You Fight For All The Wrong Reasons
Misinterpretation
I met a frazzled Christina at the bus stop. Her normally silky smooth blonde locks were tangled, and she was shaking as though it were 20 degrees out, not a warm day for the end of September. She was buttoning and unbuttoning the buttons on her cardigan nervously.
“Hey.”
She looked up. Dark circles were under her eyes. “Couldn’t sleep last night,” she explained.
“Me neither.” I kicked a pebble with one blue Converse.
“He’s really gone, isn’t he?”
Without warning, tears leaked from my bloodshot eyes. “Yeah.”
Christina passed a quivering hand over her eyes. I hugged her, her trembling body shaking even harder now, warm tears soaking into my shirt. “I can’t believe he’s gone,” she cried over and over again. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
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That Monday was unbearable. Little pieces of Ray kept on sneaking their way into our day.
I found myself writing his name on my math homework instead of my own. And when I erased it, I accidentally did it again.
No one could bear to say why Ray’s seat was empty when the teacher took attendance.
I had never seen Ryan closer to tears than when we went down to the library for research, and two of his books were written by authors named Ray.
A sophomore was looking at a copy of the paper. “Look!” he said to his friends. “Some kid went missing!” He pointed to Ray’s picture. Mitch gave him a black eye that smoothly went under the radar of the principle (Mitch does his beatings after school).
We were all slowly being torn to shreds. But Cam was in a bad position as well. At least in the pack’s eyes.
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A cold electric wave passed over me as Cam squeezed my hand. Our bodies were tangled on the deck of my house. We had laid like this for hours, wasting away in the sunset’s absence.
“He doesn’t deserve this,” Cam said suddenly, breaking the silence.
What he meant was that Ray didn’t deserve my sympathy.
“He couldn’t accept you for who you are,” Cam elaborated. “He doesn’t deserve your sorrow.”
My eyes skimmed over his foreign face. For once, he didn’t fully understand.
He was the one misinterpreting.
Or maybe…I let my head sink into his chest as I realized something not for the first time.
Maybe I’m the one who couldn’t accept me.
“Hey.”
She looked up. Dark circles were under her eyes. “Couldn’t sleep last night,” she explained.
“Me neither.” I kicked a pebble with one blue Converse.
“He’s really gone, isn’t he?”
Without warning, tears leaked from my bloodshot eyes. “Yeah.”
Christina passed a quivering hand over her eyes. I hugged her, her trembling body shaking even harder now, warm tears soaking into my shirt. “I can’t believe he’s gone,” she cried over and over again. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
************************************************************************
That Monday was unbearable. Little pieces of Ray kept on sneaking their way into our day.
I found myself writing his name on my math homework instead of my own. And when I erased it, I accidentally did it again.
No one could bear to say why Ray’s seat was empty when the teacher took attendance.
I had never seen Ryan closer to tears than when we went down to the library for research, and two of his books were written by authors named Ray.
A sophomore was looking at a copy of the paper. “Look!” he said to his friends. “Some kid went missing!” He pointed to Ray’s picture. Mitch gave him a black eye that smoothly went under the radar of the principle (Mitch does his beatings after school).
We were all slowly being torn to shreds. But Cam was in a bad position as well. At least in the pack’s eyes.
************************************************************************
A cold electric wave passed over me as Cam squeezed my hand. Our bodies were tangled on the deck of my house. We had laid like this for hours, wasting away in the sunset’s absence.
“He doesn’t deserve this,” Cam said suddenly, breaking the silence.
What he meant was that Ray didn’t deserve my sympathy.
“He couldn’t accept you for who you are,” Cam elaborated. “He doesn’t deserve your sorrow.”
My eyes skimmed over his foreign face. For once, he didn’t fully understand.
He was the one misinterpreting.
Or maybe…I let my head sink into his chest as I realized something not for the first time.
Maybe I’m the one who couldn’t accept me.
♠ ♠ ♠
The aftermath of Chapter 16.Comments?