone
good enough for me because Yoongi was everything I was looking
for in a man.

"I already have, though."
I said as realization hit me.

"Hm?"
he asked, a little sleepy.
"You what?"

"I've already found someone who's good to me."
I said.

"You have?"
he asked, eyes open wide now.

"Yeah, he's pretty great."
I mumbled as I ran my hand through his hair.
"Pretty great, indeed."

He sighed.
"I don't want to jump to conclusions here but.. I'm kind of
hoping you're talking about me and I just need to know that
you're not just saying this for me."

"I would never do that, you know me."
I said and placed my hand in his again.
"I understand now, what you said about seeing me for
the first time."

His eyes turned hopeful.
"You do?"

"Yeah. I've never realized how good you are to me and
that, honestly, I always compare anyone I meet to you and
they always lose."

There was a small blush on his cheeks now but
he didn't look away.

"So, how about.. We just go out someplace. Have fun, do what we
always do and you let me figure out if what we have, could be more
than this?"
I asked after a few silent seconds.

"Are you sure though? I don't want-"
he started but I cut him off.

"Yes, I am. I want to. And not just because you told me how
you feel and to lead you on. I want to."

He gave me a hopeful smile.
"Then I think it's a very good idea. Maybe we could go out
somewhere tomorrow?"

I nodded.
"I'd like that. We'll figure it out tomorrow, yeah? You should
sleep, you had a crazy week."

"Mhm. Good night, Moonie."
he mumbled before closing his eyes and squeezing
my hand.

"Good night, Yoongs."
I said before also closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

---

It had been about a week or so after we decided to see where
we could take our relationship. Things didn't change much, we
just hung out whenever we could, like we'd always done. The only
thing that did change was how I looked at Yoongi. I saw a certain
look in his eyes when he looked at me, too. It took me some time
to realize that the look in his eyes was infatuation, maybe even love.

We were currently doing some shopping for dinner when we ran
into Seo Joon.

"Moon? Hey! I haven't seen you in a while, how've you been?"
Seo Joon asked as he hugged me.

I hugged him back with a smile.
"Hey! You know, busy. Same old, same old."

"You must be Yoongi? Moon has told me alot about you."
Seo Joon said as he extended his hand.

For a nervous moment, I was worried that Yoongi wouldn't
accept it but he did while greeting the man in front of
him.

I smiled at Yoongi and he gave me a small wink that went
unnoticed by Seo Joon.

"How have you been?"
I asked and Seo Joon shrugged.

"Fine, really. We should meet up again, soon. I finished
the show you told me to watch and I'm desperate for more.
Also, I found this really good book you might like."
he said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, that would be nice. I'm a little busy this week though,
maybe next week? You should text me."
I replied and Seo Joon nodded.

"I will. Anyway, I best be off. Have a great evening. Nice
to meet you, Yoongi."
Seo Joon bowed with a small smile and I did the same.

"You, too."
Yoongi said, also bowing his head slightly.

I watched Seo Joon walk off and I let out a breath I'd
unconsciously held.
"Well, that went better than expected."

"He's very handsome."
Yoongi said with a frown.
"Why did you break it off again?"

My eyes widened.
"I'm not one to just go for a nice face, thank you very much.
Besides, you know why."

"Yeah, of course but he's so.."
Yoongi said as he looked at the shelves with ramen.
"He's very good looking. Kind of looks like he works out,
too."

"He does, so?"
I asked.

Yoongi sighed and then shrugged.
"Never mind."

I looked at him for a while before speaking up.
"He's not more handsome than you are. You guys are handsome
in different ways."

"Yeah, sure."
he mumbled with a scrunched nose.

"Yoongi."
I made him face me by placing my hand on his cheek and applying
a little pressure.
"What's going on?"

He looked down at his shoes while I lowered my hand.
"I'm just worried you made a mistake, that's all. He looks like
he knows what he's doing. He looks nothing like me but yet
you're here with me instead of him. Now that I've actually
seen Seo Joon, I can't help but wonder if this is really what
you want or if this is something you want to do for me."

He faced me again with a slight blush on his cheeks.
"I just think that maybe I'm not good enough. Not when someone
like him might have feelings for you."

"Have you ever considered that I've compared him to you and
he lost?"
I asked, feeling sad that he thought of himself that way.

"No,but-"

"Because he did. I told you, I compare everyone to you
and I meant it and even if I didn't, please don't ever say
that you might not be good enough. It hurts me when you
think about yourself like this. You're a great guy, Yoongs.
And he might look different and work out but that doesn't
make you any less than him."
I said as I grabbed one of his hands in mine.
"If you saw yourself the way I saw you, you wouldn't doubt
yourself for one second, you know."

Yoongi looked at our hands and then into my eyes.
He didn't say anything for a while before he gave me
a soft, sweet smile.
"We still haven't chosen what we're going to eat."

"Something simple."
I replied and he nodded.

"Don't have to make it anymore complicated than we need
to, right?"

I shook my head.

"Then ramen it is."
Yoongi said.

His hand was still in mine and I realized I quite liked it.
It made me think about how things would be if we would
put a label on whatever it is that we were now.

We bought what we needed to and then walked over to
his apartment. When Yoongi paid for our food, his hand had
left mine but when we were outside I quickly returned the
warmth of his palm against mine.

He looked at me with a grin and I did the same before
looking ahead of us, trying to hide the redness of my
face.

Arriving at his place, we ate and were about to turn on
the tv when I decided I wanted to go on a walk.
Yoongi protested at first but agreed eventually.
We decided to go the park and make a nice walk there
because I really loved going to it. Yoongi did, too but I always
had to convince him to get out and enjoy the weather while
we could. Besides, the lights would turn on soon and the
park was even more beautiful, then.

As we were walking, I saw the big tree that we had been
under back in the day when Seo Joon first noticed me.
I remembered Yoongi's sleeping form and gently running
my fingers through his soft black hair while the sun was
shining. It was a perfect day and I realized then that it
wouldn't have been perfect if it hadn't been for Yoongi.

I squeezed his hand, which was in mine the entire walk.
Our fingers intertwined, I felt utterly safe with him.

"Hm?"
he asked, looking at me.

I smiled and pulled him with me.
"This is definitely the best tree in the park."

"Oh yeah, this has the best shade. I love this tree just
for that."
Yoongi said with a chuckle.

When we were under the canopy of leaves, he was looking
up while I was looking at him. I felt my heart flutter when I took
in his features. His jawline and the shape of his nose. The undercut
I loved so much on him and those beautiful dark brown, chocolate
colored eyes. When he faced me again, I also saw his soft pink
lips and all of a sudden I had the urge to kiss them, just to know
how they would feel against mine.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"
he asked with a small smile.
"Is there something on my face?"

I chuckled and shook my head.
"Other than handsomeness, no."

"Aishhh."
he said while hiding his face and I grinned at his shyness.

"Yoongs?"
I asked after a few beats.

"Hm?"
he asked and looked up at me again.

"Thank you, for everything."

He frowned.
"You're welcome? But what for?"

"For just.. giving it time. Not pushing anything and not
making things awkward in any way. Even though you told
me how you felt, you were so great about it. And now we're
here and I am just really grateful."
I said with a shrug.
"Things could have been very different."

"It never was my intention to make things weird in the first
place and I'm glad that didn't happen. I just needed you to
know because I don't like to keep things from you. So you're
welcome but there's really no need to thank me."
he said as he moved a strand of my hair behind my ear.

His fingertips lingered on my cheek a bit before he lowered his
hand again. I smiled and stepped a bit closer to him.
"I'll always need to be grateful to you for letting me in all those years
ago. You've been the person I could always rely on, no matter
what came my way. I can only hope you feel the same and that
I did my part, the way you did for me."

"You did. You still do."
he replied.

I bit my lip before I took a deep breath and stood on my toes,
bringing my face closer to his. I saw him swallow nervously
before looking from my eyes to my lips. I closed my eyes,
allowed the tips of our noses to touch before I tilted my head
and slowly closing the gap between us.

When my lips touched his, we froze for a moment and I felt my
heart beat faster and faster until I thought that it would
burst out of my chest. I broke the kiss, held my eyes closed for
a few seconds and then opened them. Yoongi's eyes were on
me and I smiled before he did.

It felt like I saw him for the first time and I was exploring
his face with my eyes while he seemed to do the same thing. We were
standing there, just looking at each other for what seemed like
hours. Then, he slowly but firmly placed one hand on my waist,
while he placed the other behind my head and pressed his lips
against mine again. This time, we were both more sure and we
were in our own little bubble.

It started slowly but started to become one of this kisses that
just simply takes your breath away. My hands had found his shirt
and I tried to pull him as close to me as I could. His lips were
moving against mine before I felt his warm tongue on my bottom
lip. I opened my mouth to meet his tongue with mine and it was
like magic. I couldn't suppress a small moan escaping my lips.

When he broke the kiss, I was breathing heavily, my hands still
in his shirt. I took a deep breath and then remembered who I'd just
kissed and got a little self conscious. I buried my head in my face before
leaning against his shoulder. He chuckled while wrapping his arms
around me.

"Are you okay?"
he asked softly while moving his hand up and down my back.

"Very. I just realized that you are Yoongi and we just kissed."
I replied, my voice muffled by my own hands.

"And.. That's a bad thing?"
he asked.

I looked up at him.
"Not at all. But that's just the thing."

He frowned and I blushed.
"I never thought that I would like kissing you so much."

"That's definitely a good thing."
he mumbled, pressing his lips against my forehead.

I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling he gave me and I
only kissed him, twice.

"How could I have not seen you before?"
I mumbled, frowning.
"You were right there."

Yoongi sighed.
"I felt the same way. I think it was because when we
were in high school, we were really different people. We've
grown and we've also grown together. Instead of growing apart,
I think we've found a way to become even closer and maybe we
didn't want to see it, afraid of what would happen. But I'm
not afraid anymore."

I looked into his eyes, the light from the park reflecting in them.
It was like he had stars in his eyes and all I could think of was
that this man, this beautiful man, was here with me and wanted
to be mine.

"I won't be afraid as long as you are with me."
I replied, softly.
"You've always been my safe haven."

Yoongi blushed a bit but didn't look away from me.
"So.. What's next?"

I chuckled.
"I guess it's safe to say that I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you, too."
he said.
"But you already knew that."

I nodded.
"I would like us to be.. more. If that's something you want,
too."

He smiled.
"I definitely want that."

I stood on my toes and placed my lips on his for a quick kiss.

"I would like to call you my boyfriend, if that's okay with you."
I mumbled, still as close to him as I could without actually
kissing him. He wasn't smiling anymore, he was full on beaming
with a shit eating grin on his face.

"I guess that means yes."

"I didn't say anything!"
he exclaimed, still grinning.

"You didn't have to."
I said with a chuckle.
"I've known you long enough to know what that grin means."

He rolled his eyes before wrapping an arm around me and
pulling me in for another kiss. The butterflies were very much
alive in my stomach, finally awake after being asleep for so
long. When he wanted to pull back, I placed my hands on
his cheeks and held him close to me for a while longer,
enjoying the feeling of being so close to someone I loved.

Because love him, I did. Maybe not in the way that I would
but I'd loved him for years. The only thing that would
happen was that it would turn into an even deeper kind of
love.

"Wanna go to my place?"
he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, let's. It's getting a bit chilly anyway."

We started walking, hand in hand, fingers intertwined and
a bounce in my step. Even though we had been friends for so
long I was looking more and more forward to where our
relationship would go, if we could grow even closer together.
I had a feeling that if we kept doing what we had been doing
for the past week, we would be more than okay. Together.