Collection

I am not that girl any more who stands silently in the kitchen with her hand over her mouth so the monster in the next room doesn't hear her crying.
I did that.
Held back noise that attempted to escape my lips.
I did that- my entire adult life.
Held myself back.
Gave myself less than I deserved.
Dumped all my energy into my education.
My kids
My career.
My.... my......
ANYTHING!!!!
But reflection.
I never looked.
I didn't want to see the wolf for what he was.
I told myself I was strong- but I was weak.
I told myself I was right- when things were wrong.
I told myself it was for the best- when it wasn't.
I sacrificed over and over...
Holding onto an idea of peace I thought I had been keeping when, in reality, it was chaos made comfortable to the abuser that I fed, clothed and catered to.
I have swallowed so much guilt and grief since the beast has been taken away.
I know the skills were never taught to me on how to survive.
Not really survive.... but I'm learning.
The stars aligned that day.
I protected my flock.
I am not the girl that I was.
I am woman.
I am a survivor.