Be All Mine

“Mikey! If you don't let me see it I can't help you,” I said, as Mikey continued to hold his hand over his knee and cry. He had been playing outside on the patio where I could see him and all of a sudden I saw him fall and heard the worst scream he could have possibly ever given.

I finally got him to let go of his knee, blood all over it and I nearly screamed myself. This wasn't a cut I could fix with a band aid and a kiss. This needed stitches and fast.

“Alright, alright,” I said, trying to calm him down by picking him up and wrapping a towel around his knee. I grabbed the cell phone and car keys from the counter and followed out the garage door.

I was about to cry, I could feel it. I didn't like seeing my little boy in such horrendous pain, especially when I couldn't do anything to help it. All I could do was call Mark and hope he'll talk to Mikey while I drove to the emergency room.

“Mark! Mark please talk to Mikey,” I said, panic overruling any other emotion in my voice.
“What happened? What's going on?” he asked, his voice sounding just as concerned as my own.

I raced down the main road and could spot the hospital from four miles away. “I don't know!” I cried. “He was just playing outside one moment, and the next he was crying and there was blood all over his knee. I am taking him to St. Mary's hospital. Just please talk to him so he calms down.”

“Alright, calm down Audrey,” Mark said, adding, “You're doing the best you can. Give him the phone.”

I handed the cell to Mikey who took it and cried still as he talked to his father. My whole body shook and I wondered if I could stand there and watch them stitch up my son. It wasn't going to be the kind of stitches where they inject Novocaine, I knew that much. So that meant they would just go on and do it and Mikey would be traumatized for awhile. I need Matt right now, I thought to myself as Mikey retold what happened to Mark.

Once I was parked in the hospital's parking lot, I grabbed Mikey and let him keep talking to his dad as I ran towards the ER, tears rolling down my face. A nurse met me and looked at Mikey's bleeding knee as I panicked and told her to look at it now.

“How old is he?” she asked, as a pediatrician came in to look at the wound as well.

“Four,” I answered, as I held Mikey's right hand and took the phone from him when he handed it back to me. “Mark?”

“I'm there,” he said, as I saw him walk in through the ER doors, hair disheveled and shirt a mess. He closed his phone and told the nurse he did have the right to be there; he's the father.

I nodded and received an odd look from the nurse as she walked away. Bitch, I thought, as I knelt beside Mikey and kissed his forehead.

“It's okay buddy,” Mark said, picking Mikey up and holding him on his lap as the doctor took his temperature and heart rate. “You'll be okay. The doctor has to put you back together at your knee. You split it pretty bad, kiddo. Shh...It's okay. You're fine.”

My stomach turned and I realized that it wasn't from the problem at hand; I was pregnant. I had to throw up now. “Where's the bathroom?” I panicked.

The nurse recognized the little bump I had going and took my arm, bringing me down the hall as she opened the bathroom door and stall. I bent over the bowel as she held my hair and I threw up whatever content was inside of my upset stomach. Best day ever, I thought to myself, as I flushed the toilet and got up to go to the sink and wash my mouth with water. The nurse handed me some mouth wash and I thanked her for her patience.

“No problem,” she said warmly. “Not like this is the worst I've seen.”

I smiled and gargled the mouth wash, spat it out, then hurried behind her to Mikey and Mark...and Matt?

“What are you doing here?” I asked, suspicion in my voice and almost a slight fear that he may just be stalking me.

“I was going to call you today, remember?” he said, as I took Mark's seat and held Mikey close. “I called your house and was worried when you didn't answer. So I called Mark and he said you guys were at the hospital; that Mikey had had a spill. That okay? I'll leave if you want.”

I shook my head and glared at Mark as he got up and swung his car keys around his finger. “Where are you going?” I snapped, as the nurse cleaned up the gash as best she could before the doctor would put iodine on it and start to sew it up.

“I have to hurry back to work,” he replied. “I was in the middle of the album discussion.”
“To hell you were!” I said. “You're son is getting stitches and you're worried about a fucking album? Aren't you mature.”

“Audrey,” he said, “You're acting like a child.”

“Takes one to know one, right?” I yelled, as Matt held Mikey's outstretched hand and talked to him about going to the park sometime. It seemed to calm him down and I glared at Mark as he shook his head and headed towards the ER doors. “Yeah, walk away Mark,” I snapped, becoming tense as the doctor came back with the needle.

“It's gonna hurt Mikey,” Matt started. “I'm not gonna lie. So just squeeze my hand, okay?”

I watched Mikey nod and grab Matt's hand with both of his own as I rested my head on his and held him by his waist. The doctor sterilized it and then slipped his hands around the needle carefully, making sure to do it right so as to make it as quick and painless as it could possibly get.

Mikey's screams forced me to cry harder and I kept saying, “It's okay, baby. It's alright. Don't cry...Mommy's here.”

He wouldn't stop crying and screaming, which didn't help end my own pain of watching my son go through something horrific and not being able to calm him. I hugged him close and felt his whole body shake each time the needle went in and wind itself around the skin. Matt's other arm rested on my back and he kept looking at me and saying, “You're okay, Audrey. It's only a small little bit of stitches.”

“All finished,” the doctor said as he made a not in the thread. He got a roll of bandages and coiled it around Mikey's knee before handing him a large bag of candy and some stickers. “He'll have to not partake in sporty things or even from walking by himself for at least a week.”

“But he's four years old!” Matt laughed sarcastically and slightly angry. “That's like asking a bird not to fly!”

The doctor shrugged and said, “Well in order for it to heal right he'll have to abstain from it. The nurse will get your information in a minute.”

I watched Matt shake his head and take a seat in the chair three feet away from the bed as I rocked the whimpering Mikey back and forth, occasional sniffles coming through as he dug his head into my breast bone and held tightly onto my sweatshirt. He was shaking and sweating as I still sobbed and tried to calm down.

“Thanks,” I mumbled to Matt against Mikey's head.

“For what?” he asked.

“For helping Mikey,” I answered, not looking at him but imagining him smiling like he always did. “Mark's an ass when it comes to this type of stuff; always away when Mikey's in dire need of him.”

“Well it was no problem,” he said, shifting and standing up. He sat on the end of the bed and brushed Mikey's hair with his finger tips. I really was jealous of Mikey for that moment of Matt's touching his soft head of hair. I wanted to feel his hand against my head, brushing my long hair back and putting it behind my ears.

“You're a good friend,” I complimented. “I don't deny that.”

He chuckled and said, “And you are too. I wouldn't have you any other way, and I just met you three days ago.”

I forced a smile and kissed Mikey's forehead as a nurse called me over to the ER desk. I looked at Mikey and then back at the nurse.

“I got him, Audrey,” Matt said, taking Mikey and letting him nestle into his own chest as he clutched Matt's shirt. Mikey closed his eyes and let Matt kiss his forehead as I got up and off of the bed, following the nurse to the desk in order to fill out the paper work and information.

Every time I looked over at Matt holding Mikey like a little newborn baby I felt my heart skip. I liked the way the two looked; Mikey like an angel, and Matt like a glorified guardian angel. They were almost like a painting depicting serenity and peace in a hostile world. I wanted to snap a picture of it and keep it in my pocket everywhere I went.

“Thank you,” said the smiling nurse behind the desk.

I just gave a small nod and went to grab Mikey, but Matt and him looked too perfect to disrupt. Lightly brushing his forehead, I looked at Matt and asked, “Did you walk here?”
He nodded and looked back at Mikey. “I'll hold him if you'd like.”

Matt followed after me to the car, the outside world not bothering my son as he continued to sleep and dream, hopefully, about good things. Things other than needles and thread and red liquid coming out of his knee.

The two got in the back as I held the door open, Matt taking a seat carefully without disturbing Mikey. I hopped into the front and gently shut my door. Even the softness of the engine rumbling made me uneasy as I thought about Mikey waking up and crying for me.

As soon as I pulled into our garage and Matt followed me inside to Mikey's bedroom, he woke up and then reached for me as I took him from Matt.

“I'll call cab if you'd like,” I said, holding Mikey on my hip and getting him a spill-free cup of milk from the refrigerator.

“I'd like to stay, if that's okay with you,” he said gently, pouring the milk into the cup for me as I smiled and gave it to Mikey.

“That's fine with me,” I said, kissing Mikey's cheek as I shuffled around the island counter to grab the phone. “I thought you had a party though? You sure you wanna miss it?”

He blushed and smiled innocently. “I never had a party to go to. I was going to call you and pick you up so I could take you and Mikey to the ocean. A surprise, I guess. But I found out about this and I figured salt water wasn't the best idea.”

I laughed and settled onto my large L-shaped sofa as Matt copied, taking a seat right next to me. “I heard salt in wounds hurt a lot,” I joked, turning on the television so Mikey could watch his afternoon children's shows. “But thank you for the idea. Maybe some other time.”

Matt smiled and added, “When the bandages are off. I doubt you can get them wet.”

Rolling my eyes I giggled and said, “God...He's four and he's told he can't walk around for a week. What kind of world would that make sense in?”

“A world where they fly?” he asked jokingly as Mikey giggled at the TV and sipped his milk.

While I laughed at the joke the phone began to ring and I answered it in front of Matt who talked to Mikey in a funny high pitched voice and made him laugh.

“Honey?” asked my dad wonderingly.

“Hi dad,” I said excitedly. I hadn't talked to my father since Mikey's birthday because he was always so busy. “How are you, Dad?”

“I'm doing fine,” he replied. “What about you? I got a phone call from Mark that Mikey was in the ER. What happened? Is he okay? Do I need to pay for anything? Will he be alright?”

“Slow down, dad,” I laughed. “He's alright. He had to get ten stitches in his knee and now he's with me and my friend Matt watching some TV. Would you like to talk to him?”

“That's alright, honey,” he answered. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You're mother's about to tear my ear off, though; she wants to talk to you about something. Hold on.”

I listened to her pretend to yell at him and the shuffling of the phone before my mother's sweet voice answered, “Hello?”

“Hi mom,” I said. “What is it you wanted?”

Mikey and Matt continued to play and talk about the show they were watching, more Matt asking him silly questions and Mikey laughing at him.

“So Mikey's okay? Nothing real bad?” she wondered.

“Yeah, he's okay. Playing with Matt.”

“Matt, huh?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “I'm pregnant, mom. I'm not looking for that type of game just yet. Now what else were you wondering?”

She got all excited as she replied, “Oh, Audrey! It's so wonderful! Your sister's pregnant! She's due around the time you are! Won't that be wonderful!?”

Rolling my eyes once more I said, “You bet. Who doesn't love knowing their sister baked up a loaf at the same time you did. I thought they couldn't have one?”

“She found out yesterday after going to the doctor for a physical for work. She thought so, too, but the doctor said that she must have had a flimsy pregnancy test. This is so wonderful! I got to go, honey, but I will call you soon, okay? Love you!”

“Alright, ma,” I said. “Talk to you later. Love you, too. Bye.”

Hanging up the phone, I let out a loud sigh and smiled as Matt smiled back.

“What?” he asked.

“Parents,” I answered as he nodded. “My sister-who lives in France and is miss perfect-is having a baby as well and due around the time I am. Just wonderful, right?”

“When are you due?” he wondered.

I made a squinting face as I tried to think. “Uh...Well I've got to be about a month and a half by now, so let's see...it's May...” I tried to count on my fingers and finally answered, “Around February, I guess.”

He picked up Mikey and held him in the air above him as Mikey asked him to, and I giggled. “You think you can take another one of these monsters?” he joked.

“I'm a woman who deals with rock stars and their stupidity,” I said. “I can do anything.”
“So you'll go get dinner with me tomorrow?” he wondered, as I stared at him with a blank expression.

“Y-yeah,” I answered. “Definitely. I'll drop Mikey off at my neighbor's and, yeah...I think I can handle that, right?”

He shrugged. “We'll find out.”