Whats Under the Bed?

Walking through the door I called “I’m home” loudly but softly as to not disrupt whatever it was that she was doing, and headed toward the stairs ready to take them two at a time to take a nice hot bath and then cuddle up with a good book or my laptop so that I can forget all about the events of today and pray that I never see that hot- . . . I mean that vampire.

“Come in here please” came that sickly calm voice from that dreary place. You’re probably wondering what could someone’s grandmother do to make them afraid of her; not bake any more cookies? Well if that’s what you think then I can see that I’m going to have to educate you.

They can buy cigarettes even though they don’t smoke just to burn you by way of disciplinary punishment. They can think that throwing glass on you is a sign of affection. Of course mine also does this stuff when sheds bored. If you don’t have to go through all that then I am very happy for you and I pray that you never have to. . . But if you do . . . if you receive abuse from anyone, not just a grandmother. . . Then I may understand you more than I do any one else

So with a great sigh I put my things at the bottom of the stair case and walked as slowly as I could to that door where I could hear some soft classical music coming from the crack.

I pushed the door softly, hesitantly, and walked in standing behind one of the chairs that sat facing her desk. The room was not big but it was not exactly small either. There was a small bookcase behind where me grandmother sat behind her desk still not looking up from where she was writing something, over flowing with books but none that really looked interesting. A small square window sat up high behind it half covered by the bookcase; it was so high that I can’t even look out of it, only see the light that shown from it, and sometimes, when she called me in here at night, the stars. Her office décor was a dark warm brown, kind of like maple. Her study could be my favorite room if it wasn’t basically homemade torture chamber.

“Sit down” she order still not looking up from her work while I looked down at the chair in front of me uncertainly. Suddenly she slammed down her pen and her head shot up, glaring at me “My God Bianca do as you’re told for once and sit. Down.”
Gulping I pulled out the chair and sat down slowly. Kind of like when there’s a rabid animal or a poisonous snake in front of you and you don’t want to make any sudden movements. As I sat down I glanced down at her desk to see a lit cigarette hanging over one side of an ash tray. I quickly adverted my gaze to looking down at my shoes, quivering inside for I knew what was to come if I said one wrong thing or set one toe over the line.

“Dr. Hennison called me today with some interesting news” she said slowly and calmly as if I were deaf or just too stupid to under stand her. I bet you anything that she thinks it’s the second one. “She told me how you’ve been lying to me and her about your little. . . . Problem” she said the same way sneering at the last word.

“She’s not supposed to tell you about anything in our sessions” I said quietly only to cry out in pain for she had burned me with the cigarette.

“What,” she asked hatefully putting the cigarette down “You didn’t want her to tell me about your lies? How long Bianca?”

“I haven’t been lying too you” I lied rubbing the hand that she had burnt

“Would you like another burn? Or perhaps some more scars? Some Bruises maybe?” she asked fiddling with her glasses that hung around her neck

“No mam” I sneered back venomously

“What was that” she asked quizzically though I knew she had herd

“No mam” I repeated this time louder and more respectfully

“Good” she said curtly” Now . . . how long?”

“Not long only a few days” I said lying once again. But I hardly feel bad about doing it, because I have to do it so much already. Plus, she’s a bitch.

She just looked at me for a while and then she nodded slowly “very well” she said going back to her writing. After a few seconds of me just sitting there not knowing what to do she said “you may leave now” I got up slowly and started for the door before I heard ”oh and Bianca?” making me turn slowly to face her” when you came in you said’ I’m home’ Ill let it slip this time but I’ve told you on more than one occasion that this is not your home this is my home where I’m letting you stay for the time being. You’d do well to remember that. . . . You may leave” she said all this without looking up

Sighing I walked slowly the rest of the way to the door pausing only for a second before wrenching the door back and running to the stairs. Grabbing my things I ran upstairs and dropped my things on the bed. I grabbed some clean clothes and my toiletries bag and went into the bathroom for that bath that I had wanted earlier

I turned the water on in the sink as cold as it could go and put my hand under the water letting it ease some of the sting in my hand. Looking up at myself in the mirror I saw nothing but a sad broken little naive girl who really knew nothing. Watching the tears well up in my eyes I turned the water off and started the shower water and turned it up as hot as it could go. Dropping my clothes I got in letting the water burn me for a second or two and then get used to it.

The cool thing about my bath tub is that it has these seats in it. Sitting down on one of them I let the tears that I had tried to keep in for years pour out of me enjoying the felling of weight being lifted. After my sob fest I stood up and washed my self, scrubbing until the skin felt raw. Even when I was through I stayed in there until the water ran cold.

Getting out I dressed in baby blue pajama shorts and a white tank top. I blow dried my hair and then pulled it back into a sloppy bun. Then grabbed my dirty stuff off of the floor and put them in my hamper behind the door.

Sighing I walked out into the hall way where it was less stuffy only to hear my grandmother call my name

“Bianca?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be stepping out for a little while, if you leave the house be sure to lock the door and leave a note telling me where your going. I don’t know when I’ll be back but I probably won’t get back until late. If I’m not ill call to make sure you’re here by your curfew. . . . You better be here” she warned and then I heard the door open and close and then her car starting.

I waited until I could hear the car driving away to let myself feel any kind of relief or to move.

I walked tiredly to my room still planning to get a book or my laptop but now going to sleep sounded like a good idea to(its amazing how crying can make you so tiered).

I opened my door and walked in to the place I considered as my haven. Closing the door I leaned my forehead onto the cool wood breathing in the sent if it.

“Nice shorts” said a voice from behind me with a smile clearly apparent in its voice. It was so wrong how I was already so familiar with that voice, the sound of that smile, the way his voice sounded so sultry with that amazing accent. I hated it.

“Oh no” I moaned no hitting my forehead against the door making him laugh

“Oh come on” he said still laughing “you know you missed me”

And just like that I was more pissed than I ever remember being and I’m not even sure why! I just know that I was and I was going to act on it let it lead me where ever it wanted to and I was going to have fun doing it too. . .