Waverly Hills

The smell of mashed potatoes, green peas and chicken filled my nostrils when the three of us entered the cafeteria.
Some patients were already sitting down at the circular tables all around the room eating their food.
Others were at the line holding a tray, waiting for their food.
James walked me and Annie over to the line to get our food with him.
But, actually I was the one pulling them over to the line, as starving as I was and my stomach growling loudly.
I tried to grab a tray for myself, but couldn’t because James was still holding my hand, even when I had let go of Annie’s.
I looked at him, and he saw the trouble I had, and so quickly let go.
I smiled, grabbed my tray, and got my food.
When all of us had gotten everything, we sat down at an empty table in the middle of the other tables.
I had already starting eating my food by the time James and Annie sat down.
James laughed at how I gobbled down all my food, like I was a wild beast.
I looked at him strangely, wondering what he was laughing about.
But, he stopped, so I kept on eating.
After a few minutes when I still had a few pieces of chicken and mashed potatoes left, my stomach was full, and so I sat there watching James and Annie take their time as they eat.
I looked all around me at the other patients. And, it seemed weird to me that instead of everyone being so glum and melancholy, which is what I had thought of everyone to be when I had imagined it at home, everyone was in fact…happy.
Some people were laughing at a joke the other person said.
A few couples would hold each other’s hands as they talked to one another.
A few people coughed in a napkin because a result of blood from the disease, as I had, but other than that, everyone seemed joyful.
I looked at James, and he looked happy too.
Of course, you couldn’t really tell with him eating, but while he was eating, I saw the calmness and the prosperity of him being here, with these people who were in a way just like him.
And, just like me, I then thought.
“Are you all right?” James asked, startling me.
Annie and James had finished their food, and James had saw the look of curiosity on my face.
“Yeah.” I replied. I then said, “James?”
He looked at me. “Yeah?” he replied.
“Why is everyone so…happy?” I blurted out, wishing I could just hit myself because of how stupid I sounded.
James looked at me in puzzlement. “What?”
“I mean…” I didn’t know how to say it. “I had always thought that everyone here would feel…sad about being here. I mean, with the knowledge that you might die here, it would make me sad.” I finally got out the words, hoping it was better.
“Well, you see,” James tried to explain. “it would seem that way. But really, this place…it’s just a sanctuary to everyone. A place where they can feel equal with everyone around them. A place of hope, that maybe this isn’t the last place you will see in your life.”
I nodded, feeling guilty that I had even thought that people would be sad, since James had put it that way.
When he saw my expression, he said, “I felt the same way.”
I looked up at him. “I thought at first that this place would just be sadness, and….death. But, even if this is the last place I will see, at least I have the comfort of being here, with everyone.”
I smiled. “You are right.” I said. “This is a place of hope.”

That night, when it was about 8:30, almost the lights out time, I went in my room, and shut the door.
I knew that I needed a shower, and planned on taking one.
So, when I felt secure that I was in privacy, I first took off my gown, then my underclothing, leaving me bare naked in the cold bathroom.
I then turned the knobs so that the water came pouring down into the bath tub.
I got inside, and almost screamed.
“Dammit!” I exclaimed instead.
The water was ice cold, adding more goose bumps on my body.
It took me a long while to get used to the water, but I finally did.
I then used my soap and shampoo I had brought from home and lathered it on my body and hair, making me smell much better than I had before.
When I was done, I quickly put back on my clothes, shivering tremendously.
I ringed out my hair from atop of the faucet, and then let my hair hang loose from my head, making my scalp feel clean and healthy.
I opened the doors and laid on my bed, feeling tired and comfortable.
I turned towards James who was reading his book again.
“You know what?” I said as he turned towards me. “I am glad I met you. You and Annie.”
He smiled. “Me too.”
And then, we both had that moment.
He looked into my eyes, and I looked in his.
His dark brown eyes almost put me in a trance.
But, of course he turned away and continued to read.
I laid back down in my bed, blushing slightly, hoping he didn’t notice.
“Lights out!” yelled one of the nurses, and everyone turned off their lamps.
James turned off his and then laid down in his bed, as did I.
“Goodnight Mary.” James said quietly, but I heard him.
I smiled. “Goodnight James.”
Then, “Goodnight Annie.”
Annie just grumbled, apparently halfway into slumber.
I just smiled amusingly, and fell asleep.

She screamed in the four cornered room, where she cowered in a corner.
“Help!” she screamed. “I have no eyes!”
She covered her eyes with her palms, as if hiding her eyeless sockets.
Her long hair stuck onto her forehead that was covered in sweat.
She kept on screaming “I have no eyes” over and over again, until finally a young nurse, who you could tell on her face was panicking in concern, ran up to the girl and knelt down beside her, telling her to calm down, it will be all right.
But the girl forcefully pushed her away.
The nurse ran out of the room for help, as the girl just kept on screaming.
Then, as she was screaming about her eyes, she blurted out, “JAMES!”

I jerked up from my bed, awakening from my nightmare.
I looked around me, seeing that everyone was still asleep, and it was still dark.
Annie was covered deep in her sheets, breathing heavily.
I turned towards James as he slept sound….James. The dream.
She screamed “James”. I remembered it all clearly now.
Was she talking about this James? James Anderson? Her James?
She suddenly wondered why she thought about that and quickly put it out of her mind.
I looked at the clock on the wall, and saw how it was 1 o’clock in the morning.
I tried to lay back in my bed, and sleep. But, I just couldn’t rest anymore.
So, not knowing what to do, I got out of my bed, and walked to the stairs in the hallway.
I walked down the stairs to the second floor.
The second floor was almost identical to the third floor.
So, I went into the hallway where the beds were, and just walked down the hallway looking at the people laying in the beds.
I almost cried out, because in the beds, I saw a few adults, but also children.
I couldn’t grasp at how I was seeing children laying in those beds, infected as I was by tuberculosis.
To me, it was like seeing Bobby laying in one of those beds, and thinking of that, I felt a tear go down my cheek.
I knew that tuberculosis happened to everyone, but it just disturbed me to see them there, thinking that they might die too.
I suddenly gasped in pain at the thought of that.
I knew that I was too loud, and so tried to quiet it down, but while I did, I almost yelled when a hand went over my mouth to shut me up.
I turned around quickly to see James behind me, putting a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet.
I nodded and he led me up back to the third floor.
When we got to our beds, I covered my face in my pillow and cried.
“What do you think you were doing?” James asked rather angrily.
“I don’t know.” I replied, still crying. “I just couldn’t help myself. Seeing those children…that they…” But I couldn’t say and so kept on crying.
James sat next to me on my bed and put his hand over my shoulder.
I took my face and covered it in his chest.
Seeing he didn’t care, I knelt onto him.
“It’s okay.” James said reassuringly.
“Those kids,” I said to him. “they were 8, 7, maybe younger. How could they get infected?”
“Everyone can get infected.” James said, and I knew he was right.
“I know.” I replied.
James then grabbed my chin so that our eyes met.
“All of us, even those children, will get through this. Don’t worry.”
He said calmly.
I nodded as we kept on sitting there together.
And I didn’t want to move either, because laying on James, and him holding me tight, I felt an emotion I didn’t want to let go.
I felt safe.