Round Here

"Father, where are you today? You took a piece of me the day you went away. No recollection or the sound of your guitar. I lost all of you the day you went afar." I sung to myself quietly sitting against the hotel's hallway wall. I looked up seeing Johnny walk out of the room with what looked like a big valentine. I laughed at his goofy grin as he taped it on the wall over a boxing glove that would pop out whenever he pulled the lever in the other room.

"Who's first?" He asked me.

"Bam, then he can persuade other people to read it." I said after much consideration.

"Alright I'm gonna go get him. Do you wanna come with?"

"Naw, I think I'll stay here." I told him smiling. He bent down and kissed me softly.

"Okay, I'll be back in 5-10 minutes." He walked off down the hallway. I hit my head against the wall. 15 years ago today was the day my life took a spiraling turn. No one knew about it except Josh, but he knows everything about me. Today was the day my dad left. The day my mom left too. They both left in special ways that stays burned in my memory. You would think I would get over it and stop crying every year, but I never did.

"What is it?" I heard Bam ask a camera man. Bam was nowhere in sight, but Johnny was sneaking into the room with the boxing glove and lever. A smirk played on my face as I saw them walking down the hallway. Bam looked at the heart on the wall and back at the camera man.

"These chicks left this love letter for us. Read it out loud to the camera." The guy told Bam. As Bam started reading it I had to bite the inside of my cheek to suppress my laughing. Bam got to the small text on the card when he got punched in the face by the boxing glove on the other side of the wall. Johnny came out from the room to see Bam's laughing expression.

That is what we did for most of the morning. We had Bam find everyone and tell them it was a love note to them. Once they got down to the smaller text Johnny would pull the lever in the room and it would hit them in the face. Bam sold it so good. The last person to get punched in the face was Wee-Man. By that time Bam was laughing the entire time he was reading it; everyone was.

They all decided to go somewhere to film something else. Johnny stood in front of my and offered me a hand to help me up. He asked if I would come, but I had to decline. It wasn't that I was necessarily afraid he would get hurt again, or maybe it was and I didn't want to see him get hurt today. I never wanted to see him in pain, but I mean this is his career so I have to live with it. He walked me back to our room before he left with the guy. I sat on the bed once inside.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned. I wanted to tell him everything, but I didn't want to ruin his day.

"Yeah I'm fine, just feeling a little sick ya know?" He nodded his head, and came over to the bed. He kissed the side of my head, and hugged me.

"I'll be back later this afternoon." I nodded my head.
"I love you."

"I love you too."

He left the room, and I collapsed on the bed. I grabbed a pillow and put it over my head. I felt like screaming into it, but I didn't need police at the door or something. I removed the pillow from my head and changed into my pajamas. Yes it was only 1pm, but I can do whatever I want. I also ordered a cheese pizza for lunch. I sat on the bed flipping through channels. The room's phone started ringing so I went and picked it up.

"Hello."

"Hey Margaret, don't be-"

"Hello Josh." I said stopping him from singing.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, coping like every year."

"I wish I was there to go get ice cream with you and watch a movie."

"Well I'm watching a movie." I laughed into the phone.

"Ooo what movie?"

"Stand by me."

"Best movie ever, I have good news."

"What would that be?"

"It's been almost a month, and your dog is still alive."

"He better be alive."

"The bad news is I ate all your food."

"Well that was expected." There was a knock at my door and I knew it was the pizza guy. I told Josh to hold on a second. I grabbed the money off the table and opened the door. A tall lanky guy stood there holding a pizza box. I gave him the money and his tip. He thanked me and walked away. I shut the door, put the pizza on the bed, and picked the phone up.
"I'm back."

"Where'd you go?"

"The pizza guy was here so I got my pizza." I heard a chuckle on the other end. Josh and I talked for hours. We usually talked in person, but that's hard when you're on the other side of the country. He made me feel better. I laid on the bed, the pizza was now on the table, and I was under the blankets. I was falling asleep and couldn't hear when the door opened.

"You know Josh, I miss her so much."

"I know."

"I'm always afraid that what happened to her is going to happen to me."

"You know that isn't true. You control your life."

"I know but sometimes I think it is inevitable. You turn out like your parents."

"You won't. You're happy with your life right? You found the perfect person. You two have been together for years and now you two are getting married."

"I don't want to die."

"You won't so stop worrying about it."

"Thanks Josh. I wish you were here though."

"Anytime doll."

"I'm tired so I think I'm going to go. Bye." I hung up the phone and rolled over. I saw Johnny leaned against the wall. How much had he heard?
"Hey."

"What were you talking to Josh about?"

"Just…nothing." I told him. He came to the bed and sat down. I saw a slight shade of hurt in his eyes.

"Tell me please. You can tell me anything." I took a deep breath in and scooted closer to him.

"You ever wonder why you have never met my parents. I mean I've met yours a few times."

"I never really thought about it."

"Well…you can't really meet them." He looked confused so I continued on.
"My mother and father weren't the perfect couple. Everyone could tell, but it seemed like they tried to stay together for my sake. I really wish they hadn't though. I don’t think my dad loved my mom, but she sure did love him.

One day my mother and I went out shopping. I was about 15 at the time. When we came home my dad was fucking some girl at his work on the couch. My mom was furious and hurt. I think she was mostly hurt though 'cause she didn't want him to leave, but he left. He left her while she was on the ground begging for him to stay. She was crying and begging. I still remember listening to her cries from the top of the stairs. I was afraid he was going to hit her, but instead he slammed the door in her face, and never came back.

She was hollow for a week. I went to school and she would still be sleeping. She used to be happy and full of color. I should have thought something of it, but I was 15 and didn't think anything bad would happen. It had to be exactly a week when my mother came into my room. She gave me a ring my father had bought her. She told me she couldn't look at it or even stand owning it. She then told me she was taking a bath, and not to disturb her until she was done. I listened to her, I respected her. She never came out of her room. The next morning I was ready for school. I went into her room to tell her I was okay and leaving. She always wanted me to do that, she was always afraid that I would get kidnapped or something.

I walked into her room and she wasn't in her bed. He bed wasn't even messy as if she had slept at all. I walked into the bathroom that conjoined into her room. I still wish I hadn't though. She was in her bathtub, and she was dead. The fact that the water was a crimson red didn't even register in my head until later. I ran to her side, and she was stiff. The water was freezing cold, and she looked like she was turning blue. I cried and didn't go to school that day. I called 911. I prayed that there was still time to save her, but deep down I knew that she was dead and there was nothing I could do about it."

I finished with tears streaming down my eyes. I had to have cried my body weight, and Johnny just sat there holding me tight. He held me for the rest of the day, and all night.