To find a Knife(vomit draft)

Scotty francis( f scott fitzgerald) James robert( most popular names during joseph conrad's year of birth and death donna causwar( dean makepeace)

Scotty francis wants to hurt donna causwar his sister and james robert wants to protect her but for the majority of book we believe he wants to hurt her and scotty wants to protect her because of how charismatic scotty is and how awkward james is

Everyday I wake up in the same place, the same room. I read the same books and eat the same food given to me through the opening in the door. And in all those books a picture, the same one, of a girl. And on the trays of food, a different picture, same girl just a different picture. Who is she? There’s a clock on the wall, but not like the ones I see in the books. This one has 3 more sets of hands, one for the day of the week, one for the month, and one for the year. The years stop at 1974. I wonder if that's when I will be set free. It's December 29th, 1973, I'll be 16. I know because of the certificate of birth that is shoved in the back of a few of my books. It also tells me my name, James robert. What will I do if I get out? Will I go to highschool? Will I play sports? I do have gym equipment in here and books that taught me how to use it. The treadmill is my favorite. I can just run and run and run with no interruptions just listening to my records. American Pie by Don McLean is my favorite. It gives me a feeling of what the world is like. And maybe years and years in the future, it will remind people of what the world used to be like or maybe for the kids it will give them hope. In all my reading, the one constant I see is that humans are horrible. We hate each other. Every month on the 2nd I get a pile of newspapers from the last month. It just keeps getting worse. One good thing though, I got a new album today. Piano Man by Billy Joel, I have listened to some of his music but this is by far the best. I should probably tell you. I'm writing all of this in a notebook I've been given. Every 3 months I'm given another one. Hey, I'm back writing to you, I WAS LET OUT!!!! I'm going to a high school now and it's my sophomore year. Well when i said let out i woke up in a dorm room at a private institution. From what I've gathered, I don't think anybody else here is like me. I started the year late but the headmaster Mr.Finch was gracious enough to let me catch up to my classmates. He looks oddly familiar. He is a well educated man though, maybe I've seen him in one of my books? What if he wrote one of them? The name of the school is H.P.F preparatory academy. They specialize in kids who are petulant, broken, or tangled. Normally from childhood trauma or bad homes. Sorry I got off track, the main reason I'm writing is because I saw her today. I haven't talked to her but our psych teacher called her mrs.causwar. Shes…. Interesting, something about her seems off. She's not like the rest here. She's normal, no quirks, no scars, no anger issues, she doesn't use drugs, she seems competent socially. So why is she here? Why am I here? What's our connection? It is now January 15th, 1974 Tuesday, I've made a new friend Scotty Francis. He's been going here since he was 10. Before he was homeschooled. Scottys been showing me around and telling me a little about everyone and the secrets around the campus. He told me about some scandals around the school. His nickname is Paris, because of his last name, i don't like it much but to each his own. He also told me her name. It's Donna, he doesn't know much else about her but I suspect he's hiding something from me. I'm not worried about that yet though. But if I find out he's hiding something from me I will wait outside our shop class, tell him I need to talk to him, wait for everyone to leave and then push him down the stairs. Go back to shop class and ask my professor for help on homework as an alibi he’ll regret hiding things from us. I'm a sociopath, but as you’ll soon learn I'm not the only one at this school of broken plates. The broken plates are the abused and rash, temperamental ones. The broken bowls have a little more depth to them, they're the ones who want to change, they don't want to hurt the ones around them. And then you have the bent spoons, They've tried to change and realized they can't. They don't know what to do. All they do is sit quietly… sadly. Then you have us, the bent forks. We don't want to change. We have excepted who we are. We dont try to hurt those around us. But sometimes we get pushed and it happens. I havent met a knife yet… i'm curious what are they like. Today me and Scotty sat with donna in finance. We had to for a group assignment, im not mad about it. Just I dont like scotty being around her. I wish he would just leave us alone. Hes so charismatic and it throws me off. He smiles but theres nothing behind it. Im the same but i dont hide it behind a smile. This is gonna be a competition. Who can get to her first. Strategy or charisma. An unspoken battle. But to scotty. Its a game, everything is. Hes a fork but just a little bit sharper than me. Donna is avoiding us now.