Be Mine

My mind is exhausted. Working as a part time caregiver required working over nights when asked followed by classes in the morning. I loved my job, but I can’t deny that I’m dead by the end of the day.

Sometimes slipping into bed was my favorite part of the day. Often it was the only time that Jamie and I had to ourselves.

When I unlock the front door I’m greeted by our one year old Akita, Jack-Jack. He lets out a tiny bark. “Shhh.” I say smiling. “Come here.” I pick him up and bring him with me.

I peek through the crack of the bedroom door. The tv is the only thing illuminating our bedroom. Jamie’s body is somewhere in that bed but it’s now a nest and I can’t see any signs of him being there besides the tv being on. I let Jack down on the bed and he instantly began to walk in circles until he found the perfect spot. I never understood this.

I quietly walk towards the bathroom and in order to do that I have to pass by Jamie’s side of the bed. I’m tip-toeing around attempting to not make any sounds. It was hit and miss sometimes he was dead to the world and other times a single floor crack would wake him.

After my nightly routine and skin care, I make my way to the bed. I slowly try to creep in, Jamie moves around taking up all the bed he can snagging the blankets in the process. I lightly giggled and that was the thing that woke Jamie.

His eyes flutter open and he gives me a toothy grin.“Hi, love.” He reaches his arms out to me and moves his hands in a gesture telling me to come to him. Just like that, I am consumed by the warmth of his body. He kisses the top of my head and automatically I melt against his bare chest. I trace his tattoos with my fingers. He lets out a small moan at my touch.

I loved moments like this. Nothing to worry about, zero chaos, just him and I.

I listen to Jamie’s heartbeat. A perfect rhythm, the most beautiful sound, my own personal Lullaby. I don’t know how I ever slept without it.

“Jamie?” I quietly whisper. “Are you still awake?”

“Mhm.” He mumbles. “Barely.” and with that I hear soft hums from his throat.

I sit against the headboard. I can’t help but look at Jamie’s peaceful face; his hair is messy and spread against the white pillow case. The fluffy comforter is pulled up to his chin. I gently run my index finger down the bridge of his nose.

His lips pressed together and form a half smile, not opening his eyes at all he puckers his lips and says, “Kisses, please.”
When I don’t do anything he opens his eyes. He raises an eyebrow at me. “Baby.” He quietly speaks. He gently sits up next to me and wipes the tiredness from his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I shrug my shoulders, my hands fall into my lap. I push the silk sheets down to my hips. I hadn’t meant for him to notice I was worrying. As a matter of fact I was doing everything I could for him to not notice.

“I’m just sad you’re leaving for your press tour in two days. I’m graduating in four months, will you be back for that?” I blink away any signs of tears. I don’t want Jamie to feel like shit for doing what he loves.

“Sweetheart, I’ll be there. I would never miss such an important day. You’ve been working on this as long as I can remember. I remember when I first met you and all you could talk about was nerdy statistics and how you wanted to be a behavioral analyst.” He squeezes my hand. “I love you for that. Even though our lives have gotten crazy, I know you and I will come out on top of the world.” He brushes my grown out bangs behind my ear, his finger is on my chin forcing me to look at him in those eyes that make every problem seem small. “I love you.” He presses his lips to mine, god I will miss those lips.

I didn’t want Jamie to think I was going to fall apart while he’s gone . I’ve got things to keep me occupied… like, school, work, and I’ve made a few friends here in London. Jack-Jack would keep me company. I could always try some new hobbies and maybe while he was gone I’d go visit my family.

My mom missed me terribly and I know my brothers did too. My father on the other hand was a busy man, honestly I don’t know if he even knows I left…with Jamie of all people.

I just chose the same career path that made my father stressed and dead inside. I only prayed that it was his personality showing and not the job itself. I’d never known him as anything else.

I didn’t speak with him that often but when I did, it consisted of my future plans in business and if I was getting good grades. Dad wanted me to work for him in Virginia. He trained my brothers well and he planned on doing the same for me. He couldn’t stand the idea of me possibly messing the family name up. He thought I should have followed in my mother’s footsteps and become a teacher. That way I wouldn’t be able to handle a gun and nobody could hurt me. He thought nobody would take a woman seriously. He was still stuck in his old mindset and no matter how much I tried to change his mind and the world showed girl power, he didn’t care.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” I hug him tightly. Jamie and I had been separated for weeks at a time but never months. At least not since we first started dating.

“Oh, love.” He gently presses a kiss to my shoulder and lovingly nuzzles into my neck. “I’ll miss you too. You know, there will be time for visits in between things. I’d love it if you came to visit me. Joe won’t mind sharing me.” He chuckles. “We always have fun.” He kisses my neck, “I always love playing sexy boss lady with you. If I get what you’ve shown me… I might let you treat me like an actual criminal.” He teases.

I blush at his comments. Intimacy with Jamie was more than I could ever ask for. He knew my body, my soul, and my mind. There was no doubting that Jamie was my other half.

“I think tonight I’d like to show you what a bad girl I can be.” I taunt. “Take off your clothes.” I whisper in his ear. “Now.”

His jaw clenched, his eyes darken, and in that moment I know I’ve created a monster.