True Confessions

"Come on."

"What?"

"Let's just talk... I want to talk."

"Stretch the truth you mean? Listen, I'm not really into sugar-coated lies. I'm more interested in bloody facts."

"What? You scare me sometimes, you know that?"

"Listen, Travis, I have to go. Bye."

I stepped into Civics class, glad to brush off the awkwardness I created. Somehow he figured out I like him, and my friend confirmed it. I wonder if I could get away with a homocide...

Oh, dramatization.

Notes, notes, notes. VOCABULARY. Notes. It's all we do in this class. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It helps my brain flow and create ideas. By now, I just want to get to Spanish and get it over with. 102 on my spanish exam. Be proud of me, please? No one else is. Not even my mother. Jake is home sick again... That's what we're telling everyone. Really, I think it's time to tell you the truth. Jake has been getting beaten up by some kids. I can't spot them. Normally, I can sort out the evil ones, the ones with ice hearts, but they've learned to cover their footprints well.

But we'll just say he's sick for the sake of everyone else. Not like they care in the least bit.

"TRUE!"

"RAWER!"

I laughed a little, my distraction pushed aside. My mom calls my distractions PMS.

"True!"

He laughed, but I felt like suddenly stopping it all again.

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

We were supposed to be drawing six different pictures so that we could make an imprint. I had finished two, my ideas running out of my head in fast little steps.

"Nothing."

He put his head against mine and I held my breath. "No, tell me. What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"True, come on."

"No, really, I'm fine. Just a lot of thoughts going through my brain. Is that good enough?"

"Sure."

He put his arms around me from behind and I held my breath again. God, why me? WHY ME?

Does it always have to be this way? Will I always beat myself up over trivial things?

Short but simple... I have to accept the fact that all of this is because of me.