Jealous Orchard

"Hello?"

I could already tell he didn't want to speak to me.

"Hey, Ryan," I said trying to sound like nothing was wrong.

It was silent for awhile, but I knew he was still on the line.

"Why don't you ask me already? I'm surprised you've waited this long," he said sighing.

The annoyance in his voice seemed to fade.

"Does she hate me?" I asked desperately.

"No."

I sighed in relieve as I prepared to call Morgan. I had already thought of a story to tell her to cover my lie.

"But she thinks you don't want to see her. Which is what you wanted right? Because I have no idea why else you would lie to her," he questioned me.

"I don't know Ryan. It's so messed up. A part of me wants to see her, but another part knows I shouldn't," I tried to explain.

"And you shouldn't see her because you only get action from Susan if you cut Morgan out of your life?" he asked.

"That's not it," I said defending my actions.

"Okay. Well whatever reason it is, I'm sure it's a good one, because Morgan was blind sided and completely confused. I mean this is the nicest girl we're talking about and all of a sudden you don't-"

"I think I'm in love with Morgan," I blurted out.

He was silent for awhile.

"Okay, um, well that changes things. I thought she wasn't your type," he said.

And then I explained the huge ordeal that I went through this summer.

"Hm," he mumbled into the phone.

I could hear him shuffle around and a door open and close.

"Hm? That's all I get? Ryan, this is my love life we're talking about. I need more than a hm!"

"This isn't really your love life though, Brendon. This is Morgan's mind we're talking about. You keep fucking with her and she has no idea what to think of you. This whole summer you told me you were friends, but then Susan should up and you weren't. You became friends again, but Susan doesn't like Morgan so you try to cut her out of your life. Susan is your love life, and that's doing just fine. Brendon, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but you need to think about how Morgan feels."

I sat stunned at what Ryan had said. It felt like a part of me always knew what he was saying, but a bigger part of me was saying it didn't make sense. Right now I needed a friend who would tell me that everything is going to turn out to my liking.

Then I realized I had no idea how I wanted it to be. I'm in love with Morgan, but I've ruined that, and there's Susan. As much as I tried not to like her, she grew on me, and I'd feel horrible if I broke her heart.

"Should I call her?" I asked, not having a response to his speech.

"You could try. Honestly Brendon, I barely know her, but from what I've seen she's not the one to hold a grudge."

"I'll call you back," I mumbled.

I hung up before he could answer, and I quickly dialed Morgan's number.

It started to ring and I could feel my mouth dry up, and I had trouble figuring out what the first thing I should say. But my heart leaped, and splattered. I heard her voice, but it was her answering machine.

Hello, sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message and I'll totally get back to you.

It beeped and I stayed silent for awhile.

"Uh, Hey Morgan. I was just calling. I was kind of hoping you would answer. Um, I guess call me. Please?"

I hung up the phone and sighed. I knew she wasn't going to call me back.

It seemed like all I've been doing was calling people lately.

"How'd it go?" Ryan asked answering the phone.

"Answering machine," I sighed.

"Ouch."

He stayed silent but I knew he had something to say.

"Go ahead, tell me what to do," I said.

"Well, maybe it's a good thing she didn't answer. Brendon, maybe you can't handle being just friends with Morgan. I you cut it off with her, because you knew if you were with Susan and still friends with Morgan that you would still have feelings for her," he explained.

It sounded like he was eating.

"I just wish it could be simple."

"Brendon, when has anything been simple?"

"Are you going to still talk to her?" I asked.

I almost wanted to take my question back. I knew that it wasn't my business if he hung with her, but I also wanted to say he was my friend first and he should choose me over her.

"Well, I was planning on it, but if it bothers you I guess I'll stop," he said.

I knew he wouldn't stop. How could anyone be stupid enough to stop being friends with Morgan Lee? How could I be stupid enough to stop being friends with Morgan?

"No, Ryan. I'm not going to control who you are, and who you hang out with," I said knowing I shouldn't have put Ryan in that position.

"Thanks."

"I guess I'll let you go. I need to just think this all out."

"Bye, Brendon."

"Later."

I closed my phone. I wanted to scream but my mom was in the kitchen and she would send me to the doctor, even if I told her I was fine.

I tried getting a hold of Adam but he was of course with Taylor. It seemed like where ever I turned something reminded me of Morgan.

________________________

"Oh sweetie, today we're going school shopping," my mom said while I shoveled eggs into my mouth.

"Today?" I asked trying to not let the eggs fall out of my mouth.

"Yes, Brendon. School starts in two weeks, we have to get it done sometime," she said looking at me with disgust.

"Okay," I mumbled.

It seemed like only two weeks ago that summer had just started. I was nervous to start my Senior year. It was basically my last year to be a teenager, and then I'm off into the real world.

"Where do you want to go shopping?" my mom asked turning toward my sister who was eating next to me.

"Urban Outfitter," she said with out thinking.

"Brendon? Where do you want to go?"

"That's fine," I said bringing my plate to the sink.

"Well, that's nice. I only have one place to go," she said smiling to herself.

________________________

"Brendon, how are you doing?" my mom asked as I handed her a pair of pants.

"Fine," I mumbled just grabbing things that figured I needed for the school year.

"Sweetie, what color did you want again?" I froze in my spot when I heard Mrs. Lee's voice.

"Pink," she said.

A lump grew in my throat as I heard her voice so close. I could tell her voice from anywhere. It the one that hunts my dreams. It was her voice that I've been waiting to hear for sometime in person. My memory gave Morgan's voice no justice. I slowly glanced up from the shirt I was holding and saw her. She was standing next to her mom, and of course Taylor and who I'm assuming was her mother walked up to them.

"Pink? Why not the blue?" she asked showing the blue one to Morgan.

"Eh, I guess I could do blue," Morgan said grabbing the blue sweater.

"Oh, Brendon! How are you?"

My heart dropped into my stomach as Morgan turned around and stared at me.

"Hello, Mrs. Lee," I said forcing a smile.

Mrs. Lee looked at Morgan with a curious look and nudged her lightly.

"Hello, Brendon," Morgan said not looking at me.

Her voice was quite and shy. It was as if she was a young child meeting an adult.

"Are you school shopping?" Mrs. Lee asked looking at the shirt was holding.

"Yes, I'm here with my mom, and sister," I said gesturing behind them.

"Oh, that's lovely. I'd love to meet your mother," she said turning and looking at my mom.

I groaned on the inside. The last thing I needed was for them to meet. My mom hasn't even met Susan's parents.

She started to walk over to my mom, and sister.

"Mrs. Urie!" I heard her say approaching my mom.

I looked back where Morgan was standing but she was already gone. I scanned the room quickly and saw she was all the way in the back of the store looking at their bags. I glanced to the my side and saw Taylor whispering in her mom's ear as she looked from me to Morgan.

I sighed as the nervous butterflies started to disappear. I went back to looking through the shirt section but I kept watching Morgan. I watched her go through all her clothes, and not even once look at me. It was as if we had never even seen each other here.

"Brendon, Morgan's mother is just the sweetest woman on the planet. I can tell where Morgan got all her wonderful traits from. But how come she hasn't been coming over lately? She said you haven't been there either," she said grabbing the clothes in my arms.

"I don't know," I mumbled looking at Morgan. She had come out of the changing room and spinned for Taylor..

"Brendon, honey are you alright?" my mom asked waving a hand in front of my face.

"Yeah."

"Really? You have four of the same shirts. In the same color," she said rifling through my clothes.

"Oh," I mumbled taking three and putting them back.

"Did something happen between you and Morgan?" she asked looking concerned.

"I don't want to talk about it,"I said shaking my head.

"Hey, Mom. Can I get a Monroe like Morgan?" my sister asked smiling sweetly.

"If you want to break my heart, and you're planning on moving out and never coming home," our mom said just as sweet grabbing my sisters clothes.

"I figured," she said following our mom to the check out line.

"Oh, Mrs. Lee and I are going out for lunch tomorrow," my mom said casually as she handed the employee her credit card.

"Thank you, mommy," my sister said hugging our mom from the side.

I felt my stomach drop. Morgan was the only thing I wanted out of my life, yet it's as if God is pushing her onto me. Or just waving her in front of me, and saying 'look at her. She's so pretty. To bad you can't have her.'

How could he be so cruel and do this.

________________________

"So, who called off this friendship?" my mom asked.

We were the only two in the house.

"Mom, I said I didn't want to talk about it," I sighed.

"Well you know Mrs. Lee will just tell me. You know whatever happened, Mrs. Lee says Morgan feels horrible. Maybe she regrets what she did," my mom suggested.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Morgan didn't do anything. She was just trying to be my friend, and I ruined. I feel horrible for what I did. I'm a wreck. I want to run to her house with Slurpin' Grapes and just sit on the grass and talk to her. I want her to actually want to talk to me again. I want her to call me Bren, and to pull my hair. I want her. I want her so bad.