Return Of The Knife Master

“Jimmy, what the fuck are you talking about?” Brian’s head jerked back like someone had slapped him when the smallest bit of understanding dawned on him. “Are you saying you’ve found a way to time travel?!”

“In the spirit of not totally blowing your mind, I’m going to keep this as simple as I know how. Time is a man-made measuring system to differentiate night from day, and break up the ages in a smaller, more palatable way, and to help keep everyone in line through the different stages of life. Therefore, in the laws of the universe, it doesn’t actually exist. Having said that, to the best of your understanding and the way things are right now, yeah. I move though time in a circular fashion.”

“That was as simple as you could put it?!”

“Without insulting your perception of reality, yes. I learned how to move freely through time.”

“Explain freely; because to my knowledge you’re born, you wake up, go to sleep, and live life in between. It goes on, you grow older, your body starts falling apart, and you eventually die.”

“Do you get older because of ‘time's’ effect on your body, or is it really just gravity taking a toll on you after years of pulling, prodding, and pushing your frame around the sun?”

“Okay, I’m not even going to address that right now,” he snorted, and his arms snapped across his chest indignantly. One ridiculous theory at a time was all his brain could handle, “Explain freely.”

“You know, freely. Outside of the conventional rules and wisdom of most of the population. Forward, backwards, in between the folds of space and matter, and around and back again. Freely,” he shrugged.

“Holy fuck, I need a drink.” Pushing himself to his feet, he ambled into the kitchen with Jimmy in tow. “So you’re saying we’re living in some sort of paradox, right?”

“Your definition of a paradox is?”

“Parallel universe? We’re living our lives in the here and now while another version of us is living our past and future at the same time, basically. Is that what you’re saying?”

“No. Not at all. There’s only one of us. There’s only ever been one Brian Haner Jr. to exist in this or any plane. And there’s only one Reverend Bartholomew Plague. One Johnny, one Matt, one Zack, you get the idea. It’s one form, one conscious. There’s never been another before and won’t be one after. We only have this life to live.”

“Okay so then…. how are you not immortal?”

“How do you want me to answer that?” the drummer asked, with a flex of his legs to stretch enough to hop up onto the kitchen island while the younger man grabbed a couple of glasses and some whiskey out of the cabinet.

“How about we take it back to middle school for a minute and you tell me in KISS format; keep it simple, stupid.”

“God, I haven’t heard that in years!” he laughed lightly now. “What I mean is, I could grab a knife and cut my arm and show you that I still bleed the same way. I could grab your hand and take you into something like the civil war to show you that people still die. Or I could just tell you, in as true to form KISS format as possible that people are born, live, and die, just like they always have. There is no difference in other ages. There are some caveats to that, and it is a little bit more complex than that, but we're taking baby steps here.”

“Okay, I think I’m starting to see what you’re saying. Sort of. So,” he paused now to take a long swig of the alcohol he desperately needed to calm his mind and anxiety. Another breath or two in and out, and he continued his thought process. “Basically, time doesn’t exist somehow, right? It’s not that time goes on and you age, but it’s something to do with your earlier comment on gravity’s effects on the body. So if you’re born, you live and die in the one track, the one rat race everyone is raised to believe in, gravity slowly breaks down your body until you go to your grave. And then, somehow, I’m not sure how to put it into words just yet, but you’re saying that you bend time, or you're dodging it or—”

“Circling through….”

“Yeah, circling through. Right. You’re saying when people begin moving around through life in a circle, they’re not living forever, they’re just dodging the bulk of gravity and therefore are able to be here longer than a typical life span?”

“You had it right up until the end.”

“God,” he groaned. “I swear I thought I understood for the briefest moment.”

“You’re going to get it. It’s right there. Just take this statement at its face value- in fact, every statement about all of this, take it at face value. We tend to try to make it more complex or simplify it further and the truth doesn’t bend. It’s right there in front of you, so just take this as I say it, okay?”

“I’m trying, here Jimmy.”

“By moving around, be it forward, backward, or in between, so long as you live life in a circle, you’re naturally moving in and out of gravity as you know it to be and work. Think of it like a shower, or the sun. If you push your move your body under the spray, it gets wet. If you push your hand outside your window, it’s in the sun. If you move in a straight line, you’re going through the water, or you’re exposed to the sun, right? If you have a big enough shower, you can walk around the stream of water, and if you wait until dark, or walk under a canopy of trees, you can walk ‘around’ the sun. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it does. I don’t know how to apply that to whatever the hell it is you’re saying you’re doing, but in the context that you’re saying it in, I get it.”

“See? It’s that simple. If you’re not standing in direct sunlight for thirty minutes or an hour, you’re less likely to get sunburned. Similarly, if you don’t live your life in a straight line in one spot, you don’t suffer the effects from gravity as harshly or quickly.”

“Oh my God, I think that actually makes sense,” he muttered. “I need another drink.”

“Well, catch me up. I’m behind,” the drummer snickered now and held out the spare glass to the still half bewildered man before him.

“I still don’t know what to think. I’m still having a hard time believing this is real and you’re here. If it isn’t, then everyone’s gonna be really pissed I haven’t shown up to the party yet.”

“Yes and no. Zack, Matt and Johnny understand. Or, I guess in the constraints of time, they will understand; but I can handle everyone else.”

“I thought you couldn’t change things when you moved through. Or can you?”

“In what way? I mean, in the general sense I can’t. Like, there are other things at play.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, for example, I couldn’t just circle into 1912, board the Titanic and stop it from sinking.”

“Well, that makes sense. If you’re not superhuman, it would be pretty impossible, I suppose.”

“Well, there is more to it than that, but I don’t want to confuse you. Certain things I can, well, let’s just say influence. For example, I can change people’s decisions to an extent,” he let out a laugh at the look on Brian’s face. “Before you say it, no I can’t read minds. I can influence people just like everybody else can. It’s nothing special. See? I can influence you to pour me another shot when I finish this one by just holding the glass out towards you.” When he finished his sentence, his head tilted back enough for him to down the bitter liquid, then he pushed it forward with a raised eyebrow at the guitarist.

“Okay, point taken,” he snorted with a raise of the bottle to pour his friend a second drink. “So you couldn’t like, go back to when Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK and take the gun away from him?”

“Lee Harvey Oswald didn’t shoot JFK dude, where were you that day?” Jimmy chuckled in a lighthearted manner for a few seconds before realizing what he’d said. “Not born yet, right. Sorry.”

“So you know things, don’t you?” Brian flicked an eyebrow up at him now.

“It’s hard not to know some things. When you’re there, you just kind of, end up at the right place at the right time.”

“Wait a minute. Do you know what you’re doing when you do this? Like, if you decided you wanted to go have dinner with Caesar this evening, you could?”

“Well, not exactly. I could circle back that way, sure; but it’s not like I’m able to choose who I’m going in as. I can’t decide to be one of his best friends, or one of his guards. It doesn’t work that way. But in the case of certain historical events, if I’m passing through and I’m in the general vicinity, I’ll swing by and blend in with the crowd, sure.”

“Okay, so you’re saying that you have to have knowledge of the event before you ‘pass through’ or whatever?”

“No, you don’t have to. It just helps. For instance, I’ve always loved mid evil times and so when I pass through that way, I have to really pay attention to my surroundings. I listen to what people say to me, and about me, to make sure I don’t end up in the gallows or something. Last time I did that, it didn’t end well.”

“Last time? What? I thought you said you aren’t immortal! Did you escape them or, what? See?! I’m probably the worst person to talk to about this. Every question leads to another question!”

“All in time, B. You’re only about an hour in. You can’t know everything I know in the blink of an eye. It just basically boils down to this, alright? If I decided to leave tonight and circled out, I could go almost anywhere. Backwards, forwards, around, in between, whatever I wanted. I just, essentially go, it’s seriously not that big of a deal. I’m still me, I’m still Jimmy Sullivan from Huntington Beach, California. I know and remember everything I’ve ever known and remembered. Past, present, and future. I know I’m thirty eight, according to the general consensus of time, and I remember that I’m a drummer, that I love Jack Daniels, old Nintendo games, that my appendix burst when I was a kid- all of that; but when I circle through, I’m usually called something different. And it is consistent. Every time I’ve been through the pirate era, I’m known as Captain Blackbeard—”

“Wait! You’re Captain Blackbeard?!”

“No!” he laughed hysterically now, “But you should’ve seen your face. It was priceless dude. No, every time I pass through there I’m known as Alan Courtright and every time I go through the first part of the renaissance, I’m Constantine Alberius. Anyhow, still me, just a different name. I have all my faculties, my speech habits, mannerisms, and I know I’m from the twenty first century. No one is the wiser, unless they’re one of the ones that also has the key to the universe, and then they would just call me Jimmy because, you know, everyone pretty much knows my name here!” the drummer relayed the statement with such humility, and his smile lit up the room.

Maybe that’s why, Brian thought to himself. Maybe that’s why Jimmy was one of the ones to know and understand this whole truth of life and the existence thereof.

“So you circle in or whatever, and you get to pick where and how you come and go?”

“Yes and no. Maybe some people can make it one hundred percent specific, but I’m more of an ageist myself. Meaning, I can pinpoint an era, or age, and go there. I’ll be somewhere in the time period, so to speak. I don’t know if or how I could dictate an exact year, date, time, and reality I want to assume. Reality, being, I’m not going to be able to just decide I’m Julius Caesar and I show up and people bow to me because I’m the basically the god of the known world, you know? It’s kind of like spawning into a video game, if you want to think about it that way. I don’t know the logistics of what actually happens, but I end up coming in as an adult male of roughly the same age. This person is not usually known much around town, and it’s easily explained away any time before the internet was invented by simply telling people I'm from out of town. Make sense?” hopping down, he moved to put the empty glass in the sink and opened the refrigerator to see what there was to munch on. “But if I’m in an era that is dangerous, like the Civil War, you can bet my ass is hiding out. I don’t want to be caught in the middle of that. Or in the case of the Titanic, I’m not going to get on the ship.”

“Can’t you tell others to not get on the ship?” he glanced over at his friend whose shoulders slumped now.

“I’m not really ready to discuss that part.” Tears gathered in his eyes, but bit them back as he tugged out the stuff to make himself a sandwich. “It’s really hard for me to know some of the things that I know are going to happen, but to also know that even if I could warn people, it wouldn’t do any good.”

Chocolate eyes widened now with the realization that as amazing as this all sounds, it had to be really difficult to live this way. A blessing and a curse, as they say. And of all people for this ‘key to the universe’ to be given to, it would be to Jimmy, with as sensitive as he was. As big of a goofball as he was, the man had always had a heart purer than gold.

“Okay, Jimmy,” he said finally, with a slow nod. “I don’t understand, but I know that if this could happen to anyone, it would happen to you. You’re the strangest person I’ve ever known, but you also have the biggest heart, and God knows that you’re not going to mistreat this knowledge like so many would.”

“And a lot of people do mistreat it,” the taller man said with a somber sigh. “I’ve seen some shit, Brian.”

“Yeah, it’s not like you’re going to use it to commit a bunch of crimes, turn countries on one another, or be stupid and use it to go back and eat a cake more than once, or relive having sex with a hot chick over and over.”

“Oh, well that I’ve done!” he piped up now with a gigantic grin. “Trust me, if you’ve ever been to Paris back in the day, or ever saw the curves on Elizabeth Fiore on the streets of New York circa the 1930’s you’d understand!”

-

Calloused fingers flipped through the thick glossy pages of the large hardcover photo album that he only took out on special occasions. It was something he’d had custom made about nine years ago in honor of his late best friend. Jimmy had really always been the glue that held everyone together. He absolutely loved and viewed Johnny, Zack, and Brian like brothers, but Jimmy had always held a special place in his heart as he did for many people; it’s just who he was. It was damn near impossible to be down or depressed around him; Jimmy just wouldn’t allow it. That big infectious smile of his, and his random antics, coupled with crazy stories and ideas made it difficult not to crack a smile, if not just completely burst into a fit of laughter, even in the darkest of times.

God, he missed him. He missed him more all the time, though he had finally worked through it enough for the subject to not be quite as raw as it once was. The first few years had been something he wasn’t sure he could make it through, because the only person on the planet who could help him through it all was the one who was gone. It was agonizing. And then there was the band, on top of it all. Avenged was what helped the four of them get through it all, but it also nearly destroyed them at one point. It was evident in every interview, each picture, and even every live show; something was missing. Part of the spark was gone. There was no getting around it, when Jimmy left, so did a piece of each of them.

He poured through every picture on every page with care. In most every single picture, Jimmy was smiling that big goofy smile of his. Whether he had eyeliner smudged across his face, a beer in his hand, blood on his mouth and knuckles, or he had a cast on one of his limbs, the man was smiling, and his blue eyes shining. A stray tear escaped hazel eyes at one particular photograph, and he stopped thumbing through in favor of taking more time on the memory. It was a picture of Jimmy and a very young McKenna.

Brian’s little sister had signed up for some sort of walk for life with her mom, and at the very last minute, Suzy became deathly ill. She was devastated and spent hours bawling her eyes out over the news. Jimmy heard about it and showed up to take her in Suzy's place. He was decked out from head to toe in exercise gear. The shorts with sweats underneath, wrist bands, tank top, and even a bright red headband; all of which looked like they came straight out of an 80’s exercise video. He even brought like items for her to match! When the two of them arrived, he only then realized this was an all-female event. True to who he was, Jimmy didn’t care in the slightest, and ignored all of the stares and whispers and signed in with McKenna anyway. They finished almost dead last, but neither cared. The picture was taken right as they crossed the finish line. There was Jimmy, looking as ridiculous as one could imagine, bent down behind McKenna hugging her with a smile that could light up the world on both of their faces. That’s just who he was. When the picture came back, the story became a massive joke in the Avenged Family, but it was something that McKenna would never forget, and the drummer always referred to as one of his favorite memories.

Just as he was about to turn the page, his phone rang. Shaking himself from the past, he glanced around and realized he must have left it in the kitchen near the liquor cabinet. He closed the album and placed it on the solid mahogany coffee table next to a bottle of whiskey and the partially empty glass that sat adjacent to it. By the time he reached the phone, it had stopped ringing. The missed call was from Zack, but he now realized he had actually missed several phone calls from both him and Johnny. He tapped the notifications, which brought up a history of the calls and texts from each man. It appeared he’d been so consumed with his trip down memory lane that he’d not heard the seven calls and five texts between them.

Dude, where are you? the first text from Johnny read. You’re not going to believe who I’m smoking out with!

Matt! Where the fuck are you?! ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE! Zack’s first of four messages said.

Concerned lines creased his forehead, but before he could hit the phone icon next to the guitarist’s name, there was a knock at the door. A sigh left him as a wave of guilt anchored itself to the pit of his stomach. It was likely Zack, judging by the furry of messages and the timestamps of his calls that call came in within a very short period of time. He ran a hand down his face and turned to jog to his front door.

“I’m so sorry, Zack. I must have—” he was mid apology while opening the door, when the sight of the man who stood before him stopped him dead in his tracks. “Jimmy?!”