The Harvard Romance

Mr. Sawyer and I were meeting around noon at the dining hall. I had a nine am class and a two pm class today. He would be going to the Registrars office in the morning and then meeting me after. I am not sure how much help I would be to him but I'd like to try.

I told my friend Alysha about seeing my old high school teacher at work and everything that led up to the end of the night. She had an overactive imagination that made mine take off in a thousand different directions.

It took forever for lunch time to come but when it did, I found it hard to walk into the dining hall and meet him. I stood at the door and paced back and forth, outside. A couple people walked by me and I felt their judgmental eyes on me. Fuck, just go in and stop being a coward. You grew out of this, you got this. Just be your new adult self and be confident.

I wore a pair of jeans and one of my nicest blouses that had a red and pink flower print with a white background, and a pair of sandals. I actually put on some make up today. It's not something I do all the time. I hate wearing it and I am way more comfortable with it off.

I continued to pace even after lecturing myself. I still have a couple minutes to wimp out and run the opposite direction....

"Sydney?" A familiar deep voice said. It made my whole body shoot up straight and warm ten degrees, or did someone turn the temperature up outside?

Oh my god, he caught me pacing. Why did I do this here outside the door? What an idiot.

"Sydney, you okay?" Mr. Sawyer asked.

"Uh yeah. Sorry, just thinking about finals week and how close it is." I laughed and my voice shook. I was totally awkward. I still hadn't even looked at him. I remember the other night when our bodies had been so close together and how his hand had felt in my face.

"I remember finals week, its the most stressful time of college. I totally get it." And even though I wasn't watching him, I could hear the smile in his voice.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and looked up at him. "Yeah it sure is. Last year was horrible but I still managed to get mostly A's."

"Mostly? Wow that's impressive. What did you not get an A in, if you don't mind me asking?" I remember his kind smile from high school it always melted my heart a little more back then. And now even more so.

"Uh, don't worry about that." I laughed, " let's go find a table before they are all full."

"You can't leave me hanging, now you have to tell me."

I laughed, "Maybe after we find a table." And I bolted inside.

Lunch was wonderful. We talked about Harvard and he asked me about the last couple years and why I decided to study Astrophysics. I learned he had gone to BridgeWater State University to be a teacher. The year I was in his class was his first year teaching and he had just graduated the year before. He had to earn a masters in any program to keep his teaching license and his brother had convinced him to come here. I guess he has family money and the cost of Harvard wouldn't make a dent in his  inheritance.

"So will you finally tell me which class you didn't get an A in for your finals last year?"

"Yeah, your probably not going to like it." The more we talked the more I felt at ease and the less I thought of him as my former high school teacher. "You might even be disappointed."

"Oh that's not true. You've always impressed me. Even though you never did say anything in my class. For a long time I thought you didn't even talk." He laughed but I felt so self conscious and I sat back in the booth and looked down at my plate. "I didn't mean anything by that Sydney. You were just really quiet and there was nothing wrong with that. I actually completely understand it. When I was younger it was hard for me to talk to adults. I couldn't even look at them. My parents actually made me go to therapy when I was ten for it. They thought I had some disorder or something. Eventually the therapy helped and by the time I got to high school I was the most talkative guy there. And..." he paused, "well that's not important. Like I said I understand. We all break out of our shells at some point and it takes longer for some than others."

He smiled gently at me and I sat forward and place my arms on the table studying his face. He was always so kind not judge mental at all. "Thanks, Mr. Sawyer."

"You know my name is James. Just call me that, please. I'm not your teacher anymore,"

Butterflies flew through my belly and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips.

"What?" The side of his lips quirked up in a smile like he knew where my thoughts had gone. But I wouldn't say anything.

"So what was not important enough to elaborate on? You know back in school you said you were pretty talkative."

It was his turn to look mortified and he appeared to be reliving his past. "Yeah I'm not going there with you. How about you tell me what class you didn't get an A in." He raised his eyebrow challengingly. But now I had to know.

"Well if you really want to know, why don't you tell me what you meant earlier."

"Well now you've put me in a corner haven't you."

I smiled triumphantly up at him. I placed my hands under my chin and said, "I'm waiting!"

"Yeah but I've been asking you all lunch. I think it's only fair you go first."

I glared at him. "No it's not." And I pouted.

"That's definitely not fair. You can't pull the puppy dog eyes on me. That's cheating and now you definitely have to go first."

I huffed, "Fine but you promise me you will tell me." I stuck out my pinky finger waiting.

A deep chuckle burst from him and stuck his way bigger one out in front of me and I stared at it like a fool.  "Fine I pinky swear I will tel you. But you got to promise not to think poorly of me."

I gulped. Could it be that bad? "I promise." My eyes went wide as I saw his massive pinky wrap around mine and tighten. It felt so good to be touching him and I let out a sigh. Shit what's wrong me. Please don't have heard that.

He didn't let go and neither did I. But I kept my eyes low. "Alright you have to tell me now."

"Uh, right. I may have gotten a B- in my history class. The teacher wasn't nearly as good as you were and he was all over the place when he taught. I think he had a stroke or something a year ago and now when he writes stuff on the board he always erases it and says actually that's not what happened. It was just hard to keep up."

He laughed, "Well you didn't fail, and that's not a grade to be embarrassed about."

My pinky slipped out of his, "yeah but it's the lowest grade I've ever gotten. I'm going to have to retake it. It's going to affect my gpa too much."

"I'm here if you need a tutor." And he winked at me, which made the breath in my lungs completely disappear. What a wink he had.

"Yeah I guess you are aren't you." And I smiled shyly up at him. I remembered he promised to tell me. "So your turn."

He sat back and ran a hand through his hair. As he did his black collard shirt lifted up and I saw the most perfect 'V' followed by a small trail of hair. I gulped and quickly looked away back up to his eyes. And he was staring at me. He totally knew where I had looked and now I was blushing. He continued to stare at me for a moment longer and he had leaned in, put his elbows on the table. We sat in the same position and our faces were pretty close. Even with the wide booth table.

I cleared my throat, I really wanted to know. "So?"

He didn't smile he just spoke, "I was a little bit of a flirt with my female classmates. I pretty much had a date almost every Friday with a new girl. Maybe if I was still as shy back when I was ten I may not have been as much of an ass in high school."

He was a player? He never acted like one not even now.  But he still wasn't smiling and the intensity of his gaze sharpened and I forgot where we were. "How about now? Do you still go out with a different girl every Friday?"

He looked away. "Not for about a year now. It's lost it's excitement. I've been putting most of my time to help students now. My brother thinks there's something wrong with me. He pulled me to that bar the other night trying to get me out."

"He said that you wanted to go there?"

"He did? What a liar." He sighed and sat back in the booth.

"What made the excitement go away"

"I'm not sure. I went on a date with this woman and she was beautiful. But I felt nothing. It was pretty boring but I know a couple years ago I would have hit it off with her. But Instead of spending the night I opted to head back home. Ever since I've just had thoughts of settling down."

Oh my god he wants to settle down? Maybe I could make him settle down. The thought brought fire to my cheeks and I knew they were red.

He looked at me absentmindedly, "your cute when you blush." His eyes went wide at what he said and so did mine. "Sorry that was probably inappropriate." He looked down at his watch, "I should probably get going. You have a class at two right?"

I nodded my head annoyed that I had somewhere to be. He called me cute!! "I didn't think it was." I said quietly

"Here let me get your trash," he said like he hadn't heard me. He reached over the table gathered up our empty lunch containers and then walked over to the barrels. I watched his backside and openly checked him out. I was lost in the view until he turned back around very fast. Too fast and now I had a full view of his front but saw a significant bulge. What? Yes! Was that from me? He walked back over to the table and I tore my eyes away from him and looked towards my bag, grabbed it and bolted off the booth. I was embarrassed cause I know he caught me a second time checking him out.

When I got up I ran right into him. I hadn't realized how close he was and he was pushed back a little and I fell back down in the booth, hitting my elbow on the table. "Oww!"

"You okay, Sydney? Sorry I wasn't expecting you to stand up so fast."

"Yeah I am fine. I just figured it was getting late it would be best if i was already standing so we could get out of here and I could get to my class. I didn't realize how close you were. You threw that trash out pretty fast and I hope I didn't hurt you and are you alright?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you speak that much," he smiled at me. "Let me look at your elbow. And yes I'm fine. You didn't hurt me." He reached for my elbow and I let him grab it. "It's a little red it might bruise a little." He ran his fingers over it and I winced a little but it actually felt good too. I looked up into his eyes. His perfect dark brown iris's. And he looked down at me. And took a step closer to me. He was absolutely, irresistible. I took a step closer to him. Did he feel the same pull as me? The same attraction? The same tingles when he touched me as when I touched him? He wasn't my teacher anymore and I wasn't underaged. This can't be wrong can it?

"So you don't think it was inappropriate that I called you cute?" He asked in a deep quiet voice. He eyes held such an intensity They paralyzed me. "Tell me, Sydney." He said, demanding.

I still couldn't speak but I managed to shake my head.

"Your infuriating you know that?" His voice was just as deep and now a little husky. He still held my elbow and I was still unmoving. The dining hall disappeared and the noises were non-existent. "You keep looking at me with your pretty green eyes and they are driving me crazy. Don't think I didn't see how you were just looking at me when I walked to the trash and back." I didn't think the word 'trash' could be anything but a disgusting word, but he sure made it sound sexy coming from his perfect lips. "God, you really need to stop staring at me like that. I'm going to loose control if you don't."

Control? What did you mean by that?I turned my head to the side asking the question without actually asking.

"Damn it Sydney. You really don't know how beautiful you are do you? I remember seeing all those boys back at school watch you from a distance but you never made eye contact with them. You never even acknowledged their presence. But you always looked at me like you are now. Do you know how hard it was to be your teacher?"

My eyes went wide at his confessions. I never knew about the other boys. But he was confessing something else and I didn't understand. "You didn't like to be my teacher?" I asked and felt a little hurt and looked away.

He grabbed my chin, "no that's not what I meant." And he stared down at me and his face was so close if I stood on my tip toes I would be able to kiss him. "Shit, now I'm being inappropriate," he let go of my chin and stepped back. "You should get going. It's almost two you shouldn't be late."

The air felt cold and I missed him being so close. "Why do you keep thinking your being inappropriate? I don't think you were." I blurted out.

He stepped back. "I'll text you Sydney."

"Mr. Sawyer? I mean James? When will I see you again."

"I...don't think...I am not sure."

I looked at him and he looked defeated. "What's wrong?"

"I shouldn't feel this way about a former student. I know your not underage and no long in high school. But you drive me crazy."

I wasn't expecting any of what he said and it scared and excited me. But he was acting like I would never see him again.

"You should be going out with kids your age not an old person like me."

"Your not old James. Seven years isn't that big of a difference. My parents were ten years apart from each other but that didn't stop them." Where the hell was I getting all this courage from?

"Sydney...okay. How about we get dinner tonight and talk it over?" His eyes were wild and I could see the confusion and apprehension in them. I guess he was loosing control.

"That's sounds good." I smiled sweetly at him. "What time?"