I Always Hated Secrets.

To be honest, having fallen head over heels for Gerard, without his knowledge, isn't my only secret.

I can't look at my arms anymore, even if they are covered in tattoos and the damage is barely visible.

Someone knocks at my door and I quickly put my clothing back on, grabbing my guitar and setting it on the little two seater couch they placed in the middle of the dressing room.

I wiped my eyes and let out a shaky breath, opening the door slightly to see Ray standing before me, with a smirk plastered on his face.

I whimpered and tried to shut the door, but he lunged forwards and tackled me to the ground, slamming the door shut with his foot.

I started breathing irregularly and my eyes began to sting with unshed tears. I begged for him to stop, but like always he blocked that out.

"R-ray, no p-please. We have to g-go on stage s-soon.." I whimpered, as he clawed at my pants, pulling them down slightly.

"Oh, right." He mumbled. He started to get up and I let out a sigh of relief, before he looked at me and shook his head, grabbing my arms and flipping me around so I was laying face down in the carpet that reminded me so much of blood.

I shut my eyes tight and sobbed silently, kicking my legs as much as I could.

"Stop it, you bastard!" Ray seethed, as he wriggled his hand into my boxers.

I yelled out as the grip he had on my left wrist tightened and the pain intensified. I could feel the pain radiating all the way to my shoulder.

I clenched my butt as tight as I could, so he couldn't shove himself into me.

I sobbed harder than ever, I was so afraid this time. I don't know why.

Ray growled and slapped my butt, hard. It stung so bad, I cried out in pain, whimpering inaudible pleads.

All of a sudden, I felt his fingers tear into me, and I screamed out in pain.

I screamed over and over and over at the top of my lungs. I just wanted someone to find him doing this to me.

Anyone.

I heard the rustling of footsteps, but I guess Ray didn't.

He kept ripping into me, in and out. I could feel blood trickling down the inside of my thigh. He made me bleed, again.

The door opened quietly, but enough for me to hear it through my screams.

I jerked around to see Mikey standing there.

I sobbed and choked out a weak plead for him to help me.

Ray whipped his fingers out of me and turned around slowly, his face a sickly pale color.

I shut my eyes slowly, and when I opened my eyes again, Mikey wasn't standing there anymore.

Ray wasn't straddling the back of my thighs either. I turned my head and there they both were, rolling around the floor.

Mikey was screaming at him, screaming profanities, threats, everything. Ray just took it.

Then Bob and Gerard came to see what was going on in here.

I looked up at Gerard and started sobbing all over again.