Are You Just Bad News?

Amazing.
The only word I can think of to describe the next month for me.

At around the same time every night, Jeff and I would talk over the phone. And every night I’d go to bed feeling the same way – refreshed, and more in love than ever before.

Things were just going so great with us! At first, I thought things were wrecked between Jeff and I. Just the mere thought or mention of his name would make me sad, cause a frown to come upon my face. But now that things were better, and we were making progress, thinking about Jeff would make me happier than it had in years.

Maybe it was the element of distance that made me excited every time the phone rang. Maybe it was from being lonely and feeling separated from the town I lived in that made his familiar voice make me the way I was.

Either way, it was something – something I couldn’t control. Something I felt was going to get bigger than I ever imagined.

Other than the constant talks and planning with Jeff, things hadn’t changed. I still hadn’t gotten a job (Mike was working on it for me), my cat was okay, and school was getting better.

Andy and I ended up getting sort of close, as close as Mike and I were. It was strange, for me to all of a sudden be surrounded by boys; so to speak, where back home all I had was Jeff.

Still, Andy welcomed me and I took an immediate liking to his charm. When I was having trouble with projects in school, Andy would both come over and help me, or we’d meet at the local coffee shop. Often, Andy and I would get absolutely no work done, since we’d just get caught up in conversation about other things. He was good company.

Mike was jealous that Andy had ‘taken his girl away’ but I didn’t spend any less time with him. We still did absolutely nothing together, and I could hear him downstairs with the guys playing before he’d come upstairs to harass me.

The only thing that changed was that I saw less and less of one person…Will.

Normally, I’d see him downstairs occasionally, or at the mailbox, or something. But as the month progressed, I stopped hearing his voice, didn’t hear his lingering footsteps as he passed my door on his way down.

So you can imagine my surprise when the doorbell to my place rang, and I opened the door to see him stood before him.

…Holding a stuffed cat.

“H-hi Leah. Um,” he coughed. “Hey. I, uh, just wanted to stop by…and give you this.” He thrust the stuffed cat into my hands and looked down at his feet.

“Why?” I snapped, holding the cat warily. What if there was a pipe bomb or something in this? Maybe it was supposed to throw up on me too.

“It’s not gonna explode,” Will snarled. Yes, there he is, it’s like he never left.

My eyes shot up to him, squinting at him in anger. “Then why the fuck else are you giving it to me?”

He sighed. “Look, let’s just start over…Can I come in? This is a bit more awkward that I imagined by doing it on your doorstep.”

I surveyed his face for even a hint of an evil intention, and found nothing but honesty. I exhaled heavily and stepped aside to let him in, handing him back the stuffed animal. He slowly took it from me and looked around, and jumped when I slammed the door.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked, folding my arms and tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for him to move into the living room.

I mean really, common sense…

William shook his head and carefully walked towards my couch, slowly lowering himself onto it and seated the stuffed animal beside him. I shuffled in after him and sat next to him.

Well…next to the cat, anyway. But you get the point.

“So…” I said out loud, eyes on Will.

He wasn’t looking back, though. I know he knew I was looking at him, because he had that corner of his right eye twitching, almost itching to turn and look at me.

Not that I was much to look at today, dressed in my rattiest sweats and an old VS Pink hoodie. It was starting to get cold now, and the heat wasn’t going on for a while, so I dressed for bed in my hoodie now. I was always cold.

Something I’d never noticed about him before was his shoulders. Most skinny guys (or most that I’ve seen, anyway) are awkward and always sit up straight. But Will has a slight natural hunch to him, and his shoulders sat up straight and pointed. It showed the most in the position he was in now, bent a little towards his knees, twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

Honestly, who twiddled their thumbs anymore?

Finally, after an awkward silence of 5 minutes (or hours. Who’s counting?), William sighed and sat up straight, turning to look at me. “Look Leah…I’m sorry. I’m not the nicest to you, and what happened at Mike’s party was just…”

“Rude? Cruel? Unjust? Embarrassing?” I suggested.

He chuckled and folded one of his legs, man style, and took his other arm and rest it on the back of my couch. “All that and more. It was inexcusable, I have to admit.”

“I’m just surprised you remember,” I mumbled. “You were pretty wasted.”

“Of course I remember. Normally I don’t black out until I do something incredibly stupid. After you left the party, I crashed into my room and was out like a light for a couple hours.”

I nodded in acknowledgment.

“Well still…I don’t know, this is extremely awkward but I felt like you deserved the apology. And for all the other times I haven’t been nice to you.”

I eyed him carefully; “Did Mike or Andy put you up to this?”

“No, no!” He said defensively, holding up his hands. He shot me a lopsided grin. “It’s all me.”

“…And the cat?”

“A peace offering.”

I nodded to the left, to let him know I accepted his apology. I folded my arms across my chest in thought as Will inhaled and exhaled heavily in relief that I had forgiven him. Which I hadn’t, but at least he had gotten his apology in and the rest was left up to me.

“I do have one question though,” I said, looking back into William’s now glossy brown eyes.

He cleared his throat, “Sure, shoot.”

“Who was that girl?”

Automatically, Will knew whom I was talking about. But he avoided my question for a second, loosening his collar and fake-cleared his throat again, “W-what girl?”

I rolled my eyes. “You know who I’m talking about. The one in the orange from that night, she was really nasty to us?”

William sighed and bowed his head, removing his hand from the couch so he could run it through his hair. “I-I’m not ready to talk about that just yet…If you can understand.” His eyes shot to mine, pleading with me to let it go.

I nodded in understanding, but kept an eye on Will as he turned away from me and slowly freaked out on the inside. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down a couple times as he swallowed and took deep breaths, until he suddenly leapt up from my couch and started towards my door.

“I-I gotta go, all right? It was nice talking to you…glad we cleared everything up. I, um, I…bye.”

And with that, he closed my door behind him, and I heard him cross the hall to his own and then his own door slam closed.

I pursed my lips and carefully picked up the stuffed animal, rubbing the top of it’s cream colored head. I tipped his head up towards mine, and saw the dark brown eyes shine in reflection to the light, and I looked back over to my door.