Slip Into The Tragedy.

“Frank?” I asked, disbelief clouding my features.

He merely just looked at me in recognition and walked into the front of the class, to where the teacher’s desk was.Mrs. Bass Renee beamed at him as he gave him the slip from administration office. Gerard beside me looked at him in a sort of mystified trance, unable to believe what is in front of his eyes.

“Ok class, let’s begin” Renee called out, and all the students sat in their usual seats. Frank looked around for a little while then settled down two seats from mine, directly in front of Gerard.

“Today we’re gonna start this new school year with something interesting and fun that all of you like, which is undoubtedly drawing portraits.” She had stated, but the whole class was already talking quite loudly, probably picking their partners, the ones who had the easiest face. I leaned back against my chair, completely and utterly not concerned with the whole partner thing.

Ever since I took advances art class in middle school, my teachers always had said that my face is very complex and unbelievably hard to draw, Renee was no different. When I first entered the advanced art class at the beginning of last year, we started on portraits. Renee was raving of how she’d want to see some of her best students try to draw my face, but they all couldn’t. Something about getting the proportions not right, or failing to notice that my left eye is slightly smaller than my right, or just merely couldn’t get the exact shade of my eyes. All of them couldn’t, except Gerard. Of course Gerard is my familiy, who known me since birth, who watched as I grow in front of his eyes. A laughing Renee once told the class that he only succeeded on drawing me because he was my flesh and blood, but then added ‘but his talent makes up for 99% of it anyway!’

“Wait! Wait!” Renee yelled from the front of the class. “I do have a favor to ask”

Everyone of us looked at her impatiently, wanting to choose our partners and start drawing.

“Could Frank be partnered with Alex, please?” She asked sweetly, her gaze flickering to mine maliciously.

I gaped at her and glared mockingly at her as I stood up and push a random desk next to Frank’s. He didn’t even look up from his doodles. When I was close enough to see what exactly is he doing, my eyes felt like they popped out of their sockets. He was drawing a detailed drawing of my guitar, complete with the ebony finish and the jet black body.

“So, uh, you’re my partner, right?” I asked awkwardly

“Yeah, I guess.” Frank said without taking his eyes of his paper, thickening some of the outlines.

Something in his tone made me recoil for a bit, my eyes narrowed as I do so.

Was there anger in his tone?

What the fuck? Anger? Why the hell does he need to be angry to me? I should be furious to him! My whole body is still badly hurt because of him, some bruises were still peeking out from my medium length sleeves and from my neck (I saw him gave a tiny wince when he saw them). I didn’t get the fact of why was he the one that is mad?! It’s ridiculous and he’s totally just fucking with my temper with his obnoxiously arrogant tone.

“No need to get hostile” I snapped, turning away from him childishly.

“Well, no need to snap” He retorted, finally tearing his eyes away from his doodles and glared full-force to me.

“So quit being so fucking obnoxiously arrogant, asshole.” I said menacingly

“You’re the one to talk, slut” He whispered, full of hatred.

“Now, now stop with the language!” Renee said, suddenly appearing next to our table. Her face disapproving. “Start drawing!”

We both huffed and took out our sketch books, mine was half full and his was totally new. I snorted at his empty sketch book and he glared at me again, trying to stare me down. I stared back shamelessly at him, a scowl playing on my lips, until again Renee stopped us from ripping each other’s throats out with an exasperated tone. Telling us to ‘please start drawing’

I picked up my pencil grumpily and took a glance at Frank, who was also in the same position across from me. I first drew the shape of his face, which was proven hard because he was looking down the whole time. But then I just drew out of memory, picturing his smiling face. After minutes filled with awkward silence, Renee called out ‘only 10 minutes left’

“Look at me” I heard him demand harshly to me. Startled, I looked up at him automatically, my eyes narrowed in confusion. I saw his hazel-green eyes bore into mine, staring into mine so deeply that I couldn’t even blink, I had to stare helplessly back. We stared at eachother for a few minutes and then he dropped his eyes back to his paper, continuing hastily with his drawing. I blinked in confusion.

What had just happened?

Hmm, what do you mean?

I mean with the whole ‘look at me thing’

Oh that, he was trying to sketch your eyes, genius.

Eyes? They’re eyes for god’s sake! They’re almost the same with any other eyes there is!

You know that’s not true, Lex

I stopped thinking to myself after that, my own conscious was winning the arguments in my head. That’s not even fair. I finished up the last of the sketch and blew the eraser dust off it, then handed it to Renee.

“Amazing job, as always Alex” She grinned at me, surveying my sketch. “It looks exactly like him.”

“Thanks” I said and grinned at her.

“Let me see yours Frank” She said to him, her hand stretched out to grab his sketchbook.

“Uhhh” Frank began stupidly “I don’t think it’s finished yet”

“That’s ok” Renee said, smiling her motherly smile. “It’s only me and Alex, the whole class wouldn’t see”

Frank reluctantly gave her his sketchbook and looked down to his shoes.

Renee ran her long slender fingers over the pages and flipped through them, giving every sketch a glance until her eyes met his latest sketch. She smiled down at it.

“I knew you could do it, Frank” She said to him, beaming. “This sketch is absolutely perfect”

I blinked slowly to digest her compliment, and then leaned forward to see what he made me look like.

I gasped.

The girl in the page smiled up at me, her exquisite face in a laughing smile that reached her eyes. She had high cheekbones and full lips that was curved up at the sides and opened, showing a row of straight teeth. Her long straight brown hair framed her face carelessly and flowed uninterrupted to her mid-back as she looked over her shoulder when she smiled. Her long and slender neck made the interval from her chin to her shoulders. Frank had even took the liberty to color her in with pencil color. But then I saw her eyes. They were large and almond shaped, with long lashes and thick smudgy eyeliner around it. The color was honey hazel and the orbs looks like they’re glowing.

I didn’t expect this at all, I was expecting some old hag or a bulldog with human features, or maybe if he’s in a nice mood he’ll just draw me with scars and pimples or something.

“Whose that?” I asked stupidly, unable to form another sentence.

“You” Renee said like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“It couldn’t be” I said, eyeing the piece of paper warily.

“Every artist has different perspective of everything.” Renee said wisely. “This is his, and maybe not yours”

I’ve heard her say that a lot of times, most of which are to Gerard, when he overly criticize someone else’s work, including mine. When it came to art, Gerard could be kind of harsh.

“But he didn’t even look at me,” I cried angrily, not accepting the fact that he could draw like that, especially draw me so much more beautiful than I really am. Is he sarcastic or something? I know I’m not the most beautiful person in the world, I accept it, why does he have to throw everything back to my face?!

“He didn’t have to” Renee said carefully, “A good artist draw from feeling, you know that Alex”

I cried in exasperation and dropped to a chair, the farthest one away from Frank who was still talking to Renee quietly. My eyes soon filled with tears, but I’m determined to keep them there until the bell rang for lunch, I hate crying in front of people, hell I hate crying in general. So I just sat there keeping my eyes to the floor and biting my lip so that my tears wouldn’t spontaneously combust. The bell rang a good 15 minutes later but as I grabbed my things and preparing to bolt out the door, Renee called me to stay behind.

“What?” I asked, rather rudely.

“Now don’t talk to me like that, Alex” She said sharply. “I’m still your teacher”

“Sorry” I said quietly

“But also your friend” She added softly, she than pulled me to her arms, comforting me like the way a mother comforts her injured 6 year old daughter, the tears soon . “Now what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you act like this before. You are always the strong one Alex, that’s why you survive the competition in my class.”

I sniffed quietly for a minute, then answered.

“I don’t know” I whispered. “I’m so confused, I’ve felt things that I haven’t felt before and handled things the way I never had done, I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do because this all feels so new. It almost feels like I always knew had this feeling before but not in overload mode like this”

“Well” Renee began gently, “I don’t know exactly what you’re feeling, Alex, but what has that got to do with Frank’s drawing?”

“It’s that” I tried to began, but I felt my heart swoop at the sound of his name. “Everything he does, it drives me crazy, it made me go insane. He is just a full blown asshole and he just keep confusing me with his bipolarness. I really don’t need this right now, I mean I’m happier than I’ve ever been before without him confusing me. I have new friends now, not the ones with my brothers, and because of them I have finally gotten over of the fact that Axel isn’t going to be here anymore. I need to have peace, everything is just drama, drama, drama with him. I hate him”

“No you don’t” Renee replied. “I might not know what you’re feeling right now, but I can be sure that it isn’t hate. Look at this”

She pulled out something from her desk, it was a book, a black leather book that looked like it’s kept for years and years carelessly. I squinted down at it, I think I’ve seen it before. Renee handed it over to me, I took it not sure what I’m expecting to see. I opened the leather covers and looked at the first page, it was empty except on the top right hand corner where a messy hand writing scrawled:

PROPERTY OF:

But then someone scratched out the name with a red pen, so violently that it made a tiny hole to the next page. I raised my eyebrow but turn nevertheless to the next page. My eyes widened as my mouth fell open in shock.

It was a drawing of me.

A very tiny me, at the time when I was 8 or 9. My brown hair was still curly and blew wild around my face, and I wore a smile that reached my eyes. I turned the page. Another drawing of me, this time in one of my ballet recitals, my eyes narrowed and small lips pouting, I always hated those dance recitals. Then another page turn, it was me slightly older around 12 or 13, it looks like I was watching TV because it was dark except from the light coming from the front, this portrait was me from the side. I turned page after page, all of them drawings of me, from I was about 8 until the ones of me now. There are even some things in the drawings that I’ve never done before. Such as me lying in a field of dandelions, there aren’t even fields here. Also ones of me singing with a microphone, my hair straight and messy around my face, it looked as if I had been head-banging. Then the last one, I was sitting in a chair concentrating at the paper in front of me, it looked like the exact environment I was just in minutes ago.

“What is this?” I breathed, flipping through the sketch book again.

“That’s Franks” Renee said knowingly.

My heart shot right down to my navel, and my pulse quickened like I had been running in a cross-country marathon.

“What?” I asked disbelievingly

“That’s why I let him in this class” She continued. “He an amazingly talented artist. And of course the fact that he’s madly in love with you”

“No” I said, denying every single word that came out of her mouth

“Alex sweetie, he loves you. And by the way you react to everything in class I think you love him too.” Renee explained carefully.

“I couldn’t possibly – he would never..” I spluttered helplessly

“Let go of your denial, Alex” Renee said softly. “Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world”