You Fight For All The Wrong Reasons

Through this doorway, what's on the other side?
Never knowing exactly what I'll find,
Locked and loaded, voices screaming
"Let's go," but I'm just doing what I'm told

I'll take a life that others may live
Oh, that's just the way it goes
I'll shut my eyes, it hammers in my head,
Where it'll end nobody knows

- Hammerhead by The Offspring

I pushed Mitch’s golden-brown curls away from his closed eyes. His lips were the faintest shade of blue, which parted to give way to the ventilator tube that snaked down his throat.

“Come on Mitch,” I said softly, more to myself than to Mitch. “Wake up.”

No answer, as expected.

The room, which would normally have been filled with a plethora of noises, was filled instead with the lulling hum of the ventilator and the steady beat of the heart monitor, the only two sounds that kept the silence at bay. This continued for who knows how long until the door creaked open, a startling and unfamiliar sound after a timeless period of white noise.

“Hi, Trey,” I greeted the Alpha as he slid through the doorway.

“Hey, Audrey,” he replied automatically, resting his eyes on Mitch. “Still nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Trey tried to bite back a pained expression that still managed to seep through even his bad eye. He looked at me. “I’m not going to screw up tonight,” he said, referring to the raid on Cam’s coven that would take place tonight. And from the look on his face, I knew he meant it.

“I know you won’t.”

“Yeah, well, the proof is in the pudding,” he said, his eyes drifting to the ventilator. He quickly turned his attention back to me. “You ready?”

“You betcha, coach,” I said, something that had always made him smile in the past. No smile this time.

“9:30 sharp. Usual spot. Do it for Mitch.”

“Trey, you know I would do it anyways.”

Trey bit his lip, and if there was ever a moment where I had seen him close to tears, this would have been it. But now wasn’t the time for him to break his exterior. “Yeah. I know.”

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I was now within the remote beauty of Cam’s yard as well as his gaze. I stared at my reflection in the pond, unable to meet Cam’s eyes.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” I heard him say softly. “Is something wrong?”

Unwillingly, I lifted my eyes up to his. Were they as beautiful as they had always been? I had to pretend that they were not. “No,” I lied.

No, nothing’s the matter. Your boyfriend might die tonight. Your best friend might die tonight. You might die tonight. Everything’s just fine.

I looked at Cam’s face and remembered Trey’s instead. If I had to be loyal to anyone tonight, Trey would be the one. Lives were on the line, and technically, Cam wasn’t even alive.

Suddenly, I was taken aback by the horrid thoughts that were running through my own head. I looked at how close my body was to Cam’s, but how far apart we really were.

Do it for Mitch.

************************************************************************

It was 9:45, and we were off.

Unlike past raids, I wasn’t trailing Mitch. This time, I was the center of the little trio Trey had assigned, with Ryan and Christina backing me up. And none of us were phased. We didn’t need to be for our assignment tonight.

Our plan was simple and ultimately destructive: we would get inside the Payne residence, block off all the exits, and burn the place down, destroying all the vampires inside. Ryan, Christina, and I had the most dangerous job: we got to light the fire.

Trey, ingenious as he was, had found a little secret entrance at the very bottom of the Payne’s house. It was an underground window that you had to dig down to get to. That’s where we had entered, and that’s where we were now.

The only sound that filled the dark, dank basement was our panting. I heard Trey’s voice echo in my head: Okay, the coast is clear. Everything is going well so far. No leeches in sight. You guys in?

Yes, indeed. I replied. Having a walkie-talkie built into your brain turns out to be very handy at times like these.

Good. Just hang tight. We’ll let you know when.

And we all knew what that meant. Our shining moment.

Ten minutes agonizing minutes passed by. I couldn’t believe that the Payne’s hadn’t found them out yet.

Better get it set up, I told Ryan, who nodded and uprighted the chlorine canister that we had dragged all the way from Mitch’s garage.

I knew all that chlorine gas would come in handy for something.

Alright, go!
We’re ready!
Light ‘er up!
Okay, were all set!

Ten voices of ten eager wolves all popped into our heads at once. As spokesperson for the trio, I replied, Okay! We’ve got the lighter… I watched nervously as Christina held down the button on the lighter. The flame lit up fearful face.

Careful, Chris… I heard Ryan say.

Go! We’re about to light! Run!

Christina stuck the tip of the lighter down the canister, and as soon as she was sure she had gotten it far enough in, she dropped it.

And we ran for our fucking lives.

“Go, go, go!!!” I heard Christina screaming as Ryan and I slid through the secret entrance and bounded outside.

I heard a bang and a woosh. That was all I needed to know that our plan had worked.

Christina was out of the house and we ran towards our designated meeting spot in the woods. I was still amazed that we had made it out alive. Not being in wolf form, I wasn’t sure how quickly our legs would be able to carry us, and if that would be enough. But apparently it was.

I heard Christina gasp and she grabbed both Ryan and me by the shoulder. “Look!”

The once gorgeous, elegant house had gone up in flames. Yellow and orange fiery tongues of flame shot up through the roof and licked at the shingles. They danced against the darkening clouds and hissed and laughed.

We stood there, awestruck. After a few minutes, Ryan said, “I hope they all got out okay,” reminding us of where we were running to.

“Oh my God,” I looked at their victorious expressions. “I can’t believe we actually pulled that off!”

Ryan laughed and pulled us into a group hug, and soon we were all laughing as we ran through the woods.

I could already see half of our pack standing there. This didn’t worry me because we had split up the pack (not counting me, Ryan, and Christina) into two parties.

“There they are!” I heard someone call. I turned my head and saw the rest of the pack sprinting toward us. I counted every single one of them, and then counted again just to make sure.

Miraculously, they were all alive.

There was lots of hugging and rejoicing. Shrieks of victory and joy filled the air. We had won. Tonight, we had come out on top.

Cam. How had I forgotten about him all this time?

The thought of him put a slight damper on our victory, but there was nothing I could do but wait.

Okay, we’ve got to make scarce. We can celebrate later, but right now, we’ve got to make a run for it. To Mitch’s house, everyone! Trey ordered.

There were a couple yips of agreement, and we all kept our heads down and ran as quietly as we could back in the direction of Mitch’s house. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Mitch’s face. He would be so happy.

I turned around and looked at the flaming house that was slowly fading into the distance. A figure was standing in the light of the flames.

I stopped and looked a little closer. I heart soared. It was Cam.

I took a quick glance at the pack. They weren’t watching. I could make this quick.

As I ran towards Cam, all of that victory I had felt beforehand started to morph into guilt. I had never seen him so hurt, so confused, and so lost.

We were a few yards away from each other when I slowed.

“Audrey?” he asked. And from the way that he said it, I knew that it was a question because he didn’t know me anymore.

“Oh, Cam,” I started to say, but he surprised me. He took me into his arms and held me close to him. And I did the same.

And I guess he did that because that’s really the only thing you can do in a moment of loss. You need someone to hold onto, someone to lean on, someone’s shoulder to cry on. And it doesn’t really matter who that person is, as long as they’re there.