The Princess and the Bootlegger

Celine perched at the empty bar, watching Tillie sort vials of potions and drink additives behind the counter. The Rose and Raven was the place to get pretty much anything your heart desired, when it came to feeling good all the time. She eyed the vials of Fang a little warily as Tillie checked their labels and put them in their respective hidden cabinets.

“I can’t believe people actually want to drink vampire spit,” Celine remarked. Tillie shrugged.

“I’ve heard that Love Bite can be quite the experience,” she said, eyes crinkling mischievously. Celine threw a napkin at her.

“You’re disgusting,” she laughed. Vampires and dhampirs could produce chemicals in their saliva; vampires in much more potent quantities since they were always fanged. Dhampirs had smaller fangs that they could retract, and they generally didn’t get very bitey. Vampires could both subdue and trigger endorphins in whoever they were chomping on. Dhampirs, being half human, tended to have their “secret weapons” activated by a fight or flight response, and could temporarily induce almost total paralysis with their bite. They could trigger endorphins too but it always made Celine blush to think about people using extracted vampire venom as an aphrodisiac. Much to the delight of Tillie, who loved to tease her for being such a sweet girl. Even now, she was shaking her head and smiling.

“Celine, we don’t all have the benefit of being naturally intoxicating,” she said. “Some people need a little boost.”

“I am not naturally intoxicating and besides, there’s a difference between giving someone a little love nip and actually drinking spit.”

Tillie made a face. “All right well, when you put it like that it does sound kind of disgusting. I’d probably still try it though.”

Celine pretended to gag while Tillie threw her napkin back at her. The door banged open and a harried looking Emile came hurrying inside.

“What’s wrong?” Celine asked, seeing the deep frown on his face.

“There was a commotion outside, in the alleyway just past the lounge. They…found a body.”

“A body?” Celine repeated.

“It’s Brutus MacIntosh. Someone’s killed him.”

Celine and Tillie exchanged a wide-eyed look.

“Someone took down a MacIntosh?” Tillie asked. “They’re each the size of a building.”

Emile nodded, looking grim. “They were taking the body away when I went by, I didn’t get any other details.”

“Do you think he got into a fight with one of the Fratellis?” Celine asked. “Those two families are constantly going at it about territory.”

“Could be, though it doesn’t seem any of the Fratellis were around here yesterday. Actually, one of Christophe’s clean-up guys said something about that human who’s always doing business with him.”

There was a beat of silence and then Celine burst out laughing. “You mean Kade? They think he killed Brutus?”

“Just saying what I heard.” Emile shrugged. “I guess they had some sort of dispute.”

Celine dismissed the idea entirely but she heard some whispers about it around the club that night; that Kade had clearly threatened MacIntosh and must have waited for him outside to exact revenge. Celine’s curiosity was piqued. Brutus MacIntosh was a moron and he got into fights too much, but he was a regular here; he’d actually been pretty nice to Celine on the few occasions she’d crossed paths with him. And he wouldn’t have been easy to kill. She wanted to know more, but no way was Christophe going to tell her anything. Fortunately for her, dhampirs could go outside no matter the time of day, while vampires could not. She usually kept a fairly nocturnal schedule because the lounge operated at night, but once her set was over tonight and the sun rose she resolved to pay a visit to the morgue.

Jinxie rode perched on her shoulder as she tiptoed into the building, not entirely sure why she was being so sneaky. Christophe wouldn’t really like her coming in here to investigate a dead body, but he probably wouldn’t care that much. Still, she made sure the coast was clear before slipping down into the basement and picking the lock. Brutus wasn’t hard to find. He was covered in a white sheet and Celine cautiously flipped it back. She had seen grisly things in her day; far too many times. But this made even her take a step back for a moment. Someone had sawed through Brutus’s head, severing the entire bottom half of his jaw. It was sitting in a glass case next to him.

“What could have done that?” Jinxie squeaked from his place on her shoulder. Celine leaned forward slightly, squinting at the wound and trying to ignore the stench of old blood, which was overwhelming this close to a half decapitated werewolf body. Dhampirs didn’t have any need to drink blood but they still had keener senses than a human and Celine was starting to get nauseous. She was no expert, but it looked as if someone had sliced through him. It seemed too clean for someone to have ripped his jaw apart in a fight. She noticed a faint glimmer of something shiny…a flake of silver? Celine pulled the sheet back further, surprised to see virtually no other injuries. There were a few scars, and a slight scrape on the knuckles of his left hand. But nothing else.

“This is…really weird,” Celine remarked. “Even for this town.”

“People think that a human did this?” Even Jinxie sounded skeptical. “Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t humans kind of…fragile?”

Celine pulled the sheet back over Brutus, thinking. “It’s highly unlikely that a human could do this,” she agreed. She left the morgue and found herself making a decision she really didn’t want to make. Kade was a nuisance and should’ve known better than to be peddling drugs among creatures who could swat him like a fly. Any time they crossed paths he had something crass to say; the first time he’d ever spoken to her she threw a martini in his face. But Celine was burdened with a conscience that many monsters didn’t have, and she wasn’t especially keen on seeing a human scapegoated for this. Plus, she wanted the truth about who could’ve possibly done something like that to the war tank that was MacIntosh.

“We’re going for a little trip, Jinxie,” she sighed. She reluctantly turned in the opposite direction of her apartment and headed off ti Kade’s pawn shop. She hoped he was there; human or not he just have kept some weird hours too with his line of work. There was a small cluster of humans lounging around outside the place when she arrived and though they regarded her with open interest, they kept their distance. Everyone knew who she was, which meant they knew she was dhampir and that Christophe would personally rip out the throat of anyone who messed with his little star.

Celine ignored the other humans, walking into the shop. She could hear someone rustling around in the back, and then a little goblin popped out from behind the counter.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“Yeah. I need to speak with your..boss.”

“And what business do you have with Kade?”

“Just tell him Miss Bellerose is here to see him.”

The goblin’s eyes went a little wider than normal, then he disappeared into the back rooms of the shop. Celine glanced around, trying not to touch anything. Kade emerged, arching an eyebrow to see her.

“Well, well. The princess has truly graced our humble establishment with her presence. I thought Gibbet here was being pranked by an imposter. To what do I owe the pleasure, sweetheart?”

Celine’s lip curled. “I’m here to give you a message.”

Kade’s smirk faded to a grimace. “Did Christophe send you? Look, tell him I’ll get the stuff he wanted. I still think it’s bad news but I’m not going to argue-“

“Christophe didn’t send me, and I’m not interested in your wares.”

“Ah, so you’re here because you finally realized you find me irresistible.”

“The only urge I need to resist when it comes to you is the one to vomit.”

“Ouch. Well if you’re just going to be mean, garlic queen, then there’s the door.”

Celine shrugged delicately. “Fine. I was trying to do you a favor. Don’t come crying to me when the MacIntosh clan comes knocking on your door. I’m sure you don’t mind being skinned alive and turned into jerky.” She turned and started to push the door open.

“Wait.”

She paused but didn’t turn around yet.

“What are you talking about?” Kade asked.

“Oh, now you’re interested in what I have to say?” Celine turned around slowly and he rolled his eyes.

“Just tell me what you came here to tell me.”

“Ask me nicely.”

She had the pleasure of seeing him look annoyed before he slowly bit out a please.

“Brutus MacIntosh is dead. He was murdered.”

“What?” Kade looked blank.

“Someone saw fit to use what I assume was some kind of silver wire to remove the lower half of his face from the top half.”

Kade grimaced. “Shit. And you’re telling me this because?”

“Because some people think you might have done it,” Celine said bluntly. Kade took several moments to process that, perhaps waiting for her to say she was kidding. She just stared back at him and he seemed to realize she was serious.

“Wait, shit, what the fuck? People think I killed MacIntosh? Seven foot three, four hundred pounds of pure muscle, werewolf MacIntosh?”

“Apparently you had an argument at the lounge.”

“Yeah, he tried to stiff me but I didn’t kill him. I don’t go around killing my clients and besides he was twice my size.”

“You don’t need to get all defensive with me. I don’t think you did it.”

“This is some bullshit, why would anyone-you don’t?”

“No. I don’t. MacIntosh could use you as a chew toy and frankly, I’m not sure you can even tie your own shoes let alone make silver wire.”

“Okay well thanks for not thinking I’m a murderer but I can tie my shoes. You don’t have to be so rude about it,” he grumbled. Then he frowned. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Just watch your back. Christophe will see to an investigation but MacIntosh’s pack is probably going to have it out for you until someone gets to the bottom of this.”

“Why do you care about any of this, anyway?”

“The Rose and Raven may be a seedy playhouse for monsters, but it’s my home. Those are hard to come by.” She pushed the door open and left without waiting for a reply.