The Romantic Cynic

My first encounter with Brendon Urie hadn’t changed my life like so many fan girls dream.

However, it did almost end it.

Apparently wherever I go drama follows. Now add to that alcohol and testosterone. You can imagine the outcome.

After the wedding from hell I had exchanged email addresses with Brendon’s sister, Lana. We had corresponded back and forth for a few weeks until one day I received a slightly strange email from her.

“Bailey! Would you get the hell of the computer!” Payton’s irritated voice rang throughout our quaint apartment. I sighed while rolling my eyes.

“What is it that you need Payton dearest?” I asked sweetly.

“I want you to get off that thing,” she said referring the computer. “You’ve been on there for at least five hours and this is your day off! You should be enjoying it,” she finished while walking into my room.

Opening a new browser and logging into my email, I turned to face her.

“Payton dear, there is a very significant difference between the words want and need.”

She scoffed at me.

“Besides, who’s to say that I’m not enjoying my day off wasting away in front of the computer?” I raised my eyebrow at her as she sat on my bed; her arms crossed.

“Well why don’t you want to go out?” She asked.

“Because,” I sighed, hoping that she would drop the subject. But as always, she didn’t.

“Because is not an answer,” she replied haughtily.

Rolling my eyes I answered, “I just feel like taking it easy.”

“Well what if we went to a movie and then to dinner?” she asked.

I brightened and nodded my head.

“Sounds good, babe,” I replied. “Just let me check my email and change. Okay?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Fine. But you’ve got ten minuets.” And with that she stalked from my room flipping her dark blonde hair over her shoulder.

Turing back to my computer I looked to see two unread emails, one from work, the other from Lana. I quickly replied to the one from work and went to open the email from Lana.

“Bailey,” Payton’s voice startled me as I turned to see her with two shirts in her hands. “Which one?” She asked.

Tilting my head to the side I pointed at the turquoise tank top. “Wear the orange scarf with it,” I said. “And I have some emerald earrings on my dresser.” She thanked me before throwing the other top onto my bed and rushing towards my black dresser. I laughed as she almost tripped over a shoe.

“Shut up,” she grumbled. “You’re not any better.”

“True,” I answered, “But I make it look graceful. You just look like a flailing duck.”

I was met with a pillow in my face and a playful smack on the arm. Pouting I turned back to the computer and began to read. Halfway through the email the phone rang.

“I’ll get it,” I said to myself and I pushed out my chair and walked swiftly towards the kitchen. I checked the caller ID to see and unknown caller. I didn’t even bother to pick it up as I placed it back onto the charger. Meandering around the kitchen I began to hum an odd tune. I was brought out of my thoughts as Payton’s shrill scream broke through the air. Quickly I ran back into the room to see her printing something off and jumping up and down in place.

“What’s wrong?” I asked while looking at her oddly. She ignored me and practically ripped
the paper out of the printer and ran towards me. “Pay,” I started but was cut off as she pulled me by my wrist out of my room and into the living room. Grabbing both her and my bag she continued to pull me about. Slightly irritated I broke out of her grasp and grabbed her shoulders.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked loudly. She just beamed at me and shoved the paper into my hands.

“Change of plans,” She said while slipping on her green sandals. “We’re going to the mall.” She then grabbed my wrist again and pulled me out the front door. Luckily, I was able to lock the door before she yanked me outdoors and into the car.

“Payton would you please tell me why we’re going to the mall in such a hurry,” I said while rubbing my face. Payton started the car and sped towards the mall like a mad man. Since I was used to her reckless driving, I wasn't alarmed as she almost ran onto the sidewalk.

“Read the email,” she ordered, death grip on the steering wheel and harsh glare at the car in front of us. “C’mon old lady!” She yelled. “Ever hear of a gas pedal?”

"I don’t think I'll ever understand how you passed you driver's test," I mumbled as she cursed loudly. I rolled my eyes at Pay’s road rage and unfolded the now crinkled piece of paper.

Bay,
Sorry it took me so long to respond. Work has been pretty hectic and a few unexpected responsibilities came about. I’ll elaborate later tonight when I see you...

I paused.

“She’s seeing me?” I mumbled to myself. I heard an impatient sigh as Payton now yelled at the pedestrians crossing the street.

“Pay,” I said softly, “We have a red light babe. Either way you can’t drive through it.” She grumbled while she sat hunched over the wheel. Rolling my eyes and turned my attention back to the paper in front of me.

I’ll elaborate later tonight when I see you, that is if you’re available. I know its short notice and all but I just got off work for a few days and decided to drive down and see the boys perform. I’ve got four backstage passes to their concert tonight and was wondering if you and Pay would want to come? I’d really appreciate being able to hang with you guys. Being around the guys with very little female companionship all week has made me an irritable bitch. Not to mention that I just want to see you. As do the boys. In fact they were dead set on you coming tonight; they all want to meet the girl that Brendon’s been gushing over. As have I but he just takes it to a new level.

I laughed. I could just see her rolling her eyes.

Hopefully you’ve gotten this in enough time. Give me a call at the number attached so I know if you’re coming. Please be able to come! I don’t think that I could stand the attempted beating from Brendon and the boys.

Call me and let me know. The show starts at eight. I’d want to meet you at least an hour before…

Lana

P.s There's a special lady that I want you to meet!

I smiled, and read a few lines of the email over again. Glancing over at the clock I saw the time read two thirty-four.

“I’m assuming that we’re going then?” I asked Payton who had now resorted to honking the horn at the truck in front of us. “Pay,” I said again this time flicking her in the head. Angrily she turned towards giving me a ‘what the hell?’ look.

“Did you hear a word that I said,” I said with anger in my tone. Her face went blank, answering my question. I shook my head, mumbling to myself.

“I said, are we going?” I gestured to the paper in my hands.

“Duh,” she said as if I were one of biggest morons on the planet.

“Then why are we going to the mall?” I asked while dialing Lana’s number. It began to ring and I held it up to my ear.

“God Bay,” Payton sighed, exasperated. “We need new clothes!”

Rolling my eyes I replied, “Like I said Pay, there is a very big difference between want and need.”

She just slapped me in reply as she cursed at the red light that we had come upon.

After I had told an ecstatic Lana that I would be able to come to the concert we discussed the details. The task itself was proving quite difficult over Payton’s angered cries. We had decided that we would meet for dinner at a small café two blocks down from the club that Panic would be performing at. Not soon after we had established everything did a very irritated Payton find a substantial place to park. As we had marched, actually I was dragged as Payton marched, toward the entrance of the mall, Lana had asked to speak with Payton. After a rather animated discussion, Payton had given me an evil smirk before going on a mission through the mall.

From there she dragged me through at least twenty different stores in order to find the perfect outfit.

Finally, two excruciating hours later, she had settled on an outfit good enough for her. It consisted of a white halter vest type top. Under which she wore a red long sleeved top with dark jeans. She had also gotten a last minute nail appointment for the two of us and had her nails painted a matching red. Mine had been painted a pale pink that looked almost white.

I had decided to dress it down a tad bit more than Pay and settled for a bright yellow top which clung nicely to my stomach and hung off my shoulders. Payton had taken much time in convincing me to expose that much of my collar bone and finally I had agreed. However, only on the terms that she would stop bugging me about dressing up, which she had decided that I should do. After all, we would just get sweaty and ruffled, so what was the point?

The rest of my outfit consisted of a bright turquoise ribbon that I had wrapped around my neck and another tied into my hair. A last minute add on had been a ruffled kaki mini skirt which I adorned over dark black tights. I had left my black knee length boots on from before, except they were placed above the tights.

From there Payton had hauled me into the nearest bathroom and attacked my face, her new canvas. Deciding that it would be best for my mental health, I let her have her way. However I left my hair down not wanting to do anything spectacular. Payton, on the other hand decided to do some complicated up do with hers. Overall, we had cleaned up nicely, earning us a few whistles and shouts as we lounged on the outdoor patio of the small café.

Lana had come a few minutes later and we had laughed our way through our meal. We had all decided to walk towards the venue deciding it would do us some good. We had showed our passes upon entering and were quickly ushered into the already crowded arena. Lana had excused herself and said she’d find us later. Therefore, Payton and I had stood on the side of an extremely excited crowd waiting for the show to begin.

An hour later, the opening band was on its last song and the crowd was restless with anticipation. As was I, but no need to make me seem too eager right? Lana and Payton discussed some new eye shadow as I surveyed the bustling crowd. Teens of all types were scattered everywhere.

I stared in awe at some of the oddest hairstyles that I have ever seen. It was as if they had seen a dead animal on the side of the road and thought that it would make a good hairstyle. I shook my head. Who was I to judge. If they liked that so be it but I could never sport those looks. Craning my neck over the banister before me I tried to catch a better glimpse of the stage. I stared longingly at the forming mosh pit in front of the stage. Sighing I turned to face Lana and Payton who had been staring at me.

"What's wrong Bay?" Payton asked. Casting another longing glance over at the stage, I said,

"I want to go up there."

She made an 'oh' sound before looking at the crowd herself. Lana followed suit. Shrill screams we heard throughout the room as the band closed with a large drum roll, and a bow. Suddenly the lights went out causing another outburst of screams from many girls near me, including Payton.

"Chill Pay," I laughed. She nudged me playfully as Lana tried to hide her small snickers. Finally, the lights came back on and Lana looked around confused. She began to mumbled to herself as Payton began to fight with some scene looking girl. I hadn't even noticed until I heard he angered shouts.

Leave it to Payton to fight with a teenager about nothing.

While Payton continued to berate this poor girl I walked towards Lana who was so caught up in her own world that she didn't notice me until I had put a hand upon her shoulder. He head snapped up so quickly that I was slightly surprised that she didn't do damage.

"You okay?" I asked concerned. She gave me a large smile and shook her head.

"Oh yeah," She replied, "I'm fine."

I gave her a look.

"No really," she explained, "I'm fine. I just need to check something." She started walking away. "I'll be right back."

I opened my mouth to protest but she was already lost is the sea of people. Sighing I turned back towards Payton who had finished fighting with the girl from before and was now texting on her phone. Screams erupted once again from the crowd as a boy walked out on stage. However they were soon shot down as the crazed fans realized that it was just a technician.

I laughed.

"Hey Pay," I asked while drawing out her name. She grunted without looking up from her screen. "Would you go into the crowd with me?" I asked sweetly as I pouted.

"No."

I faked surprise.

"But why? Don't you love me?" I asked while striking a dramatic pose. Payton rolled her eyes.

"Of course I love you, you moron, I just don't feel like getting my toes broken off." She said while gesturing to her white sandals.

"That was real stupid Pay," I stated the obvious. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the screen.

"Why don't you go with Lana," She asked while putting her phone back into her pocket. That in itself was shocking considering that her pants looked like they had been painted on.

"If you haven't noticed hun," I began, "Lana left almost five minutes ago."

Payton's head shot up and she looked around. A look of confusion flashed over her face before she muttered a few things and turned to me.

"Bay, if you want to go in, go in," she proposed. "I'll send Lana in after you. Yeah?" She asked.

I shrugged and told her that I'd text her and then began to fight my way towards the front. Finally I had made my way towards the front and was now off to the side. I had a fairly good view of the stage from where I was and I had been enjoying every minute of it so far.

As the band walked onstage with their playful banter at each other and towards the crowd, girls all around me began screaming their lungs out. I smiled at their enthusiasm. However, my smile soon turned into a grimace as the two girls behind me began to shriek like banshees. I tried to ignore them and focus on Brendon's voice but I could barely hear over their awful singing. As the performance continued, the crowd became rowdier.

I was being poked, prodded, pushed and pulled in every direction. At one point, my feet had been completely off the ground but I hadn't fallen. The heat from the mass amount of bodies washed over me, making it harder to breath. I was sweating profusely and my clothes began to stick to me.

Deciding to try and free myself from the entangled bodies, I began a slow path towards the side. Once I had removed myself from the very middle of the crowd I stopped by the large speakers. It was still crowded here, people surrounded me, but I had room to breath.

Sighing, I let the music take me away.

I could feel the sound waves beating through my body in time with the music. Smiling I closed my eyes and embraced it. Brendon's voice and Ryan's harmonies filled my ears and melded beautifully with Jon and Spencer's accompaniment. I nodded my head in time with the beat, clapping and yelling with the rest of the crowd as the song finished.

Brendon walked towards the front of the stage which was now to my left. As he approached many girls began their high pitched banshee shrieks.

I rolled my eyes before mumbling, "Way to go and break the sound barrier."

I heard a snicker on my right and turned swiftly to see a young girl looking at me.

"I know," she agreed, "It gets old after awhile. They do this at every show."

Laughing I turned to face her.

"I take it you've gone to a few of their shows?" I asked. She nodded.

"You could say that."

She tightened her light brown hair in its short pony tale and began to fan herself. I turned back to the stage to see Brendon running around the stage hugging Jon and Ryan. He attempted to climb over the drum set but settled for blowing Spencer a kiss. Then he blew a few to the crowd.

The girls, and a few guys, went wild.

"Morons," I mumbled at the same time as the girl beside me did. We both laughed before I stuck out my hand to her.

"Bailey," I said.

"Ella," She replied smiling.

"How's everybody doing tonight?" Brendon's excited voice rang throughout the hall. Screams erupted making him and Ryan laugh.

"Seems we've an animated bunch tonight, eh Ry?" He asked.

"It would appear," Ryan answered while he pretending to think, "Although I think we've had crowds with more energy."

"You're right Ry," Brendon said in mock surprise. "What do you think Jon?" He asked.

"I'd have to agree with Ry on this one Bren," he answered.

Screams erupted again from the crowd as the boys continued their teasing. That is, until Brendon told them to redeem themselves by screaming their hearts out. Ella read my mind as she placed her hands over her ears. I kept my hands down, against my better judgment, and waited until the painful shrieks and loud bellows ceased. I turned towards the teenager next to me and together we rolled our eyes.

"Much better," Brendon said into the microphone. Then came more screams.

Do they ever shut up?

Ella seemed to have thought the same thing as she rolled her eyes again. Then as there was a slight lull in the crowd, Ella began to jump about and screamed,

"JON'S A SEXY CUPCAKE!"

I laughed hysterically at her small frame as she continued to mimic the girls from before. She continued to jump about until Jon spoke into the microphone that Brendon had walked over to him.

"Thank you very much," he said with a cocky tone and a grand bow.

"ANYTIME BABE!" Ella yelled back. Wiping the tears that had begun to form from my eyes, I
turned to see the rest of the band looking in our direction. Ella waved like an idiot to Brendon who waved back before chuckling into the microphone. Ryan came and nudged him slightly and they walked towards the front of the stage together.

Four stools were then brought out and Ryan, Brendon, Spencer, and Jon sat upon them, instruments in hand.

The opening notes for 'When the day met the night' played and the crowd erupted into screams again. Taking a deep breath he began to sing, his low voice sounding like soft velvet against my ears. I smiled and hummed along.

Brendon began to survey the audience, smiling at random strangers and making strange faces while he sang.

He surveyed the crowd again and his eyes landed on something behind me. A look of shock came across his features and I turned to see what it was. However, the only things behind me were more people. Confused I turned back to see Brendon still staring with a slight smile on his face.

I continued to look around, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. It was then that I realized how absurd that thought was. There was no possible way that he would be able to recognize me from where he sat, that is, if he even remembered me. I continued to convince myself of this and not get my hopes up for something that wasn't plausible until Ella leaned towards me.

"Is it just me or does Brendon seem to be staring at you?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders before saying,

"I highly doubt it. I don't stand out much in a crowd. He's probably looking at you."
She rolled her eyes and voiced her disagreement.

"Nope. I don’t think so. He's looking at you. Enjoy it," she said, "I know other girls would kill to have him even glance at them."

I nodded my head. She was right.

And even if he wasn't actually looking at me I could pretend, right?

I came back out of my thoughts as he began the second verse. And I don't think I've ever taken the lyrics to a song as seriously as I did then.

So he said, "Would it be all right
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?"

I smiled as I imagined a moron would but I didn't care. I felt happy and a little giddy as his voice flooded throughout the room.

Well he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love

I stared up at him as he sang. The emotion in his voice and actions making the song all the more memorable. Everything melted away for a moment as I became immersed in the gorgeous lyrics and his mesmerizing voice.

All too soon the song ended and I was ripped from my daydream by someone knocking into me. I stumbled slightly and stood upright and brushed off Ella's concerned words. Looking back up at the stage, I saw Brendon's attention elsewhere and my heart sank a little.

Mentally slapping myself for even thinking that he would have noticed me, I hardly noticed the presence behind me. That was until he started breathing down my neck, literally. I brushed it off and stepped forward slightly, thinking that the person behind me needed some space. It seemed to work and I began to sing along as the band began to play another song.

Once again I felt breathing on my neck although this time I felt a large hand on my waist. Shocked I jumped and turned to see a very drunken man. His eyes were clouded and his breath reeked of alcohol.

I grimaced.

Sidestepping him, I tried to get out of his grasp.

"Hey baby," he slurred, "where you going?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I carefully picked his hand off my waist and moved away from him. However he didn't leave me alone. Grabbing onto my arm he pulled me towards him.

"Don't go," he slurred once again, his putrid breath washing over me. "I just wanna have a little fun."

"I don't," I said. I then pushed him off me and he stumbled back into a group of rather large guys.

Ella rushed over to see if I was all right and I assured her that I was fine. And it was true until the same man came back over and began to grope me. I let out an infuriated growl and punched him in the face.

"Don't fucking touch me," I yelled calling the attention from a few people. A small circle had formed around us as some people began to watch. With some difficulty, the man regained his balance and stood, touching his hand to his nose. When he saw the blood on it he glared.

"You bitch," he bellowed before charging towards us. At first, I thought he was coming at me but I learned almost too late that he was running at Ella. A look of terror flashed over her face as his drunken form came at her, and she looked at me for help. In an act of thoughtlessness I threw myself in front of her causing us both to fall to the ground. The
drunk tripped over us and rolled onto the ground.

By this time a few guys had seen what had happened and rushed over to see if we were okay. One kind man knelt beside me and helped me up as he did to Ella. I smiled and thanked him but my smile soon turned to a snarl as the same drunk stood and began to stumble towards us. However, before he had a chance to reach us two men grabbed him and began to drag him out of the crowd. I sighed. And turned to Ella who was shaking.

"Are you okay hun," I asked. She nodded her head.

"Y-yeah. I'm good."

I smiled at her and gave her a quick hug. Ella smiled but her eyes went wide at something behind me. I turned to see the drunk from before flailing his arms about wildly causing an uproar.

"Lets go," I said harshly and began to push her out of the crowd. Although, as fate would have it, it was impossible to move and things were beginning to get rather rough. A fight had broken out and now random punches were being thrown around. I pushed Ella behind me and turned my back towards the fight; attempting to shield her from the punches. I don't know why I was protecting this teen, I guess it was a motherly instinct.

Although, I'm not a mother, so I guess that doesn't work.

Somehow Ella and I had ended up in the middle of the fight and had fallen to the ground. Propping myself up with my elbows I attempted to protect her from the stomping feet that were now treading all over my back. Ella began to whimper slightly and curled into a small ball underneath me.

Mumbling a small prayer, I pleaded for us not to be trampled to death. I let out a small cry as someone stepped onto my back rather hard. Suddenly there was enough room to move and I seized the opportunity.

Quickly I hoisted the terrified teen with the help of a random stranger and then pushed my way to the side of the fight.

"Ella," I said trying to get her to calm down, "You'll be fine. I'll get you out of this." I promised her. She looked up at me with terrified eyes as we were squished. It was becoming harder to breath and I could only imagine it was even harder for Ella who was a good six inches shorter that I.

Suddenly an idea struck me. Trying to turn to the people behind me I asked,

"Can you help me get her out?"

The two boys and girl nodded and we hoisted Ella up into the air. She let out a terrified shriek and clung onto me.

"Ella you have to let go!" I yelled. She shook her head. "Don't worry I'll be fine! Just go!" And with that the crowd swept her away towards the front where I saw two security guards pull her to safety. I let out a sigh of relief.

It was then that I noticed that the boys had stopped playing and were now addressing the fight going on behind me. Abruptly, I was pulled, by my hair might I add, into the mass of flying punches. I let out a furious scream and began to kick and hit anyone who got near me.

It was chaos.

People were screaming and hitting each other. Others were pushing against the sea of people in order to get out. I was one of them.

Finally security pulled out many people from the fight, causing everything to settle down. They went back to performing as I high tailed it out of there. After a while of searching, I finally found Lana and Payton who hugged the breath right out of me. Finally, I had convinced her that I was fine and we watched the rest of the show in a comfortable silence.

I continued to watch as Brendon pranced around the stage but its seemed less enthused. He constantly looked out into the crowd, as if searching for someone, and it made his performance slightly less than what it usually is. I studied the rest of the band and saw that Jon had the same manner. I guess the fight had gotten to them.

Two songs later the band said a rushed goodbye and hurried off stage. The lights came back on and people began to pour out through the doors. I sighed in relief. My bed was calling to me. I began to walk towards the exit when Lana's voice stopped me.

"Bailey, what are you doing?" she asked.

It was then that I remember she had gotten us backstage passes. I sighed and walked towards her.

I was sweaty, tired and hurt all over. Not to mention how disheveled I probably looked. All I wanted to do was go to bed but no. I had to meet the band.

Great. Just great.