The Harvard Romance

"...and your homework tonight is from the worksheet I gave you at the start of class. It will be due tomorrow."

Wait, what worksheet? I watched my teacher as he paced the front of the room. I always sat by the window out of view of him, hoping he wouldn't see me. Any time a boy...no I mean a man talked to me I always got super nervous, my palms would sweat and my face would heat up. It probably turned bright red for all I knew.

"Alright, why don't you take the last ten minutes to review the worksheet. That way if you have any questions you can ask me before you leave."

I had been late to this class today and hadn't gotten the assignment. My heart raced as I realized I would actually have to go up and talk to him. To Mr. Sawyer.

All the girls here had a crush on him. And yes that included me.

Mr. Sawyer sat at his desk and started working on his computer. I watched him. I can't just go up there and talk to him. It's just physically impossible for me to speak to any guys older than eighteen, let alone one I have a serious crush on.

I truly do try to pay attention to what he teaches. But I almost always get distracted when he turns around and starts writing on the white board. His shirts are never tucked in so when he reaches up, it rises and you can see his heavily muscled abs. I don't think that should be legal. All hot, sexy teachers should have to be made to have their shirts tucked in and wear baggy dress pants that look horrible on them. Not those stupid skin tight Khaki's that hug that well sculpted ass of his.

I am totally messed up. I have never ever had these thoughts about anyone before and now I've been oogling Mr. Sawyer everyday since school started a month ago. Most girls my age have already started dating and even been kissed by boys...I think that's what they have done? Not me. I'm sixteen and have never been kissed. Boys don't normally talk to me anyways. I am quiet and shy and I don't have an ounce of courage to make any friends. Even the girls on my field hockey team barely talk to me and we have been on the same team for the second year in a row. I would definitely be classified as socially awkward and probably even have social anxiety. So how the hell am I supposed to go up there and talk to the only human being who I have ever had a crush on? And he happens to be a man over the age of eighteen.

Let me answer that for you. I am not and I can't. No way...even if I need to get straight A's so I can get into Harvard one day. Me missing one silly homework assignment won't hurt anything. Right?

I sat there, staring at him and my heart raced just as fast as my thoughts. He looked so engrossed in whatever was on the computer screen. He didn't even notice how intensely I was staring at him. I hoped none of my classmates noticed.

Mr. Sawyer had dark brown eyes and curly hair. He hadn't shaved in a couple days and scruff adorned his beautifully sculpted face. He had a light blue collard t-shirt with tan khaki's on. And like I said earlier that shirt was not tucked in and it was definitely too small for him. Those arms of his looked like they were having their circulation cut off because his biceps were bulging out of it. That shouldn't be legal right?

"Alright, anyone have any questions? Class will be over in a minute and I want to make sure you all get A's on this assignment. This is actually going to be a stepping stone to your final project at the end of the year. So please let me know. Your success is my success."

Wait no what really!? It can't be part of the final can it?

My heart stopped and I felt sick to my stomach. I think my jaw dropped...and he was starting to look over this way.

No please don't. Please don't.

He has never called on me before and it has been a blessing. It's actually like he has avoided ever looking in my direction.

The only time he has ever said my name was the first day of class when he called every one's, to learn who we were. When he did he had looked right at me with those deep dark brown eyes. He had actually looked at me and stared at me like all the other students didn't matter. To this day I still think I imagined it. But he had paused and stared at me. Our eyes locked and we had stayed in that moment for what had seemed like an eternity. The whole classroom had disappeared and it was just him and me. Ever since he has never looked at me or called on me. He acted like I didn't exist. Also, he has never done attendance since and he just looks across the room and marks who isn't here.

My eyes couldn't look away from him and I was
dreading the eye contact. But they won't move. I stayed absolutely still. Maybe if I didn't move he wouldn't see me? Right that's how that worked? Right?

His eyes slowly wandered over towards me. He was definitely analyzing everyone and making sure they all had that stupid worksheet out and they were actually looking it over.

I looked around quickly and realized I was the only one who didn't have one and who wasn't working on it. Yup I'm screwed.

He continued to look around and I would soon be in his line of sight. One aisle away...And then he finally turned his gaze to my row. He looked at the student at the front and then the person behind them...his gaze was two people away from my desk.

What the hell do I do? I have a hard enough time answering teachers questions let alone his. I can't, if he says anything, I won't be able to...

"Sydney, did you finish your work book?"

My heart stopped. My mind blanked. My clothes were soaked in sweat. And Mr. Sawyer had called me out. He had said my name and it sounded so sweet coming from him. He had the nicest voice I had ever heard. It was deep yet, when he talked you could actually hear the kindest in his voice, how honest he was and earnest. And it was so freaking sexy. I could listen to him say my name all day. Why was I afraid of that? I need to make him say my name more and talk to me more.

I continued to stare right at him willing him to say my name over and over again. And it worked. He said it again. And again.

Someone behind me chuckled and it reminded me that I was in class and that Mr. Sawyer was my teacher who had been calling my name, as I sat there and stared. Oh no he is walking over... what the hell?

"Sydney? Are you alright?" He asked and was standing next to my desk now. I noticed how my head was the same height as his waist.
The khakis looked even better on him this close up. I forced myself to look up at him and nod my head. I could feel the whole class staring at me. My face was uncomfortably hot and my body was shaking with nerves. "Are you sure?" I forced myself to nod again. But he looked at me skeptically. He definitely thought I was crazy. "Okay then? You don't have a worksheet. Do you need one?" I looked down at my empty desk and finally remember the assignment. I looked back up at him and nodded again. God my throat was so dry. "Please come see me after the bell." He turned around and walked back to the front of the classroom.

Shit. Shit. Shit.
Ring.Ring. Ring.

The class full of students who had all been staring at me and laughing at me packed up their belongings and headed out of the classroom.

Me? I slowly grabbed my notebook and put it in my back pack and stood up.

I faced toward the window and looked up at the blue cloudless sky and took a deep breath and counted.

One. Two. Three.

You got this. You have to get this. Just get the assignment and get out of there.

I flung my backpack over my shoulder and looked towards the ground as I walked slowly to the front of the class. I kept my head down but looked up from under my brows and saw he was standing to the side of his desk watching me, curiously.

I stopped a couple feet in front of him and forced myself to speak. "You wanted to see me?" My voice cracked like I was a boy going through puberty. My face flushed and I cleared my throat.

"Hi, Sydney." He said it, drawing out my name and my imagination went wild. It made me believe that he said it slowly on purpose like he actually liked to say my name.

"Hi, Mr. Sawyer." And I brought my gaze to his face and instantly regretted it. The little confidence I had gained was demolished. But he took my hi as a segue to talk to me.

"Do you need a copy of the worksheet? It wasn't on your desk and I don't even think you would have finished it that fast. You may be one of my top students but there is too much in it for even you to have finished it in ten minutes."

I nodded my head, in agreement.

"Wait you did finish it already?" He sounded impressed but skeptical. But I couldn't let him believe that. This was turning into even more of a disaster.

I shook my head fiercely and croaked out, "I don't have it."

"Oh..." he sounded disappointed and it actually hurt my heart to hear it in his voice. He didn't say anything for a minute and I saw his jaw clench. He was holding back, from saying something. He shook his head and those brown curls of his were jostled from the movement. "Alright, I'll get you one." He walked over to his desk and leaned down. My gaze followed his every movement, he bent down, and I stole a glance of his butt. God it was soo sexy.

He was quick and turned around before I could gaze somewhere else. He stared at me. Had I been caught? Oh shit was he going to say something? Please don't. No. No. No.

His eyes narrowed and the brown of his eyes turned almost black from the shadow of his brows. But it was fleeting and he said, "Here, Sydney. You have my email. Please use that if you have any questions. You also know my office hours, right?" I nodded, "Good. Please don't hesitate to take advantage of them if you need help on this. Like I said the assignment will be a part of the final project. Though I don't think you will have any problems with it. Like I said before your one of my top students," he smiled warmly at me.

My eyes wandered across his face and I managed to squeak out, " Thank you."

"Your welcome. See you tomorrow."