One Night Stands
The Truth About Heaven
"Ben Please" I begged, tears pouring down my cheeks.
"Kenzie I'm sorry" he said his eyes filling with tears as well "I just can't do this anymore" he said shaking his head sotly.
"Ben!" I begged again.
He removed the gun from the side of his head "Kenzie, There's nothing left for me. My parents are gone the band is going nowhere"
"What about me?" I cried "Aren't I something worth living for?" I cried.
"You'll be better off without me" he said softly and walked over to me.
"I-I don't wanna lose you" I said crying into his shoulder.
"You wont be losing much" he said softly and placed a kiss on my lips before stepping back and placing the gun back to his head.
"Do you really believe that everything will better when you leave everything behind?" I cried trying to understand what was going through his head.
"It will be better for both of us" he said as a tear fell down his cheek.
"Ben pl-"
I was cut off by Ben pulling the trigger, a loud bang and his body falling to the ground.
"Ben!" I sobbed running to him. "Ben Please" I cried.
But he was gone.
I awoke in my apartment. That memory had been haunting me in my dreams since the day Ben had killed himself and made me watch.
I sat up in bed and pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. I looked at the clock beside my bed just in time to see it turn to 12:01 AM.
It was the extct day a year since it happened.
January 21
I missed Ben so much.
It hurt to think about him.
It hurt to see the rest of his band 'Armor For Sleep'
It hurt to listen to the mix CD's Ben had made me.
It hurt to listen to the CD Armor For Sleep hd made before Ben had died.
It hurt to hear his voice.
But most of all,
It hurt to breath.
The only thing that helped me was hoping he was happy in heaven now.
I sighed and laid down again and tried to go to sleep. I didn't want to think about Ben. It hurt to much and at least I could see Ben's face in my Nightmares Dreams of the day he died, even if they did make me cry.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
"Kenzie"
I sat up suddenly.
Who had said my name?
It sounded like... no it couldn't be. He was gone and he was never coming back.
I got out of bed and walked over to the wall in my room that I had covered in pictures of Ben and I that were taken through-out the year and a half we had been dating.
I walked over to my favorite one. Ben and I were standing on a beach together, Ben was holding me bridle style and kissing my cheek while we both were smiling.
I missed his smile.
I missed his kisses.
I missed him.
"Kenzie"
I turned around suddenly.
There it was again.
Who was calling me?
I quickly walked out of my room and stared down at the door at the end of the hallway. the light was on.
But why?
That had been mine and Ben's room before he died. It had been the room he had killed himself in. I hadn't been in there since that day.
If I had had my way I would of sold the house, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Ben had bought the house for us on our one year anniversary.
So why was the light on?
"Kenzie"
The voice was coming from the room. I felt my heart skip a beat as I slowly walked down the hall toward the room.
"B-Ben?" I asked my voice shaking.
"Kenzie come here" the voice said again as I reached the door.
It was Ben's voice. I knew it was.
I placed my hand on the door knob. It was ice cold. I turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly.
My eyes filled with tears as I walked into the room.
"Ben?" I asked.
He was standing there infront of what use to be our bed. The room had been untouched in a year.
"Kenzie" he said a soft smile gracing his lips "Come here" he said holding his hand out to me.
I took it and he pulled me into a tight hug. His skin was colder than ice and stung my skin, but I didn't care. I wanted to be back in his arms.
"I missed you so much" he said softly holding me.
"Why did you leave me then?" I asked feeling my eyes fill with tears.
"I just had to leave" he said letting me go from the hug as much as I wished he wouldn't of "But that's not why I'm here"
"Then why are you?" I asked.
"I came down here to tell you, it rains in heaven all day long. I'm miserable up there without you" he said stroking my cheek.
"You're the one who left" I said a tear falling down my cheek.
Ben wiped it away and smile at me softly "I had to leave"
"You keep saying that" I said pulling my face away from his cold hand.
"It's the truth"
"Why are you here Ben?" I asked "Are you trying to torture me?"
"Thats not why I'm here" he said softly.
"Then why are you here?" I asked tears falling from my eyes like rain.
"I want you to be happy"
"I was happy when you were Alive. I would be happy again if I was with you"
"I was wrong Kenzie, don't believe that its better when you leave everything behind. It's not" he said placing his hand on my cheek again. "I wanted find you so bad and let you know I'm miserable up there without you. I don't want you to be miserable too"
"But I am" I said resting my head against his hand.
"Learn to live without me Kenz."
I nodded sadly.
"I love you" he said softly.
"I love you too" I answered and with that he disappeared, leaving me there Alone.
Again.
"Kenzie I'm sorry" he said his eyes filling with tears as well "I just can't do this anymore" he said shaking his head sotly.
"Ben!" I begged again.
He removed the gun from the side of his head "Kenzie, There's nothing left for me. My parents are gone the band is going nowhere"
"What about me?" I cried "Aren't I something worth living for?" I cried.
"You'll be better off without me" he said softly and walked over to me.
"I-I don't wanna lose you" I said crying into his shoulder.
"You wont be losing much" he said softly and placed a kiss on my lips before stepping back and placing the gun back to his head.
"Do you really believe that everything will better when you leave everything behind?" I cried trying to understand what was going through his head.
"It will be better for both of us" he said as a tear fell down his cheek.
"Ben pl-"
I was cut off by Ben pulling the trigger, a loud bang and his body falling to the ground.
"Ben!" I sobbed running to him. "Ben Please" I cried.
But he was gone.
I awoke in my apartment. That memory had been haunting me in my dreams since the day Ben had killed himself and made me watch.
I sat up in bed and pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. I looked at the clock beside my bed just in time to see it turn to 12:01 AM.
It was the extct day a year since it happened.
January 21
I missed Ben so much.
It hurt to think about him.
It hurt to see the rest of his band 'Armor For Sleep'
It hurt to listen to the mix CD's Ben had made me.
It hurt to listen to the CD Armor For Sleep hd made before Ben had died.
It hurt to hear his voice.
But most of all,
It hurt to breath.
The only thing that helped me was hoping he was happy in heaven now.
I sighed and laid down again and tried to go to sleep. I didn't want to think about Ben. It hurt to much and at least I could see Ben's face in my Nightmares Dreams of the day he died, even if they did make me cry.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
"Kenzie"
I sat up suddenly.
Who had said my name?
It sounded like... no it couldn't be. He was gone and he was never coming back.
I got out of bed and walked over to the wall in my room that I had covered in pictures of Ben and I that were taken through-out the year and a half we had been dating.
I walked over to my favorite one. Ben and I were standing on a beach together, Ben was holding me bridle style and kissing my cheek while we both were smiling.
I missed his smile.
I missed his kisses.
I missed him.
"Kenzie"
I turned around suddenly.
There it was again.
Who was calling me?
I quickly walked out of my room and stared down at the door at the end of the hallway. the light was on.
But why?
That had been mine and Ben's room before he died. It had been the room he had killed himself in. I hadn't been in there since that day.
If I had had my way I would of sold the house, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Ben had bought the house for us on our one year anniversary.
So why was the light on?
"Kenzie"
The voice was coming from the room. I felt my heart skip a beat as I slowly walked down the hall toward the room.
"B-Ben?" I asked my voice shaking.
"Kenzie come here" the voice said again as I reached the door.
It was Ben's voice. I knew it was.
I placed my hand on the door knob. It was ice cold. I turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly.
My eyes filled with tears as I walked into the room.
"Ben?" I asked.
He was standing there infront of what use to be our bed. The room had been untouched in a year.
"Kenzie" he said a soft smile gracing his lips "Come here" he said holding his hand out to me.
I took it and he pulled me into a tight hug. His skin was colder than ice and stung my skin, but I didn't care. I wanted to be back in his arms.
"I missed you so much" he said softly holding me.
"Why did you leave me then?" I asked feeling my eyes fill with tears.
"I just had to leave" he said letting me go from the hug as much as I wished he wouldn't of "But that's not why I'm here"
"Then why are you?" I asked.
"I came down here to tell you, it rains in heaven all day long. I'm miserable up there without you" he said stroking my cheek.
"You're the one who left" I said a tear falling down my cheek.
Ben wiped it away and smile at me softly "I had to leave"
"You keep saying that" I said pulling my face away from his cold hand.
"It's the truth"
"Why are you here Ben?" I asked "Are you trying to torture me?"
"Thats not why I'm here" he said softly.
"Then why are you here?" I asked tears falling from my eyes like rain.
"I want you to be happy"
"I was happy when you were Alive. I would be happy again if I was with you"
"I was wrong Kenzie, don't believe that its better when you leave everything behind. It's not" he said placing his hand on my cheek again. "I wanted find you so bad and let you know I'm miserable up there without you. I don't want you to be miserable too"
"But I am" I said resting my head against his hand.
"Learn to live without me Kenz."
I nodded sadly.
"I love you" he said softly.
"I love you too" I answered and with that he disappeared, leaving me there Alone.
Again.