You'll Be Forever Sacred

I woke up tangled in the sheets of my bed. How did I get here? I could have sworn I fell on the couch before sleep took me. I wiped at my face trying to get the tight feeling of dried tear stains off. Getting up I walked into the kitchen to get some coffee brewing, my feet dragging the entire way. As the coffee brewed I prepared some thing to eat and sat at the kitchen table. Looking around at my small dwelling it finally sunk in that I was only hurting myself more by staying. Maybe it was time to go home, I thought to myself. Maybe it was time to go back to Canada, back to my family. At least I’d be surrounded by those who love me and would never hurt me.

I finished my food on a melancholy note and shoved the dishes into the sink not caring too much that within an hour it would be swarmed with bugs. I walked into my bedroom and collapsed on the bed face first. I laid there a few minutes before turning over and starring a the ceiling. After I stopped going to work because of the little incident, there wasn’t much to do anymore. I was too scared to walk anywhere. Even a trip to the supermarket was enough to give me a full on anxiety attack. Although those trips came fewer now that my money was nearly all gone. Within the month I knew I would be evicted from my humble abode. Then what would I do? I don’t have any money for a plane ticket, or even enough to use a pay phone to call my mom, not that she was in my life much now. I could call Bill… But I know what that would lead to. I’d fall in love with him again, then he’d go an break my heart… again. Then we would go back to this. Maybe I could call one of the others then. Tom’s always acted like a brother to me, but then he might go and tell Bill, which will lead to that whole disaster again. Maybe Georg then. We had always been close and he always kept my secrets when I couldn’t tell Bill. Yes I’ll go to him, I decided. Finally making a decision I went over to the phone and dialled Georg’s well known number.

“Your call can not be completed. Please hang up and try your call again.” I looked at the phone confused, I was positive I had dialled the number right. I sighed and dialled it again only to be greeted with the same monotonous voice. God how I hated that voice.

Then it hit me. Maybe he had changed his number. Maybe they all just wanted to forget me. Slumping back into the couch it finally sunk in just how alone I truly was.

Then I saw it. There, sitting on the table by the door was a small white envelope. I didn’t remember it sitting there when I walked in. then again… I didn’t remember falling asleep in my bed. Going over to it I picked it up as if it might have the plague. I looked it over another time before deciding to open it. Inside on the inner flap of the envelop in fine black script was my name and “I’m sorry”. That was all. No note inside, nothing but a small handful of cash. My mouth fell open in shock as I counted the small notes in the envelope. Over $1,000! I went into my bedroom to find my wallet, wondering who would have sent the money, and why.

Maybe I’d been drugged. And Raped. And God knows what else, and this was my pay. “Shit.” I muttered to myself along with a few other choice words. I know I was desperate for money but No, I thought. I would have remembered something like that, even if I was drugged. Looking around the small apartment I realized staying here would only continue to depress me. Deciding I needed some fresh air before I left, I packed my purse and made my way out of the building.

Sighing I breathed in the fresh air as the warming sun bathed my exposed flesh. First I stopped by the bank and disposed of that awful envelope I had found earlier. After disposing of that I felt so much lighter, both inside and out. After picking up a few items from the bakery next door I made my way to the pier whilst munching on an éclair.

God I loved this pier. The calming water from the beach, the wind swaying the leaves hanging just above the dock. It’s such a beautiful sight. The pier was really only 6ft by 6ft with a long walkway leading to the platform. It wasn’t much, just some wood planks blanketed by some shady trees, but it was my little oasis from the busy German streets. Laying down I rested my head on my purse and let the calm waves sooth my worried nerves. That was until I heard the wooden boards creak under someone’s weight.