crybaby ghost writer

Tara still felt herself trembling with nerves as she got ready for dinner, but William seemed relieved to be let off the hook. He couldn't be dumped since he was in on the secret and was needed to be the face of the books, but he didn't have to pretend to be a genius. He could just coast along on the voyage like it was a vacation.

Meanwhile, Tara felt like she was going to vomit. She already did once from crying so hard earlier, which was humiliating. At least Nick hadn't been around to see it. She had made sure to freshen herself up enough to hide that she had been sick, and picked a sensible dress to wear instead of the adventure clothes she had packed.

Nick smiled and nodded politely to her when she arrived at his cabin. A small table had been set up for them and while they were still eating the simple food served to the rest of the crew, it was laid out with proper plates and utensils. His desk was littered with her notes and books next to his own, and it was clear that he had been poring over them until the last minute.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Nick said as they sat at the table.

"Yes," Tara blushed. "I wanted to apologize again for my outburst. We've had our secret going for so many years and no one had ever questioned it, so I guess I got a little overwhelmed. It was very unprofessional."

"Quite alright," he reassured her. "Besides, I'd like to think of us as friends along with colleagues."

"F-friends?"

"Don't you think?"

"Yes," Tara stammered, smiling like a moron. "Yes, friends. I'd like that."

"Wine?" Nick offered.

"Oh, just water for me," she said. "I don't like to drink much. It makes me fuzzy. Which probably sounds like a lie, since when we first met I was a little... you know."

"I don't drink too much, either," he said. "Now that I know the truth, I can't blame you for drinking at the party. I'd be drinking too if I was watching someone else take credit for my hard work."

"Yeah," Tara said softly. "It's gotten easier over the years, I suppose."

"I hope you don't mind me asking," Nick said, "But why him? He doesn't even seem to care enough to read the books."

"He hasn't," Tara admitted. "He's never been much of a history buff. Very athletic and definitely much more socially gifted, but not quite so scholarly."

"You're being far too nice."

"I suppose I am," she said with a nervous laugh. "I suppose I asked him because he's my brother. He's my only family. He's... flawed... but at least I knew he wouldn't take the profits and leave me behind with my work. If nothing else, he's brought me along and given me my fair share."

"Yes, but you've also written two more books under his name. I just hope he's not stringing you along."

"Even if he is, it's not like I could come out with the truth," she sighed. "I'm a woman with no formal education beyond reading and writing, and I come from a family of no real money or status. You've been very kind, Nick, but the rest of the world isn't. If you went out on deck and announced the truth to the crew, do you think they'd all continue to join you on this voyage?"

Nick looked like he wanted to argue that Tara could do anything she wanted, but he knew the harsh truth. She was right. Tara felt a little guilty that she brought the conversation down a bit, so she put a smile back on her face.

"It's alright," she said. "I'm not one for the spotlight, anyways. I'm just glad that you know and accept it, because it means there's finally another person who can talk to me about Kerelia. I'd take one person I get along with than fame any day."

"Well, cheers to that," he said, raising his water glass to her.

They talked for a while about her notes, until the topic of the topaz macaw was brought up again. She toyed with the pendant as she thought about the theories she had omitted from her notes.

"I just think that there is more evidence pointing to the topaz macaw being worshipped as a god," Nick said. "I'm on board with everything else you've written, but I'm a little stuck on the macaw and why you chose not to publish the evidence. It's clearly something important. It's etched on the pendant you have."

"You want the honest truth?" Tara asked him. "Even if it's a little... out there?"

"I only want the truth."

"I don't think the topaz macaw was worshipped as a god," Tara said simply. "I've been too afraid to publish that opinion, even under William's name. I would be speaking against Igor Dunmer, who has fifty years of experience in the field and brought up the theory."

"Interesting," Nick said. "What do you think, then?"

"It was one of the last theories he came up with before his retirement," Tara explained. "Honestly, I think he was just half-assing it at the end. He could have said anything and it would have been published. If we go back and look at the evidence, however, the topaz macaw couldn't have been a god. It only appeared in the last hundred or so years of the civilization before it fell to political turmoil and civil war. When has a religion appeared overnight like that? Especially when they already had Verin, king of the spirits. To suddenly drop Verin and worship a macaw instead makes no sense. Especially a macaw with no name."

She looked back at Nick and saw that he was watching her with sort of a lopsided grin on his face.

"Sorry," she said. "Am I rambling on about nonsense?"

"No," he said. "I just never expected there was another person on this planet to think about Kerelia as in depth as me. I think I've met my match."

"I doubt that," Tara said, blushing fiercly.

"Please, continue. What's the macaw all about, then? It has to mean something if it's used as a symbol in the ruins."

"I think it was seen as a higher power," Tara said, "But not a god. I think the topaz macaw was seen as a bad omen. A demon, of sorts. It began to appear at the start of Kerelia's downfall, and saw a serious spike in symbolism throughout the years. People didn't worship it, they feared it."

"That's... very interesting," Nick said. "I can understand why you left it out of your book."

"It's silly," Tara said. "I have no evidence to support it."

"Then we'll have to find evidence when we get there," Nick decided. "I think you're on to something here, Miss Tara Palmer. Something big. I'm going to help you find it, and when you do, society is going to properly recognize you for it. You just wait."

"Do you really think so?" Tara asked, practically sparkling in the dim lamp light. "That the theory could be real?"

"I do," he said. "For now, I think we both ought to get some sleep. It's well past midnight."

She glanced at the clock on the wall and blushed again.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said quickly. "I've overstayed my welcome."

"Not at all," he said as he walked her to the door. "I don't think I've had a conversation this interesting in years."

"Me too," she smiled as she headed out. "Goodnight, Nick."

"Tara?"

"Yes?" she said, pausing and turning to face him.

"I'm glad you stumbled into me that night," he said.

Tara felt like her heart was about to pound right out of her chest.

"I'm glad, too."