Happy New Year

It’s funny. The stars seemed to shine so much brighter when you lay in the gutter looking up at them. Well, if you wanted to get technical, Frank wasn’t actually in the gutter, but lying on the pavement. But this wasn’t the time for technicalities. Gloved hands under his head, the only other thing that was somewhat protecting him from the cold was the hoodie he had on, sipped up as high as possible with the hood pulled over his head. Brown eyes gazed at the faint glittering above, in the corner of his eye the bright house he’d left ten minutes ago, ‘to take a walk’.

Ten minutes turned into twenty, and Frank found himself still on the barren ground, hands under his head, looking at the stars. No one seemed to miss him. Granted, it was New Years Eve and everybody had better things to do than keep track of him. He gave a light sigh, shifting a little. His legs were numb, but that didn’t bother him as much as the fact that Gerard seemed to be ignoring him. The singer had barely said a word to him in the last three days and as much as Frank didn’t need him to get through the day, it was still a downer to be ignored.

Twenty minutes turned into thirty, and still no sign of anyone missing him. Frank would’ve been frozen to the bone, had there been snow on the ground, but even though he was indeed shivering by now, he still didn’t get up and return to the party. There was a crash from inside the house, the music broke off and Frank heard muffled voices shouting, laughter and then the music came on again. Shortly after, there was another crash, but this time of another nature. Turning his head towards the house for the first time since he left it, the sight that met Frank’s eyes was quite a peculiar one. The door had flown open, crashing against the wall with the added weight of two men entangled with one another. Frank’s frown turned into eyebrows raised in surprise as he realised the two men were Gerard and Mikey, and that they sure as hell weren’t engaged in a fight. Neither were they carrying out some extreme form of Chinese whispers. No, it was quite obvious that they were locked in a kiss.

The first word to pop into Frank’s head at the sight was ‘brothers’. Followed by ‘wrong’, and then by a bout of envy. Or jealousy, he couldn’t quite tell. As the two men parted, it was too dark for Frank to make out facial impressions, and even if it had been light he would’ve been too far away. But the brothers obviously weren’t disagreeing, as Gerard ruffled Mikey’s hair and gave him a light shove to get inside again. Gerard himself closed the door behind him, dragging a hand through his hair and starting to walk down the path towards where Frank lay. Quickly looking back up in the sky, Frank heard the other’s footsteps approaching but didn’t indicate that he had noticed Gerard’s presence.

The sky with its gleaming stars was suddenly replaced by a round face with green-hazel eyes, looking down on him slightly out of focus. Black hair was in stripes from sweat that Frank could only imagine where it came from. Even though they weren’t that close, the smell of alcohol on Gerard’s breath was noticeable, and the vacant expression told on how much he’d drunk.

“Hi, Frank,” he said, a misty smile coming to his lips.

“Hi, Gerard,” Frank replied with a blank face.

“Having fun?”

“Somewhat. I saw you are.”

The smile grew. “Oh, Mikey. New Years Eve, brotherly love. So fucking wasted,” he then added, confirming what Frank already knew.

Overcome by a need for closeness, Frank reached up and tugged at Gerard’s sleeve, almost causing the other to topple and crash down on him, but it all turned out well as Gerard lay down next to him. Frank pulled at his shoulders, tugging him up on his torso in order to reach his lips. The hard ground and Gerard’s weight didn’t make his position very comfortable, but right now he didn’t care. Gerard obliged to his tugs, and when Frank put a hand behind the other man’s head to push it down toward him, there was only a few seconds’ resistance before he gave in and kissed him.

It felt damned good. After the ignorance, this was a great way for Frank to get revenge. He wasn’t giving Gerard a say in this. Breaking the kiss, he found Gerard grinning drunkenly.

“Hi, Frank...” A chuckle.

Frank gave a snort. “Hi, Gee.”

More chuckling. “Having fun?”

“Somewhat.”

“That must’ve been more than ‘somewhat’.”

Frank poked him in the chest. “Don’t overestimate yourself.”

Gerard’s grin seemed plastered on his face. “You’re a good kisser. Better than Mikey. Gimme s’more of that...”

Frank turned his face away as Gerard tried to kiss him again, trying to ignore the lips against his cheek and neck. What was he trying anyway? Gerard was drunk off his face, that was the only reason Frank had dared to kiss him in the first place. He probably wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. Which was probably a great incentive to take advantage of the situation. But it wasn’t that Frank loved Gerard... he was merely curious. And he didn’t want to screw things up by just being curious.

“Frankie...” Gerard’s whisper smelled strongly of alcohol now he was so close. His lips touched the corner of Frank’s mouth, and that was all Frank needed to feel to succumb to his wants again. One gloved hand was pushed in under Gerard’s shirt, at which the singer gave a squeal and recoiled. Confused and annoyed by the sudden break-off, Frank propped himself up on his elbows and frowned.

“What?” he almost snapped.

“Your hands are cold..!” Gerard giggled, hair in his face. He then crept forwards on his knees, sly smile on his lips. “Come inside, and I’ll warm you up.”

It took a lot of self-control for Frank to keep an unaffected face at the words, and he got to his feet in a most collected manner, helping his friend up as well. When offered the very thing he’d been fantasising about, he was suddenly cautious. As they walked back toward the house, Gerard kept teasing him with kisses and curious fingers, and Frank could no longer ignore the feelings waking up inside. Well in the hallway, he put up no resistance as Gerard pulled him aside and away from the eyes of the other party guests, letting his hesitance fly further and further away with each new touch.

* * *

New Years Day. At least the New Years wasn’t like Christmas, when you’d go to a million parties within a few weeks. New Years Eve was a once-a-year event, and perhaps that was all for the best, considering all the stupid things that usually occurred.

As Frank woke up, he wasn’t sure whether what he had done was acceptable, stupid or just plain idiocy. He found that he was half-dressed, on the covers of someone’s bed – probably the party host’s – and lying with his head on the chest of Gerard Way. Since he had never gotten properly drunk, Frank had no problem with remembering last night, after a few minutes of collecting his thoughts. Without stirring too much, he tried to locate a clock and found one on the bedside table. 12:01pm. Just listening for a while, he came to the conclusion that he was probably the only one awake. Careful not to wake his bedmate, he sat up and turned to get a proper look at him.

Black strands of hair clung to Gerard’s pale face, his mouth slightly open as he breathed, heavy and slow. He seemed quite knocked out, and Frank noticed he was dressed just like himself. There was nothing not to like about the sleeping man – if anything, he looked so very innocent when sleeping that one could hardly believe he was the same person as last night.

Leaning in, Frank couldn’t resist placing a light kiss on the other man’s lips, mumbling a ‘Happy New Year’. He raised an eyebrow as Gerard stirred, replying with the same, only barely audible. Smiling, Frank located his jeans and underwear as he stood up from the bed, pulling the garments on as he moved out of the room, heading for the kitchen. There were sleeping figures all over the place, some on couches and various other pieces of furniture, some directly on the floor or leaned against the walls, and the odd huddle of bodies supporting each other. Stepping over a couple blocking the doorway to the kitchen, Frank was surprised to find he was not alone. By the kitchen table in the sunlight sat Mikey, occupying two chairs with his feet on one of them, cradling a cup of coffee in his hands. The bassist gave Frank a weak smile that quickly vanished.

“Morning, Mikey. Rough night?”

“You tell me about it.”

“Hmm..?” Frank had his back to the other, figuring out how to work the coffee machine. His face would’ve told on his sudden worry that Mikey knew what had happened last night.

“So fucking hung-over, man... But I can’t sleep. Some fucking internal clock telling me I have to get up before twelve o’clock.”

“I feel you,” Frank replied as he poured coffee powder into the machine, followed by water. Turning his back on the machine while it brewed his coffee, he smiled at Mikey. “Happy New Year.”

“Yeah, whatever...” Mikey said, managing a chuckle before grimacing.

“I saw you got it on with your brother last night,” Frank teased, aware of that he was treading unsafe grounds by doing so. Unsafe for him, that was.

Mikey nodded, a smug smile on his lips. “Hell yeah. I wouldn’t think I was the worst one, though,” he continued with a wink.

There was a moment when Frank could’ve sworn Mikey knew, but then the other man turned his attention to his coffee without any further indications. The silence fell over the kitchen, until Mikey spoke up to point out that the coffee was ready. Pouring a cup for himself, Frank also refilled Mikey’s.

“How many have you had?”

“This is my third.”

“You shouldn’t have too many, it’ll fuck your stomach up.”

“Right now I’m more concerned with curing my hang-over.”

About then was when Gerard entered the room. Still dressed only in his shirt, his entrance provoked a fierce reaction from his brother.

“What the fuck, Gee, get some pants on!” Mikey exclaimed, scrunching his face up.

“The shirt covers up enough!” Gerard protested groggily, gesturing at the length of his garment.

“But I don’t wanna see your fucking dick hanging about..! Come on, at least get some underwear on, you can fucking have mine...”

“No thanks!” Gerard laughed, scratching his head. “Is there any coffee for me?” he then proceeded to ask.

“I’ll make some more,” Frank quickly offered, happy for a reason to turn away from the sight of the half-naked singer. It was one thing to watch him as he was asleep, alone – in front of Mikey, wide awake, that was something completely different.

After continued protests from his little brother, Gerard wandered away somewhat unsteadily to find the rest of his clothes, and Mikey gave Frank a knowing look.

“Someone had fun last night.”

Quickly occupying himself with his coffee, taking a large mouthful, Frank gave something between a nod and a shrug, accompanied by a semi-affirmative sound. Mikey furrowed his brows at this, putting his cup on the table.

“You know anything?”

No reply.

“Frank?” A small smile came to Mikey’s lips. “Come on, you’re making me curious, man...”

“I don’t know anything,” Frank mumbled into his cup.

“Like hell you do. Tell me.”

He was being way too obvious. He just knew it. Mikey would figure it out whether Frank told him or not. Fuck... Then again, what was so shameful about it? Well, perhaps the fact that Mikey was Gerard’s brother. And the fact that Frank wasn’t gay. And the fact that you didn’t fuck your bandmates, not even on New Years Eve. You just didn’t.

“Come on, Frank, tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

Frank didn’t know if he should be thankful or mortified by Gerard’s reappearance, but Mikey gave him no time to decide either way.

“Frank knows what you were up to last night, and he’s going to tell me.”

Meeting Gerard’s eyes over the brim of his cup, Frank saw the momentary confusion, followed by the stunned realisation, the reaction delayed by the hang-over. So he did remember, after all. Was that a good or a bad thing?

“Yeah...” Gerard said, pulling the word out. “Yeah,” he then repeated with more certainty. “I can say one thing, Mikey – your girlfriend is hot stuff.”

“You—hey...” Mikey’s smile instantly disappeared, to be replaced by a frown. “What the... No way, you didn’t—”

Laughing, Gerard gave his brother a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t stick you nose where it don’t belong, Mikey! Chill out, I didn’t touch her. But still...” he added with a glint in his eye, causing Mikey to kick his shin. “Ow, fuck..! Hey, Frank, any coffee yet? Fucking...”

Rubbing his leg as he sat down, when Frank handed him his cup Gerard caught his eyes, which was the last thing Frank wanted right now. The look in them wasn’t in anyway disapproving, regretful or even disgusted, and Frank had expected all of those. Instead it was intensely focused on him, so very different from last night’s hazy gaze. Glancing to see that Mikey was preoccupied, Frank returned the look with a quick smile, before standing up and leaning back against the refrigerator.

“Happy New Year, Frank.”

“Happy New Year.”

“A good one?”

“One can always hope.”

“To a pleasant 2008,” Gerard smiled, raising his cup with a wink.

Perhaps it hadn’t been too bad a decision, after all.