Carnie Love

Willow unwound her hair from the simple braid she’d had it in all day and pulled a brush through it. The soft waist-length waves were a signature of her “glamorous” look now. Her hair had only gotten so long when she was younger because there was no one who could be bothered to cut it, so it had grown like an unchecked blackberry bush. At least now it wasn’t a wild mess all the time, but she could never quite get used to looking so posh and polished. She set the brush down and padded out of the washroom and back into the main bedroom.

Damon was sprawled across the fluffy mattress again, staring at the ceiling. Willow climbed up next to him, curling up by his side like she had always done when they were younger.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she whispered. Damon turned his head to look at her and flashed her a lopsided smile that made her stomach flutter.

“I’m fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me,” he said.

“I’m going to worry about you, you’re my best friend.”

“Right now I’m more concerned about what’ll happen if Nikolai finds out I’m in here. He’ll find some way to punish you.”

“He can’t hurt me,” Willow said. “And I told you, I’ll wake you up before he comes. Once when he first started having me sing and put me in the wagon, I woke up with him standing over me and watching me sleep. It wasn’t an experience I wanted to repeat and now I have a weird sixth sense that always lets me wake up before he comes to find me.”

Damon frowned. “You never told me about that.”

“Because I knew you’d get angry and do something reckless. Your protectiveness is sweet, but I don’t want to just be this dead weight that always needs rescuing. You put yourself at risk for me enough.”

“You’re not dead weight,” Damon protested. “Come on, Squeaky, don’t say things like that.”

Willow smiled slightly. He’d given her that nickname because for the first couple of weeks after they met, she didn’t talk. She’d been exhausted and hungry and still a little shell shocked from escaping the fire that had destroyed the orphanage. Combined with her natural shyness, she hadn’t spoken a single word to anyone in the month since the fire. But she occasionally made mousey little squeaking sounds and since Damon hadn’t known her name yet since she hadn’t spoken to him, he’d started calling her Squeaky. That first night she’d tagged along with him, he gave her his coat to use as a blanket but she’d felt bad that he didn’t have anything. So she’d scooted over next to him and pulled the coat over them both, curling up into a little ball. Basically the same way they were currently laying under the big down comforter on her bed.

“I won’t let Nikolai find you,” she said after a moment. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. And I miss spending time with you the way we used to.”

“Yeah, I miss that too.”

Willow nestled a little closer, giving him what she hoped was a reassuring hug and he wrapped an arm around her to give her a light squeeze in return. Willow tried to ignore the way it made her feel warm and tingly. She rested her head against his shoulder and they fell asleep.

True to her word, Willow woke up as the sun was just starting to rise and fill her room with soft morning light. It made the room look pretty and dreamy but she sighed as she sat up. Damon was still asleep and she wished she didn’t have to send him away. She brushed some hair off of her face and leaned over, shaking his shoulder gently. He stirred and cracked his eyes open, blinking at her a couple of times.

“It’s morning,” she said quietly. “Nikolai will probably be here in about an hour.”

He sat up and Willow giggled softly, reaching out to smooth his hair a little bit.

“You don’t even move in your sleep, how do you manage to get so rumpled?” she asked.

“Talent,” Damon declared. He gently flicked one of her curls as he stood up. Willow stood and hugged him tightly.

“It’ll be okay,” she said. He smiled and made her yelp by giving her a hug that lifted her off her feet.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised, then he disappeared out the window.



“I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can.”

“No, I can’t do this.”

Willow was getting ready for her first show in Elgion and she felt like she was going to pass out as Justine helped her get dressed. She didn’t know how Nikolai had managed to generate so much hype for her already, but apparently the crowd tonight was huge and she wasn’t even going to be inside her usual tent. Nikolai wanted her in a more open space so she’d be fully on display; plus being crammed into the entertainment district meant they had a little less room to spread out so they had to improvise.

“Willow, you’re going to be fine,” Justine said, adjusting the butterfly wings that went with the dress. They were vibrant monarch wings, and the swirling dress was in matching black and shimmering orange shades. There were flowers and butterfly clips strewn through her hair too. The full effect was quite magnificent but Willow’s green eyes looked wide with terror as she took in her reflection.

“Let’s put a little blush on your face so you look less pale,” Justine said. She brushed a little pink blush across Willow’s cheeks, then put some glitter at the corners of her eyes. She nodded.

“Perfect.” Then she smiled. “I remember when you first joined the carnival. Now look at you, all grown up. You were always such a cute kid but you really blossomed. You’re beautiful.”

“Oh, I’m not really,” Willow said, embarrassed. “You’re just good at making me look that way.”

Justine rolled her eyes and squeezed Willow’s shoulders. “Just take the compliment for once, honey.”

Willow winced when Nikolai swept into her changing tent and waved Justine away so he could inspect her work.

“You really look like my little star,” he said and Willow saw Justine make a face from where she hovered in the corner. Willow’s skin crawled a little any time Nikolai called her that or found some reason to touch her shoulder or hair. He had to go out to address the audience and give Willow some ridiculous introduction, no doubt, but that meant that Justine was the one to help her sneak to her spot beside the stage. They took a designated route that kept her hidden from the crowd but she did pass other performers and carnies who worked for the Carnival of Wonder on her way, and it didn’t ease her nerves to have people turning to look at her in her conspicuous, elaborate dress.

Thankfully, she did catch a glimpse of Damon among them; helping Molly with setting up her fortune telling booth. They both gave her reassuring smiles which made her feel a little better. But then she was past them and Justine was making sure none of her flowers were crumpled and her wings were straight. Curtains didn’t work as well on this open air stage, so Willow stood underneath it on a little section that would literally ride up into the middle of the stage with her on it.

“You’ve got this,” Justine said. “Knock ‘em dead.”

Willow took the deepest breath of her life and somehow recognized her cue to move onto the stage and even more amazingly, she didn’t throw up or fall off the stage. It was a bit disorienting being able to see people’s faces more than she normally did; it was a lot harder to pretend they weren’t there. She focused on the music to distract her from the people staring at her and somehow she made it through the set.

Her knees were shaking even though the applause was thunderous. The little platform she was on descended amid a flurry of shimmering lights and a bit of smoke to mask her exit. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was out of sight of the crowd. She glanced up as Justine hurried toward her.

“How’d I do?” she asked. “It felt like a blur up there.”

Justine grinned, looking about as proud as a mom. “You were incredible. And look, you didn’t even throw up.”

“What a relief.” Willow rolled her eyes. “You might have to carry me back to the tent though because I can’t feel my legs.”