Not Now
Not Now
Come here, please hold my hand, Lord, now
Help me, I’m scared please show me how
It was late at night and Billie knew shouldn’t have been wandering the unfamiliar streets of the city. But, after the night he had had with Mike, he needed a walk to gain his composure and convince himself this was reality. Tonight, Mike had finally said those three meaningful words he had been waiting to hear for years, the three words that would forever stick in his mind
“Get back fucker” A gruff voice growled and pushed him into a dark alley near his hotel. Billie found himself surrounded by a gang of men armed with their weapons of choice.
“Down on your knees!” One yelled, and kneed him in his stomach, forcing him to fall on the grimy pavement. That’s when the beating of ongoing kicks and punches began. Billie could wish it would be over soon.
To fight this, God has a master plan
And I guess, I am in his demand
Billie felt his ribs snap under the boots of his assaulters, and then weapons came into play. He knew wouldn’t last much longer when the metallic bat first made contact with his head. He couldn’t think of a reason why the men attacked him…but he figured the Man Above had this planned for him long before that night. A glint of silver shined in the moonlight, and Billie felt a final streak of pain shoot through his abdomen…
Mike had been waiting for Billie to come back from his usual late night walks once he awoke from his post-sex slumber. But once a half hour and several unanswered phone calls passed by, Mike knew he should go look for Billie. The tall blonde scoured the streets looking for any sign of his missing lover but all attempts were in vain.
It seemed like hours to Mike before he leaned against a brick building to scan over the occasional face of a passerby, hoping it’d be his Billie on his way back to the hotel so he could hold him warm in his bed again. A few whoops of joy and laughter broke the silence, and a group of suspicious thugs came out from a dark alley across the street. Mike could tell that was not a good sign. Quickly, he walked across the empty street to make sure everything was alright. A deep groan and an unconscious body on the ground made Mike dial 911 as he tried to make out the features of the crumpled figure lying on the alley floor.
Please save me, this time I cannot run
And I’ll see you when this is done
Billie saw the worn out Converse rush toward him through his pain blurred vision, and he prayed they belonged to Mike. The recognizable face of his lover came into vision as he was lifted up and cradled. He was glad he didn’t have to go through this last stage of life all by himself. Billie felt Mike’s eyes scanning over the scratches and bruises exposed by his ripped t-shirt…and then felt them stop at the gaping wound running up his abdomen, caused by the switchblade. He sensed Mike knew the outlook was not good, and they had to enjoy the few minutes they had before the paramedics would take him from the warm hold of his love.
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one that’s left behind
Mike couldn’t believe that Billie was about to leave him forever. It was obvious that the wound in Billie’s stomach was mortal and he needed to brace himself for what was coming. Mike clutched onto the shaking form of Billie, while they waited for the wailing sirens of the ambulance to interrupt the silence. As tremors of pain rushed through his lover’s body, and blood soaked through his shirt, Mike whispered words of comfort trying to tell Billie that everything was going to be okay soon.
Please stay until I’m gone
I’m here hold on to me
I’m right here waiting
“I’m here…hold on to me…” Mike whispered to Billie when the small man gave out a sorrowful cry of pain. Mike could see his lover’s focus drifting in and out, his eyes fluttering in desperate attempts to hold on for that much longer. Mike could read the fading green eyes and could feel the pangs of pain that his lover was going through. Billie’s eyelids began make their final close, and Mike begged for just one more moment with Billie alive in his arms…
I see the light, it feels good
And I’ll come back soon just like you would
Billie saw the bright white light and felt a strong warmth overtook his shivering form. A sudden lifting sensation and Billie’s spirit left his body, enabling him a view of the empty shell that was his body being lifted into the cabin of the ambulance.
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish I gave you one last kiss
The paramedics made desperate attempts to revive Billie as the ambulance driver rushed the vehicle and its’ passengers to the nearest hospital. Mike knew it was of no use and that Billie was already gone. It was better off that way. He pleaded to paramedics to stop their fruitless attempts; he couldn’t bear to watch his lover’s body jolt about uselessly, because Billie needed to keep his dignity after all. Finally they put down the paddles and watched solemnly as Mike gave Billie one last kiss, hoping Billie could be able to kiss him back.
So take my one last breath
And don’t forget
That I’ll be right here, waiting
As time went by, Mike made attempts to go on living his life, but it was hard. He did know that Billie would always be watching over him, waiting to hear those three words once again…
Help me, I’m scared please show me how
It was late at night and Billie knew shouldn’t have been wandering the unfamiliar streets of the city. But, after the night he had had with Mike, he needed a walk to gain his composure and convince himself this was reality. Tonight, Mike had finally said those three meaningful words he had been waiting to hear for years, the three words that would forever stick in his mind
“Get back fucker” A gruff voice growled and pushed him into a dark alley near his hotel. Billie found himself surrounded by a gang of men armed with their weapons of choice.
“Down on your knees!” One yelled, and kneed him in his stomach, forcing him to fall on the grimy pavement. That’s when the beating of ongoing kicks and punches began. Billie could wish it would be over soon.
To fight this, God has a master plan
And I guess, I am in his demand
Billie felt his ribs snap under the boots of his assaulters, and then weapons came into play. He knew wouldn’t last much longer when the metallic bat first made contact with his head. He couldn’t think of a reason why the men attacked him…but he figured the Man Above had this planned for him long before that night. A glint of silver shined in the moonlight, and Billie felt a final streak of pain shoot through his abdomen…
Mike had been waiting for Billie to come back from his usual late night walks once he awoke from his post-sex slumber. But once a half hour and several unanswered phone calls passed by, Mike knew he should go look for Billie. The tall blonde scoured the streets looking for any sign of his missing lover but all attempts were in vain.
It seemed like hours to Mike before he leaned against a brick building to scan over the occasional face of a passerby, hoping it’d be his Billie on his way back to the hotel so he could hold him warm in his bed again. A few whoops of joy and laughter broke the silence, and a group of suspicious thugs came out from a dark alley across the street. Mike could tell that was not a good sign. Quickly, he walked across the empty street to make sure everything was alright. A deep groan and an unconscious body on the ground made Mike dial 911 as he tried to make out the features of the crumpled figure lying on the alley floor.
Please save me, this time I cannot run
And I’ll see you when this is done
Billie saw the worn out Converse rush toward him through his pain blurred vision, and he prayed they belonged to Mike. The recognizable face of his lover came into vision as he was lifted up and cradled. He was glad he didn’t have to go through this last stage of life all by himself. Billie felt Mike’s eyes scanning over the scratches and bruises exposed by his ripped t-shirt…and then felt them stop at the gaping wound running up his abdomen, caused by the switchblade. He sensed Mike knew the outlook was not good, and they had to enjoy the few minutes they had before the paramedics would take him from the warm hold of his love.
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one that’s left behind
Mike couldn’t believe that Billie was about to leave him forever. It was obvious that the wound in Billie’s stomach was mortal and he needed to brace himself for what was coming. Mike clutched onto the shaking form of Billie, while they waited for the wailing sirens of the ambulance to interrupt the silence. As tremors of pain rushed through his lover’s body, and blood soaked through his shirt, Mike whispered words of comfort trying to tell Billie that everything was going to be okay soon.
Please stay until I’m gone
I’m here hold on to me
I’m right here waiting
“I’m here…hold on to me…” Mike whispered to Billie when the small man gave out a sorrowful cry of pain. Mike could see his lover’s focus drifting in and out, his eyes fluttering in desperate attempts to hold on for that much longer. Mike could read the fading green eyes and could feel the pangs of pain that his lover was going through. Billie’s eyelids began make their final close, and Mike begged for just one more moment with Billie alive in his arms…
I see the light, it feels good
And I’ll come back soon just like you would
Billie saw the bright white light and felt a strong warmth overtook his shivering form. A sudden lifting sensation and Billie’s spirit left his body, enabling him a view of the empty shell that was his body being lifted into the cabin of the ambulance.
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish I gave you one last kiss
The paramedics made desperate attempts to revive Billie as the ambulance driver rushed the vehicle and its’ passengers to the nearest hospital. Mike knew it was of no use and that Billie was already gone. It was better off that way. He pleaded to paramedics to stop their fruitless attempts; he couldn’t bear to watch his lover’s body jolt about uselessly, because Billie needed to keep his dignity after all. Finally they put down the paddles and watched solemnly as Mike gave Billie one last kiss, hoping Billie could be able to kiss him back.
So take my one last breath
And don’t forget
That I’ll be right here, waiting
As time went by, Mike made attempts to go on living his life, but it was hard. He did know that Billie would always be watching over him, waiting to hear those three words once again…