crybaby ghost writer

Tara had never felt so adventurous before. Going on the book tours with William was fun, but they blew by so fast that she hardly ever got to explore, and most of the time she was cleaning up after her brother anyways. William didn't like being on a ship as much as Tara did, though. It had engines and propellers to move quickly, but the pace made him seasick and he ended up vomiting over the side of the ship twice. Tara almost felt bad for him, hanging off the railing and pale in the face.

She hesitantly approached, knowing William was hard to talk to when he was feeling sick. Harder than usual. He barely cast a glance in her direction.

"Do you want me to bring you some tea?" she asked softly.

"No," he grumbled. "I'm just going to go back to bed. Don't bother me for at least a couple hours."

Tara watched him go, but she didn't protest. He wasn't going to ruin this adventure for her. She had gone out and splurged a little on getting herself some new outfits, replacing her cotton dresses and evening gowns for lightweight shirts tucked into breezy trousers.

As she walked the deck she smiled and waved at the crew members. Some ignored her and seemed skeptical about why she was there, but others couldn't help but smile back at her. Her enthusiasm was contagious, despite no one understanding why she was so excited.

Tara took a seat on a bench and removed her hat to feel a little sun on her face and the salty breeze in her hair. She sat up on the deck and read for a while until a shadow blocked the sun and caught her attention. She glanced up and saw Nick standing there, glancing at the book she was reading. She found herself blushing seeing that he looked a little more casual with his sleeves rolled up and shirt unbuttoned a bit.

"Doing a bit of reading?" he asked. "You might want to put your hat on. Your cheeks are looking red. It's hot out here."

"Yeah, it's just the sun," Tara said, quickly putting her hat on to try and cover her blush.

"Hugo Evers," he noted, gesturing to her book as he sat by her on the bench. "Is that Joys of Logistics? I've read Simplification of the Senses, but I didn't really retain much of it. I'm not sure if I want to simplify my senses."

"If I'm going to be honest, I don't feel much joy from logistics," Tara admitted. "I've heard these self-help books have done wonders for others, but it does sort of feel like a lecture."

"Do you need self-help?" he asked. "Seems like you and your brother are doing quite well. Sorry, I suppose that was an intrusive question."

"It's quite alright," Tara said, closing the book and setting it in her lap. "We are. Well, he is. I suppose I just tag along. I've been reading these in hopes that maybe I find a little more self-assurance. Will always seems so confident, and I feel like I have no idea who I am."

"Well, maybe you should branch out on your own," Nick shrugged. "Follow your own dreams instead of being his assistance. What sorts of things do you like?"

Tara moved her gaze down to her lap as her heart sank. She wanted to tell him that all her dreams were coming true, but she was watching from the sidelines. She couldn't tell him. Nick would hate her for lying and when the truth was exposed, everyone would throw her books in the trash. It would be over for everyone involved.

"I don't know," Tara lied. "Maybe I'll figure it out soon."

"I hope you do," Nick said, though he seemed to be a little skeptical of her answer. "Anyways, I was hoping I could speak with your brother."

"He's not feeling well," she said. "Maybe in the afternoon."

"Ah, not everyone has sea legs," Nick said. "Well, perhaps he has some research notes you could pass along to me? I just want to compare it to my own."

"Right," Tara said, turning a bit pale. "Notes. Um, can I get them to you in the morning?"

"The morning," Nick repeated in a flat tone. "I mean, yes, that's fine... but he won't be able to meet with me sooner?"

"I can ask, but-"

"What's that?"

Tara glanced down to see that he was looking at the ivory pendant she was wearing around her neck. She chewed on her lip as she took it off and handed it to Nick to look at. His brow furrowed with focus as he examined it up close.

"Is it authentic?" Nick asked.

"Yes," Tara said a little too quickly. "Well, maybe. I think so, but I don't know."

"What did William say?"

"Oh, um, he's not sure either. It looks authentic, but it's hard to say. I wouldn't bring it up to him in the first place."

"Do you mind if I hold on to this for a day?" he asked. "I just want to study it a little more."

"But you'll give it back, right?"

Nick seemed surprised at the urgency and Tara's apparent attachment to this pendant when she wasn't supposed to know much about Kerelia in general, especially something so obscure as a possible relic.

"I just think it's pretty," Tara said, unconvincingly trying to act like it was a superficial piece of jewelry. "I can find something else to wear. Take your time. Excuse me."

Tara stood up and scurried off before she embarassed herself further. She wasn't sure why she got so stupid and flustered around Nick, who just thought she was a ditzy assistant. However, she did lock herself in her room for the entire night, writing up very detailed notes that Nick could use for his comparisons. Her notes were so thorough that even Will could hold his end of a conversation around them.

The next morning she tried everything she could to ice the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and her frazzled experience, then set off to find Nick and pass the notes off to him. Her stomach did a flip when she found him already speaking to William.

William seemed to be yammering on and Nick didn't seem all too interested in what he was saying, which meant he was probably bragging about something shallow. He seemed a little annoyed that Tara was interrupting his story, but she tried to ignore the look as best she could.

"I finally found those notes Will put together for you," she lied. "I apologize for the wait. I had misplaced them."

"Well, thank you for finding them," William said. "Anyways, I'll give you some time to peruse at your leisure."

Nick was skimming through the notes, then glanced between William and Tara.

"Actually," he said, "I was hoping I could meet to discuss something with you."

"Oh," William frowned. "Right now?"

"If you don't mind," Nick said. "I'd actually like to speak to both of you. You can meet me in my quarters when you have the chance."

They watched him leave and Tara felt the blood drain from her face. Even William seemed nervous now, which was rare. He was normally quite good at staying cool and collected.

"What did you do, Tara?" he mumbled.

"I didn't do anything," she said defensively. "He asked for notes, I gave it to him."

"Did you make the handwriting too feminine?"

"No," Tara said. "It was actually kind of messy since it was so rushed."

"Whatever," William sighed, straightening out his jacket. "We better go see what the hell he wants."

Tara followed quietly behind William. Maybe she did ruin things by being so stupid and awkward.