The Space Between Us
72: This Is Going To Be Easier Than I Thought
“Can I get you something else?”
Amelia, who was poking at half-eaten plate of food in front of her, blinked a couple of times before she picked her head up, looking across the table at her mother who was watching her, trying, and failing, to hide the sympathy in her eyes. She hadn’t hesitated in going to her mother’s home. After what had happened between her and Lionel, she knew that she needed someone to talk to, and she knew that if she showed up at Felicity’s home, it would only be a matter of time before Alexa and Nora followed, and Felicity had obliged. Less than half an hour after she had shown up at her mother’s front door, her sister and best friend had followed, leading to the four of them being sat in Felicity’s kitchen, waiting for someone to ask the question that was on the tip of all of their tongues.
Quirking a tired smile, Amelia shook her head. “It’s lovely” she mused “I’m just not hungry” she added.
Felicity briefly contemplated pushing, but opted it against it. Instead, she moved the plate away from Amelia before she retook her seat, watching as Amelia reached up to push her hair back off of her face tiredly. Lifting her stare, she shared a quick look with Nora and Alexa before looked back at Amelia, letting out a soft sigh. “How is Leo?” she asked. It was a question she knew the answer to, but someone had to break the ice.
Amelia shrugged, looking down at her lap. “Dazed” she replied “It’s caught him completely by surprise, and I don’t think he’s really had enough time to figure out how he’s feeling about it. He’s got a lot of things to think about, so I don’t think it will really hit him for a little while yet” she added.
“What about you?” Nora prodded.
“It hit me as soon as he said it” Amelia answered without hesitation, a pained laugh falling out of her mouth.
Felicity gently took a hold of Amelia’s hand, squeezing it.
“Have you two talked?” Alexa asked “I mean, I know it’s not been very long but...” she trailed off when Amelia shook her head.
“I asked him for a little time to think” Amelia answered “I didn’t want to make a snap decision. All of us know that I tend to say things in the moment, and then regret them, and I didn’t want to do that this time. This is a huge thing, and whatever I say, it’s going to have pretty massive ramifications” she added, forcing out a laugh in an attempt to distract from the tears that had started to gather in her eyes.
She knew that she couldn’t avoid talking to him forever. He was leaving, and as much as neither of them wanted to think too hard about the ways in which that would change everything, they had to, but Amelia wanted a little while to think, even if she had only managed to buy a day. She hadn’t wanted to give him her gut reaction, only to realise that, once the moment had passed, she didn’t quite feel the way she had thought she did.
“You do know how you feel, though, don’t you?” Nora asked.
Amelia, who’d been wiping her eyes with her hand, stilled momentarily before she nodded. “Yeah, I do” she confirmed.
“And?” Nora pressed.
“I think that I...that I might want to go with him” Amelia answered.
Nora’s eyes widened a little, a look of surprise that was mirrored on both Felicity and Alexa’s faces. “What?” she pressed.
Amelia lifted a shoulder in a slightly sheepish shrug. “I don’t know how he feels” she said “I am not even one hundred percent sure of what I just said, but I just...I don’t want to lose him” she added.
Nora opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to say something, but eventually she just shook her head, a slow smile spreading across her features. “Well, this is going to be easier than I thought it was going to be” she mused.
“What?” Amelia spluttered.
Nora’s smile softened a little. “He makes you happy” she mused “Happier than you’ve been in a really long time, and I think that going with him...I think that that’s the right decision” she added.
“Really?” Amelia asked.
Felicity squeezed her hand gently, offering her a soft, motherly smile. “I can’t pretend that I love the idea of you not being only a short car journey away, but I think that Nora’s right. I think that Leo’s been a wonderful presence in your life, something you really needed after Fernando, and if this is what it takes to keep him in your life, then I think it’s worth thinking about” she added.
“You’re not going to tell me that I should stay?” Amelia whispered “You’re not going to talk about all of the things I am going to miss? Alexa’s going to have a baby, Nora’s going to be planning a wedding” she added.
“Like we’re not going to make sure that you’re a part of all of that” Nora scoffed “Do you really think that I am going to plan my wedding without you? There’s video calls, and wherever he ends up, I am pretty sure that Leo can arrange for us all to get together at some point. You’re not going to miss a thing” she insisted warmly.
Amelia’s expression was doubtful, something which made Nora step towards her, taking a hold of the hand that Felicity wasn’t already holding. “You’re scared” she said. It wasn’t a question. The longer they sat in that room, the more obvious the fear became on Amelia’s face, and she wanted to try and coax her into talking about it, hopeful that if they laid everything out, it’d help Amelia to make the best decision for her.
“This is huge” Amelia squeaked “And I think it’s what I want, but I can’t be sure. This is my home, Nora. You guys are all here, my job, my home...”
“But it won’t have Leo” Nora interrupted softly “Is he really something you’re prepared to lose?” she asked.
Amelia was quiet for a long moment before she looked up at Nora. “What would you do?” she asked.
“I’m not you” Nora replied.
“But if you were?” Amelia pressed.
“I’d go” Nora’s answer came without hesitation “He’s amazing, and he adores you, and he makes you happy. I think that it’ll be a big change, and it’ll be hard for everyone, but I think he could be worth it” she added.
Amelia’s eyes searched Nora’s face, and her mother and sister’s, before she slowly nodded her head. “I think so, too” she whispered “I just...I need to figure out a way to tell him that. I am not very good at things like this” she added.
Felicity pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out” she murmured.
“Just lead with the yes” Nora chirped with a warm smile “He won’t care about anything after that” she added.
Amelia smiled back at her, feeling the knot of worry that had been painfully twisting in her stomach unfurl just a little. It was going to take a lot of figuring out, there were so many things that were going to change, but the more she thought about it, the surer she got that it was the right decision.
Amelia, who was poking at half-eaten plate of food in front of her, blinked a couple of times before she picked her head up, looking across the table at her mother who was watching her, trying, and failing, to hide the sympathy in her eyes. She hadn’t hesitated in going to her mother’s home. After what had happened between her and Lionel, she knew that she needed someone to talk to, and she knew that if she showed up at Felicity’s home, it would only be a matter of time before Alexa and Nora followed, and Felicity had obliged. Less than half an hour after she had shown up at her mother’s front door, her sister and best friend had followed, leading to the four of them being sat in Felicity’s kitchen, waiting for someone to ask the question that was on the tip of all of their tongues.
Quirking a tired smile, Amelia shook her head. “It’s lovely” she mused “I’m just not hungry” she added.
Felicity briefly contemplated pushing, but opted it against it. Instead, she moved the plate away from Amelia before she retook her seat, watching as Amelia reached up to push her hair back off of her face tiredly. Lifting her stare, she shared a quick look with Nora and Alexa before looked back at Amelia, letting out a soft sigh. “How is Leo?” she asked. It was a question she knew the answer to, but someone had to break the ice.
Amelia shrugged, looking down at her lap. “Dazed” she replied “It’s caught him completely by surprise, and I don’t think he’s really had enough time to figure out how he’s feeling about it. He’s got a lot of things to think about, so I don’t think it will really hit him for a little while yet” she added.
“What about you?” Nora prodded.
“It hit me as soon as he said it” Amelia answered without hesitation, a pained laugh falling out of her mouth.
Felicity gently took a hold of Amelia’s hand, squeezing it.
“Have you two talked?” Alexa asked “I mean, I know it’s not been very long but...” she trailed off when Amelia shook her head.
“I asked him for a little time to think” Amelia answered “I didn’t want to make a snap decision. All of us know that I tend to say things in the moment, and then regret them, and I didn’t want to do that this time. This is a huge thing, and whatever I say, it’s going to have pretty massive ramifications” she added, forcing out a laugh in an attempt to distract from the tears that had started to gather in her eyes.
She knew that she couldn’t avoid talking to him forever. He was leaving, and as much as neither of them wanted to think too hard about the ways in which that would change everything, they had to, but Amelia wanted a little while to think, even if she had only managed to buy a day. She hadn’t wanted to give him her gut reaction, only to realise that, once the moment had passed, she didn’t quite feel the way she had thought she did.
“You do know how you feel, though, don’t you?” Nora asked.
Amelia, who’d been wiping her eyes with her hand, stilled momentarily before she nodded. “Yeah, I do” she confirmed.
“And?” Nora pressed.
“I think that I...that I might want to go with him” Amelia answered.
Nora’s eyes widened a little, a look of surprise that was mirrored on both Felicity and Alexa’s faces. “What?” she pressed.
Amelia lifted a shoulder in a slightly sheepish shrug. “I don’t know how he feels” she said “I am not even one hundred percent sure of what I just said, but I just...I don’t want to lose him” she added.
Nora opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to say something, but eventually she just shook her head, a slow smile spreading across her features. “Well, this is going to be easier than I thought it was going to be” she mused.
“What?” Amelia spluttered.
Nora’s smile softened a little. “He makes you happy” she mused “Happier than you’ve been in a really long time, and I think that going with him...I think that that’s the right decision” she added.
“Really?” Amelia asked.
Felicity squeezed her hand gently, offering her a soft, motherly smile. “I can’t pretend that I love the idea of you not being only a short car journey away, but I think that Nora’s right. I think that Leo’s been a wonderful presence in your life, something you really needed after Fernando, and if this is what it takes to keep him in your life, then I think it’s worth thinking about” she added.
“You’re not going to tell me that I should stay?” Amelia whispered “You’re not going to talk about all of the things I am going to miss? Alexa’s going to have a baby, Nora’s going to be planning a wedding” she added.
“Like we’re not going to make sure that you’re a part of all of that” Nora scoffed “Do you really think that I am going to plan my wedding without you? There’s video calls, and wherever he ends up, I am pretty sure that Leo can arrange for us all to get together at some point. You’re not going to miss a thing” she insisted warmly.
Amelia’s expression was doubtful, something which made Nora step towards her, taking a hold of the hand that Felicity wasn’t already holding. “You’re scared” she said. It wasn’t a question. The longer they sat in that room, the more obvious the fear became on Amelia’s face, and she wanted to try and coax her into talking about it, hopeful that if they laid everything out, it’d help Amelia to make the best decision for her.
“This is huge” Amelia squeaked “And I think it’s what I want, but I can’t be sure. This is my home, Nora. You guys are all here, my job, my home...”
“But it won’t have Leo” Nora interrupted softly “Is he really something you’re prepared to lose?” she asked.
Amelia was quiet for a long moment before she looked up at Nora. “What would you do?” she asked.
“I’m not you” Nora replied.
“But if you were?” Amelia pressed.
“I’d go” Nora’s answer came without hesitation “He’s amazing, and he adores you, and he makes you happy. I think that it’ll be a big change, and it’ll be hard for everyone, but I think he could be worth it” she added.
Amelia’s eyes searched Nora’s face, and her mother and sister’s, before she slowly nodded her head. “I think so, too” she whispered “I just...I need to figure out a way to tell him that. I am not very good at things like this” she added.
Felicity pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out” she murmured.
“Just lead with the yes” Nora chirped with a warm smile “He won’t care about anything after that” she added.
Amelia smiled back at her, feeling the knot of worry that had been painfully twisting in her stomach unfurl just a little. It was going to take a lot of figuring out, there were so many things that were going to change, but the more she thought about it, the surer she got that it was the right decision.