The Romantic Cynic

For as long as I can remember, I was afraid of liking boys. Of course, it was fine for me to like them but once they returned the affection I completely ignored them. I shut myself off from them and avoided them at all costs. Needless to say, I confused many potential boyfriends with my behavior but I didn't care. Yes, I'd love to date someone but I was always afraid of letting someone in. Letting them have influence and control over my emotions was always daunting. Not just daunting, it scared the hell out of me. Finally, by my sophomore year I had conquered that fear somewhat but I was still guarded.

I couldn't help being afraid.

Later that same week found Payton and I enjoying a long awaited girl's night in. Both of our workweeks had been less than bearable and Friday came much too slowly. Thankfully, though, it was here now and I was determined to have a peaceful night.

Payton and I both sat on our plush couch, snuggled into a large comforter. Various DVD's lay scattered across the coffee table before us, along with two large bowls of popcorn, some coffee and chocolate. Both our cell phones were turned off and the landline was under a mound of clothing in a closet towards the back of the apartment.

The ending credits for Enchanted rolled across the screen to our displeasure. Groaning, I snuggled deeper into the bright orange comforter that had created a mock cocoon of warmth and safety for me. Payton chuckled softly at my childish behavior. I merely buried myself into the covers while sticking my tongue out at her. She fake glared at me before saying,

"Very mature Bay."

I rolled my eyes and took a handful of popcorn. She gave me a look that I ignored as I launched it into the air at her. She shrieked before glaring at me. Needless to say, a popcorn battled ensued.

Ten minutes later, we called a truce and surveyed the damage. Nothing too detrimental had happened although it did appear as if it had rained popcorn.

Sheepishly, I glanced up at Payton whose expression was blank. Her short blonde hair was ruffled and had bits of popcorn scattered throughout. Her large grey T-shirt was covered in chocolate smudges and had numerous coffee stains on it. Suddenly, a large smile broke out upon her face and she let out a loud laugh. I joined in soon after and we began to laugh at each other's appearances.

We both fell onto the couch and stared at the TV which had reverted back to the main cable. I wiped a few tears away from my eyes as Payton began to sift through her hair. Laughing lightly, I turned to help pick out the pieces of popcorn. She thanked me as she did the same to me hair.

"I can' believe we did that," she laughed while looking down at her ruined shirt.

"I can," I said. She just laughed again and began to flip through the stations. One in particular caught her eye and she stopped. A dazed look grazed her face and a soft smile hung from her pink lips. I smirked before nudging her gently.

"What?" she asked. I wiggled my eyebrows before turning towards the screen. "Shut up," she mumbled as a small blush and wry grin came upon her face.

"You like Jon," I sang. She threw a pillow in my direction. "Hey!" I exclaimed through my laughter.

"I do not like him," she said, glancing around the room. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the interview on the screen.

"You do Pay," I said. "And he likes you to."

She rolled her eyes. Suddenly the images on the screen changed and a crappy commercial came on. Payton and I sat in our small mess and continued to watch the rest of the interview. Twenty minuets later the interview ended. Payton clicked the TV off and we both sat in a thoughtful silence. Hugging a pillow to my chest, I sighed.

"Payton," I said solomly.

"Hm?" she responded.

"I think I like him," I mumbled. Him meaning Brendon. And I liked him. The thought scared the shit out of me. I couldn't like him, could I? I've only met him in person twice and we've only talked for about a week. There was no way that I could like him. But still…

"I think you do too," she said with a smile. "Better yet, he likes you too."

I bit my lip in order to contain my small smile. Crawling towards her, I placed my head in her lap. Automatically, she began played with my hair.

"You think so?"

"Mhmm," she replied. "He was practically undressing you with his eyes."

"Shut up," I laughed.

"What?" she asked. "Its true." I snorted and she nudged me. "And did you see his reaction whenever Ella told everyone about that guy? He looked like he was going to kill him if he ever saw him!"

Rolling my eyes, I laughed and rolled onto my back so that I was looking up at her. I sighed.

"He was really nice," I agreed. She nodded, smiling. "And he's not completely unfortunate looking," I mumbled. Payton gave me a look. "Okay. He's hot," I laughed.

"And he smell's nice," I said dreamily while closing my eyes. Biting my lip, I squealed, squeezing the pillow to my chest.

"What the hell?" she asked. I opened my eyes.

"What?" I asked. "He does!" She rolled her eyes before patting my patronizingly on the head. I growled at her.

"Only you," she sighed with a smile. Rolling my eyes, I swatted her hands away and sat up.

"Well what about you?" I asked.

"What about me?"

"You and Jonny Boy," I smiled while nudging her playfully. She scoffed, trying to hide a smile. "C'mon Pay," I began, "We both knew there was something going on between you two."

"There was, wasn't there?" she asked with a dazed grin. I gave her a look while nodding my head in agreement. "And you know what the best part is?" She asked. I shook my head. "He seems like a genuinely nice guy."

"He does," I agreed. "And you deserve that Pay." She smiled at me before pulling me into a hug, which I returned. We sat for a while, my head in her lap and her hands playing with my hair, before Payton finally spoke.

"Let's make a deal."

"Depends on what babe," I said, yawning. I turned to look up at her, a devilish glint in her grey eyes. "What are you thinking?" I asked skeptically.

"Well," she began. "I like Jon and you like Bren. So why not make a deal to at least try and get together with them?"

"Like meet up get together or…" She nodded. I sighed not wanting to make this deal. Shaking my head in defeat I agreed.

"Fine," I said. "But you know I'm not good at this type of thing."

She scoffed.

"Please babe, your smart, sexy and intelligent. You'll have him eating out of your hands in no time."

I shook my head. "No Pay, that'll be you."

She rolled her eyes. "C'mon Bay," she urged. "You've got all the equipment you just need to learn the manual!"

I laughed at her before saying, "Alright hun. But just so you know, I don't think he likes me like that." She smacked me in the head before rolling her eyes at me.

"As long as you do as I tell you, he'll fall head over heels even if he hated your guts before. Which he doesn't," she added as an afterthought.

I laughed but was panicking inside.

What had I gotten myself into?