Jealous Orchard

I've been sitting in my car for the past ten minutes wondering what I was doing. I shivered from the cool air coming out of the vents but I ignored it and stared ahead. I went over my plan one more time in my head for probably the tenth time today. I sighed as I listened to the kids run down the sidewalk screaming.

I rested my head against my steering wheel and let out an aggravated scream. I started to bang my head on the steering wheel as I started to sike myself out even more. She would hate me. She would completely hate me after she saw what I did. Even more than before. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed trying to calm myself by thinking positive.

I turned off the car and sighed in relief as the cold are had stopped numbing my cheeks. I opened up my door and grabbed the two drinks that had forced me to keep the air on too high for my liking.

Damn the Slurpin' Grapes for melting easily.

I quickly got out of the car and slammed the door close with my foot. I resented my indecisiveness as I had to walk four houses down. I knew she would see me if I had sat outside her house that long.

I walked as fast as I could without breaking into a jog. I thought about everything else to keep myself turning around.

I thought about the book report that I already have to do. And how people were in a frenzy about football and homecoming. And people gossiped about the stripper that was murdered in a hotel in Las Vegas.

It worked. Before I knew it I was walking up her front steps and knocking on her door with my elbow.

I heard feet pad down the stairs and I heard someone sigh. I swallowed the dry lump in my throat as I heard someone unlike the door.

I took a step back almost preparing myself to turn and run.

But the door flew open and I was stunned. She stood there and I'm sure she had the same shocked face as I did. I had no idea why I was there. I didn't deserve her forgiveness.

The screen door was the only thing stopping me from touching her.

She stood in front of me with gray cotton shorts and a black dropkick Murphy's t-shirt. She had a thick gray headband on and her long blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun.

"Brendon?"

She was the first to speak.

I'm sure we stared at each other for two minutes not talking.

I held out the Slurpin' Grapes almost as if they were a peace offering.

"Can I come in?" I hesitated to ask.

I was in no position to be making the commands around here.

Morgan looked over her shoulder and looked back at me biting her lip.

"Sure," she mumbled finally letting go of the main door and opening up the screen door for me.

I quickly walked in before she could change her mind. I slipped off my shoes, and turned around toward her.

She stood a couple feet away from me with her arms wrapped around her chest.

I held out my right hand that was holding the freezing drink, and she took it.

She looked down at it and frowned. She bit her lip and looked away from me and into her living room.

"Look, Brendon. I already know you don't want anything to do with me. You didn't have to come over here and explain it," she mumbled putting down the drink on the wooden table in the walk way.

The cold drink had already started to sweat and form a ring at the bottom.

I looked at her and my heart ached. I literally wanted to die when I realized why she wasn't looking at me.

She was about to cry.

I had made Morgan Lee cry. Again I got the sudden ache running through my body, making my arms and legs go numb, and my fingers felt like ants were crawling on them nonstop.

I wanted to hold her. I wanted to tell her that I was an asshole, and that I was stupid to think I should push her out of my life.

"Morgan," I mumbled running my hand down her arm.

She flinched away from me, and I'd like to think it was because my fingers were too cold.

"Came here to apologize, I'm sorry for what I did," I said putting my drink down next to her.

"It's fine, Brendon. I get it. Can you just leave?" she said quickly.

I watched her brush a stray tear away. It was another stab in the chest.

"No, you don't understand. I can't stand not seeing you anymore, or more trying to avoid you. You're everywhere I turn and I can't lie to myself as say I don't want you in my life," I said watching more tears fall.

Her resistance to look at me let me know she didn't have anything to say.

"I know I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve you to forgive me because I keep doing this. I keep fucking with you, and I'm sure I'm just confusing the hell out of you. But I'm so sorry, Morgan. I don't want to ignore you," I said now moving to stand in front of her.

I watched as a small smile played on her lips.

"Dear god, I don't deserve you as a friend," I muttered shaking my head in amazement.

But when she looked up at me with her big green eyes she was still biting her lip and a few tears still fell down her face.

"What's wrong? I swear I'll do whatever it takes," I said frantically.

"Nothing," she said shaking her head. She let out a nervous laugh.

"Just don't do it to me again," she said looking at me a smiling.

But it was different and I expected that. Why would she give me back the friendship right away that I so carelessly threw out.

We stood there again for a few quite moments while she continued to wipe the tears away.

Even though I was glad that she had forgiven me, I was still sick to my stomach.

"I promise Morgan I'll never make you cry again," I said finally pulling her into a hug.

she let out another laugh of hysterics.

She was tense as my arms wrapped around her waist, so the embrace didn't last long.

"Do you want to catch up and drink slurpin' Grapes together at our spot," I asked reaching for my drink.

"Um, I actually had lunch plans with a friend that I have to get ready for," she mumbled.

It was even clearer now that I really had to gain back this friendship.

"Right. Well remember, I'll do anything, Morgan."

"Yeah," she nodded her head, as I slipped on my shoes.

"I'll call you okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled at me and I could see her eyes already becoming blood shot.

She closed the door behind me and I sighed. It never goes as you plan, but I'd like to think it went better than my worst image of it.

I took a sip of the Slurpin' Grape as I strolled down the street to my car.

I got in my car and grabbed my phone. I dialed Ryan's number to tell him how it went, but when it went through it told me his line was busy.

It was was never busy. Ryan hated talking on his cell phone.

Slightly frustrated that I couldn't get through to Ryan and share the good news, I called Adam.

"What's up man?"

I quickly pulled out of my spot and drove home.

"You'll never believe what I just did."

________________________

I won't lie. I was disappointed and shocked when I went to the next band practice and Morgan wasn't sitting on the couch.

I looked over at Ryan as he tuned his guitar.

"Have you talked to Morgan?" I asked.

"Nope."

I stared at him as he continued to fixate on one string.

We haven't had band practice in a while considering Ryan was just getting settled into college.

She probably didn't know if it was okay for her to go back to watching us or not.

"We need to start practicing, because we've been behind and I have a new song," Ryan said finally looking up from his guitar.

"Okay," I mumbled.

________________________

"You didn't ask her yet?" Adam asked staring at me.

"I didn't know I was suppose to! I mean it's not like I got the memo!" I said pressing my head into my hands.

"Did she really say those things?" Adam asked stifling a laugh.

"I didn't know a girl could cry over Homecoming!"

I shook my head and groaned.

"So she's not going with you?"

"Nope. She said I was inconsiderate and that she's going with Michael Cox. Cox of all people!"

"So are you two broken up?" Spencer asked finally jumping into the conversation.

I looked up and saw my closest friends staring at me. Some suppressing smiles and others not even trying to pretend like it wasn't funny.

"I asked my sister and she said that's a girls way of breaking up with a guy."

"Well that's good!" Brent exclaimed shoving chips into his mouth.

We all turned to look at him as if he was crazy.

"What the fuck are you smoking?" Ryan asked laughing slightly.

"Well now he can ask Morgan and tell her how much he really likes her."

Adam's face lit up with that suggestion. He turned to look at me and nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, Brendon. You can finally ask her out and then you'll be able to tell her how you feel," Adam said.

I'm sure he was just imagining what we would look like dancing together.

"Um, I'm not sure if that plan is the best," Ryan said now examining his nails and picking at the dirt under them.

"Why not?" Spencer asked.

"Well, umm, Morgan told me somebody else already asked her," he mumbled not looking at me.

"What?" I was completely shocked.

"She said yes?" I asked.

"Well, when she told me she sounded happy and said she was going dress shopping, so I'm assuming she said yes," he said finally looking up at me.

"Sorry man," he said giving me a sad smile.

"Did she say who?" Adam asked.

"I'm sure she did, but I didn't really pay attention."

"It doesn't matter. If Michael Cox asked Susan, then who's left to ask Morgan?" I asked in a matter of fact tone.

"Every fucking guy in the school," Spencer mumbled.

I threw my empty soda can at his head and he ducked.

"Geez, sorry, but it's true,"

____________________________

"Brendon?"

"Hey, Morgan," I said smiling at her as I stood on her porch.

"Hey," she said giving me a curious glance.

I mentally sighed as I took in her image. Her blonde her was in the natural wave that I had started to grow to like and she had on simple jean shorts, and I v neck shirt.

"I just came by to see if you were busy," I said still trying to hold the smile on my face.

Her stance was almost a defense. She held onto her door as if she was waiting to slam it in my face. And that screen door was still a barrier between us, not completely keeping me out, but certainly letting me know I wasn't welcomed without an invite.

She looked over her shoulder as if someone was waiting for her but she nodded her head.

"Yeah, I'm free right now. Let me just get some shoes," she said walking over to the closest in their main walk way.

She quickly returned with shoes on and a green purse I've never seen her wear. She opened up the screen door while she closed the wooden one behind her.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked as she followed behind me to my car.

"Where ever you want to," I said turning around and smiling at her.