This Used to be Our Secret

It's 10:00 and its time for history, but I'm not moving. I decide not to go, and instead lay on my bed, silently. Shade isn't in the room, and I guess that he's out for a cigarette. When you turn 18 you are aloud to go for walks outside of the facility, with guidance of course. Shade is lucky. I am drifting off to a slight doze when there is a knock on the door. I get up, thinking Shade forgot his key. I cross the room and open the door, and to my annoyance, it isn't Shade. Instead, it's Jamie.

"Hmm?" I ask, tired.

"I know you told Matt you were busy, but I-" He looks at me and puts his head down. "Never mind, sorry I bothered you."

I suddenly feel the urge to help him. Weird day. "No, what is it?" I ask as he starts to walk away.

"I have no idea how to get to the lunch room…" He trails off.

I'm about to just give him directions, but I think to how hard they are to follow. Damn school. "Hold on" I tell him, and walk back into my room. I shuffle through the closest looking for one of my hoodies. I pull out an 'Edward Scissorhands' one and put it on. I walk back into the hallway and tell Jamie to follow me.

We walk silently again, but this time it bothers me slightly. "So your names Jamie?" I ask.

"Yeah, and your name is--"

Elle Hannah." I reply.

"Two first names?" He asks.

I regret opening my mouth now, realizing that he's talkative. I'm not.

"Yeah, my parents couldn't decide which one they liked better..." I trail off thinking back to my parents.

We now reach the cafeteria. It's empty except for the lunch ladies cleaning the tables. "Looks like you missed breakfast. Lunch is at 12." I tell him and begin to walk away again. I don't like the way I feel in his presence.

I haven't gotten very far before he's beside me again. "Is there any possible way you wouldn't mind showing me around, later?" He asks.

I want to scream 'No way!' and get away from him, but I doubt I have the energy, or the heart. "I guess so. Why the hell are you in here anyway? You seem happy as anything to me."

He turns a slight red and mumbles something uncomprehendable. I take that as a 'it’s a long embarrassing I'd rather not say story' and I keep quiet. He's quiet too, and when we get to our rooms, he whispers 'See you later' and disappears into his room.

It's 11:30 when Shade gets back. He smiles, refreshed after his cigarette, and falls onto his bed.

"You met the new guy, haven't you?" He asks when I stay silent.

"Mhm…." I answer.

"He's a nice guy."

"You met him too?" I ask, sitting up now.

"Yeah, just as I was coming in he came out of his room. Asked me if I was your roommate."

"He'll probably sit with us at lunch." I tell him, though I really wish he wouldn't.

"Toxic, too." Shade tells me.

I gasp. Toxic was Shade's only friend here, before I came. They stopped talking a few days after I got back, but not before I got the chance to get to know her. She was surprisingly nice for someone who lives in a Mental Institution. We got along well; I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed her company.

"That's good." I finally tell him after a couple moments silence. I want to ask what happened, why they stopped talking in the first place, but I know I shouldn't.
"Yeah." Shade sighs. I can tell he's happy about it.

At 12:00 exactly Shade and I knock on Jamie's door. He opens it with a smile, his side of the room is now covered in band posters and his clothes are already on the floor. His roommate's side of the room is perfectly clean, but I notice he isn't in sight. His name is Sonny, and he has obsessive compulsive disorder, in other words, he's a neat freak, but to such an extreme it drove him crazy, which led him here. Matt tells me a lot.

"Sonny isn't gunna like that." I almost laugh, and so does Shade, but we don't. Jamie looks confused. "Why?"

"We'll let you find out for yourself." I tell him, "By the way, this is Shade, who you already met."

"Jamie." He smiles shaking Shade's hand.

As we walk to lunch, I take a long look at Jamie, realizing that he's actually really good looking.

He's tall, but not tall enough for basketball. His skinny body carries black skinny jeans and a random band t-shirt. He has messy black hair that hangs in his silver-blue eyes. His smile looks as if it's too big for his face, yet it fits him perfectly. He's really good looking.

We walk into lunch, and the 3 of us get in line. Their serving pizza, salad, chicken, and soup. I pick up a slice of pizza, a can of mountain dew, and wait for the others. Jamie has piled his plate with almost everything. I don't know why I notice. Shade and I lead the way to our table where Toxic is already seated.

"Elle!" She sequels excitedly and gives me a hug.

"It's good to have you back." I tell her, and give her my best try at a smile.

Jamie looks from me to Toxic and back.

"Toxic, this is Jamie, Jamie, this is Toxic." I say introducing them.

Toxic smiles cheerfully and engulfs Jamie in a hug. "Nice to meet you jamess!" She squeals.