Slip Into The Tragedy.

I woke up and groaned. Fuck, it’s the first day of school as a sophomore in high school. Yeay. My first, first day of school without Axel by my side since the 2nd grade. He moved away, just when the summer just begun. It wasn’t just anywhere, it’s London, England, a place that I would love to live in. At first he told me that he was visiting his aunts and cousins there, which is absolutely true, except he doesn’t mention that he was going to move there for the rest of high school, until the last day of freshman year. He thought it was going to be easier that way, but of course he is wrong. He was my best, best friend in the entire world, someone that I love as much as my brothers. Before there was Axel however, that person used to be Frank.

I got up lazily and took a quick shower in my en-suite bathroom, I was always thankful I got the room with the en-suite bathroom, I guess it was because I was the only girl. Then I picked out my favorite pair of black skinny jeans (although most of my jeans are black skinny jeans) and my Black Flag t-shirt that Gerard bought me for last Christmas, and also not forgetting my black and white vans. I put on my usual thick eyeliner that made my hazel eyes and pale skin stand out even more.

I caught a glimpse of myself in my mirror and saw the same thing that I see every single day. A heart shape face

Sighing to myself in the mirror, and thought this is as good it’s gonna get. Although some people always mention how gorgeous I look (Axel, Gerard, Mikey, my parents, Bob, Ray and some relatives to mention some of them), to me I’m the ugliest person that ever walked this earth. This is one of the reasons that I’m filled with self-hatred.

On my way down the stairs to the kitchen, I tripped over the last step and landed flat on my ass. What a beautiful way to start a day, isn’t it?. I got up cussing under my breath as I walked into the kitchen and took a seat beside Gerard. Mikey wasn’t even there yet. Gerard was already stuffing his mouth with a bowl full of cheerios, and beside him his daily dose of fresh coffee. I stared at him disgustedly for a few seconds, but then shook my head and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

“Gffd morrrnin” Gerard tried to say with a mouthful of cheerios.

“Sorry Gee, I don’t speak cheerio” I said, nibbling on my apple a bit.

“I said, good morning” Gerard said after swallowing his mouthful

“Well then good morning to you too, brother.” I said, hugging him from the side.

“How’re you feeling?” Gerard asked worriedly. He knew about me missing Axel so much.

“Like shit” I moaned and put my face into my hands. “But I guess it’s going to get better.”

“Of course it is.” Gerard said softly, smiling his small warm smile

“Hey Lexa!” Mikey said loudly from the kitchen doorway. “You forgot your bag”

And sure enough my checkered messenger bag was in his arms.

“Awww, thanks Mikey” I said, running over to him and hugged him.

“Wait, did you went into my room?” I asked, suspicious.

“Ummmm, maybe” Mikey said, sticking out his tongue. And sometimes I thought he was the mature one, looks like I’m wrong.

“Why?” I asked sharply

“I just wanted to know what a girls’ room is like!” Mikey said, exasperated.

“Ok…” I said rolling my eyes and sitting back down beside Gerard, while Mikey took the seat across from me.

It seems like a typical Way morning like every other, until (yet again) the doorbell rang to indicate that more people will be joining us. Mikey and Gerard deliberately looked at me, and I glared back.

“Fuck no, I don’t want to open that fucking door again” I said, crossing my arms and glaring at the both of them.

“Fine” Mikey whined, as he opened the door. But a split second later we heard the door snap shut again, and an angry looking Mikey stormed back into the room.

“Do they have to do it in our doorstep?!” Mikey asked, angrily. Then I understood completely what he meant. They were making out again, on our front porch. Gerard rolled his eyes again.

“Why do they have to ride with us if Frank already has a car for him to go to school with?” Gerard questioned, as he got up. “C’mon we got to stop them, then get to school.”

Me and Mikey looked at each other, sighed and grabbed each of our messenger bags and walked out to the warm end-of-summer breeze. Pushing Frank and Claire out of the way to get to Gerard’s car. It used to be our father’s, and it got worn out over the years.

“I call shotgun!” I yelled and ran to the passenger seat. But when I opened the car door, Mikey was already sitting there with a wide mocking smile on his face. Damn, that boy was fast.

I grumbled and slid to the back seat. But then I just realized something, if Gerard is driving, and Mikey is on the passenger seat, that means I’m sitting with asshole and bimbo!

Oh shit, this is going to be painful.

At that thought Frank opened the other back door and slid in beside me, followed by his girlfriend. I closed my eyes and prayed for patience and try to make myself as small as possible, by sticking to the car door.

“Frankie, why do we have to use this crappy car?!” Claire whined, “It smelled like something died in here.”

“Maybe it’s your brain” I told her smugly

“Or maybe it’s your face.” Frank retorted, “Or that brown crap on your head that you call hair”

Claire laughed her horrible high pitched laugh as Frank put his arm around her.

“Iero, insult my sister again, I’ll choke you to death” Mikey said in a deadly whisper. Frank acted like he didn’t hear it, but I was fucking sure he did.

I got to admit, that really hurt. Especially coming from my childhood best friend, that would always whisper condescending words to my ear if any guy said I was ugly.

“Don’t listen to them. Your face definitely isn’t pretty at all, it’s gorgeous. Don’t let anybody tell them you’re not good enough, because you are more than that. You are too good. They’re pathetic jerks who can’t tell the difference from their toe to their nose.”

Then he would hug me tight as I cried onto his chest. Even as a little girl, I dreamt to be perfect. To be tall, skinny and absolutely gorgeous. But now, I gotten over that stage of life, and I don’t want to be beautiful or perfect or anything. I just want to be myself, and not let anybody tell me that it isn’t good enough. Just like what Frank used to say.

Just then Gerard sat down on the drivers seat and turned on the engine, then off to school we go! (note the sarcasm). All the way, Gerard blasting Iron Maiden from his stereo. We sang and screamed out the words, and beside Frank, Claire was just sitting there whining that the music is too loud and was complaining that if her friends saw her in Gee’s car, they would totally freak out.

But for once Frank didn’t even care, he had this weird confused look on his face, not noticing or caring about anything. He looks like he was arguing with himself. Now looking at him in such close proximity, I noticed his eyes were dull. Not the bright green eyes that I used to stare into.

When we were younger, we used to have these staring contests and I would always win, because honestly I could stare at his beautiful hazel orbs for hours if I can. I shook my head mentally. How the hell can I call his eyes beautiful? I thought angrily, are you nuts Alex? He’s a fucking jerk! I just shook my head numbly and looked outside the window, only to find that we already arrived at the school.

Gerard pulled up to the nearest available parking spot and I got out of the car quickly, not wanting to be near Frank and Claire. Gerard shot me an apologetic look as I trudged over to the front office to get my schedule. Suddenly someone tackled me to the nearest wall. It was Bob, with a huge grin on his face. This is undoubtedly how he say hello to me these days.

“You know Bobert, some people just say hello.” I stated matter-of-factly.

“Bob isn’t like other people Alex,” Gerard snickered as he walked towards us, with Mikey, Ray, Frank and Claire trailed behind him. “He’s a little touched in the head if you know what I mean.”

Bob released me quickly and scowled at Gerard.

“Thanks, Gee” He mumbled

“Welcome, buddy.” Gerard answered cheerfully.

We all went to the front office together and there was already a queue forming in front of the front desk. Claire and Frank walked faster than the rest of us and were already there. Unwillingly, I stood behind them.

Oh god, could Frank’s pants be any tighter?

It could ^sly smile^

^cough^ manwhore ^cough^ By the way, who the fuck are you?

Your conscious, stupid.

Wow, I think I am going crazy. I’m talking to myself for fucks sake!

Oh look, Claire putting her hand on Frank’s ass!

WHAT THE FUCK! GET OF HIS ASS YOU BITCH!

Ooooh, why? Jealous?

Psh, of course not!

Reeeally? Doesn’t he have a nice ass?

Well yea, now that I think about it.

I froze, what? I did not just think that.

Ewwww.

You like him don’t you? ^sly smile^

FUCK NO! I HATE HIM!

Do I?