Status: It's been a while, please bare with me.
Remember Me
One
Where do I start?
Ever since the loss of Bucky things weren't ever the same, shortly after Bucky died I lost Steve as well. Once I lost both of them my life went down hill pretty fast, nothing really mattered and I was numb to everything. I made choices that both Bucky and Steve would have been very disappointed in, actually I wouldn't have ever made those choices if my two favorite people in the world had been around and didn't go dying on me.
But I can't blame them for my choices I made on my own accord, the mistakes I made because of my choices and the people I killed just to stay alive for going on 80 plus years.
"Good morning Rye, it's been about two weeks since we've last spoken."
I nodded my head allowing a few strands of my brown hair to fall into my face, my eyes darted around the room taking everything in.It was a decent sized room, four walls, two windows, a bookshelf against the wall filled with educational books for therapy; a desk on the far side of the room to the right of me. The color of the room was a neutral color, because this was a neutral space for you speak and feel heard, to feel safe. I didn't always speak, I didn't always want to be heard.
Where we sat was across from each other, a small coffee table between us allowing that space for comfort. I sat on a three person couch, right in the middle because if I sat on an arm rest side it would just feel weird. My therapist sat across from me on a lounge chair, her reading glasses rested on the brim of her nose, her jet black hair placed in a high bun and she was dressed very much to impress. Where as I wore sneakers, sweatpants in 80 degree weather and a tight tank top that showed a good amount of cleavage.
Bucky would enjoy sitting here, his smile and light blue eyes would have this woman begging for him to come home with her. Steve on the other hand would be sitting here nervous and silent, he was never good with the ladies. It always brought a slight amount of comedy for Bucky and Myself.
"Has it been two weeks? Felt like longer." Today was one of those days, I wasn't happy but I wasn't mad, I wasn't sad but I wasn't depressed. I was lonely, I was craving for the two people I missed the most in this world.
The woman leaned forward with her notepad resting on her lap, she lowered her glasses to take a better look at me. Unfortunately due to the experimental serum I was given many years ago, the normal issues a person would deal with as they got older would not affect me in such ways.
"Something is bothering you, Does it have to do with the recent events? Does it have to do with Steve Rogers?"
My eyes immediately grabbed hers as a small stare down ensued, it had been a few years since they found Steve's body in the ice and defrosted him. Oh How badly I wanted to show Steve I was alive but the fear was to great, I would have to admit all the bad things I did. So instead of making myself known, I followed the news updates on him and what they called the Avengers.
Shifting in my seat to remove the agitating thoughts I looked out of the window, it was slightly cloudy out but the birds were still chirping.
"Rye?"
Why won't she give up? Why does she keep pulling at the same thing? Why does my boss have me coming to see this shrink?
I swallowed, my throat was dry from anxiety, I needed a drink;No I needed to leave and avoid this.
"If it's not Steve that's bothering you, is it the news of Bucky being alive?"
"What?" My hands gripped the bottom of my shirt crinkling it, my heart started pounding at the sound of his name, images of Bucky flashed through my mind as I leaned forward with a stern look.
"Did you just say Bucky is alive?"
The feeling of being alone started to fade, hope filling that void.
Ever since the loss of Bucky things weren't ever the same, shortly after Bucky died I lost Steve as well. Once I lost both of them my life went down hill pretty fast, nothing really mattered and I was numb to everything. I made choices that both Bucky and Steve would have been very disappointed in, actually I wouldn't have ever made those choices if my two favorite people in the world had been around and didn't go dying on me.
But I can't blame them for my choices I made on my own accord, the mistakes I made because of my choices and the people I killed just to stay alive for going on 80 plus years.
"Good morning Rye, it's been about two weeks since we've last spoken."
I nodded my head allowing a few strands of my brown hair to fall into my face, my eyes darted around the room taking everything in.It was a decent sized room, four walls, two windows, a bookshelf against the wall filled with educational books for therapy; a desk on the far side of the room to the right of me. The color of the room was a neutral color, because this was a neutral space for you speak and feel heard, to feel safe. I didn't always speak, I didn't always want to be heard.
Where we sat was across from each other, a small coffee table between us allowing that space for comfort. I sat on a three person couch, right in the middle because if I sat on an arm rest side it would just feel weird. My therapist sat across from me on a lounge chair, her reading glasses rested on the brim of her nose, her jet black hair placed in a high bun and she was dressed very much to impress. Where as I wore sneakers, sweatpants in 80 degree weather and a tight tank top that showed a good amount of cleavage.
Bucky would enjoy sitting here, his smile and light blue eyes would have this woman begging for him to come home with her. Steve on the other hand would be sitting here nervous and silent, he was never good with the ladies. It always brought a slight amount of comedy for Bucky and Myself.
"Has it been two weeks? Felt like longer." Today was one of those days, I wasn't happy but I wasn't mad, I wasn't sad but I wasn't depressed. I was lonely, I was craving for the two people I missed the most in this world.
The woman leaned forward with her notepad resting on her lap, she lowered her glasses to take a better look at me. Unfortunately due to the experimental serum I was given many years ago, the normal issues a person would deal with as they got older would not affect me in such ways.
"Something is bothering you, Does it have to do with the recent events? Does it have to do with Steve Rogers?"
My eyes immediately grabbed hers as a small stare down ensued, it had been a few years since they found Steve's body in the ice and defrosted him. Oh How badly I wanted to show Steve I was alive but the fear was to great, I would have to admit all the bad things I did. So instead of making myself known, I followed the news updates on him and what they called the Avengers.
Shifting in my seat to remove the agitating thoughts I looked out of the window, it was slightly cloudy out but the birds were still chirping.
"Rye?"
Why won't she give up? Why does she keep pulling at the same thing? Why does my boss have me coming to see this shrink?
I swallowed, my throat was dry from anxiety, I needed a drink;No I needed to leave and avoid this.
"If it's not Steve that's bothering you, is it the news of Bucky being alive?"
"What?" My hands gripped the bottom of my shirt crinkling it, my heart started pounding at the sound of his name, images of Bucky flashed through my mind as I leaned forward with a stern look.
"Did you just say Bucky is alive?"
The feeling of being alone started to fade, hope filling that void.
♠ ♠ ♠
This story may bounce around alot, it's been a very long time since I wrote anything. Please bare with me. I'll be sure to place in the description of it's a different time frame :)Have you guys seen the winter soldier and the falcon yet!!! I promise that it will be based on this story as well.