The Space Between Us

26: How Can I Trust It?

Carefully adjusting the position of her arms, Amelia shook her head in awe of the tiny figure who laid in her arms before she looked up, offering Nora, who was sat beside her, a soft smile. She couldn’t quite believe that she was holding her best friend’s baby. She had been looking forwards to it for months, ever since Nora had excitedly blurted out the news that she was expecting, but she still couldn’t quite believe that it had happened. She couldn’t quite get her head around the idea that the tiny baby who slept in her arms was the son of her best friend.

“What do you think?” Nora asked.

Amelia looked back down at the baby, gently adjusting the hat that was sat on his head. “He’s gorgeous, Nora” she cooed “But I am pretty sure that you didn’t need me to tell you that” she added.

Nora shook her head, a beaming smile on her face. “I didn’t” she mused “But that’s not what I was asking you about. I actually asked if you wanted to be his godmother, but clearly you didn’t hear that” she added impishly.

“Sorry” Amelia played along, rolling her eyes “I was kind of busy marvelling at your son” she added.

“Well, you’re listening now” Nora quipped “So what do you say? Do you want to be this little guy’s godmother?” she added.

“You convinced Victor to allow that?” Amelia asked, pushing out a laugh.

Nora’s expression softened a little before she looked down, gently straightening out the feet of the baby’s onesie. “I did” she confirmed “I argued the point that you’ve been my friend for a really long time, and that if, god forbid, something happened to us, there’s no one I would trust with our son more than you. He couldn’t really argue with that, but he did have a condition” she added.

Amelia’s lips quirked upwards into a slightly bitter smile. “Fernando” she murmured.

Nora nodded once. “It’s not going to change anything” she mused “But, when he’s a little bigger, there’s going to be a christening, and I would really love it if it wasn’t a day we remembered for you and Fernando fighting” she added.

“I’ll be on my best behaviour” Amelia mused.

Nora flashed her a grateful smile before the baby let out a soft whimper, causing her to gently scoop him out of Amelia’s arms before she began to slowly walk around the room, trying to soothe him before his whimpers became fully fledged cries. “How are you?” she asked “We’ve not spoken since your birthday dinner” she added.

“You’ve been a little busy” Amelia chirped, tipping her head towards the baby in Nora’s arms.

She hadn’t wanted to intrude. After she had said goodbye to Lionel the morning after her birthday, she had almost run to her phone to ask for Nora’s advice about everything that had happened, but when she had reached it, she had been greeted with the news that Nora had gone into labour, and ever since, she had kept her distance. Nora had enough to worry about with her new baby, she didn’t need Amelia running to her to complain about Fernando or fret about what was happening between her and Lionel.

Nora grinned down at her son. She couldn’t help herself. “That’s true” she quipped “But also, the only people I have spoken to in the last week have been mine and Victor’s parents, and all they want to know is when we’re going to get married, so I am itching to talk about anything else. So, what’s up with you?” she asked.

Amelia busied herself for a second, fiddling with the button on her cardigan before she shrugged, determinedly avoiding Nora’s eyes. “Not much” she quipped “It’s been a long week at work” she added.

Nora nodded her head slowly. “There’s nothing else?” she asked.

Amelia answered with another shrug, a feigned impish smile on her face. “My life isn’t exactly that interesting, Nora” she quipped.

Nora stared at her for a long moment, her eyes scrutinizing her features, before Amelia shook her head, ducking it so that she wasn’t looking up at her friend. “I figured you’d want a break from me and my drama” she quipped “I mean, you’re responsible for a whole human now. I am pretty sure that you don’t need to hear my problems. I can figure them out” she added.

Nora moved to lay the baby down in his cot before she stepped back towards the couch, capturing Amelia’s hand as she sat down. “I appreciate the thought” she quipped “But I am always going to want to be there for you. Just don’t expect me to be up for early coffee mornings. He doesn’t like to sleep at night” she added.

Amelia let out a laugh.

“So?” Nora pressed.

Amelia drew in a breath before she let it out slowly. “I...I kissed Leo” she admitted carefully.

Nora’s face lit up. “Really?” she pressed.

Amelia nodded. “After the dinner for my birthday” she confirmed.

“And?” Nora pressed.

“And nothing” Amelia answered “I kissed him, and then I panicked. He followed me, and we talked it out, and we’re OK, but nothing’s changed” she added.

Nora’s forehead creased, the smile on her face melting into a soft frown. “You kissed him” she pointed out.


“I know what you’re going to say” Nora interrupted “And I understand the caution, but I kissed him for a reason, Lia. You’ve told me before that you like him, and now you’ve kissed him, and I just don’t understand why you’re not trying to make it something” she added, trying to keep her voice soft.

She knew what the reason was. Fernando had done a lot of damage to Amelia. He’d left her unsure of herself, uncertain that she could trust anyone, or even herself, but Nora wanted to try and convince her to take a risk, even if it was a big one. She deserved to find someone who could make her happy.

“You know why” Amelia mumbled.

“So what’s your plan?” Nora asked “You’re just going to do nothing? I know that Fernando hurt you, and I am not saying that you have to miraculously get over it, but if you feel something for Leo, something real, then isn’t it worth taking a risk on? Not every man you meet is going to be a liar. Fernando was a bad guy, Lia. He did a lot of selfish things, but he alone did them. Leo didn’t do them. No one else did. You deserve to meet someone who can make you happy. So why not do it?” she added.

Amelia was quiet for a long moment before she glanced up at Nora. “I’m scared” she admitted “How can I trust it?” she asked.

Nora squeezed her hand gently. “You just do” she mused “I wish I had more to say about it, but it’s just a sort of leap of faith. If you like him, like really like him, then you just...just go for it. I don’t think he’s going to hold it against you if you’re a little unsure at first, Lia. You just need to take a chance” she added, a warm smile on her face.

Amelia nodded her head, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to say out loud that she was going to do something, knowing that there was still a big chance that she wouldn’t. Nora had a point. Fernando wasn’t Lionel, and Fernando’s mistakes weren’t Lionel’s, but it still didn’t feel as straightforward as Nora had made it sound. Amelia was scared and she didn’t know that she was going to stop being scared any time soon.