Club Angel's Kiss

He held my hand as we walked forward in the quiet, chilly place. It was sad to see all this again, to see something that had once made my life dangerous and exciting.

It was hard to think back to when I was a normal person. It felt like so long ago, when it reality, two years could hardly be counted as long.

The icy air swept my hair around in a frenzy of black tendrils. My hair had grown in length since my last time at this place; it was well down to the middle of my back now.

Before I could pull my hair back in frustration, he already pushed it away from my face, love filling his eyes.

I smiled at him.

So, maybe I could remember when my life was normal, but just barely. It felt like it was just yesterday when I still had my parents at my side…before Adam was completely gone. I still awaken in the night sometimes, expecting to see my little brothers and sisters running about wildly. I still long to hear my mother's voice coming down the hallway, calling out for the babies to calm down and go back to sleep, or hear my father rushing out of the house from an emergency phone call to report to the hospital.

I still wish to have my phone ring and hear Adam’s voice miraculously on the other end.

That was long ago, however, when those noises were normal to my every day life. That was two years ago, when I was still known as the eldest daughter of Georgia and Angela Harless, when I was still called by my actual name, Amber Renee Harless. Since then, things have changed drastically for me, but I'll never forget where I came from.

Back then, I lived in a big house in Chicago, Illinois with my parents and siblings. My father was a wealthy neurosurgeon and my mother worked as a foster care worker. Because of my mom, many foster children were running around, coming and going, through the time that I grew up there and helped take care of all of them.

Those kids’ names and faces have long since left my mind’s eyes. I only have fond memories of my parents and my sole blood brother anymore, and even those get vague at times. It gets harder when I don’t remember anything anymore, but he says that it’s a side effect of what happened to me, of what tore me from the happy life I once had.

I glanced at him then, just when his eyes were shifting around the calm place.

Slowly, I took his hand tighter in mine and started walking to the place I remembered so well.

The little, private cemetery no longer made me sick, thankfully. I didn’t heave and gag just at the sight of the makeshift tombstones anymore.

He said he was happy about that; he had gotten tired of carrying me home, screaming and crying. And then the nightmares that followed that were even worse than the pictures that flooded into my mind when I entered through the small gates.

It was a pigment of what happened to me…

I remember that certain day very clearly…very clearly indeed.

A few months before it happened I turned twenty. Father immediately demanded that since I was legally a woman, I should get a job outside of the house as soon as possible. Even though he had oodles of money, he refused to give any to his own children. He wasted that on the foster kids. So, I applied for a position as a cashier at a small store down the street from Father’s hospital.

Mother said that I only had to wait until the foster care office got an opening, and then I could work for her officially, much against my father’s approval.

I tolerated working at the store. It wasn’t my first choice, that’s for sure, but I tried to please Father for as long as possible. I just didn’t know what kind of hell it would get me into.

Oh, I nearly cackled at the understatement that was.

I slowly bent in front of a nearby tombstone, one that I had carved the name into myself. My fingers went over the flowery designs that I had constructed when doing my dutifully work.

His hand clasped over my shoulder, rubbing it lovingly as a means to soothe my aching heart.

I repeatedly stroked the letters on it, spelling out the initials I had managed to push from my mind.

I was so caught up that I didn’t even realize when he spoke.

“It’s about to storm, love,” he whispered, his tone very low. But I could hear. No one else probably could, though.

I heard a roll of thunder echo from the direction of the city. I stood, slowly, tears in my normally dry, dark eyes.

He noticed my change in mood and slipped his arms around me. I hugged him back, my head sagging onto his chest in absolute agony.

This is my story. This is what happened to my life. This is how I ended up at Club Angel’s Kiss. This is something that no one would ever think happened if it wasn’t in my writing right here…