Status: ✿Enjoy! Feel free to comment or message me about any aspect of this story! The reader experience is always of utmost importance! Thank you!✿


✿Part 1: A Million Sparkling Pieces

Saucy Note: Welcome everyone! I just wanted to give a small warning to those of you about to begin this journey with me: This story is of a very serious matter. It will be sad and tragic in some ways and very bright in others. This is about being at a very personal low but rising from those ashes and becoming the most beautiful Self we all strive to encompass. The events that will unfold in this and how Y/N as a character reacts and makes decisions and the ways in which she struggles is only a depiction of how I imagine such a tragedy to feel. I mean no ill will towards those who have been through any situations described in this story, and neither am I in any position, by any means, to state that My way of reacting to and depicting such things, is the correct way.

I hope all of you find meaning in this story regardless of whether or not this specific situation pertains to you.

Okay, I'll stop rambling and wish you a very happy reading. ♥

3 am falls on the salty September night.


The road is damp and littered with red stained glass under your carved hands as you crawl back to your car from behind the ugly green dumpster, rusted over time from acid raindrops.

“Namjoon please…”

Your cries blend in with the bustling streets of your hometown. The sign of the diner you’d just finished your second double shift at, flickered eerily as it always did, mocking the way you stuttered over your words to a sleepy Namjoon on the phone. How the phone, that had tumbled hard to the ground when the rip of your jeans and the muffling of your screams rustled behind the dumpster, had managed to stay intact was beyond you. The screen still shone bright in the dimly lit parking lot of your job when you tapped Namjoon’s contact information. You listened to it ring what seemed a million times before he finally picked up, sleep heavy in his voice.

“Joonie…I need you. Please, help me.” Hearing the sob in your voice had Namjoon sitting up rod straight in the comfort of the cozy apartment he shared with his 6 other roommates. The bed shook underneath him when he swung his legs over the side and grabbed his glasses from the night table next to him. The lenses desperately needed cleaning, toothpaste from the night before had splashed up onto them while he’d readied himself for bed, but he put them on anyway. With lightning speed he’d pulled on his socks, mismatched and holey, and shrunk into a random jacket. The sleeves were scrunched up on one side and hanging too low on the other, but it didn’t matter when your frightened voice sent alarms through his whole being.

“Where are you, y/n?”

You look behind you, afraid the man with the black mask might still be gawking at you from the shadows and try your best to find your keys. In your struggle to break free from the vile excuse for a man that had you pinned to his chest; they’d dropped to the ground with the rest of your belongings.

“Y/n, sweetheart you have to tell me where you are so that I can come get you.”

The rain fell harder, the blood on your hands both crusting to your skin and washing away in crimson streams on the pavement as you lift yourself from the wet ground. Your stomach rolls and the ache in your thighs pulsates as you fumble with your keys.

“The diner.” You breathe out, hands shaking violently as you try to push the key into the driver's side door lock when they fall to the ground for the second time. “Shit…Namjoon please. Please I can’t do this! I-I…I…!”

“Y/N. Take a deep breath. Okay? It’s going to take me a little bit to get there but I promise I-I’ll be there soon.” He tries his best to soothe you as he pulls the door open from his room and jogs down the hallway, scooping up his own keys from the counter. “I’m getting in the car now y/n. Deep breaths until I get there, ok? I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“WAIT! You can’t leave. You can’t-I-you-I need you to stay on the phone. Please.” You fumble once more with the keys, finally pushing it into the lock as another sob wracks your frame and you’re another step closer to safety. You slam the car door shut and take in your surroundings, checking to make sure nothing’s changed. The light above the diner still flickers rapidly and the streets are still filled with people driving by in their cars. For a moment you curse them for not seeing what was happening to you in an almost empty parking lot, but you remind yourself that they are just busy people trying only to make it home safely to their families. Your anger boils down, returning to the pure unbridled fear that still threatens to rip from your throat in the form of blood curdling screams.

“I need to be able to drive though y/n. I want to make sure I get to you without any problems.” Namjoon tries to explain, his heart dropping at the thought of leaving you alone even though he still had no idea what was happening. It didn’t matter. He’d come to you from anywhere if it meant you really needed help.

“No, no, no, Joon you can’t! Don’t leave me, please! Please!” You beg, your eyes darting around you as a small family steps out of the diner. Smiles adorn their faces from what you hoped was a good experience. They don’t know it, but it gives you a moment of relief. Namjoon doesn’t know what to do, stopping in his tracks as he tries to think through the sleep that still covers the entirety of his existence. He rubs helplessly at the bridge of his nose until the lightbulb turns on above his head and he races down the hall to one of the other members rooms.

“Okay, okay. I got it. It won’t be me; I really should drive safely if I want to make it to you fast enough so I’m going to bring one of the guys. Okay? Is that okay?” He asked as he pushes open one of the bedroom doors, rushing to the person hidden under the thick quilt.

“Jungkook. Kook. Come on.” The sleeping maknae groans at his hyungs’ pleas but opens his eyes when Namjoon repeats his name louder and with a purpose.

“What’s wrong hyung?” Jungkook asks, and you can hear his voice through the line threaded with grogginess, a twinge of guilt twisting in your stomach.

“I need you to do me a favor. We have to go, now. Please.” Namjoon pleads and there’s enough stress in his brother’s voice to make a spike of worry shoot through Jungkook’s body. He’s sitting up and getting dressed without another word, following Namjoon out the door as he quickly explains the situation.

“I’m sorry Kook, but it’s an emergency. You were the first person that came to mind.” Joon apologizes but Jungkook waves a dismissive hand at him. He owed Namjoon his whole entire life. Never would he be living the life he dreamed of living right now if it weren’t for him. Never would he have the 6 brothers he has now if it weren’t for Namjoon. He would do anything for him at any cost. Including saving his friend.

“Y/n. I’m driving now. Okay? I’m going to let you talk to Jungkook. Just lean on him for a little bit, alright? I’m sorry.” Jungkook watches the way Namjoon focuses on making sure he’s doing everything right. From adjusting the mirror, to assuring that his lights are working properly, But Jungkook notices a side of him he never thought he’d see. Namjoon was terrified.

After getting confirmation from you, Namjoon hands off the phone to Jungkook and peels off, tires screeching and echoing through the neighborhood.

“Y/n, its Jungkook.” Kook tries to keep the air light seeing as he has no idea what’s going on, but his stomach drops, and he stiffens slightly when he hears the whimper that betrays you. To make matters worse, it’s followed by a series of sniffles as you try to calm yourself.

“Hi.” You breathe out and Jungkook’s heart squeezes. He doesn’t know what to say, lost in the sound of your cries, and the silence makes a few more sobs escape you.

“Jungkook? Say something please. Please talk to me.” Your fingers cramp, knuckles turned bleach white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly, needing something to anchor you.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m here. Are you…are you hurt?” Namjoon flinches when he hears the way you fail to hold in your sobs at Jungkook’s question and curses himself for not asking you the same thing when you called. But he was focused on just getting to you first. Questions could come later.

“Um…” You start and cover your mouth when you’re certain the words would just come out as mumbled whines. You start again with a little more confidence, wiping at your eyes that you know are ringed with smudges of mascara by now. “Yes.” You whisper and sniffle. Jungkook looks over at Namjoon, watching him swallow hard with worry, eyes glued to the road.

“Are you somewhere safe?” Jungkook asks more fervently, understanding now the severity of the situation.

“Safe enough.” You respond, laying your head on the steering wheel.

“Will you be okay long enough for us to get there? We can always meet you at the hospital you know?”

“No! I’m fine! I’m ok, don’t go!” You snap your head back up, taking another look around when the fear flutters back up your body.

“Okay! Hey, y/n. Deep breaths. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you. I promise I’m not leaving.” Jungkook assures you and you settle back into your seat, the movement making a sharp, stinging pain flow between your thighs. The hiss you let out makes Jungkook sit up a little straighter, tongue flicking out to wet his lips nervously. He feels helpless sitting in this seat. He feels like no number of words that he could say right now would make any of this better for you. It only makes him search his mind harder, checking every corner for something to say, something to do.

“It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day y/n. So…just try to focus on that. That it’s a new day now and whatever happened will not hold you back. Ok?” Jungkook’s voice is silver and smooth and lulls you into a daze that gives you a break from the fear. A periwinkle haze melts on the horizon, swirling into the navy sky and you welcome it. A new day meant forgetting it ever happened. It meant moving on and never having to think about it again.

“We're almost there, Y/n. How are you? Are you doing ok?” Jungkook asks tenderly. You don’t want to lie to him. You wish you were going to be meeting him on different circumstances because he seems like such a good man. He always has. Guilt settles in the pit of your stomach when you realize the shit-show you’ve just pulled him into. Your voice comes out weak as you try your very hardest not to fall apart all over again.

“I’m not ok. But I’ll be fine. How’s Joonie? Is he alright?” At your question, Jungkook glances at Namjoon. He looks tired and worried and still just as focused as the moment they’d pulled out of the parking spot an hour ago, but he was fine.

“He’s okay.” Jungkook assures you just as he and Namjoon pull into the parking lot. Namjoon presses the gas pedal down hard and utters your name under his breath.

“We’re here Y/n.” Kook watches as Namjoon pulls the lever into park and pops out of the car. Jungkook’s eyes land on you in the car next to them as you drop the phone in your hands and shatter into a million sparkling pieces.

“Joonie!” You cry, breaking into a fit of sobs that wracks your frame like you were 8 years old all over again. Namjoon scoops you in his arms and pulls you out of the car in one fluid motion and you wail into the crook of his neck when he cradles you to him just as you had all those years ago. You recall a memory from what seems like a lifetime ago and you squeeze Joonie closer to you. That day, all those years ago, couldn’t have been any brighter. The summer heat threatened to melt you into oblivion, starting from your legs, which wobbled uncontrollably as one foot after the other pounded into the blacktop beneath you. 3 boys from the senior glass treaded too close behind you, making your escape impossible as they grabbed relentlessly at your hair and tugged on the fabric of your shirt. Boys could be so disgustingly persistent when they wanted things, they knew they couldn’t have. You weren’t even sure why they bothered when they knew the task would only end up in shambles for them at the hands of Namjoon.

You couldn’t let yourself linger on the memory too long when Namjoon tried his best to keep your pain to a minimum as he gripped your legs carefully and swung you up to cradle you in his arms, bridal style. He kept you like this, held close to him as you belted out your pain and sadness into the crisp morning air in the form of heavy, dripping, tears.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.” Namjoon whispers into your ear and runs his fingers through your hair, eliciting a sigh of content from within your depths as he turns to Jungkook.

“Can you drive us to the hospital?” Joon asks him, and Jungkook nods viciously, already moving from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s side. The engine revs to life and you try to focus on Namjoon’s steady breathing.


It’s not like you were scared of hospitals or anything, but let’s just say for arguments sake, that you’re most definitely afraid of hospitals. Stark white walls, mundane wallpaper that hangs halfheartedly from one of the corners of your room. Not to mention the dingy yellow color of sickness staining all the equipment around you. Coming from the halls an elderly woman shouts nonsense at the top of her lungs, but no, you definitely are not afraid of hospitals. The way Namjoon draws small circles into the skin on the back of your hand, and the comfort of Jungkook’s fingers buried in your hair, massaging your scalp makes your uneasiness fade even more.

Before too long, a nurse that looks like she’s been here for too many hours comes through the door after 3 small knocks at the door.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long.” She apologizes as she whorls through the room, checking the papers attached to a clip board.

“It’s ok. I understand it’s busy.” The sobs stuck in the back of your throat catch on each of the syllables and Namjoon grips your hand tighter, lending you some of his strength. She doesn’t miss it, recognizing immediately the pain in your eyes when you hand her the paper you’d hesitated to fill out when you’d arrived; legs crossed uncomfortably over one another, an adjustment in your seat that sent a sharp reminder of what had happened. This was the look of too many women that came to visit her over the course of a year, and she was sorry to add you to the count.

She smiles warmly at you because she knows that there’s no way to really comfort you. “Let’s get this done so you can go back home.” The nurse wastes no time handing you consent papers that spell out the reality of your situation.

SEXUAL ASSULT EXAM is written in bold black letters across the top of the sheet, the blaring and jarring realization that not but 2 hours ago you’d been crawling to your car in the rain. Next to you Namjoon covers his face with his hands after leaning over to read the papers with you. He hadn’t bothered questioning you on why you’d called him to come and get you in the first place. He didn’t want to push you. Of course, the reason mattered but he just wanted to make sure you were going to be alright before he made you talk about it. His eyes scanned over the words and suddenly it was clear why it had been so urgent, important that he hurry, important that he stay on the phone with you, to not leave you alone. Thoughts of how he could have driven just a couple more miles over the speed limit to get to you faster, how he could have gotten ready a billion times faster when you’d called than he did, flooded his mind. He understood now. And all that was left now was guilt.

“I need some air.” He choked out and practically flew from his spot next to you on the bed, out of the door.

“Joon. Joon wait!” You called to your best friend, but you could see him jogging down the hall as the door slowly closed. “Joon!”

“Y/n…Let him go.” Jungkook held your hands. Hands that were currently crumbling the papers you were meant to be reading over and filling out. “Let me help you.” He said quietly, pulling your attention back.

“Sorry Jungkook. I’m sorry I pulled you into this.” Inside you, your mind was destroying you.

“Y/n.” Kook says, taking the pen out of your hand.

“You should be off enjoying this beautiful day somewhere else, with someone else.” The pounding of your heart echoes in your ears.

“Y/N.” He takes the papers and throws them on the floor.

“Miss L/n. I need you to calm down please.” The nurse says, her tone laced with sympathy as she watches you push Jungkook’s hands away. You can’t see her anymore. She’s trapped in a watery bubble that seems to only be in your eyes, but she tries to reach out and offer comforting rubs on your shoulder.

“No, no, don’t. Let me.” Jungkook tells her and she steps away, but not too far.

“Not here suffering through this with me!” Blood rushes through your veins and it sounds like gushing rivers, and it meshes with the beeping of the equipment.

“Y/n! Listen.” He counters your fighting by gripping your wrists as gently as he can and places your hands on his chest. "Look at me."

“I’m sorry Jungkook!” Through the fabric of his shirt, you can feel the warmth he radiates. The more you focus on it, the more evident the rhythm of his breathing is, the pace of his heartrate.

“Look at me Y/n.” He asks one final time, and you obey. You find dark chocolate orbs and a galaxy lay within them. It’s all mapped out, the path you’ll take with him. It's clear and vivid and the distance is long.

“Listen to my voice. You will never be alone again. Namjoon will never leave you. I will never leave you. What happened last night does not define you and none of it was your fault. Not calling Namjoon, and not me coming along. I came because I wanted to. There is no shame in needing help. So please, don’t be sorry on my behalf. Don’t be sorry for any of it, y/n.” None of what he says is empty. In fact, you suck in every word that drips from his lips until you’re filled to the very brim. By the time he had calmed you down, you’d cried a whole night’s worth of rain and he’d held you close, collecting every salty drop until the stains on your cheeks were dry.

“I swear I will never ever leave you alone again.” He said, words muffled and lost in your hair.

♠ ♠ ♠
Saucy Note: All additional notes will be made at the end of every chapter.

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